Recovery Meditations: November 8th

~ DROWNING TROUBLES ~

You can't drown your troubles,
because trouble can swim.

Margaret Millar


My feelings have always been too large for me to handle alone. Whenever I felt troubled or had a problem too big to handle, I always turned to my friend and comforter...FOOD. This friend and I went everywhere together and with it, I figured that I could handle anything thrown at me. This friend made me feel good. I was drowning my troubles one by one.

Then someone said to me, "Don't you know that eating too much, drinking too much or even working too much won't solve your problems! Troubles usually reproduce themselves rapidly when you try to drown them."

I really didn't understand what she was trying to tell me but kept the thought tucked inside my hat. My friend food and I just kept batting these troubles deeper and deeper in my sea of tears, but sure enough, they would bounce right back up at me again later only twice as bad. What was happening? I was using my friend more each time and I began to hate it. Why was food trying to hurt me? I really thought it was my friend.

Finally, after many bruises, I realized what that person was trying to tell me. She was right. My troubles were swimming and I was drowning. I was using one of my addictions to try and fight the others, and was only going in circles. I was caught in a tidal wave and unable to get out alone. Each of my other addictions were throwing me back to my primary addiction of compulsive eating...my former friend, FOOD.

But where could I go? What could I do? The wonderful person who warned me led me to my recovery meeting and stayed with me. She helped me to find a Higher Power who was always there to help. I learned to share my experiences with my recovery family of choice. I got a wonderful sponsor who also knew me as well as I know myself. Together we looked at all the problems and troubles of the past and they weren't so heavy any more. I moved out of the deep sea that I couldn't swim in, and on dryer, more sturdy ground. What a relief!

One Day at a Time . . .
I remember that my troubles are strong and can drown me in the sea of food if I try to handle them alone. Troubles may be able to swim strongly, but they are NO MATCH for me, my Higher Power, my sponsor and Program. Together, we are strong, but alone we are weak. Together we can do what we can never do alone.

~ Jeanette ~

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 We start out thinking food is a friend, and it turns out to be an enemy, as any other addiction.  A little extra turns into a series of binges that make us physically & spiritually sick.  We create more problems than we cure by drowning our troubles in addictive behavior!

I had to be brought to my knees before I saw what excess food was really doing to me.......killing me slowly, bite by bite.  I was trying to anesthetize myself from pain, and wound up feeling nothing; no pain AND no joy.

Today, I am not alone with my disease of addiction. Today I have a support system that understands me, and can help me stay the course.  When I look to other addictive behaviors to replace compulsive overeating, I can now recognize how destructive that thinking truly IS.  Shopping, drinking, gambling, eating...........none of those behaviors are going to help me cope with life.  Only my recovery program & my Higher Power can do THAT!