For Today: June 10th

Patience is the best remedy for every trouble.
Plautus

Patience is not a virtue commonly found in obsessive/compulsive personalities. Waiting for something I want is not only hard; it often takes agonizing effort.

Thank God that this program gives me the resources with which I slowly cultivate patience. Whether I’m waiting for the (interminably red ) light to change or for a serious problem to be resolved, I have a new awareness of my anxiety and impatience---my racing heart and clenched fists. And I breathe a silent prayer, “Slow me down, God.”

For Today: The nuisances as well as the heavy burdens of my life are better taken care of if I don’t feel I have to rush to “do something” about them the minute they occur.

Impatience is my middle name. Only through OA have I learned how to wait; not to say that I’m ‘perfect’ at waiting….I’m just more aware of my impatience & more willing to ask God to help me relax!

As part of a diet website for 3 years, I see impatience everywhere, constantly, and it teaches me how we’re all exactly alike on this subject.  Expecting certain weight losses every day, being disappointed with the scale, fearing hunger & discomfort…it’s all part of the same disease of compulsivity/obsession.

We want what we want and we want it NOW. We’re like toddlers who hold their breath until they turn blue, stamping their feet for instant gratification. It’s no wonder we are only able to stay committed to a program for short periods of time!

Patience must be cultivated & coaxed along, it does not come about because I want it to. I have to use the tools in my OA toolbox to learn patience, the same way I’d study a textbook to learn a particular subject I am unfamiliar with. Patience, to me, is as unfamiliar as organic chemistry. 

Slowly but surely, I accept the fact that everything in my life happens in God’s time, NOT mine.  I can fight that fact & rage against the moon over it, but that will only worsen my situation instead of improving it.

One day at a time, I pray to cultivate more patience as I travel the road to heightened spirituality by working the steps.