For Today: March 27th

For Today: March 27^th

We feel and weigh soon enough what we suffer from others; but how much others suffer from us, of this we take no heed.

Thomas a Kempis

Do I have two sets of rules: one for me, another for you? A double standard allows me to rationalize and excuse my behavior. Other people’s rules---well, they ought to know better. People know how sensitive I am, how hurt I’ll be.

When I use others to vent my misery, I am acting in the same sick way I did when I was practicing my compulsion. Those who love me unconditionally will forgive me, but I do myself no favors by whitewashing the matter and letting the real problem go unattended. The outlook for recovery begins to brighten when I can say, “If I make allowances for myself, I will also make allowances for you.” With progress toward sanity and balance, each of us can treat the other as we want to be treated.

For Today: When I start to rationalize some shady behavior, I ask myself, “If someone else did this, would I make the same excuse?”

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Total honesty is at the core of my problems; am I willing to be honest at all times? It’s so easy to justify my own behaviors….and to condemn others for exhibiting the very behavior I dislike in myself!

This is a character defect I can work on daily.  I deserve no better treatment from others than I display towards them.

To judge others, even silently, is to take a step back in my own program. I ask God to show me the innocence in others rather than the ugliness. I can say I don’t like someone’s behavior, but that doesn’t mean they are ‘bad’ people. Just like I’ve always told my children: “I love YOU, it’s your behavior I’m not crazy about.”  That is separating the person from the behavior & recognizing the difference.

Being quick to judge, quick to complain, and quick to condemn is the part of my make-up I work to change. I strive to dwell in the positive; to find things to enjoy about others rather than to condemn; to use praise instead of scorn; to find things to SING about instead of to mourn.

For today, I ask God’s help & guidance in working an effective Step 6: 

Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

I cannot expect God to remove these defects of character if I MYSELF do not want them removed or I am honestly unwilling to ditch the behaviors. I have to WANT it, and only THEN can God see fit to remove my defects.