The Language of Letting Go: April 10th

Using Others to Stop Our Pain

Our happiness is not a present someone else holds in his or her hands. Our well-being is not held by another to be given or withheld at whim. If we reach out and try to force someone to give us what we believe he or she holds, we will be disappointed. We will discover that it is an illusion. The person didn't hold it. He or she never shall. That beautifully wrapped box with the ribbon on it that we believed contained our happiness that someone was holding - it's an illusion!

In those moments when we are trying to reach out and force someone to stop our pain and create our joy, if we can find the courage to stop flailing about and instead stand still and deal with our issues, we will find our happiness.

Yes, it is true that if someone steps on our foot, he or she is hurting us and therefore holds the power to stop our pain by removing his or her foot. But the pain is still ours. And so is the responsibility to tell someone to stop stepping on our feet.

Healing will come when we're aware of how we attempt to use others to stop our pain and create our happiness. We will heal from the past. We will receive insights that can change the course of our relationships.

We will see that, all along, our happiness and our well-being have been in our hands. We have held that box. The contents are ours for the opening.

God, help me remember that I hold the key to my own happiness. Give me the courage to stand still and deal with my own feelings. Give me the insights I need to improve my relationships. Help me stop doing the codependent dance and start doing the dance of recovery.

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For many years I've tried to find my own happiness from others. If HE would do THIS, THEN I would be happy!  If SHE would do THAT, THEN my life would be just fine!

Looking for happiness from others IS an illusion! One that leaves me feeling disappointed when it doesn't come.

I hold the power within myself to be happy. Appreciating the small things in life is the first step to finding joy & contentment. Those feelings don't come from buying things, eating excess food, drinking to excess..........looking for happiness from external sources only keeps that endless search alive, convincing me it's out there SOMEWHERE, I just can't FIND it.

It's within ME, and it's driven by God. Surrendering my life to Him enables me to see the beauty everywhere. To view others in the white light of innocence and love; to see their GOOD instead of their BAD.  When I feel proud of myself for my good behavior, I am able to view the whole world in a better light.

For today, I will not seek approval or acceptance from others, but from myself and God.  If someone is stepping on my foot, I pray God gives me the courage to ask them to remove it!

For today, I pray to find joy in simple pleasures; a flower blooming, a child laughing, not too much traffic on the commute..........the simple things give me great pleasure!