Saturday, April 28, 2012

Recovery Meditations: April 28th

~ UNITY ~

Separate needs are weak and easily broken;
but bound together they are strong and hard to tear apart.

The Midrash, Judaic Text



For most of my life before coming into the program, I was a bit of a loner. I never had a lot of friends, perhaps because of my feelings of inadequacy, and was never good at sports, especially team sports. So I buried myself a lot in books, in academic achievements at which I excelled, mainly because I could do that on my own. I lived in a fantasy world where a knight in shining armor would come and rescue me, and my life would then be perfect. I had never even had a serious long-term relationship until I met my first husband, so it was hardly surprising that I made a bad choice and after having three children and much heartache, got divorced.

When I first came into program, it was the first time I had ever felt part of a big group, and most importantly they all spoke my language. Their experiences were my experiences. These wonderful people became my family. There was, and still is, for me an incredible sense of belonging in the fellowship. No longer do I have to brave it on my own as there will always be someone on the other end of the line or in a meeting who can identify and share with me what I am going through. The strength that I feel when I come into the meeting rooms or speak to a fellow member on the phone is a powerful sustaining force for me that has helped me through countless difficult situations and continues to do so.

One Day at a Time . . .
I only need to reach out and join hands with others in the fellowship to gain the strength to do things I could never do before. It is only with their help, support and love that I am fully able to recover.

~ Sharon ~

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When I start shutting down and isolating.............I am feeling a sense of ABSOLUTE SEPARATENESS, which means that I have forgotten WHO I AM: I have forgotten my BEING, my PRESENCE, my LIGHT......who I am at the CORE. I have entangled myself up with compulsive THINKING, and considering myself to be a BODY instead of a SOUL. Our disease is one of spiritual impoverishment...........the excess food intake has nothing to do with FOOD, but everything TO do with trying to fill up the void that exists because we've lost our SPIRIT.

We are working the Steps and abstaining from overeating so we can tune back INTO who we really are. When we DO, the desire to overeat subsides as we realize we are all part of one another......all joined together in humanity. The obsession with our BODY dwindles as we begin to concentrate on our SOUL instead.

Try this: close your eyes and concentrate on your hands. Feel the ENERGY coursing thru them? It can be a tingling sensation.........feel the LIFE in them?

THAT is the Essence of who you really ARE........not the size of your body or the thought structure in your MIND that tells you to eat, or tells you how useless you are, or insists you are inferior or 'less than.'

We are not our bodies. We are not alone in the world. When we feel that ABSOLUTE SEPARATENESS, we KNOW we've lost the sense of who we really ARE, and it's time to find our true SELF once again.



For today, I will focus on my spiritual 'body' instead of my physical body.  May God guide me to SEE myself as I truly AM.
 

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