Each Day a New Beginning: February 13th

I have sacrificed everything in my life that I consider precious in order to advance the political career of my husband.
  —Pat Nixon

Putting another person's needs first is what most of us were trained to do when growing up. We were seldom encouraged to embark on an individual course, and years of taking a back seat taught us that our hopes mattered little.

Now, for some of us, the future looks like a blank wall. It is time to carve out a plan for ourselves, yet how do we decide where we want to go? And how do we get there? The program says, "Live one day at a time." Our friends say, "Take one step at a time."

We have chosen to do something about the circumstances we found ourselves in, or we wouldn't be reading these words. We can stop for a moment and reflect on the many changes thus far. We are already on our way. We have taken a number of necessary steps. What an exciting adventure we have embarked upon! And we will be helped all along the way.

We can trust our inner yearnings, the ones we may have stifled in times past. We can realize our hearts' pure desires, if we seek guidance.

My time has come. I can mold my future. I will take each day, each experience, and let it draw me to the next important step.

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.

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I can relate to Pat Nixon..........I did the same thing for my ex husband of 22 years; I put MYSELF on the back burner to help HIM advance his career.

I ended the marriage in 2002 and began the journey of recovery............to find my SELF under the rubble. I found myself at 44 years old, with no job, no career, no potential to earn money, fat, drunk and smoking a pack a day.  But I was finally FREE and making decisions for MYSELF and my kids! I felt great and I didn't care how the future played out. I would MAKE it work, some how, some way.............because a 125 lb burden had been removed from my soul! HIM!

Here I am, 11 years later, re married to my soul mate, running a successful business, 100 lbs lighter, smoke free & sober, recovering beautifully, one day at a time.  While I don't have the financial freedom I did when I was married the first time, I have all the love in the world.  And THAT is what life is about.  When I am on my death bed and breathing my last breath, I will not be making a check list of all the toys I own.  I will, however, be looking back at all the LOVE I gave and received.
I will have no major regrets, nothing to feel shame about, and no amends waiting to be made.

THAT, in my opinion, is proof of a life well lived.

For today, I am grateful for the awakening I've experienced and the chutzpah I had to make the changes I needed to make to get my life, and my SPIRIT, back on track.