Recovery Meditations: March 22nd
Patience
"Adopt the pace of nature; her secret is Patience."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Today's topic is Patience! When I first came to Program, I didn't really know what abstinence was. I thought it was a diet. It turned out to be far more than I ever imagined. Since beginning, I've gained abstinence, I've lost weight and my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being has changed more than I ever thought possible. I've come so far ... beyond my wildest dreams ... yet, sometimes it feels like it's still not enough. I'll get in a row with my 12 year old daughter over some minor issue. She has a way of pushing my buttons which sends me into "fingerpointing" and "lecture" mode - good intentions gone totally awry! She'll ultimately tune me out - and I'll walk away feeling like a bad parent. The guilt will set in and I'll deride myself for lacking patience and having bad judgement! But once I've calmed down - I'll remind myself that my intentions were good and - as in my food plan - progress not perfection has to apply to my parenting just as it does to my any other aspect of my recovery. This requires me to be patient with MYSELF as well as with others.
One Day at a Time . . .
I will learn to be patient with myself as well as with others.
~ Rob R.
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Each Day a New Beginning
Reared as we were in a youth and beauty-oriented society, we measured ourselves by our ornamental value.
—Janet Harris
Rare is the woman who doesn't long for a svelte body, firm breasts, pretty teeth, a smooth complexion. Rare is the woman who feels content, truly satisfied with her total person. We are often torn between wanting to be noticed and yet not wanting eyes to gaze upon us.
We are all that we need to be today, at this moment. And we have an inner beauty, each of us, that is our real blessing in the lives of others. Our inner beauty will shine forth if we invite it to do so. Whatever our outer appearance, it doesn't gently touch or bring relief where suffering is--like our words which come from the heart, the home of our inner beauty.
Perhaps a better mirror for reflecting our true beauty is the presence or absence of friends in our lives. We each have known stunning women who seemed to cast only cold glances our way and handsome men who arrogantly belittled others. It's our inner beauty that is valued by others. The surprise in store for each of us is discovering that the glow of our inner beauty transforms our outer appearance too.
My beauty today will be enhanced by my gentle attention to the other people sharing my experiences.
—Janet Harris
Rare is the woman who doesn't long for a svelte body, firm breasts, pretty teeth, a smooth complexion. Rare is the woman who feels content, truly satisfied with her total person. We are often torn between wanting to be noticed and yet not wanting eyes to gaze upon us.
We are all that we need to be today, at this moment. And we have an inner beauty, each of us, that is our real blessing in the lives of others. Our inner beauty will shine forth if we invite it to do so. Whatever our outer appearance, it doesn't gently touch or bring relief where suffering is--like our words which come from the heart, the home of our inner beauty.
Perhaps a better mirror for reflecting our true beauty is the presence or absence of friends in our lives. We each have known stunning women who seemed to cast only cold glances our way and handsome men who arrogantly belittled others. It's our inner beauty that is valued by others. The surprise in store for each of us is discovering that the glow of our inner beauty transforms our outer appearance too.
My beauty today will be enhanced by my gentle attention to the other people sharing my experiences.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey
© 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
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Food for Thought
Abstinence Is a Way of Life
Each morning when we wake up, we give thanks for another day of abstinence. Our bodies feel good, function well, and look better. To go back to our old ways of eating compulsively would be to give up the new health and peace of mind, which we have acquired through OA.
We do not want to go back. We are learning a new way of life, one that is infinitely preferable to our old ways. In order to maintain our abstinence and continue to make progress, we need a program. For most of us, this involves working the Twelve Steps each day.
Program sponsors can help us with this new way of life. Other OA members share their experience and tell us what has worked for them. Most of us find that we need the spiritual part of the program if we are to maintain our abstinence. Abstaining purely for weight control is usually not enough.
If we are to keep what OA has given us, we have to share it with others. We find that the more we give it away, the more progress we make with our own program.
To abstain is no sacrifice; it is growth and life.
I am grateful for this new life.
Each morning when we wake up, we give thanks for another day of abstinence. Our bodies feel good, function well, and look better. To go back to our old ways of eating compulsively would be to give up the new health and peace of mind, which we have acquired through OA.
We do not want to go back. We are learning a new way of life, one that is infinitely preferable to our old ways. In order to maintain our abstinence and continue to make progress, we need a program. For most of us, this involves working the Twelve Steps each day.
Program sponsors can help us with this new way of life. Other OA members share their experience and tell us what has worked for them. Most of us find that we need the spiritual part of the program if we are to maintain our abstinence. Abstaining purely for weight control is usually not enough.
If we are to keep what OA has given us, we have to share it with others. We find that the more we give it away, the more progress we make with our own program.
To abstain is no sacrifice; it is growth and life.
I am grateful for this new life.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L.
©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.
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The Language of Letting Go
Letting Go of Being a Victim
It's okay to have a good day. Really.
It's okay to be doing okay and to feel like our life is manageable and on track.
Many of us have learned, as part of our survival behaviors, that the way to get the attention and approval we want is to be victims. If life is awful, too difficult, unmanageable, too hard, unfair, then others will accept, like, and approve of us, we think.
We may have learned this from living and associating with people who also learned to survive by being a victim.
We are not victims. We do not need to be victimized. We do not need to be helpless and out of control to get the attention and love we desire. In fact, the kind of love we are seeking cannot be obtained that way.
We can get the love we really want and need by only owning our power. We learn that we can stand on our own two feet, even though it sometimes feels good to lean a little. We learn that the people we are leaning on are not holding us up. They are standing next to us.
We all have bad days -- days when things are not going the way we'd like, days when we have feelings of sadness and fear. But we can deal with our bad days and darker feelings in ways that reflect self-responsibility rather than victimization.
It's okay to have a good day too. We might not have as much to talk about, but we'll have more to enjoy.
God, help me let go of my need to be a victim. Help me let go of my belief that to be loved and get attention I need to be a victim. Surround me with people who love me when I own my power. Help me start having good days and enjoying them.
It's okay to have a good day. Really.
It's okay to be doing okay and to feel like our life is manageable and on track.
Many of us have learned, as part of our survival behaviors, that the way to get the attention and approval we want is to be victims. If life is awful, too difficult, unmanageable, too hard, unfair, then others will accept, like, and approve of us, we think.
We may have learned this from living and associating with people who also learned to survive by being a victim.
We are not victims. We do not need to be victimized. We do not need to be helpless and out of control to get the attention and love we desire. In fact, the kind of love we are seeking cannot be obtained that way.
We can get the love we really want and need by only owning our power. We learn that we can stand on our own two feet, even though it sometimes feels good to lean a little. We learn that the people we are leaning on are not holding us up. They are standing next to us.
We all have bad days -- days when things are not going the way we'd like, days when we have feelings of sadness and fear. But we can deal with our bad days and darker feelings in ways that reflect self-responsibility rather than victimization.
It's okay to have a good day too. We might not have as much to talk about, but we'll have more to enjoy.
God, help me let go of my need to be a victim. Help me let go of my belief that to be loved and get attention I need to be a victim. Surround me with people who love me when I own my power. Help me start having good days and enjoying them.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation
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When we do for other people what they should do for themselves, we both stay stuck.
Perhaps it's human nature to grow and change only when we have to. Unrelenting pain can serve as a motivator. Sometimes ultimatums are effective too. But making excuses for others or taking over their responsibilities, even when it's for their benefit, never inspires change. We're learning that the only change we can be certain of is one we make in ourselves.
One of the first changes we can make is to let go of others: their opinions, their behavior, and their responsibilities. Our need for them to fulfill our expectations is related to our insecurity, not theirs. Every time we preach or take on others' duties, we must recognize that we are preventing much-needed growth, ours and theirs.
Our intentions might always have been good. But the time has come to let others live their own lives. It's quite enough to take care of ourselves.
I will not do someone else's task today. Growth comes from each of us being responsible for ourselves.
You are reading from the book:
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