For Today: January 19th

I have never seen a person grow or change in a constructive direction when motivated by guilt, shame and/or hate.

William Goldberg

If you eat too much you’re a glutton. If you weigh too much you won’t be popular with the boys (or girls).  Heaping new guilt upon old, I tried to reform myself.   I dieted, lost weight.  There, now I looked terrific.  But for how long?  And did I like myself any better, inside?

Of all the remedies I tried, only in OA did I feel accepted for what I was, not for what I might become.  Only in OA did I feel my problem was nothing to be ashamed of.  Only in OA was I able to lose the weight and keep it off.  Without guilt, without shame, without self-hate.

For Today:  I let no one---including myself---try to shame me into changing something about myself I wish were different.  I pray to be relieved of guilt and self-hate, and to accept and like myself exactly as I am.  That is where I can begin to change.

********************************************************************

I was never able to keep weight off permanently because I didn't do the internal work required to love myself on the inside.  Therefore, my sub-conscience always led me back to my comfort zone: a fat suit of armor to protect me.

It wasn't until I found OA that I learned how to change, from the inside out.  My body size was doomed to obesity until I became ready to address my soul instead of my appearance.

Losing weight isn't tied into food consumption as much as I thought. I have to lighten my emotional & psychological burdens before my body can lighten its load.  the 12 steps give me a blueprint to follow to do just that.

When I change my way of thinking, only then am I willing to take the journey from a tripod perspective: emotional, physical and spiritual.  As long as I address my weight from a physical standpoint only, I am destined to stay on the diet roller-coaster for life.

For today, I am grateful to have a program that teaches me how to go about changing, from the inside out, one day at a time.