“For the things we have to learn
before we can do them, we learn by doing them.”
Aristotle
When I walked into my first Twelve Step meeting I had absolutely no idea what was going on. I knew nothing about the program, the Steps, or how to work them. But I listened, asked questions, and I learned.
One of the most important lessons I learned was that I couldn't just sit around waiting for recovery to take place. I couldn't just ask God for help and do nothing else. I had to put feet to my prayers, as they say. I had to do something. So … slowly, with the help of my sponsor, I took the first Step. And then the second.
I found that I could talk a good game around program folks because I'd learned the lingo. But the saying, “you've got to walk the talk” tells me that I have to do it. I can't just speak my recovery into existence. I found I didn't have recovery until I began working the Steps. It was only when I started “the doing” that the real learning -- and the real recovery -- began.
One Day at a Time . . .
I will take what I learn about recovery
and put it into practice ... I'll work the program.
~ jar
******************************
Each Day A New Beginning
—Isadora Duncan
To be unconditionally loved is our birthright, and we are so loved by God. We desire just such a love from one another, and we deserve it; yet, it's a human quality to look for love before giving it. Thus many of us search intently for signs of love.
Too many of us are searching, rather than loving. Truly loving another means letting go of all expectations. It means full acceptance, even celebration of another's personhood. Not easy, but so rewarding, to ourselves as well as to the one who is the focus of our love.
Love is a balm that heals. Loving lightens whatever our burdens. It invites our inner joy to emerge. But most of all, it connects us, one with another. Loneliness leaves. We are no longer alienated from our environment. Love is the mortar that holds the human structure together. Without the expression of love, it crumbles. This recovery program has offered us a plan for loving others, as well as ourselves. Love will come to us, just as surely as we give it away.
Each and every expression of love I offer today will make smooth another step I take in this life.
From Each Day
a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982,
1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
Food For Thought
Through the OA fellowship, we offer each other mutual support. Since we believe that the Higher Power works through the group, what one of us is prompted to say is probably just what another member needs to hear.
Sometimes we are reluctant to speak of what is in our heart for fear of being embarrassed, belittled, or betrayed. We are so accustomed to masking our true feelings that we often lose touch with them. In OA, we are assured that what we say will be received in a spirit of acceptance and love. We do not need to be afraid of revealing our deeper selves.
It is a healing experience to belong to a group, which is dedicated to honest communication with a minimum of game playing. When we make a genuine attempt to describe where we are in our program, we are met with a warm and supportive response. Our Higher Power opens the way for meaningful communication and mutual love.
Open our hearts to You and to each other.
From Food for
Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992
by Hazelden Foundation.
The Language of Letting Go
So much of what I call my codependency is fear and panic because I spent so much of my life feeling abused, trapped, and not knowing how to take care of myself in relationships.
—Anonymous
No matter how long we have been recovering, we may still tend to give up our power to others, whether they be authority figures, a new love, or a child.
When we do this, we experience the set of emotions and thoughts we call "the codependent crazies." We may feel angry, guilty, afraid, confused, and obsessed. We may feel dependent and needy or become overly controlling and rigid. We may return to familiar behaviors during stress. And for those of us who have codependency and adult children issues, relationships can mean stress.
We don't have to stay stuck in our codependency. We don't have to shame or blame ourselves, or the other person, for our condition. We simply need to remember to own our power.
Practice. Practice. Practice using your power to take care of yourself, no matter who you are dealing with, where you are, or what you are doing. This is what recovery means. This does not mean we try to control others; it does not mean we become abrasive or abusive. It means we own our power to take care of ourselves.
The thought of doing this may generate fears. That's normal! Take care of yourself anyway. The answers, and the power to do that, are within you now.
Start today. Start where you are. Start by taking care of who you are, at the present moment, to the best of your ability.
Today, I will focus on owning my power to take care of myself. I will not let fears, or a false sense of shame and guilt; stop me from taking care of myself.
From The
Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Today's Gift
—Alex Osborn
A garden of flowers blooming is a beautiful sight to see. Through the green leaves surrounding a tulip we see hints of yellow or pink or red. Each day the flowers greet us with their radiant color. Yet, a sudden frost would wilt and fade the flowers.
Each time we create something new with our talents we are like a young flower opening. Whether we draw or write or sew or play a musical instrument, all creativity has this in common. Appreciation from those around us is like sunshine for the flowers. Harsh criticism, however, is like the cold air - it wilts and deadens our desire to create.
We all need warm encouragement for our endeavors, and we can give as well as receive it. In this way, creativity can bloom in our homes and our friendships, bringing a garden full of color and delight into our lives.
What encouragement can I offer to someone near me?
From Today's
Gift: Daily Meditations for Families ©1985, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
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