For Today: October 10th

You never know what is enough until you know what is more than enough.

William Blake

I have had my lesson in excess.  Eating more than enough to satisfy emotional longing became a compulsion---cunning, baffling, powerful and incurable.

Today I find great comfort in knowing and accepting my limits, in saying, “Yes, I have had enough for today.”  Because I am unable to discipline myself with food, I depend on a Power greater than myself to guide me; for this I maintain conscious contact with God as I understand God, and I share my experience with others who suffer as I do.

For Today:  In prayer and meditation, and in communication with other compulsive overeaters, I find the ability to distinguish enough from surfeit, in food as in other things.

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When it comes to trigger foods, there is NO such thing as 'enough' nor is 'self-discipline' applicable.   If I was able to discipline myself in that area, I wouldn't BE a compulsive overeater nor would I need a 12 Step program to keep myself balanced.

"Balance" does not come naturally to the compulsive overeating mind.  Not only where food is concerned, but in many other areas of life.  Excess is our norm; whether we're shopping, eating, or trying to live life.  We are extremists in every sense of the word.  We've even watched our over-eating behaviors turn into under-eating/starvation behaviors...........we are never naturally inclined to do ANYTHING 'in moderation.'

Before I found OA, I was either dieting or having binges......there was no in-between.  I would psyche myself up to go on yet another diet, behave myself for a while on said diet, then return to my old ways after ditching the restrictive rules the new diet imposed.

With abstinence, I stick to a pre determined food plan where there is NO room for manipulation.  I am able to determine when enough IS enough, push my plate away, knowing that tomorrow, I will again be able to eat 6 healthy, balanced meals throughout the day.  There is no need to panic where food is concerned, worrying over the fact that the new diet starts on Monday, so I'd better stuff myself senseless TODAY.

Those days are over with, thank God, and I have a program to follow that guides and directs me, even when I may not be in the mood to BE directed or guided.  I NEED that guidance, whether I want it or not, and I rely on IT instead of ME.

After all, look where my control-freakishness has gotten me: to the very depths of despair and misery.

For today, I will pray for the guidance to say Enough when my stomach is full.  For today, I will avoid junk food because I do not need it to function.