Recovery
Meditations: November 18th
~ HONESTY ~
You never find yourself
until you face the truth.
Pearl Bailey
I was brought up to be scrupulously honest, or so I thought.
I still remember how my father would go back into a shop if he'd been given too
much change, a practice that I adopted too. I found it hard to tell a lie, even
a white lie, and I would never contemplate cheating on a test. But when it came
to food, I only realized later, I was totally dishonest. I was even dishonest
when it came to telling people how I felt, or for that matter who I really was.
The person who did these things was a totally different person to the upright
person I liked people to see.
I know now that all the things I'd hidden around food were
obviously what I felt ashamed about. I wanted people to see only the
"good" side of me and not the person who did all these devious things
in secret. I kept thinking that I was a bad person and the shame stopped me
from being totally honest about what I had been doing.
It has taken time, and the love and acceptance I have found
in the fellowship, to be able to get totally honest with myself. It has taken
time to look at all the things about me that I felt ashamed of. In the
housecleaning necessary in the Steps, I have been able to face my shame. I
learned that I am human, and that I have a disease. Some of the soul searching
has been very painful, but at the same time it has been totally enlightening. I
am amazed how I am beginning to know a new me, with faults and all, but a
loveable me nevertheless. As I peel off more layers of the onion that
represents the sum total of what makes me unique and truly one of God's
creatures, I am actually beginning to like the new me. I know now that I am not
a bad person trying to get good, merely a sick person trying to get well.
One Day at a Time . .
.
I will keep being
honest about who I am, what I eat and how I am behaving in my relationships, so
I can learn more about me. Even when I don't like what I see, I know I am still
a loveable person and a child of God, created in His image.
~ Sharon S. ~
*************************************
Each Day A New Beginning
Do
not compare yourself with others, for you are a unique and wonderful
creation. Make your own beautiful footprints in the snow.
—Barbara Kimball
Comparisons we make of ourselves to other women do destruction far greater than our conscious minds are aware of. Positioning ourselves or her on the "beloved pedestal" prevents the equality of sisterhood that offers each woman the freedom to be solely herself.
Comparisons in which we are the losers darken the moment, cut us off from the actual rhythms of that moment. The consequences can be grave. Within any moment might be the opportunity we've awaited, the opportunity to achieve a particular dream. We must not miss our opportunities.
Each life is symbolized by a particular set of footprints in the snow. How wonderful and how freeing to know that we each offer something uniquely our own. We need never compete to be noticed. Each of us is guaranteed recognition for what we contribute, because it is offered by us alone.
Envy eats at us; it interferes with all of our interactions. It possesses all of our thoughts, caging us, denying us the freedom to achieve that can be ours.
I will look with love on my sisters. I will free them and myself to be all we are capable of becoming.
—Barbara Kimball
Comparisons we make of ourselves to other women do destruction far greater than our conscious minds are aware of. Positioning ourselves or her on the "beloved pedestal" prevents the equality of sisterhood that offers each woman the freedom to be solely herself.
Comparisons in which we are the losers darken the moment, cut us off from the actual rhythms of that moment. The consequences can be grave. Within any moment might be the opportunity we've awaited, the opportunity to achieve a particular dream. We must not miss our opportunities.
Each life is symbolized by a particular set of footprints in the snow. How wonderful and how freeing to know that we each offer something uniquely our own. We need never compete to be noticed. Each of us is guaranteed recognition for what we contribute, because it is offered by us alone.
Envy eats at us; it interferes with all of our interactions. It possesses all of our thoughts, caging us, denying us the freedom to achieve that can be ours.
I will look with love on my sisters. I will free them and myself to be all we are capable of becoming.
****************************************
Food For Thought
No Exit
We have tried many ways of avoiding problems and pain. In addition to food, we may have used alcohol, drugs, sleep, sex, compulsive activity, or excessive daydreaming to try to escape whatever it was that we did not want to encounter. Undoubtedly, we found that nothing worked permanently; the problem or pain remained.
It is the attempt to avoid discomfort that turns fear into panic. Whatever troubles or threatens us becomes more unmanageable when we pretend that it does not exist. Now that we have the OA program and contact with a Power greater than ourselves, we can confront our problems without searching frantically for an exit from reality.
Our pain is what teaches us the things we need to know. By being willing to be broken, we are able to become whole. Through our distress, we are watched over by the One who heals us. We need no exit.
Thank You for the faith that overcomes panic.
We have tried many ways of avoiding problems and pain. In addition to food, we may have used alcohol, drugs, sleep, sex, compulsive activity, or excessive daydreaming to try to escape whatever it was that we did not want to encounter. Undoubtedly, we found that nothing worked permanently; the problem or pain remained.
It is the attempt to avoid discomfort that turns fear into panic. Whatever troubles or threatens us becomes more unmanageable when we pretend that it does not exist. Now that we have the OA program and contact with a Power greater than ourselves, we can confront our problems without searching frantically for an exit from reality.
Our pain is what teaches us the things we need to know. By being willing to be broken, we are able to become whole. Through our distress, we are watched over by the One who heals us. We need no exit.
Thank You for the faith that overcomes panic.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation
**************************************
The Language of Letting Go
Allowing Ourselves to be Nurtured
Let yourself be nurtured and loved. Let people be there for you. Allow yourself to be held when it would feel good. Let someone listen to you, support and encourage you when you need that. Receive comfort from someone's physical presence when you need that. Allow yourself to be supported emotionally and cared about.
For too long, we've stood in the background, attending to the needs of others and claiming we have no needs of our own. We've shut off, for to long, the part of us that longs to be nurtured.
It is time, now, to claim those needs, to identify them, and to understand that we deserve to have them met.
What are our needs? What would feel good? What kinds of ways would we like others to nurture and support us? The clearer we can be about our needs, the greater the possibility they will be met.
Hugs. A listening ear. Support. Encouragement. The physical and emotional presence of people who care about us. Doesn't that sound good? Tempting?
Someone once said to me, "The eighties have been a 'me' decade. Now, maybe the nineties can be a 'you' decade."
My reply was immediate. "Let's make the nineties a 'me' and 'you' decade."
No matter how long we've been recovering, we never outgrow our need for nurturing and love.
Today, I will open to recognizing my needs for nurturing. I will be open to the needs of those around me too. I can begin taking a nurturing, loving attitude toward myself and by taking responsibility for my needs in relationships.
Let yourself be nurtured and loved. Let people be there for you. Allow yourself to be held when it would feel good. Let someone listen to you, support and encourage you when you need that. Receive comfort from someone's physical presence when you need that. Allow yourself to be supported emotionally and cared about.
For too long, we've stood in the background, attending to the needs of others and claiming we have no needs of our own. We've shut off, for to long, the part of us that longs to be nurtured.
It is time, now, to claim those needs, to identify them, and to understand that we deserve to have them met.
What are our needs? What would feel good? What kinds of ways would we like others to nurture and support us? The clearer we can be about our needs, the greater the possibility they will be met.
Hugs. A listening ear. Support. Encouragement. The physical and emotional presence of people who care about us. Doesn't that sound good? Tempting?
Someone once said to me, "The eighties have been a 'me' decade. Now, maybe the nineties can be a 'you' decade."
My reply was immediate. "Let's make the nineties a 'me' and 'you' decade."
No matter how long we've been recovering, we never outgrow our need for nurturing and love.
Today, I will open to recognizing my needs for nurturing. I will be open to the needs of those around me too. I can begin taking a nurturing, loving attitude toward myself and by taking responsibility for my needs in relationships.
Today's thought from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:
When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.
--Franklin Delano Roosevelt
Newcomer
Initially, I was excited about recovery. I felt better for a while. I hate to say it, but now that I'm not at the beginning any more, everything seems worse. I feel more cynical than ever.
Sponsor
What you're experiencing is part of the process of recovery. Many of us go through a "honeymoon" phase in early recovery. Our craving may feel miraculously lifted. Change feels easy, and hope replaces despair.
Then, life feels difficult again. We may perceive ourselves as having gotten worse, but that's not accurate. What's really happening is that, though our addictive craving has been treated, we still have our old problems, habits, and states of mind. We may be getting through the day, showing up for our work responsibilities, attending meetings, but not having much fun. We may wonder if what we've heard is really true - that "our worst day in recovery is better than our best day of active addiction." We may wonder whether recovery really is the answer after all.
Our doubt makes clear to us that we have to do something. Staying where we are is too uncomfortable. We can attend a Step meeting and read program literature to begin to familiarize ourselves with our next Step. For spirits in need of healing, Step work leads to the next phase of recovery.
Today, I have the courage to move forward in my journey of recovery.
When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.
--Franklin Delano Roosevelt
Newcomer
Initially, I was excited about recovery. I felt better for a while. I hate to say it, but now that I'm not at the beginning any more, everything seems worse. I feel more cynical than ever.
Sponsor
What you're experiencing is part of the process of recovery. Many of us go through a "honeymoon" phase in early recovery. Our craving may feel miraculously lifted. Change feels easy, and hope replaces despair.
Then, life feels difficult again. We may perceive ourselves as having gotten worse, but that's not accurate. What's really happening is that, though our addictive craving has been treated, we still have our old problems, habits, and states of mind. We may be getting through the day, showing up for our work responsibilities, attending meetings, but not having much fun. We may wonder if what we've heard is really true - that "our worst day in recovery is better than our best day of active addiction." We may wonder whether recovery really is the answer after all.
Our doubt makes clear to us that we have to do something. Staying where we are is too uncomfortable. We can attend a Step meeting and read program literature to begin to familiarize ourselves with our next Step. For spirits in need of healing, Step work leads to the next phase of recovery.
Today, I have the courage to move forward in my journey of recovery.
You are reading from the book:
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