For Today: March 2nd

For Today: March 2^nd

He prayeth best, who loveth best

All things both great & small

For the dear God who loveth us

He made and loveth all.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Prayer is the language of love. Though I may feel frustrated or angry, I reach out in an attempt to give up my will for God’s, my pride for humility. Prayer is recognizing health qualities as well as defects.   Prayer is the power ready to be tapped by an open mind. Prayer turns my thoughts toward, instead of against me, showing me that I want to change.

I pray to see those defects and self-deceptions that keep me from being spiritually whole. I pray for the clarity to see honestly, to be rid of illusions.

For Today: A loving heart makes its own prayer, and prayer makes for a loving heart.

 

What is Addiction if not illusion & dishonesty? If I were able to deal with life on life’s terms, I never would 

 have developed addictions as coping mechanisms! For an addict to say he’s not in Denial is self-deception. 

Honesty leads to serenity & patience issues from it; grief, anger & fear are resolved in its embrace, while trust & faith are nourished by serenity, and love thrives in its presence. 

 Once I opened my eyes and saw myself for who I really was, I didn’t like the person looking back at me in the mirror. It wasn’t just my weight that I disliked; it was my behavior, how I treated others, my self-centeredness, my desire for instant gratification consumed me. And I, in turn, consumed everything I could get my hands on.  Anesthetizing myself from Pain by practicing my addictions also anesthetized me from Joy. I wound up existing instead of living. I was a slave to whatever I could put into my mouth to stuff back the emotions I was afraid to Feel. 

Once I decided to become Abstinent, I traded Denial for Reality. Reality wasn’t  *and isn’t* always a pleasant place to be, but for me, it’s a far better place to be than living with Addictions chaining me down & holding me captive.  A program of continued restricted food intake, or Abstinence, forces me to deal with Reality & to discard that fantasy-land I dwelled in for so long. My fantasy-land was a place where I felt no pain, everything & everybody was perfect, I was loved completely just for being ME, without having to give an ounce of myself in return. It was a place where nothing bad could ever touch me; I was immune from sadness & grief.

Reality isn’t like that at all. But, one day at a time, I am carving out my Reality & it’s based on integrity, kindness & service to others. When I stay based in Reality, I don’t feel the need to consume excessive amounts of food

For so many years, I thought it was my Body that needed changing when in fact it was my Soul.

Today, .  I know that I must give unconditional love in order to receive it, to stay Abstinent in order to thrive, to Feel pain & grief in order to appreciate Serenity & Joy.

For Today, I pray that I may keep pouring out what I receive. I pray that I may keep the stream clear & flowing.