For Today: June 30th

‘Taint worthwhile to wear a day all out before it comes.

Sarah Orne Jewett

Planning ahead takes balance and moderation; you have to know when to stop.  As a compulsive person, I was seldom satisfied to let well enough alone.  Planning meant worrying myself through an entire day in advance.

The longer I practice the OA program, the more adept I become at living one day at a time. It is not always easy to know how much or how little planning I should do, but I have a good rule of thumb.  When I begin to worry and fret about how to make things turn out exactly as I want them to, I stop. The relief of letting go, of turning over the responsibility for tomorrow’s outcome is unfailing.

For today: More than anything else, I want the freedom that comes with relinquishing control. I plan and prepare, but I stop short of deciding how something will turn out.

Compulsive overeating is a disease of control….eating excess food is just the symptom of a need to control everything all the time.  Desire for control breeds impatience & dissatisfaction.  How can I live a life of peaceful serenity if I’m trying to do God’s job & control the world???

These days, I am able to plan ahead for certain situations, especially where food is going to be served, but I do not plan the outcome of that situation, unless it IS food related & I know that I WILL remain abstinent. I’m done trying to have things done ‘my way’ and instead, I give that job over to the One who should have it: God.

When I micro-manage my life is when I struggle. When I try to micro-manage other people’s live is also when I struggle.  Struggle creates worry, and worry, in turn, creates more struggle.

And so, the vicious cycle of compulsive behavior is born & thrives.

If I am to nip this compulsive behavior in the bud, I MUST give up my desire to control, period.

For today, I pray for the willingness to let go & let God direct my life.