A woman who has no way of expressing herself and of realizing herself as a full human has nothing else to turn to but the owning of material things.
—Enriqueta Longeaux y Vasquez
Each of us struggling with these Twelve Steps is finding self-expression and self-definition. Introspection, coupled with self-revelation through sharing with others, affords us the awareness of how like others we are. How human we are. And what we receive from others who respond to our vulnerability diminishes our need for "things" to fill our lives.
The love that we receive freely from a trusting, caring friend or group fills up the empty places in our souls, the places we used to try filling up with alcohol or cookies or sex. New clothes maybe even a new home or a different job served their terms as void fillers too. Nothing succeeded for long, and then the program found us.
The program is the filler for all times. Of this we can be certain. Time will alleviate any doubts we may have. All that is asked of us is openness, honesty, and attention to others' needs as well as our own.
I can share our likenesses and relish whatever differences may surface. The chain of friendship I've created makes me the proud owner of my wholeness. I am a succeeding woman who is moving forward with courage and self-awareness on this, my road of life.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation
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In recovery circles, looking to fill that inner void with material things or a change of environment is known as taking a "geographical cure." After moving out of my parents' home as a young woman, I moved another 22 times. Things would be 'better' in Florida, or New York, or Connecticut, or Colorado, or Timbuktu. Trouble was, I took myself with me wherever I went. If I didn't like me, moving away wasn't likely to change that fact.
I found myself in a place where I had every material thing money could buy. I traveled, staying in opulent hotels in exotic locations. I had a home with furnishings that my friends compared to the Palace of Versailles. I drove a Range Rover & had a closet filled with designer clothing & shoes.
But I still wasn't happy or whole as a human being. "Stuff" can never fill a hole in a person's soul caused by ignorance of who she really IS at the core. The program opened my eyes, to some degree, and helped me to see myself as more than a Body or a House or a collection of Stuff. The program taught me to reach within myself to locate my Soul, instead.
A spiritual awakening starts out as a seedling which grows into a mighty oak, with proper nurturing & care. As it develops, the need for material 'things' & drugs begin to dissipate. The obsession lessens as the desire for spiritual growth increases.
For today, I will use God and my program as the 'filler' for the empty space in my Soul.
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