Recovery Meditations: July 19th
HONORING MYSELF
“And how shall you punish those whose remorse
is already greater than their misdeeds?”
Kahlil Gibran
We are not bad people trying to become good; rather, we are sick people trying to get well. It takes a long time for some of us to believe this truth. We have been programmed to believe the worst about ourselves … or ironically, to believe ourselves to be much better than others. This appears to be a common denominator in our disease.
We despise the person we perceive ourselves to be. Virtually every event in our lives drives us deeper into the abyss of remorse, self-abuse, self-hate, and self-serving. We must stop believing lies about ourselves. The fact that we are here on Earth is proof that we belong and that we have the right -- even the obligation -- to be what we can be.
One day at a time...
I will honor and respect myself.
~ Jeremiah
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Each Day a New Beginning
At fifteen life had taught me
undeniably that surrender, in its place, was as honorable as resistance,
especially if one had no choice.
—Maya Angelou
We had to surrender to a power greater than ourselves to get to where we are today. And each day, we have to turn to that power for strength and guidance. For us, resistance means struggle - struggle with others as well as an internal struggle.
Serenity isn't compatible with struggle. We cannot control forces outside of ourselves. We cannot control the actions of our family or our co-workers. We can control our responses to them. And when we choose to surrender our attempts to control, we will find peace and serenity.
That which we abhor, that which we fear, that which we wish to conquer seems suddenly to be gone when we decide to resist no more - to tackle it no more.
The realities of life come to us in mysterious ways. We fight so hard, only to learn that what we need will never be ours until the struggle is forsaken. Surrender brings enlightenment.
Life's lessons are simple once I give up the struggle.
—Maya Angelou
We had to surrender to a power greater than ourselves to get to where we are today. And each day, we have to turn to that power for strength and guidance. For us, resistance means struggle - struggle with others as well as an internal struggle.
Serenity isn't compatible with struggle. We cannot control forces outside of ourselves. We cannot control the actions of our family or our co-workers. We can control our responses to them. And when we choose to surrender our attempts to control, we will find peace and serenity.
That which we abhor, that which we fear, that which we wish to conquer seems suddenly to be gone when we decide to resist no more - to tackle it no more.
The realities of life come to us in mysterious ways. We fight so hard, only to learn that what we need will never be ours until the struggle is forsaken. Surrender brings enlightenment.
Life's lessons are simple once I give up the struggle.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey
© 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation
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Food for Thought
Right Makes Might
When we are working our program properly, we have an inner sense of rightness that makes us strong and self-confident. We are controlling food, rather than being controlled by it. We are willing to let our Higher Power straighten out our confused lives.
Action is necessary. We need to "walk the walk" as well as "talk the talk." No amount of insight will give us progress unless we are willing to take the concrete steps outlined in the OA program. We need to work closely with qualified sponsors who can guide us in our abstinence and in our program.
Compulsive overeating made us weak physically, emotionally, and spiritually. As we abstain, we gain strength on all three levels.
Thank You for the strength that comes from doing the right thing.
When we are working our program properly, we have an inner sense of rightness that makes us strong and self-confident. We are controlling food, rather than being controlled by it. We are willing to let our Higher Power straighten out our confused lives.
Action is necessary. We need to "walk the walk" as well as "talk the talk." No amount of insight will give us progress unless we are willing to take the concrete steps outlined in the OA program. We need to work closely with qualified sponsors who can guide us in our abstinence and in our program.
Compulsive overeating made us weak physically, emotionally, and spiritually. As we abstain, we gain strength on all three levels.
Thank You for the strength that comes from doing the right thing.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L.
©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.
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The Language of Letting Go
Proving It to Ourselves
I spent a year trying to prove to my husband how much his drinking was hurting me. When I began to recover, I realized I was the one who needed to realize how much his drinking was hurting me.
—Anonymous
I spent months trying to prove to a man I was dating how responsible and healthy I was. Then I realized what I was doing. He didn't need to realize how responsible and healthy I was. I did.
—Anonymous
Trying to prove how good we are, trying to prove we're good enough, trying to show someone how much he or she has hurt us, trying to show someone we're understanding, are warning signs that we may be into our self defeating behaviors.
They can be an indication that we are trying to control someone. They can be an indication that we do not believe how good we are, that we're good enough, that someone is hurting us.
They can be a warning that we've allowed ourselves to get hooked into a dysfunctional system. They may indicate that we're stuck in the cloudy fog of denial or doing something that is not good for us.
Trying excessively to make a point with another may mean that we have not yet made that point with ourselves. Once we make that point with ourselves, once we understand, we will know what to do.
The issue is not about others understanding and taking us seriously. The issue is not about others believing we're good and good enough. The issue is not about others seeing and believing how responsible or loving or competent we are. The issue is not about whether others realize how deeply we are feeling a particular feeling. We are the ones that need to see the light.
Today, God, help me let go of my need to control outcomes by influencing the beliefs of others. I will concentrate on accepting myself, rather than trying to prove something about myself. If I catch myself in the codependent trap of trying to emphasize something about myself to another, I will ask myself if I need to convince myself at that point.
I spent a year trying to prove to my husband how much his drinking was hurting me. When I began to recover, I realized I was the one who needed to realize how much his drinking was hurting me.
—Anonymous
I spent months trying to prove to a man I was dating how responsible and healthy I was. Then I realized what I was doing. He didn't need to realize how responsible and healthy I was. I did.
—Anonymous
Trying to prove how good we are, trying to prove we're good enough, trying to show someone how much he or she has hurt us, trying to show someone we're understanding, are warning signs that we may be into our self defeating behaviors.
They can be an indication that we are trying to control someone. They can be an indication that we do not believe how good we are, that we're good enough, that someone is hurting us.
They can be a warning that we've allowed ourselves to get hooked into a dysfunctional system. They may indicate that we're stuck in the cloudy fog of denial or doing something that is not good for us.
Trying excessively to make a point with another may mean that we have not yet made that point with ourselves. Once we make that point with ourselves, once we understand, we will know what to do.
The issue is not about others understanding and taking us seriously. The issue is not about others believing we're good and good enough. The issue is not about others seeing and believing how responsible or loving or competent we are. The issue is not about whether others realize how deeply we are feeling a particular feeling. We are the ones that need to see the light.
Today, God, help me let go of my need to control outcomes by influencing the beliefs of others. I will concentrate on accepting myself, rather than trying to prove something about myself. If I catch myself in the codependent trap of trying to emphasize something about myself to another, I will ask myself if I need to convince myself at that point.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
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Love itself is not an act of will, but sometimes I need the force of my volition to break with my habitual responses and pass along the love already here.
--Hugh Prather
The familiarity of isolation is both haunting and inviting. In our separateness we contemplate the joys of shared hours with others while seeking the freedom from the pain that likewise hovers on the heels of intimate relationships. The question eternally whispering around our souls is, "Do I dare let you in, to share my space, to know my heart's longing, to feel my fears?" Only when we trust to say yes will we find the peace our souls long for.
Passage through the doors that separate us frees us to change, to grow, to love ourselves and others. We must plant our feet in the soil of shared lives to quiet our longing.
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