For Today: December 4th

We are healed of suffering only by experiencing it to the full.

Marcel Proust

When I’m hurting, I look for distraction: go here, run there and keep on running until there is nowhere to go.  Whatever I use as an escape---whether it’s hyperactivity or retreat into isolation and compulsive overeating---it takes what it takes to be brought to my knees, to experience whatever it is I’m avoiding, to turn my will over to my Higher Power and, in an instant, be free.  I walk away feeling light and joyful, and I wonder why I fought so hard.

Will I do the same thing next time?  Possibly.  But each experience confirms what I have learned:  my pain may last a minute, an hour, a week or a month---but allowing myself to feel it is relief in itself, and the beginning of freedom.

For Today:  Avoidance of suffering is natural, but as a compulsive overeater I am alert to my tendency to try to escape what most people accept as part of living.

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Being a compulsive overeater means that I have quite a few behavioral patterns that need changing…..not just the overeating.  What most people accept as a normal part of life, I have a tendency to over-dramatize, internalize, and obsess over.

OCD……….obsessive/compulsive disorder…………….means a whole lot MORE than just overeating.  For many  years, I thought that 'all' I had to do was stop eating so darn much, and all my problems would be solved.  Little did I realize that I overate because I was unhappy with myself.  Consuming excess food was only one symptom of a much larger issue.

If I am to get a grip on my disease, I must accept the things I cannot change and learn how to deal with the unpleasantries of life. Period.

If I reach for food or booze as a means of coping with my life, I doom myself to a lifetime of obesity & alcoholism.

The only way OUT of an issue is THROUGH it, one day at a time.