For Today: June 13th

For Today:   June 13^th

Often we can help each other most by leaving each other alone; at other times we need the hand-grasp and the word of cheer.

Elbert Hubbard

Leaving a person alone is not necessarily rejection. It can be quiet support, silent understanding. Whoever has suffered can surely feel compassion for another’s pain.  In an active sense, there is often nothing to do. Sometimes words are easy & natural. At other times there is the hug, the open mind for listening without giving advice, without platitudes.  To say nothing is perhaps the hardest, most demanding response of all, but it can also be the most loving and respectful. To give the gift of silence in certain circumstances is to encourage a friend to feel those feelings.

For Today:  May I have the wisdom to know when to give words of cheer and comfort and when to give silent support.

It is quite difficult to stay silent while witnessing the suffering of another.  It somehow feels ‘right’ to say SOMETHING…..anything….in an effort to relive the sufferer in some small way. 

Sometimes I hear myself saying, “Don’t cry!” to my 18 year old daughter. Then I stop myself. Why SHOULDN’T she cry if she’s feeling pain or suffering??  I am powerless to stop HER from suffering, so telling her not to cry is the exact opposite of what I SHOULD be doing, which is NOTHING.  I can hold her WHILE she cries, smooth her hair & kiss her cheek, but that’s about ALL I should be doing.

I want to fix the world & everyone in it, but I know that’s impossible.  

Sometimes the best thing I can do is to shut my mouth.  Which is tough, because I have a BIG one!

When a loved one passes away, it’s hard to find just the right words to convey my sympathy……or to dig up just the right words to soothe the bereaved.-----because there ARE no ‘right words’, there IS NO real comfort I can give that person, and that’s the point of this OA reading today methinks.

We all have to be allowed to FEEL our feelings & process them for what they ARE, without someone trying to ‘fix’ us or spout out platitudes in an effort to soothe.

“This too shall pass” is a common OA saying, and, while it may sound like a platitude, I think it can be the BEST thing to say to someone when too many words only make matters worse.

For today, I pray to know WHAT to say and what NOT to say, and when TO say something, and when to keep my mouth SHUT!