For Today: January 29th

To be nobody but myself, in a world which is doing its best night and day to make me everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting.

E.E. Cummings

In OA, I am getting to know myself.  I no longer have to borrow from other people a way of thinking, looking or being.  I am accepted for what I am, and in turn I can accept myself.  I can be spontaneous.  I can reach out and be close to others.  Even when I am alone, if I am in touch with myself, I am not lonely.

To have the courage to be me, to accept myself without glossing over the truth: these are the goals toward which this program is directing me.

For Today:  In accepting myself as I am, I accept God’s will for me today.  Only through self-acceptance am I able to change.

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 The definition of truth is to see myself as I actually AM.  If there is something that needs to change, then I do what I have to do to make those changes.  I can't do that if I don't review my actions with truth and honesty, though, can I?

One of the most important things I've learned in OA is the importance of truth.  Before OA, I stuffed all of my emotions back..........either with food or with denial.  "Oh, it's not THAT bad" "Oh, I'm not taking in THAT many calories" "Oh, it doesn't matter that I didn't move a muscle today, I'll work out tomorrow."

I was always willing to commit to a healthy lifestyle "On Monday" and, of course, Monday never came.  When I saw 225 lbs on the scale, the gig was UP and 'Monday' had arrived on a Tuesday.  I could deny the truth NO longer.

Nowadays, I am willing to see myself for who I truly AM.  I am a child of God, first and foremost, and I have a responsibility to love myself, no matter what.  The Steps help me behave myself in a commendable way......and to stop abusing my body for its 'imperfections.'  I will never be 'perfect' in this life, nor do I strive to be.

I DO strive to be the best I possibly CAN be, though.  I am a work in progress and I like myself today.  Liking myself, and accepting myself, is the key to abstinence.  When I feel like I DESERVE to treat myself with kindness and compassion, I DO.

For today, I am free to be ME.