For Today: December 31st

The means by which certain pleasures are gained bring pains many times greater than the pleasures.

Epicurus

There is no telling what price I may have to pay for breaking my abstinence “just this once.”  It could be nothing at all, or a trip back to the pits of compulsive overeating.

But the truth is, I do not have to take that chance.  It is irrational to feel guilty about refusing food and drink I don’t want.  If absolutely pushed to the wall, I can say, “I’m sorry, it doesn’t agree with me.”  Which is all too true.

I have already paid dearly for the “pleasures” of compulsive overeating.  Then, when I could no longer pay the price, I surrendered, admitted my powerlessness and turned myself over to the Power that still directs my life.

For Today:  No holiday dinner, no party, no celebration can persuade me to give up the freedom I enjoy as long as I am abstinent.

*******************************************************************

Amen! No holiday party or dinner, no celebration of any kind can persuade me to give up the FREEDOM I enjoy AS LONG AS I am abstinent.

If I give up that freedom, 'just this once,' there may be no coming back.  Taking that first compulsive bite can lead me off track, and back into the black hole of despair known as compulsive overeating.

If I wake up my taste-buds by feeding them trigger foods, who knows if and when I'll get them back to sleep!

I eat plain and unfussy foods for that very reason: To keep my addiction in remission.

Should I choose to risk it ALL by eating off plan, then I put my addiction back in charge and I squash my freedom like a bug.

For today, I will not take that chance. For today, I will not risk my program for anyONE or anyTHING.  I will not worry about tomorrow, either, and throw myself into a panic worrying about 'never' or 'forever.'

For today, I can do ANYTHING!

For Today: December 30th

To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing.

Mark Twain

How many times did I swear off, make promises and resolutions to stop overeating?  Sometimes I followed through with a diet, and sometimes I didn’t even start.  But, always, the promises—and the diets---were fuel for the compulsion.

It took Overeaters Anonymous to put into words what all my experience should have told me:  that I was powerless over compulsive overeating and no promise, no temporary submission to restricted eating would relieve me of my food obsession.  In OA I was given a suggested program of recovery and all that was asked of me in return was that I have a desire to stop.

For Today:  I will allow no one, including myself, to pressure me into promising to lose weight.

**************************************************************

Once I surrendered my powerlessness over food, I agreed, finally, to stick to a pre-determined food plan of abstinence. I recognized the fact that food had an unnatural hold over me, and would continue to, for life.  I am a compulsive overeater.  Once I accepted that fact, only then was I able to admit defeat.

There is freedom in surrender; there is freedom in recognizing defeat.......that I cannot do this alone, that I must rely on God for support.  

The diets had to stop.  The insanity had to stop. I was killing myself with yo yo dieting and I wanted to find a better way desperately.  I had to........there was no easy way.

Once I stopped dieting, I started living.

I no longer obsess over the scale; I no longer obsess over what to eat/not eat.  I no longer continually ask myself the 'should I/shouldn't I' question about trigger foods.......and subsequently, I have been released from the burdens of compulsion.

For today, I am grateful for this wonderful program......for opening my mind to new ideas.........for being alive!

For Today: December 29th

With the Past as past, I have nothing to do; nor with the Future as future.  I live now and will verify all past history in my own moments.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

As I see and feel this moment, all else in my mind is blocked out.  I am free of the past and the future.  I am living in the now.  Aware of sounds and colors, light and shadow, I look outward from myself—and that is freedom.  I can notice another, listen with energy.  I live life a moment at a time, leaving the moments lived yesterday and those to be lived tomorrow where they belong.

Joy comes from living in the NOW.

For Today:  I free my mind of yesterday’s mistakes and tomorrow’s hopes. I live in this moment.

*****************************************************************

It's tough to live in the moment......to not project worry for tomorrow.  When I surrender my life to God is when I am able to live in the moment and block out everything else from my mind.

Yesterday is gone & tomorrow isn't here yet so all I have is the present!  I feel no need to repeat the mistakes of yesterday or to project them into tomorrow.


For today, I will live in the moments that make up the day & I will allow God to guide me & to keep me in His loving arms.

For Today: December 28th

I love you.  I bless you. I release you to your own indwelling presence of God.

Author unknown

It is nothing less than a complete turnabout that this program brings into being.  It gives me the amazing ability to release the people I love; to detach myself from their pain and turmoil and suffering, and turn them over in love to that same Power within that is directing me.

This act of release, performed daily in a moment of quiet prayer, exerts incredible influence on those I would help.  I say and do only what is necessary to attend to my everyday responsibilities, showing the love I feel and radiating the calmness and peace that come from giving up control.

For Today:  I turn over responsibility for the lives of others to the same Higher Power within each of them that manages my own life.

************************************************************

I have a slight problem with the message here………the part which says, “I say and do only what is necessary to attend to my everyday responsibilities, showing the love I feel and radiating the calmness and peace that come from giving up control.”  My 85 year old mom has been seriously ill, and a patient in a hospital that has been fouling up her care something awful.

I have not been calm in certain instances……….I have not said and done only what was necessary to attend to my everyday responsibilities…………instead, I was a voice for my mother………who was incapable of being a voice for herself.  I raised hell. I filed complaints.  I may have over-reacted, ditched my always calm & cool demeanor…………and I’d do it AGAIN in a New York minute.

I’m not sure that this message applies to all situations at all times….? And, if it does, then this is where OA and I have a disagreement.  I could not, and cannot, and will not, detach myself from my loved ones pain, turmoil and suffering at all times.

When I arrived home from the hospital in the evenings, I prayed for God to care for my folks………..I prayed for God’s will to prevail.  But I worked my butt off to do what I could do………..to control what I could control in the meantime.

I'm not sure I'm even interpreting this OA message correctly. All I DO know is........I am grateful for maintaining my abstinence throughout this holiday season, thanks to this amazing program! One day at a time............all I have to worry about is the next 24 hours, and, for 24 hours, I can do anything!

For Today: December 27th

Life was meant to be lived, and curiosity must be kept alive.  One must never, for whatever reason, turn his back on life.

Eleanor Roosevelt

To be as a child is a great and worthy goal.  Curiosity and enthusiasm are the two outstanding characteristics of children, and the most blessed of humans are those who keep these qualities all their lives.

I live life by going out and exploring it, digging into it just for the pleasure of feeling alive—which is reward enough.

Meeting life head-on has the great virtue of allowing me to see everything, to know in the instant how best to proceed—and then go ahead and do it.  I am here for the purpose of living, which means putting all my God-given faculties to their fullest and best use.

For Today:  I have a program that encourages curiosity and enthusiasm for living; and what I manage to find for myself I share with others.

*********************************************************

December 27, 2011 would have been my 31^st wedding anniversary had I not gotten divorced 8 years ago.

A big part of my food and alcohol addictions were in place as a coping mechanism to deal with an unhappy & unfulfilling  marriage.  When I filed for divorce in 2002, I took a huge step to reclaim my life…….and I made a decision to enjoy it………to dig into life just for the pleasure of feeling alive.

Although I didn’t find abstinence until 2008, I took a few very important & necessary steps that had to be taken first, before I’d be able to ditch the 2 crutches I’d learned to rely on so heavily.  Until I felt safe, I wasn’t able to say goodbye to my ‘old friends’……….food and booze.

So, nowadays, in 2011, my life has changed dramatically because I’ve allowed it to.  I no longer have great amounts of money, prestige or opulence in my life, but instead, I have the things that do matter a whole lot more.  Love, support, an income sufficient to keep me housed, clothed & fed…….and above all, I have myself back.  My joy of spirit, my pleasure in feeling alive, the willingness to meet life head-on instead of cowering back in fear & paralysis, curiosity, enthusiasm,  and most of all, I have the willingness to live an abstinent lifestyle, thanks to God & allowing Him back into my spirit.

For today, may I keep abstinence my #1 priority.  May I recognize the fact that no food on earth is worth risking the joy & peace of mind that is a result of recovery.