Recovery Meditations: March 21st
Patience
"Patience is the companion of wisdom."
Saint Augustine
(354 – 430) The Bishop of Hippo, was a philosopher and theologian
and one of the most important figures in the development of Western Christianity.
Patience is an area that I have had some REAL problems with in the past. I had a tendency to want - what I want - NOW! That included recovery. Gaining recovery, as I would eventually realize, is not the same as earning a university credit. It is a process not an end result. You have to be willing to learn to do things in HP's time and manner rather than your own. What began to happen was - the more impatient I became - the more life tended to resist my efforts. It took a long time for me to realize this. Instead of calming down, I would get even more impatient and struggle even harder. Eventually, I would have a big meltdown and feel like a fool afterwards.
The end result was absolutely no different for having done this. It took time for me to muster the willingness to do things in HP's time and manner. But when I did - life became much more peaceful and things had a tendency to work themselves out - without all the dramatics.
One Day at a Time . . .
I will learn to patiently and willingly do things in HP's time and manner.
~ Rob R.
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Each Day a New Beginning
Children are surely one of God's
greatest gifts and truest challenges. To share your life with a child is
to humble yourself so that you may learn from them and discover with
them the beautiful secrets that are only uncovered in searching.
—Kathleen Tierney Crilly
Humility accompanies every experience wherein we let ourselves fully listen to others, to learn from them, to be changed by their words, their presence. Each opportunity we take to be fully present to another person, totally with them in mind and spirit, will bless us while it blesses them. Offering and receiving the gift of genuine attention is basic to the emotional growth of every human being.
Before recovering, many of us so suffered from obsessive self-centered pity that we seldom noted the real needs or pain of the people close to us. We closed ourselves off, wallowing in our own selfish worries, and our growth was stunted.
Some days we still wallow. But a new day has dawned. The Steps offer us new understanding. They are helping us look beyond ourselves to all the "children of God" in our daily lives. From each of them we have many secrets to learn.
I will be joyous today. Many secrets about life are mine to learn if I will stay close to all the people who cross my path. I will be mindful they are there because they have something to give me. I will be ready to receive it.
—Kathleen Tierney Crilly
Humility accompanies every experience wherein we let ourselves fully listen to others, to learn from them, to be changed by their words, their presence. Each opportunity we take to be fully present to another person, totally with them in mind and spirit, will bless us while it blesses them. Offering and receiving the gift of genuine attention is basic to the emotional growth of every human being.
Before recovering, many of us so suffered from obsessive self-centered pity that we seldom noted the real needs or pain of the people close to us. We closed ourselves off, wallowing in our own selfish worries, and our growth was stunted.
Some days we still wallow. But a new day has dawned. The Steps offer us new understanding. They are helping us look beyond ourselves to all the "children of God" in our daily lives. From each of them we have many secrets to learn.
I will be joyous today. Many secrets about life are mine to learn if I will stay close to all the people who cross my path. I will be mindful they are there because they have something to give me. I will be ready to receive it.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey
© 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
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Food for Thought
Letting Go
By admitting that we are unable to manage our own lives, we become ready to let a Higher Power take over. Before we can fully benefit from God's direction, we must let go completely of the idea that we are in control.
We say that we are grateful compulsive overeaters, because if it had not been for our inability to control what we ate and the resulting turmoil in our lives, we might never have realized our need to "let go and let God."
When we turn our problems over to our Higher Power, we leave them with Him and move as He directs. If we take the problems back, we are like a child who has given his or her parent a broken toy to fix, but snatches it back before the parent can make the repair.
If we had been able to fix our problems ourselves, our way, we would not be in this program. Since we know we need help, let's be willing to let go and try God's way.
May I let go of my problems so that You may direct my life.
By admitting that we are unable to manage our own lives, we become ready to let a Higher Power take over. Before we can fully benefit from God's direction, we must let go completely of the idea that we are in control.
We say that we are grateful compulsive overeaters, because if it had not been for our inability to control what we ate and the resulting turmoil in our lives, we might never have realized our need to "let go and let God."
When we turn our problems over to our Higher Power, we leave them with Him and move as He directs. If we take the problems back, we are like a child who has given his or her parent a broken toy to fix, but snatches it back before the parent can make the repair.
If we had been able to fix our problems ourselves, our way, we would not be in this program. Since we know we need help, let's be willing to let go and try God's way.
May I let go of my problems so that You may direct my life.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L.
©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.
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The Language of Letting Go
Considering Commitment
Pay attention to your commitments.
While many of us fear committing, it's good to weigh the cost of any commitment we are considering. We need to feel consistently positive that it's an appropriate commitment for us.
Many of us have a history of jumping -- leaping headfirst -- into commitments without weighing the cost and the possible consequences of that particular commitment. When we get in, we find that we do not really want to commit and feel trapped.
Some of us may become afraid of losing out on a particular opportunity if we don't commit. It is true that we will lose out on certain opportunities if we are unwilling to commit. We still need to weigh the commitment. We still need to become clear about whether that commitment seems right for us. If it isn't, we need to be direct and honest with others and ourselves.
Be patient. Do some soul searching. Wait for a clear answer. We need to make our commitments not in urgency or panic but in quiet confidence that what we are committing to is right for us.
If something within says no, find the courage to trust that voice.
This is not our last chance. It is not the only opportunity we'll ever have. Don't panic. We don't have to commit to what isn't right for us, even if we try to tell ourselves it should be right for us and we should commit.
Often, we can trust our intuitive sense more than we can trust our intellect about commitments.
In the excitement of making a commitment and beginning, we may overlook the realities of the middle. That is what we need to consider.
We don't have to commit out of urgency, impulsivity, or fear. We are entitled to ask, Will this be good for me? We are entitled to ask if this commitment feels right.
Today, God, guide me in making my commitments. Help me say yes to what is in my highest good, and no to what isn't. I will give serious consideration before I commit myself to any activity or person. I will take the time to consider if the commitment is really what I want.
Pay attention to your commitments.
While many of us fear committing, it's good to weigh the cost of any commitment we are considering. We need to feel consistently positive that it's an appropriate commitment for us.
Many of us have a history of jumping -- leaping headfirst -- into commitments without weighing the cost and the possible consequences of that particular commitment. When we get in, we find that we do not really want to commit and feel trapped.
Some of us may become afraid of losing out on a particular opportunity if we don't commit. It is true that we will lose out on certain opportunities if we are unwilling to commit. We still need to weigh the commitment. We still need to become clear about whether that commitment seems right for us. If it isn't, we need to be direct and honest with others and ourselves.
Be patient. Do some soul searching. Wait for a clear answer. We need to make our commitments not in urgency or panic but in quiet confidence that what we are committing to is right for us.
If something within says no, find the courage to trust that voice.
This is not our last chance. It is not the only opportunity we'll ever have. Don't panic. We don't have to commit to what isn't right for us, even if we try to tell ourselves it should be right for us and we should commit.
Often, we can trust our intuitive sense more than we can trust our intellect about commitments.
In the excitement of making a commitment and beginning, we may overlook the realities of the middle. That is what we need to consider.
We don't have to commit out of urgency, impulsivity, or fear. We are entitled to ask, Will this be good for me? We are entitled to ask if this commitment feels right.
Today, God, guide me in making my commitments. Help me say yes to what is in my highest good, and no to what isn't. I will give serious consideration before I commit myself to any activity or person. I will take the time to consider if the commitment is really what I want.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
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Today's Gift
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall; Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
—Mother Goose
Poor Humpty ended up such a scrambled egg. Maybe that's what comes from sitting too long in one place, choosing neither this way nor that, playing both sides against the middle. Maybe he played too much politics, got too much advice, had too much to think about. When the centipede was asked which leg he first moved when setting out on a stroll, he got those legs all tangled in his mind and couldn't walk at all. It is better to be simply moved by those around us, or by our Higher Power, with faith and love. When our thoughts fail, their hearts, hands, and eyes will show the way.
Do I sometimes decide my fate by refusing to decide?
—Mother Goose
Poor Humpty ended up such a scrambled egg. Maybe that's what comes from sitting too long in one place, choosing neither this way nor that, playing both sides against the middle. Maybe he played too much politics, got too much advice, had too much to think about. When the centipede was asked which leg he first moved when setting out on a stroll, he got those legs all tangled in his mind and couldn't walk at all. It is better to be simply moved by those around us, or by our Higher Power, with faith and love. When our thoughts fail, their hearts, hands, and eyes will show the way.
Do I sometimes decide my fate by refusing to decide?
From Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families
©1985, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
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At first, I resented it when my friends in the program told me to be God or let God.
-- Myrna K.
Who consciously decided to play God? Not me. Not you. But many of us have a terrible time letting God run the world. No matter how much we resolve not to, we take responsibility for things we can't control. That's what playing God is, and that's what a lot of us have practiced for a long, long time. Playing God is not only hard work, it's also a good way to ruin relationships. People just don't like to be around would-be mortal "gods" whose clay feet are all too visible. Our good intentions don't make people feel less defensive about us.
Letting go isn't easy. Especially if we confuse letting go with not caring. Of course we care. But that does not and must not mean we are responsible. Can we care enough to let others make their own mistakes, earn their own victories, and take responsibility for their own lives? Not to do so, no matter how we may feel about it, breeds dependency in both them and us.
We must care enough to let them be.
Today, I will be aware that "doing for" someone else is also "doing to" him or her.
You are reading from the book:
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