For Today: January 18th

The best way out is always through.

Robert Frost

I used to take the long way around, avoiding problems, escaping feelings.  In OA I heard it called the easier, softer way.  But is my way really easier?  No!  It is the hard and painful, life-of-hell way.

I am grateful for the awareness of old patterns.  Today I count on God’s help to remove those faults I expose when I take the honest way out of my difficulties.

For Today:  Practice of steps four through nine prepares me for facing rather than trying to escape my problems.

******************************************************

Trying to live the 'softer, easier' way IS a life of hell! I thought if I allowed myself to eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted it, life would be grand! I'd be avoiding difficult decisions, I'd be pandering to my every whim, and satisfying my every need.

Boy was I WRONG!  I had things bass-ackwards!

There is satisfaction in self-discipline. There is self-love in saying No Thank You to foods that harm my body. 

Humility comes with honesty. I can't eat that bowl of ice cream and still feel terrific about myself and my decision. The food issues are stronger than I am, so when I allow the disordered eating to take hold of me, IT runs my LIFE.

When I abstain from harmful eating patterns, I am being honest with myself. When I examine my behaviors & work on changing them, I am treating myself with loving compassion & understanding.  The self-hate fades into the background as self-LOVE takes over.

And, isn't that what life is all about? Loving ourselves? Doing things to increase that love instead of things to make us feel like losers? 

When I have an abstinent day, I feel GOOD.  I go to sleep feeling proud of myself and my behavior, and I wake up the next morning refreshed and grateful.  

If I fall off plan and overindulge, I go to sleep feeling TERRIBLE, bloated & hopeless.  I wake up the next morning feeling half-dead and wanting to crawl back under the covers and stay there.

THIS is why I stay abstinent: So I can feel HOPE again. So I can feel HAPPY. So I can feel PROUD of myself and ENERGIZED to live my life without food being the focus OF it.

Food fuels my body; God fuels my soul.

For today, I look forward to an abstinent day and to feeling GOOD about ME!