We suffer primarily not from our vices or our weaknesses, but from our illusions. We are haunted, not by reality, but by those images we have put in place of reality.
Daniel J. Boorstin
My life didn’t match life as it was shown in movies, books, on TV. So I thought something was wrong and I had to fix it. That delusion led me to demoralization and despair.
Today, with OA’s steps of recovery, I know illusions are an escape from reality and the price I pay for that escape is my illness. Reality is what is. Today, I do not have the illusion that I am the center of the universe, that I should try to make everyone love me, that my opinions are facts. My illusions are being replaced with enlightenment, my resentment with serenity, my anger with love.
For Today: Staying in the real world is far less painful than hiding in food and fat.
I lived in a fantasy land which I created to escape the pain of real life. My life, of course, never measured UP to the illusion, so I was chronically disappointed. Living with negativity has been my undoing, and my salvation, both at the same time.
Had I not been so negative all the time, I wouldn't have found myself at 225 lbs, I wouldn't have found OA, and I wouldn't have found recovery. So yes, I'm grateful for everything in my life....the good, the bad and the negative.
Today I choose to live in truth and reality. I no longer want to hide out in a fat-suit and bury myself in a mountain of excess food.
Today, I want to live joyous and free, without the burden of obesity weighing me down, physically, emotionally and spiritually.
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