Recovery
Meditations: May 24, 2015
PERFECTION
"The thing that
is really hard, and really amazing,
is giving up on being
perfect and
beginning the work of
becoming yourself."
Anna Quindlen
"Perfect"...to me that word sounds like: "Do
it again. You didn't do it right." That's the message I get from the
voices in my head. The messages of perfectionism tell me over and over that I
did it wrong. It's a powerful weapon when you use it as a whip against
yourself, just like negative messages when you look in a mirror. I have a
choice every single moment of every single day to either pick up that whip and
hurt myself, or to "get out of my own way" and be kind. I can choose
to look in the mirror and be thankful, and to look at myself and feel love. It
takes a lot of practice, but it is worth it.
If you love yourself more than you love anyone else, you can
feel happiness again. You can create again. You can look at your shadow and say
good things about it too! It's another beautiful you ~ unique and wonderfully
made.
One day at a time...
I will celebrate the
beauty of myself today and every day.
~ Karen
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Each Day a New Beginning
It's ironic, but until you can free those final monsters within the jungle of yourself, your life, your soul is up for grabs.
—Rona Barrett
We all have monsters. Maybe it's depression over the past or present circumstances, or resentment about another's behavior, or fear of new situations. Maybe it's jealousy of other women. The more attention we give the monsters, the more powerful they get. The harder we try to resist the jealousy or depression or fear, the greater it becomes.
The program offers us the way to let go. And we find the way through one another. When we share ourselves fully with one another, share our monsters with one another, they no longer dominate us. They seek the dark recesses of our minds, and when we shine the light on them, they recoil. The program offers us an eternal light.
I will let the program shine its light in my life today. My monsters will flee for the day.
—Rona Barrett
We all have monsters. Maybe it's depression over the past or present circumstances, or resentment about another's behavior, or fear of new situations. Maybe it's jealousy of other women. The more attention we give the monsters, the more powerful they get. The harder we try to resist the jealousy or depression or fear, the greater it becomes.
The program offers us the way to let go. And we find the way through one another. When we share ourselves fully with one another, share our monsters with one another, they no longer dominate us. They seek the dark recesses of our minds, and when we shine the light on them, they recoil. The program offers us an eternal light.
I will let the program shine its light in my life today. My monsters will flee for the day.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey
© 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation
*********************************************************
Food for Thought
Self-Sabotage
There are some times when we seem bent on self-destruction. We may be disgruntled about the demands and responsibilities of the day and determined to punish ourselves for our inability to cope easily. Why we subvert our own best interests is often a mystery, but we all know the frustration and despair of not doing what we should do and doing what we should not do.
Often, we engage in self-sabotage when we are being emotional about a situation instead of viewing it rationally. We usually find that we have forgotten or refused to turn the problem over to our Higher Power. Frequently, we have allowed resentments to build up and cloud our perception.
Whether we turn to food and overeat or whether we indulge in other types of negative, destructive behavior and emotions, we are sabotaging ourselves. We are the ones who suffer the most from our destructiveness. No one else can disturb our serenity unless we permit them to do so.
May I remember to turn to You in times of distress.
There are some times when we seem bent on self-destruction. We may be disgruntled about the demands and responsibilities of the day and determined to punish ourselves for our inability to cope easily. Why we subvert our own best interests is often a mystery, but we all know the frustration and despair of not doing what we should do and doing what we should not do.
Often, we engage in self-sabotage when we are being emotional about a situation instead of viewing it rationally. We usually find that we have forgotten or refused to turn the problem over to our Higher Power. Frequently, we have allowed resentments to build up and cloud our perception.
Whether we turn to food and overeat or whether we indulge in other types of negative, destructive behavior and emotions, we are sabotaging ourselves. We are the ones who suffer the most from our destructiveness. No one else can disturb our serenity unless we permit them to do so.
May I remember to turn to You in times of distress.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L.
©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.
*********************************************************
The Language of Letting Go
Letting the Cycles Flow
Life is cyclical, not static. Our relationships benefit when we allow them to follow their own natural cycles.
Like the tide ebbs and flows, so do the cycles in relationships. We have periods of closeness and periods of distance. We have times of coming together and times of separating to work on individual issues.
We have times of love and joy, and times of anger.
Sometimes, the dimensions of relationships change as we go through changes. Sometimes, life brings us new friends or a new loved one to teach us the next lesson.
That does not mean the old friend disappears forever. It means we have entered a new cycle.
We do not have to control the course of our relationships, whether these be friendships or love relationships. We do not have to satisfy our need to control by imposing a static form on relationships.
Let it flow. Be open to the cycles. Love will not disappear. The bond between friends will not sever. Things do not remain the same forever, especially when we are growing and changing at such a rapid pace.
Trust the flow. Take care of yourself, but be willing to let people go. Hanging on to them too tightly will make them disappear.
The old adage about love still holds true: If it's meant to be, it will be. And if you love someone, let them go. If they come back to you, the love is yours.
Today, I accept the cyclical nature of life and relationships. I will strive to go with the flow. I will strive for harmony with my own needs and the needs of the other person.
Life is cyclical, not static. Our relationships benefit when we allow them to follow their own natural cycles.
Like the tide ebbs and flows, so do the cycles in relationships. We have periods of closeness and periods of distance. We have times of coming together and times of separating to work on individual issues.
We have times of love and joy, and times of anger.
Sometimes, the dimensions of relationships change as we go through changes. Sometimes, life brings us new friends or a new loved one to teach us the next lesson.
That does not mean the old friend disappears forever. It means we have entered a new cycle.
We do not have to control the course of our relationships, whether these be friendships or love relationships. We do not have to satisfy our need to control by imposing a static form on relationships.
Let it flow. Be open to the cycles. Love will not disappear. The bond between friends will not sever. Things do not remain the same forever, especially when we are growing and changing at such a rapid pace.
Trust the flow. Take care of yourself, but be willing to let people go. Hanging on to them too tightly will make them disappear.
The old adage about love still holds true: If it's meant to be, it will be. And if you love someone, let them go. If they come back to you, the love is yours.
Today, I accept the cyclical nature of life and relationships. I will strive to go with the flow. I will strive for harmony with my own needs and the needs of the other person.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation
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Today's thought from Hazelden is:
Love doesn't just sit there, like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new.
--Ursula K. Le Guin
In the first phases of a relationship, everything is new and exciting. It seems as though nothing could ever go wrong.
Yet as we move out of this "honeymoon" phase of the relationship, problems begin. Suddenly we notice things about the other person that bother us. We seem to have more disagreements and more difficulties that take longer to solve. We may even silently choose corners, put up walls, and back away from each other.
It's easy at this stage to want to end the relationship. But now is when the outcome of the relationship is most critical. If we run away from renewing our love and rebuilding the foundations of trust and faith in each other, we will deprive our love of its nourishment for growth. Love takes constant work and needs plenty of patience. Each day can reveal a new layer of love; each stage in a relationship moves us to a new plateau. But only if we are willing.
I can look at my relationships and see the potential for growth. Help me renew my feelings of love through faith.
Love doesn't just sit there, like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new.
--Ursula K. Le Guin
In the first phases of a relationship, everything is new and exciting. It seems as though nothing could ever go wrong.
Yet as we move out of this "honeymoon" phase of the relationship, problems begin. Suddenly we notice things about the other person that bother us. We seem to have more disagreements and more difficulties that take longer to solve. We may even silently choose corners, put up walls, and back away from each other.
It's easy at this stage to want to end the relationship. But now is when the outcome of the relationship is most critical. If we run away from renewing our love and rebuilding the foundations of trust and faith in each other, we will deprive our love of its nourishment for growth. Love takes constant work and needs plenty of patience. Each day can reveal a new layer of love; each stage in a relationship moves us to a new plateau. But only if we are willing.
I can look at my relationships and see the potential for growth. Help me renew my feelings of love through faith.
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