Recovery Meditations: April 16th

PAIN

“Your pain is the breaking of the shell
that encloses your understanding.”
Kahlil Gibran


How many of us in recovery thought we were in pain before seeking help, only to find that recovery itself was even more painful? I know that is how my progress in Twelve Step recovery from compulsive eating has been. Fortunately, pain in recovery doesn’t break my spirit the way pain did before I started working the Twelve Steps. As I work my recovery, the walls that I had built for protection around my inner-spirit are being slowly broken down and moved away.

This changing and renewing of my inner-self is extremely painful at times. If I didn’t have the tools of the program, (such as sponsorship, a food plan, working the Steps, and conscious contact with my Higher Power) there would be no understanding born out of my pain. Before recovery, the pain would start to fill my inner-shell with self-pity, self-disgust and despair. Now when the pain comes to me, I’ve slowly learned to embrace it and hold it close to my heart. This new pain means that I will be shown by my Higher Power the insight and understanding needed for me to continue this daily recovery process. Does this mean I am filled with joy as I see the pain coming? Absolutely not! This means that I now have a power greater than myself to shield me from the pain that would break me. After feeling the pain needed to give me understanding, I am given healing to continue my journey.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will seek to feel and face the pain on this journey, knowing that understanding and healing will follow through my Higher Power's hand.

~ Ohitika

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Pain cannot be avoided at all costs! Yes, the pain of recovery is very real, but it is not the same soul-debilitating pain that comes with compulsive overeating; it doesn't break my spirit, it strengthens it.  Working the Steps and following an abstinent food plan empowers me!

Through abstinence, I allow the food fog to lift, which shows me reality.  It shows me that I have the power to change my life and my twisted thinking patterns, with help & guidance from my Higher Power.  I learn that I am able to live with integrity & principles, instead of excess and hiding out.  When I isolate myself, I stay sick. When I reach out & give back, sharing my struggles & triumphs is when I thrive.

For today, I will not hold onto my pain like a trophy, feeling self-pity, disgust & despair. For today, I will use my pain as a learning experience & as a way to grow.

For today, I seek healing through recovery.