SERENITY
“The final wisdom of life requires not the annulment of incongruity
but the achievement of serenity with and above it.”
Reinhold Niebuhr
but the achievement of serenity with and above it.”
Reinhold Niebuhr
When I started coming to Recovery Group meetings, I heard the word "serenity" used frequently. I waited for someone to turn the serenity light switch on for me. I thought if I kept coming, the guy in charge of lights would turn mine on, and then I would possess and understand serenity! But the people in the meetings kept telling me, "You need to work the steps." I began to work them with a vengeance, the way a compulsive person -- such as I am -- tends to function.
With each passing day I have begun to feel more comfortable living in my own skin. My fears, worries about the future, and anxieties have all decreased. I have made a more personal connection with my Higher Power. I have begun to develop friendships with other people in Recovery Group. The loving friendships here have had a huge impact on how I feel about myself. They have caused me to experience more self-love and self-acceptance. I have come to the point where I now know that no matter what happens, things will eventually work out for the best for me.
One day at a time...
I will continue to attend meetings to experience serenity.~ Karen A.
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Each Day A New Beginning
—Joanna Field
We think we know what will make us happy. Seldom do we readily accept that painful moments are often the price tags for peaceful, happy times. Nor do we appreciate that happiness lives within each of us; never is it intrinsic to the events we experience. Because we look for happiness "out there" and expect it gift-wrapped in a particular way, we miss the joy of being fully alive each passing moment. How distorted our sense of happiness was before finding our way to this program! How futile our search!
The way still isn't easy every Step we take, but we will find happiness in those fleeting moments when we can get outside of ourselves long enough to be fully attentive to the people in our lives. We'll find it because it's been there all the time. It flows between us when we open our hearts to give and to receive compassion. Being truly there for another person is the key, which unlocks the gate holding happiness back.
I will let someone in today and feel the rush of happiness.
From Each Day
a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982,
1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
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Food For Thought
When we work the Twelve Steps, we grow in self-respect. Abstaining from compulsive overeating gives us new self-confidence. We no longer need to feel either inferior or superior, but we can take our proper place as an equal to those around us.
Many of us used to let ourselves be manipulated because of a lack of self-respect. We may also have tried to manipulate others. Once we have taken an inventory and gotten rid of past guilt's and defects, we embark on a new way of living. Just as we do not try to control the behavior of those we live with, we also do not permit them to control ours.
We are responsible to our Higher Power and responsible for our own actions. We look for opportunities to serve and to give freely of what we have been given. We respect the new life that God has chosen to give us, and we intend to use it as He directs. Saying no to requests and demands, which interfere with and jeopardize our program is sometimes necessary for our recovery.
Thank You, Lord, for self-respect.
From Food for
Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992
by Hazelden Foundation.
The Language of Letting Go
A helpful tool in our recovery, especially in the behavior we call detachment, is learning to identify who owns what. Then we let each person own and possess his or her rightful property.
If another person has an addiction, a problem, a feeling, or a self-defeating behavior, that is their property, not ours. If someone is a martyr, immersed in negativity, controlling, or manipulative behavior, that is their issue, not ours.
If someone has acted and experienced a particular consequence, both the behavior and the consequence belong to that person.
If someone is in denial or cannot think clearly on a particular issue, that confusion belongs to him or her.
If someone has a limited or impaired ability to love or care, that is his or her property, not ours. If someone has no approval or nurturing to give away, that is that person's property.
People's lies, deceptions, tricks, manipulations, abusive behaviors, inappropriate behaviors, cheating behaviors, and tacky behaviors belong to them, too. Not us.
People's hope and dreams are their property. Their guilt belongs to them too. Their happiness or misery is also theirs. So are their beliefs and messages.
If some people don't like themselves, that is their choice. Other people's choices are their property, not ours.
What people choose to say and do is their business.
What is our property? Our property includes our behaviors, problems, feelings, happiness, misery, choices, and messages; our ability to love, care, and nurture; our thoughts, our denial, our hopes and dreams for ourselves. Whether we allow ourselves to be controlled, manipulated, deceived, or mistreated is our business.
In recovery, we learn an appropriate sense of ownership. If something isn't ours, we don't take it. If we take it, we learn to give it back. Let other people have their property, and learn to own and take good care of what's ours.
Today, I will work at developing a clear sense of what belongs to me, and what doesn't. If it's not mine, I won't keep it. I will deal with my issues, my responsibilities, and myself. I will take my hands off what is not mine.
From The
Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Today's Gift
—Philippe Petit
Even the most accomplished pianists begin at some point by playing simple scales and exercises. With daily practice, their hands learn to find the correct notes and become limber enough to play well. They learn each new piece of music very slowly at first, until, with study and practice, they can play almost without effort.
In the beginning, the pianist only dreams of being an accomplished musician. This dream helps the artist through many hours of practice and study.
Talent is really the combination of a dream and the time spent building it. We develop our ability by devoting time to the skills that interest us. Like the musician, we become talented through daily practice - the daily building of a dream. By developing our talents, we develop who we are.
Who am I becoming today?
From Today's
Gift: Daily Meditations for Families ©1985, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
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