For Today: December 30th

To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing.

Mark Twain

How many times did I swear off, make promises and resolutions to stop overeating?  Sometimes I followed through with a diet, and sometimes I didn’t even start.  But, always, the promises—and the diets---were fuel for the compulsion.

It took Overeaters Anonymous to put into words what all my experience should have told me:  that I was powerless over compulsive overeating and no promise, no temporary submission to restricted eating would relieve me of my food obsession.  In OA I was given a suggested program of recovery and all that was asked of me in return was that I have a desire to stop.

For Today:  I will allow no one, including myself, to pressure me into promising to lose weight.

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Once I surrendered my powerlessness over food, I agreed, finally, to stick to a pre-determined food plan of abstinence. I recognized the fact that food had an unnatural hold over me, and would continue to, for life.  I am a compulsive overeater.  Once I accepted that fact, only then was I able to admit defeat.

There is freedom in surrender; there is freedom in recognizing defeat.......that I cannot do this alone, that I must rely on God for support.  

The diets had to stop.  The insanity had to stop. I was killing myself with yo yo dieting and I wanted to find a better way desperately.  I had to........there was no easy way.

Once I stopped dieting, I started living.

I no longer obsess over the scale; I no longer obsess over what to eat/not eat.  I no longer continually ask myself the 'should I/shouldn't I' question about trigger foods.......and subsequently, I have been released from the burdens of compulsion.

For today, I am grateful for this wonderful program......for opening my mind to new ideas.........for being alive!