Recovery Meditations: June 5th
HONESTY
“Our lives improve only when we take chances ~
and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves.”
Walter Anderson
After the initial shock and realization that I am a compulsive overeater, it transpired that in order to recover, I had to get honest. This was -- and still is -- a painful process for me, yet it is an essential step towards my recovery.
First I had to admit that I wasn't in control of my life and that recovery couldn't be achieved unaided. As with most revelations, this was an uncomfortable truth to behold. I was also prompted through honesty to stop blaming everyone else for my unwillingness to help myself. I had to find conviction in my actions and not just emptiness in my words.
I conceded that I am not as perfect as I would like to think. I make mistakes and sometimes slip from the path of recovery, but with honesty comes acceptance that I am only human. This disease would deceive me into thinking that I am a failure when in fact it's my actions that have failed me. Like a magician who performs illusions for the crowd, this disease would have me think I have committed unforgivable sins. Honesty is the key to my recovery; it unlocks the chains that have imprisoned me for so long. It allows me to recognize my weaknesses and turn them into strengths. It turns simple existence into life ~ and inner-conflicts into outward serenity.
One day at a time...
I will be honest with myself.
~ Sue G.
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Each Day a New Beginning
The level of anxiety I feel when an
attractive woman enters the room is the cue informing me of my closeness
to God at that moment.
—Anonymous
Our security lies now and always in our relationship with God. When we are spiritually connected, we don't lack confidence, self-assurance. We don't doubt our value to those around us. Having an active friendship with our God keeps us ever aware that whatever is right for each of us at this time will be given us, that each other person in our life is also on a divinely ordained path going somewhere special to her growth.
It's unfortunate, but true, that many of us had painful experiences with other women earlier in our lives. Maybe we lost a lover or a husband to someone we knew. And it's difficult to believe that what is right for us will come to us, that we need never fear another woman.
The program offers us daily opportunities to take stock of our assets in order to know that we count. And more importantly, it promises security and serenity if each day we invite our higher power to be our companion. We need never fear someone else's presence. Nor need we fear any new situation. With God at our side, all is well. And we'll know it!
I will make God my friend today and enjoy the ease of living.
—Anonymous
Our security lies now and always in our relationship with God. When we are spiritually connected, we don't lack confidence, self-assurance. We don't doubt our value to those around us. Having an active friendship with our God keeps us ever aware that whatever is right for each of us at this time will be given us, that each other person in our life is also on a divinely ordained path going somewhere special to her growth.
It's unfortunate, but true, that many of us had painful experiences with other women earlier in our lives. Maybe we lost a lover or a husband to someone we knew. And it's difficult to believe that what is right for us will come to us, that we need never fear another woman.
The program offers us daily opportunities to take stock of our assets in order to know that we count. And more importantly, it promises security and serenity if each day we invite our higher power to be our companion. We need never fear someone else's presence. Nor need we fear any new situation. With God at our side, all is well. And we'll know it!
I will make God my friend today and enjoy the ease of living.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey
© 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
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Food for Thought
Good Spirits
Many of us find that we need to avoid alcohol as well as refined sugars and starches if we are to maintain abstinence. The resemblance between compulsive overeating and alcoholism is striking. Frequently, alcoholics are compulsive overeaters and vice versa.
Both alcohol and sugar induce an artificial high which, in order to be maintained, requires increasing quantities of the addictive substance. Both food and drink may be used as escapes from the unpleasant realities of living, and the abuse of both involves similar character defects.
The spirits found in alcohol and sugar let us down. They are no substitute for faith in a Higher Power and the peace and joy, which that faith brings. Alcohol distorts our perception of reality and eventually acts as a depressant. God's Spirit in our hearts clarifies our understanding and gives us enthusiasm and deep joy.
I need Your Spirit, Lord.
Many of us find that we need to avoid alcohol as well as refined sugars and starches if we are to maintain abstinence. The resemblance between compulsive overeating and alcoholism is striking. Frequently, alcoholics are compulsive overeaters and vice versa.
Both alcohol and sugar induce an artificial high which, in order to be maintained, requires increasing quantities of the addictive substance. Both food and drink may be used as escapes from the unpleasant realities of living, and the abuse of both involves similar character defects.
The spirits found in alcohol and sugar let us down. They are no substitute for faith in a Higher Power and the peace and joy, which that faith brings. Alcohol distorts our perception of reality and eventually acts as a depressant. God's Spirit in our hearts clarifies our understanding and gives us enthusiasm and deep joy.
I need Your Spirit, Lord.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L.
©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.
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The Language of Letting Go
Combating Shame
Shame can hold us back, hold us down, and keep us staring at our feet.
—Beyond Codependency
Watch out for shame.
Many systems and people reek of shame. They are controlled by shame and may want us to play their game with them. They may be hoping to hook us and control us through shame.
We don't have to fall into their shame. Instead, we'll take the good feelings - self-acceptance, love, and nurturing.
Compulsive behaviors, sexually addictive behaviors, overeating, chemical abuse, and addictive gambling are shame-based behaviors. If we participate in them, we will feel ashamed. It's inevitable. We need to watch out for addictive and other compulsive behaviors because those will immerse us in shame.
Our past, and the brainwashing we may have had that imposed "original shame" upon us, may try to put shame on us. This can happen when we're all alone, walking through the grocery store or just quietly going about living our life. Don't think . . . Don't feel . . . Don't grow or change . . .Don't be alive . . . Don't live life . . . Be ashamed!
Be done with shame. Attack shame. Go to war with it. Learn to recognize it and avoid it like the plague.
Today, I will deliberately refuse to get caught up in the shame floating around in the world. If I cannot resist it, I will feel it, accept it, and then be done with it as quickly as possible. God, help me know that it's okay to love myself and help me to refuse to submit to shame. If I get off course, help me learn to change shame into guilt, correct the behavior, and move forward with my life in immediate self-love.
Shame can hold us back, hold us down, and keep us staring at our feet.
—Beyond Codependency
Watch out for shame.
Many systems and people reek of shame. They are controlled by shame and may want us to play their game with them. They may be hoping to hook us and control us through shame.
We don't have to fall into their shame. Instead, we'll take the good feelings - self-acceptance, love, and nurturing.
Compulsive behaviors, sexually addictive behaviors, overeating, chemical abuse, and addictive gambling are shame-based behaviors. If we participate in them, we will feel ashamed. It's inevitable. We need to watch out for addictive and other compulsive behaviors because those will immerse us in shame.
Our past, and the brainwashing we may have had that imposed "original shame" upon us, may try to put shame on us. This can happen when we're all alone, walking through the grocery store or just quietly going about living our life. Don't think . . . Don't feel . . . Don't grow or change . . .Don't be alive . . . Don't live life . . . Be ashamed!
Be done with shame. Attack shame. Go to war with it. Learn to recognize it and avoid it like the plague.
Today, I will deliberately refuse to get caught up in the shame floating around in the world. If I cannot resist it, I will feel it, accept it, and then be done with it as quickly as possible. God, help me know that it's okay to love myself and help me to refuse to submit to shame. If I get off course, help me learn to change shame into guilt, correct the behavior, and move forward with my life in immediate self-love.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation
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Ideally, both members of a couple in love free each other to new and different worlds.
--Anne Morrow Lindbergh
We cannot possess another's spirit, even though we may desire to do so while struggling to feel love. We must not block one another's invitations for adventure even though we fear being left behind. We won't find the happiness we long for if we've tied another to ourselves by strings of shame, guilt, or pity.
Being free to love, or not, is the only path to real love. A trapped butterfly soon loses its splendor - and life; likewise, a trapped lover quietly awaits the relationship's death.
Traveling separate, yet parallel, paths keeps a relationship vital. Bringing fresh ideas, favored hopes, and fruitful experiences to each other's attention is the enhancement a relationship must have to stay strong.
Let's not corner our partners but instead trust that real love is the promised gift of being free.
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