Recovery
Meditations: August 14th
~ LISTENING ~
I have learned silence
from the talkative,
tolerance from the
intolerant,
and kindness from the
unkind.
I should not be
ungrateful to those teachers.
Kahlil Gibran
Verbosity is one of my personal characteristics ...
especially in my past. I remember so well discussions in which I found great
joy in talking. I also remember my prayers to the God Of My Understanding in
which I had a litany of things prayed for.
As I became more and more entrenched in my program, I
noticed that I began to listen more and talk less. I also began to really hear
what God was saying to me. Praying is our talking to God and meditating is
listening to Him. So now meditation has become a way of life for me.
As I go through my life encountering the talkers of the
world, I now try to listen to those who are silent but who have much to say.
The loud voices of my past life were just loud. It is, however, the quiet, calm
voices that have spoken to me in volumes.
One Day at a Time . .
.
I will listen
carefully to those who speak.
I will listen
especially carefully if it's God who is speaking.
~ Mari ~
**********************************************
Each Day a New Beginning
Often when we're
being tough and strong, we're scared. It takes a lot of courage to allow
ourselves to be vulnerable, to be soft.
—Dudley Martineau
We've developed defenses for protection because we have felt the need for protection from the abuses of others, parents on occasion, bosses, spouses, even strangers. And in certain situations, our defenses served us well for a time. However, they have taken their toll. Hiding behind them for long makes them habitual, and we move farther and farther away from our center, from the woman each of us needs and wants to be.
Exposing who we really are invites judgment, sometimes rejection, often times discounting. It's a terribly hard risk to take, and the rewards are seldom immediate. But with time, others respect us for our vulnerability and begin to imitate our example. We are served well by our integrity, in due time.
Letting others see who we really are alleviates confusion, theirs and ours. We no longer need to decide who we should be; we simply are who we are. Our choices are simplified. There is only one appropriate choice to every situation--the one that is honest and wholly reflective of who we are at that moment.
Rewards will be forthcoming when I am honest.
—Dudley Martineau
We've developed defenses for protection because we have felt the need for protection from the abuses of others, parents on occasion, bosses, spouses, even strangers. And in certain situations, our defenses served us well for a time. However, they have taken their toll. Hiding behind them for long makes them habitual, and we move farther and farther away from our center, from the woman each of us needs and wants to be.
Exposing who we really are invites judgment, sometimes rejection, often times discounting. It's a terribly hard risk to take, and the rewards are seldom immediate. But with time, others respect us for our vulnerability and begin to imitate our example. We are served well by our integrity, in due time.
Letting others see who we really are alleviates confusion, theirs and ours. We no longer need to decide who we should be; we simply are who we are. Our choices are simplified. There is only one appropriate choice to every situation--the one that is honest and wholly reflective of who we are at that moment.
Rewards will be forthcoming when I am honest.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey
© 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
*******************************************************
Food for Thought
Rationalizing
We compulsive overeaters are experts at making excuses for taking the line of least resistance. Before we entered this program, we could always find a reason for eating. How many times did we say, "Just one little bite can't possibly hurt"?
It is hard to say no to ourselves and to other people, even though we may realize that saying yes would be hurtful to our health or our integrity. We think up reasons for going along with what other people want us to do, rather than "rocking the boat" by standing up for what we know to be essential for our recovery.
Often we convince ourselves by rationalizing that all is well when it is not. Our emotional and spiritual health requires that we examine honestly our behavior and our relationships. When they are not right, we need to take action to correct them.
By Your light, may I see clearly.
We compulsive overeaters are experts at making excuses for taking the line of least resistance. Before we entered this program, we could always find a reason for eating. How many times did we say, "Just one little bite can't possibly hurt"?
It is hard to say no to ourselves and to other people, even though we may realize that saying yes would be hurtful to our health or our integrity. We think up reasons for going along with what other people want us to do, rather than "rocking the boat" by standing up for what we know to be essential for our recovery.
Often we convince ourselves by rationalizing that all is well when it is not. Our emotional and spiritual health requires that we examine honestly our behavior and our relationships. When they are not right, we need to take action to correct them.
By Your light, may I see clearly.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L.
©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation
*********************************************************
The Language of Letting Go
Owning Our Power
Many of us have someone in our life that challenges our ability to trust and care for ourselves.
When we hear that person's voice or are in his or her presence, we may forget all we know about what is real, about how to own our power, about how to be direct, about what we know and believe to be true, about how important we are.
We give up our power to that person. The child in us gets hooked with a mixture of powerful feelings - love, fear, or anger. We may feel trapped, helpless, or so attracted that we can't think straight. There may be a powerful tug of war going between feelings of anger and our need to be loved and accepted, or between our head and our heart.
We may be so enamored or intimidated that we revert to our belief that we can't react or respond to this person any differently.
We get hooked.
We don't have to stay under a spell.
We start by becoming aware of the people who hook us, and then accepting that.
We can force ourselves through the motions of reacting differently to that person, even if that new reaction is awkward and uncomfortable.
Search out our motivations. Are we somehow trying to control or influence the other person? We cannot change the other person, but we can stop playing our part of the game. One good way to do this is by detaching and letting go of any need to control.
The next step is learning to own our power to take care of ourselves, to be who we are free from their influence. We can learn to own our power with difficult people. It may not happen overnight, but we can begin, today, to change our self-defeating reactions to the people who have hooked us.
God, help me identify the relationships where I have forfeited my power. Help me unhook and begin owning my power.
Many of us have someone in our life that challenges our ability to trust and care for ourselves.
When we hear that person's voice or are in his or her presence, we may forget all we know about what is real, about how to own our power, about how to be direct, about what we know and believe to be true, about how important we are.
We give up our power to that person. The child in us gets hooked with a mixture of powerful feelings - love, fear, or anger. We may feel trapped, helpless, or so attracted that we can't think straight. There may be a powerful tug of war going between feelings of anger and our need to be loved and accepted, or between our head and our heart.
We may be so enamored or intimidated that we revert to our belief that we can't react or respond to this person any differently.
We get hooked.
We don't have to stay under a spell.
We start by becoming aware of the people who hook us, and then accepting that.
We can force ourselves through the motions of reacting differently to that person, even if that new reaction is awkward and uncomfortable.
Search out our motivations. Are we somehow trying to control or influence the other person? We cannot change the other person, but we can stop playing our part of the game. One good way to do this is by detaching and letting go of any need to control.
The next step is learning to own our power to take care of ourselves, to be who we are free from their influence. We can learn to own our power with difficult people. It may not happen overnight, but we can begin, today, to change our self-defeating reactions to the people who have hooked us.
God, help me identify the relationships where I have forfeited my power. Help me unhook and begin owning my power.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation
**************************************************************
Today's thought from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:
Stop expecting too much from yourself.
--Anonymous
When there is too wide a gap between standards we set for ourselves and our actual achievement, unhappiness follows. If we can't improve the performance, we should lower the demands. When we are true to ourselves, we come to expect only that which we are capable of doing. As we grow each day in recovery, we are able to do more.
What we expect from ourselves can change the next day. It is very important that through our meetings and conversations with fellow members, we keep close tabs on our development. We find out that life is for living, and it is better lived when we do our assignments every day.
We are really never given more than we can do. As long as we have realistic goals, we will be given what we need to succeed.
Today I'll remember that when my expectations are too high, I get stuck and down on myself.
Stop expecting too much from yourself.
--Anonymous
When there is too wide a gap between standards we set for ourselves and our actual achievement, unhappiness follows. If we can't improve the performance, we should lower the demands. When we are true to ourselves, we come to expect only that which we are capable of doing. As we grow each day in recovery, we are able to do more.
What we expect from ourselves can change the next day. It is very important that through our meetings and conversations with fellow members, we keep close tabs on our development. We find out that life is for living, and it is better lived when we do our assignments every day.
We are really never given more than we can do. As long as we have realistic goals, we will be given what we need to succeed.
Today I'll remember that when my expectations are too high, I get stuck and down on myself.
You are reading from the book:
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