For Today: March 26th

For Today: March 26^th

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear—not absence of fear.
Mark Twain

As a small child I was afraid of the dark. I outgrew that particular fear, but not the underlying reason for it: fear of the unknown. As exciting as new ideas, new challenges may be, there’s always that hesitation to jump in.

Sometimes it’s very hard to overcome the fear. It takes courage to do a fourth step inventory, to look at and admit my worst faults, to confide in another human being, to make amends. I stall for time, putting aside what I’m afraid to do, trying to muster my courage.

But in the end, I do it. I dare to push past the fear because I want what the AA founders promise, and because I believe them when they say that “half measures availed us nothing.”

For Today: There are things I’m still afraid of and perhaps will always be afraid of, but I have overcome fear before and will again.

Fear knocked at the door;

Faith answered;

No one was there.

I was able to dramatically reduce my fears by having faith in God & by putting my life into His hands.  Where once upon a time, fear led me around by a leash & paralyzed me, now I have the willingness to get out there and DO things; put my fear on the back burner & go forward ANYWAY.

I was fearful of being thin…what would it mean? How would my life change? How would I cope without excess food? How would I survive? Those fears trapped me inside an obese body frame for most of my life.

But then I realized something. My quest to escape fear was the factor that was ruining my life!

My quest to escape pain by eating to excess was CAUSING me more pain than it was curing!

That’s when I knew the  excess food could no longer soothe me. I had to find comfort elsewhere, and I had to learn to deal with discomfort as well. My feelings WON’T kill me, but excess food WILL.

By eating to excess to prevent myself from feeling pain, I also prevented myself from feeling joy.

I prevented myself from FEELING.

I was eating to excess to Numb myself from  a Life I didn’t know how to LIVE.

I was so wrapped up in being a Foodie, I neglected to learn how to live a normal lifestyle.

My addiction had turned against me, as all addictions eventually DO, and I knew it was time for a big change.

Nowadays, I don’t have to control the world. I can let go & let God direct my life and as a result, my life is SO rich, SO full, and SO beautiful.

One day at a time, I strive to keep fear away by having Faith.