“The world is full of willing people;
some willing to work ... the rest willing to let them.”
Robert Frost
There is a time when we first come into program when we need to just sit back and receive. We come in a desperate state, empty of love and acceptance, with nothing to guide us and no place to go. We learn to feel our emptiness and to accept resting on others and being supported.Then we begin to “get it.” The tingling excitement of hope is aroused in us. A source of power to live is discovered inside of ourselves.At that point, a change must take place if we are to continue our success. While we will always remain a receiver, we must move into the ring of the givers. It requires a new role of courage and boldness to take this step. Fear of what to say, how to sound, and quality of performance must be overcome. This is called Step Twelve.
One Day at a Time . . .
God, grant me the courage to take Step Twelve,
however imperfectly, to grow in my ability to share
what I have so generously been given.
~ Mary Clare
*******************************
Each Day A New Beginning
Pity is the deadliest feeling that can be offered to a woman.
—Vicki Baum
We must move forward with confidence, trusting that the strength we need will be given us, having faith in our visions to guide us. Problems need not daunt us. Rather, they can spur us on to more creative activity. They challenge our capabilities. They insist that we not stand still.
Pity from others fosters inaction, and passivity invites death of the soul. Instead, our will to live is quickened through others' encouragement. All else dampens the will. Pity feeds the self-pity that rings the death knell.
We can give strokes wherever we are today and know that we are helping someone live. And each time we reach out to encourage another, we are breathing new life into ourselves, new life that holds at bay the self-pity that may appear at any moment.
We can serve one another best, never by commiserating with sadness's, but by celebrating life's challenges. They offer the opportunities necessary to our continued growth.
Someone needs a word of encouragement from me. I will brighten her vision of the future.
—Vicki Baum
We must move forward with confidence, trusting that the strength we need will be given us, having faith in our visions to guide us. Problems need not daunt us. Rather, they can spur us on to more creative activity. They challenge our capabilities. They insist that we not stand still.
Pity from others fosters inaction, and passivity invites death of the soul. Instead, our will to live is quickened through others' encouragement. All else dampens the will. Pity feeds the self-pity that rings the death knell.
We can give strokes wherever we are today and know that we are helping someone live. And each time we reach out to encourage another, we are breathing new life into ourselves, new life that holds at bay the self-pity that may appear at any moment.
We can serve one another best, never by commiserating with sadness's, but by celebrating life's challenges. They offer the opportunities necessary to our continued growth.
Someone needs a word of encouragement from me. I will brighten her vision of the future.
From Each Day
a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982,
1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
Food For Thought
Sponsors
Most of us never outgrow our need for a sponsor. Someone who has had similar experiences can give us the understanding, which we require in order to continue to grow in the program. A sponsor who maintains current, clean abstinence and who seriously works the program is someone who inspires us to follow. We could not control our disease by ourselves. As we recover, we continue to need help.
With a food sponsor, we can discuss our particular menus and problems. When we make a mistake, we need to share it with another person in order to profit from it and put it behind us. A program sponsor gives us encouragement and insight as we work the steps. When we are maintaining our desired weight, a maintenance sponsor helps us make any necessary adjustments. Sponsorship is one of the most important OA tools, and we are foolish if we do not take advantage of it. Alone, we are powerless over food.
Thank You for sponsors.
Most of us never outgrow our need for a sponsor. Someone who has had similar experiences can give us the understanding, which we require in order to continue to grow in the program. A sponsor who maintains current, clean abstinence and who seriously works the program is someone who inspires us to follow. We could not control our disease by ourselves. As we recover, we continue to need help.
With a food sponsor, we can discuss our particular menus and problems. When we make a mistake, we need to share it with another person in order to profit from it and put it behind us. A program sponsor gives us encouragement and insight as we work the steps. When we are maintaining our desired weight, a maintenance sponsor helps us make any necessary adjustments. Sponsorship is one of the most important OA tools, and we are foolish if we do not take advantage of it. Alone, we are powerless over food.
Thank You for sponsors.
From Food for
Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992
by Hazelden Foundation.
The Language of Letting Go
Step Ten
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
—Step Ten of Al Anon
Once we have worked our way to this Step, we can maintain and increase our self-esteem by regularly working Step Ten. This Step incorporates the process we have gone through in Steps Four through Nine. We do not work this Step to punish ourselves or to hold ourselves under a constantly critical and demeaning microscope. We do it to maintain self-esteem and harmony in our relationship with others and ourselves. We do it to stay on track.
When an issue or problem emerges and needs our attention, identify it and openly discuss it with at least one safe person and God. Accept it. Become willing to let go of it. Ask God to take it from us. Have a change of heart by the willingness to make whatever amend is called for - to do what is necessary to take care of ourselves. Take an appropriate action to resolve the matter. Then let go of the guilt and shame.
This is a simple formula for taking care of ourselves. This is how we change. This is how we become changed. This is the process for healing and health. This is the process for achieving self-responsibility and self esteem.
The next time we do something that bothers us, the next time we feel off track or off course, we don't have to waste our time or energy feeling ashamed. We can take a Tenth Step. Let the process happen. And move on with our life.
God, help me make this Step and other Steps a habitual way of responding to life and my issues. Help me know that I am free to live, to allow myself to fully experiment with and experience life. If I get off course, or if an issue arises that demands my attention, help me deal with it by using the Tenth Step.
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
—Step Ten of Al Anon
Once we have worked our way to this Step, we can maintain and increase our self-esteem by regularly working Step Ten. This Step incorporates the process we have gone through in Steps Four through Nine. We do not work this Step to punish ourselves or to hold ourselves under a constantly critical and demeaning microscope. We do it to maintain self-esteem and harmony in our relationship with others and ourselves. We do it to stay on track.
When an issue or problem emerges and needs our attention, identify it and openly discuss it with at least one safe person and God. Accept it. Become willing to let go of it. Ask God to take it from us. Have a change of heart by the willingness to make whatever amend is called for - to do what is necessary to take care of ourselves. Take an appropriate action to resolve the matter. Then let go of the guilt and shame.
This is a simple formula for taking care of ourselves. This is how we change. This is how we become changed. This is the process for healing and health. This is the process for achieving self-responsibility and self esteem.
The next time we do something that bothers us, the next time we feel off track or off course, we don't have to waste our time or energy feeling ashamed. We can take a Tenth Step. Let the process happen. And move on with our life.
God, help me make this Step and other Steps a habitual way of responding to life and my issues. Help me know that I am free to live, to allow myself to fully experiment with and experience life. If I get off course, or if an issue arises that demands my attention, help me deal with it by using the Tenth Step.
From The
Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
___________________________________________________________________________________
Today's Gift
And I'll take care of me
Live your loneliness knowing
That we can both be free.
—Mary Lee George
Loneliness is something inside us. It's not caused by other people's behavior, though what others do may let us know we are feeling lonely. We have all experienced being alone and really enjoying it- walking by the river or singing a song we like. Feeling lonely is when we feel like nobody cares about us or wants to be with us.
Sometimes we need to give ourselves permission to feel lonely and know that we are okay no matter what we are feeling. Other times it may be wise to check with others if our feelings are true. We can ask our mother if she cares about us or ask a friend if he wants to play, and be open to the answer. When we feel lonely, we often ignore what others do or say that doesn't agree with what we believe to be true. The important thing to remember is that we are okay no matter what choice we make.
When I feel lonely, what can I do about it?
From Today's
Gift: Daily Meditations for Families ©1985, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
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