For Today: January 28th

Self trust is the essence of heroism.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

In the years before OA, when I tried to fight my illness with willpower, I could seldom trust myself around food.  As the disease progressed, the opinion I had of my “intestinal fortitude” fell lower and lower.

Self trust is yet another gift of the program that gives me freedom from obsession—and abstinence----one day at a time.  Complete trust in myself is not always possible, but when it comes, self doubts disappear, furtive struggles and fears are gone.  I treat myself with kindness and consideration, and my word to myself is as good as the commitment I make to others.

For Today:   I trust myself to be abstinent.

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In the days before OA, I HAD no trust for myself..........no 'intestinal fortitude' whatsoever, so why bother trying?  A big fat excuse to stay FAT.

And, like they say in AA, an excuse is nothing more than a thin skin stretched over a bald faced lie.


Finding a program of abstinence to follow has been crucial to my recovery.  I don't have a choice; I just follow my food plan with no excuses, no rationalizations, justifications, or 'just this once' statements.  This is how I found abstinence, and this is how I keep abstinence.


When I put abstinence FIRST in my life is when I find serenity.   With  compliance TO my food plan of abstinence,  I find self-trust.


I put in my TIME, and I reap the rewards.


And, like they say in AA, TIME = Things I Must Earn.


If I don't put in my time staying compliant to a food plan, I earn nothing. Nothing but self-doubt and negativity for myself and my behavior.


I may WANT things to happen on MY timetable, but things DO happen on God's timetable.  When I am ready to reap the benefits of my commitment, I will enjoy its rewards.


For today, I trust myself, and love myself, enough to stay committed to my program.