Many strokes overthrow the tallest oaks.
John Lyly
If I slip, I will try again. Practice makes perfect, and I expect to practice abstinence until I “get it.” What is the alternative?
It’s an encouraging sign to be able to give myself a chance to go back and do things differently, without judgment or self-condemnation. For example, did I really hear-----and act upon-----program suggestions and slogans such as “half measures availed us nothing”; “willing to go to any lengths”; “keep it simple”; “one day at a time”? Whether I am struggling with abstinence or personality defects, those are words on which I can rely.
For Today: I will not waste time blaming myself, but instead, try again.
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When I struggle, I have to ask myself, honestly, WHY am I struggling? What's bothering me that I'm trying to stuff BACK with food? Sometimes it seems to be nothing in particular, except that I 'feel like' eating something that is not part of my food plan.
And that's where a big part of the struggle lies: Am I willing to risk my food sobriety for something, just this 'once', that tastes good? Am I willing to risk 'just this once' turning into the hell of compulsive overeating, where the disease draws me back into its grip?
Something doesn't have to be 'bothering' me for me to want to eat off plan foods. Normally, something IS bothering me.......like anger, or frustration, or being made to feel stupid.......those are the emotional factors that drive me to want to overeat. But, as a compulsive overeater, I have to accept the fact that there are LOTS of times I'm going to 'feel like' overeating no matter WHAT.
For today, I choose to keep my food plan of abstinence #1 on my priority list. For today, whether I 'feel like' overeating or not, and regardless of WHY, I will stay true to my program.
For today, I choose to keep my food plan of abstinence #1 on my priority list. For today, whether I 'feel like' overeating or not, and regardless of WHY, I will stay true to my program.
Thanks for the comment my friend. I know you mean well with your wishes for Luck.........and here is my response:
ReplyDelete"Luck" has absolutely NOTHING to do with abstinence or commitment. "Luck" suggests I need to rely on 'willpower' to make it. "Willpower" is not a word a COE should have in his/her vocabulary, because we've proven to ourselves over & over again that we have NONE.
I don't need "good luck" with my journey........what I DO need is my Higher Power, my programs, and my food plan of abstinence. I need to stick to these programs, whether I feel like it or not, whether a special event crops up, or whether I'm bored out of my mind or not. THIS is commitment, THIS is abstinence, THIS is the road a COE has to travel in order to keep her program intact. Using the tools of OA and the support that we find in the fellowship, together with the pre-determined food plan, is the way OUT of the hell of compulsive overeating.
I'll take some "good luck" with me next time I go play Roulette. In the meantime, I'll rely on my programs to keep me on track!