A Weight Loss Journey

Lealonnie

Recovery Meditations: May 11th

COURAGE

“The courage of life is often less a dramatic spectacle
than the courage of the final moment;
but it is no less than a magnificent mixture
of triumph and tragedy.”

John F. Kennedy

As a little girl, I often daydreamed of a knight in shining armor who would ride bravely into my life and rescue me from my fears and insecurities. This knight would be fearless; un-phased by fire-breathing dragons, deep dark caves, or howling winds. He would have courage where I had only fear.

The knight never came. I began to look for other rescuers in my friends, rolemodels, teachers, and church. Still I could not find what I sought. My fears continued to scream in my soul ... and I felt so weak. I turned to food in an attempt to silence the monsters in my belly.

Sometimes my fear and hopelessness were so desperate that I almost ended my life – yet something inside of myself stopped me from doing so. Something inside of me clung to life and eventually brought me to The Recovery Group.

In this group of amazing people I immediately noticed the courage they exhibited in confronting the challenges in their lives and in choosing to learn and grow from every failure and every success. I marvel at the courage with which they keep moving towards more and more healing, in spite of their fears.

They have courage in spite of their fears.

The open, honest sharing of dear friends in recovery has taught me that even I had courage all along. Courage is not the absence of fear;
if there were no fear, there’d be no need for courage.

Courage means making the choice to move forward in spite of our fears.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will honor the courage I have. I will thank God for giving me the strength to move forward in spite of fear. I will celebrate the courage I see in my friends and I will encourage them on their journey.

~ Lisa V.

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Each Day a New Beginning

Bad moments, like good ones, tend to be grouped together.
—Edna O'Brien

Rough times may be pouring in on us at the moment, and they may seem unending. Difficulties appear to attract more difficulties, problems with loved ones, problems at work, and problems with our appearance. A negative attitude, something that we all struggle with at times (some of us more than others), is the culprit.

When the good times come, as they always do, they are accompanied by a positive attitude. We do find what we look for.

Our attitude is crucial. It determines our experiences. A trying situation can be tolerated with relative ease when we have a positive, trusting attitude. We forget, generally, that we have an inner source of strength to meet every situation. We forget the simple truth - all is well, at this moment, and at every moment. When the moments feel good, our presence is light, cheery. When the moments are heavy, so are we.

I can turn my day around. I can change the flavor of today's experiences. I can lift my spirits and know all is well.

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Food for Thought

Body Signals

When we were overeating compulsively, our bodies seemed to signal constant craving. Now that we are practicing a sane way of eating, we find that our bodies are more responsive to what we put into them.

We discover that we are more satisfied with small amounts of high quality food than we were with vast quantities of junk. Our bodies function better and we begin to hunger for wholesome, natural food rather than the refined sugars and starches we formerly craved.

Before, we never had enough. Now, we eat slowly and give our bodies time to signal cessation of hunger. We finish a meal feeling replete and energized, rather than overstuffed and sluggish. We wake up refreshed after fewer hours of sleep.

Now we can accept periods of hunger before meals as good, rather than something to be feared and avoided at all costs. There is no law against being hungry at times - it adds to the enjoyment of our meals. As our bodies become healthier, we experience them with greater awareness and pleasure.

Make me responsive to the signals of my body.

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The Language of Letting Go

Perfection

Many of us picked on ourselves unmercifully before recovery. We may also have a tendency to pick on ourselves after we begin recovery.

If I was really recovering, I wouldn't be doing that again . . . I should be further along than I am. These are statements that we indulge in when we're feeling shame. We don't need to treat ourselves that way. There is no benefit.

Remember, shame blocks us. But self-love and acceptance enable us to grow and change. If we truly have done something we feel guilty about, we can correct it with an amend and an attitude of self-acceptance and love.

Even if we slip back to our old, codependent ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving, we do not need to be ashamed. We all regress from time to time. That's how we learn and grow. Relapse, or recycling, is an important and necessary part of recovery. And the way out of recycling is not by shaming ourselves. That leads us deeper into codependency.

Much pain comes from trying to be perfect. Perfection is impossible unless we think of it in a new way: Perfection is being who and where we are today; it's accepting and loving ourselves just as we are. We are each right where we need to be in our recovery.

Today, I will love and accept myself for who I am and where I am in my recovery process. I am right where I need to be to get to where I'm going tomorrow.

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Presence

"C'mon. Hurry. Let's go," my friend said, shifting nervously from one foot to the other.

I looked around. Another friend, Michael, had just walked into the room. I hadn't seen him for a while. I felt compelled to go over and talk to him, even though I didn't have anything important to say.

"Please, let's go," my friend said again. I started to leave with him, then changed my mind.

"Give me just a few minutes," I said, walking away from my friend and moving toward Michael. We didn't talk about much, Michael and I. But I'll never forget that conversation. He was killed in an accident two weeks later.

Some people suggest that our biggest regret when we die will be that we didn't work less and spend more time with the people we love. That may be true, but for me, I think it will be that I wasn't more completely present for each person, task, and moment in my life.

Action: Do you remember the "stop, look, and, listen" slogan from when you were a child? Every so often, even for a few minutes each day, try to remember to practice it.

Slow down or stop - depending on how fast you're going.

Look - see where you are, whom you're with, what you're doing. Give whatever you're doing your attention.

Listen - as much as possible, quell your anxiety, cease your mental chatter, and just listen to nature, to other people, to God, and to yourself.

You are reading from the book:

52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie

Lealonnie

Recovery Meditations: May 9th

OPEN MINDEDNESS

Let go of your attachment to being right,
and suddenly your mind is more open.
You're able to benefit from the unique viewpoints of others,
without being crippled by your own judgment.

Ralph Marston

Before joining this program much of my life was taken up with defending myself against those who would hurl abuse. I kept everything and everybody at arm's length in a bid to protect my increasingly fragile and sensitive self-assurance. As time marched on, and my disease became parasitical, the walls around me grew higher and isolation drew me inwards.

Ironically, the fortress I was building didn’t protect me from myself and I soon became my own worst enemy. My self-loathing and my unceasing search for perfection led me deeper into a self-induced state of depression. Keeping everybody out and locking myself in became an exhausting exercise.

On entering the 12 Step program I soon realized that the fortress I had so carefully built to protect myself against the outside world was also preventing any kind of light, warmth and love from entering in.

As my journey of recovery progressed, brick by brick the walls came down and afforded me the nourishment I needed to blossom and grow. In learning to accept myself, I found that what others thought of me paled into insignificance. I learned that there was a wealth of experience, strength and hope which would help me along the journey. I learned that I could take what I needed and put down the remainder, without the resentment, anger, fear or pain, which previously would have sent me running for cover.

One Day at a Time . . .
I aim to be willing to keep my mind open, to accept what I need to continue my journey, and to leave the rest.

~ Sue G ~

My Certified Health Coach Website

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Each Day a New Beginning

To expect too much is to have a sentimental view of life, and this is a softness that ends in bitterness.
—Flannery O'Connor
Having too high expectations is a set-up for disappointment. Expectations that are high lend themselves to a fantasy life, and reality can never match our fantasies. When we get hooked on the fantasies, somehow thinking they are reality, or should be reality, we are vulnerable to the hurt that accompanies the emergence of "the real." Then we feel cheated - bitter: "Why did this have to happen to me?"

Having too high expectations was a familiar feeling before recovery. And it remains familiar to us, even now. Dreams and aspirations aren't wrong. In fact, they beckon us on to better and greater things. But dreams of what we can become through responsible choices are quite different from idle expectations of what will or should be.

Every moment of every day opens the way to my aspirations that enhance reality. I will be open and receptive to reality and its gifts.

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Food for Thought

Self-Pity

"Poor little ol' me." The PLOMS. How often do we succumb to this temptation? Usually it's an excuse for not doing what we know we should do, but do not want to do. Or it's a way to manipulate someone else into doing something for us, which we should be doing ourselves. If we spend our time moaning and groaning about how unfairly life is treating us, we do not have much chance of discovering the plan which our Higher Power has for us, nor are we able to carry out His will.

Trite as it may sound, the cure for self-pity is to think about those who are less fortunate and start counting our blessings. Taking some action, doing some small thing for someone else, perhaps a phone call - these are constructive steps to take us off the "pity pot."

When we begin to feel sorry for ourselves because we must follow a food plan and may not eat spontaneously, let's remember where we came from and what things were like before we found OA.

I don't need self-pity.

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The Language of Letting Go

Learning New Behaviors

Sometimes we'll take a few steps backward. That's okay too. Sometimes it's necessary. Sometimes it's part of going forward.
—Codependent No More
Life is a Gentle Teacher. She wants to help us learn.

The lessons she wants to teach us are the ones we need to learn. Some say they are the lessons we chose to learn before we were born. Others say they are the lessons that were chosen for us.

It's frustrating to be in the midst of learning. It is like sitting in algebra class, listening to a teacher explain a subject beyond our comprehension. We do not understand, but the teacher takes the understanding for granted.

It may feel like someone is torturing us with messages that we shall never understand. We strain and strain. We become angry. Frustrated. Confused. Finally, in despair, we turn away, deciding that that formula will never be available to our mind.

Later, while taking a quiet walk, we break through. Quietly, the gift of understanding has reached that deepest place in us. We understand. We have learned. The next day in class, it's hard for us to imagine not knowing. It is hard to remember the frustration and confusion of those who have not yet caught on. It seems so easy . . . now.

Life is a Gentle Teacher. She will keep repeating the lesson until we learn. It is okay to become frustrated. Confused. Angry. Sometimes it is okay to despair. Then, it is okay to walk away and allow the breakthrough to come.

It shall.

Help me remember that frustration and confusion usually precede growth. If my situation is challenging me, it is because I'm learning something new, rising to a higher level of understanding. Help me be grateful, even in my frustration, that life is an exciting progression of lessons.

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

To speak ill of others is a dishonest way of praising ourselves.
--Will Durant

Sometimes we say bad things about others. When we do this, it makes us look bad too. Our friends worry what we might say about them behind their backs. They're afraid to trust us. We become known as gossips.

The things we say about other people tell a lot about us. We are kind or unkind. We gossip or we don't. This doesn't mean we have to say everyone is wonderful all the time. As we work our program to see ourselves better, we begin to see other people more clearly too. We see their strong points and their weak points. But we can know these things without gossiping about them.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me see others clearly, and in their best light. Let me bring out the good in others.

Action for the Day

Today, I'll list the people I'm closest to at work, school, and home. I'll think of how I talk about them to others. Am I kind?

You are reading from the book:

Keep It Simple by Anonymous

Lealonnie

Recovery Meditations: May 8th

POSITIVE THOUGHTS

“I’ve always believed that you can think positive
just as well as you can think negative.”
James Arthur Baldwin

What did I think about before I was in recovery? I worried about what others thought of me. I thought of what and when I could eat next. I picked apart the way others' bodies looked, while being jealous of them. I didn't know that thinking of negative things brought my energy level down. I thought self-discipline meant disciplining myself -- which meant mentally beating myself up.

My Higher Power has shown me a way of thinking that was new to me, but is age old -- positive thoughts. Thinking positive brings me to a level of serenity. When my mind wanders, I can bring it back. When I find myself obsessing over something negative, I can work the first three steps with it. I am powerless over negativity. I have a HP who can remove it from me. I choose to let my HP direct my thoughts. And then let myself to think of something else.

One day at a time...
I choose to think positively. The result is serenity.

Nancy F.

My Certified Health Coach Website

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Each Day a New Beginning

The battle to keep up appearances unnecessarily, the mask--whatever name you give creeping perfectionism--robs us of our energies.
—Robin Worthington

How familiar we are with trying to be women other than ourselves; ones more exciting, we think, or sexier, or smarter. We have probably devoted a great deal of energy to this over the years. It's likely that we are growing more content with ourselves now. However, aren't there still situations in which we squirm, both because we want to project a different image, and because we resent our desire to do so?

We each have been blessed with unique qualities. There is no other woman just like ourselves. We each have special features that are projected in only one way, the way we alone project them.

Knowing that we are perfect as we are is knowledge that accompanies recovery. How much easier life is, how much more can be gained from each moment, when we meet each experience in the comfort of our real selves. The added gift of simply being ourselves is that we'll really hear, see, and understand others for the first time in our lives.

I can only fully focus on one thing, one person at a time. I will free my focus from myself today and be filled up by my experiences with others.

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Food for Thought

Fake Pride

Our pride often gets in the way of our recovery. Not the good kind of pride, the self-respect which belongs to all of us as God's children, but the false pride is what trips us up.

We are falsely proud when we think we can "go it alone," when we recognize no authority higher than our own ego. We are falsely proud when we refuse to ask for help or follow directions. False pride is involved whenever we consider ourselves better than someone else.

As soon as we start off on an ego trip, we are headed for trouble. Sometimes it takes many hard falls before we can give up false pride. Compulsive overeating guarantees that we will learn humility once we recognize that we are powerless over food and cannot manage our own lives.

When we conscientiously examine our motives for overeating and when we look honestly at the damage our wrong thinking has done to ourselves and those around us, we are on the way to getting rid of our false pride. It is something we have to fight continually, since this kind of pride has a way of springing up again and again.

Please forgive my false pride.

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The Language of Letting Go

Giving Ourselves What We Deserve

I worked at a good job, making a decent salary. I had been recovering for years. Each morning, I got into my car and I thanked God for the car. The heater didn't work. And the chance of the car not starting was almost as great as the chance that it would. I just kept suffering through and thanking God. One day, it occurred to me that there was absolutely no good reason I couldn't buy myself a new car - that moment - if I wanted one. I had been gratitudeing myself into unnecessary deprivation and martyrdom. I bought the new car - that day.
—Anonymous

Often, our instinctive reaction to something we want or need is, No! I can't afford it!

The question we can learn to ask ourselves is, But can I?

Many of us have learned to habitually deprive ourselves of anything we might want, and often things we need.

Sometimes, we can misuse the concept of gratitude to keep ourselves unnecessarily deprived.

Gratitude for what we have is an important recovery concept. So is believing we deserve the best and making an effort to stop depriving ourselves and start treating ourselves well.

There is nothing wrong with buying ourselves what we want when we can afford to do that. Learn to trust and listen to yourself about what you want. There's nothing wrong with buying yourself a treat, buying yourself something new.

There are times when it is good to wait. There are times when we legitimately cannot afford a luxury. But there are many times when we can.

Today, I will combine the principles of gratitude for what I have with the belief that I deserve the best. If there is no good reason to deprive myself, I won't.

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

No matter what faces us — an unhappy relationship, a serious operation or illness, a feeling of uselessness or helplessness — it is vital to realize that there is a solution.

We must not expect that the solution to our problem will bring us immediate peace of mind. Focusing our energies and emotions on the answer, not the problem, will, however, alleviate much of the futility and frustration we feel.

A medical doctor, George S. Stevenson, wrote, "The solution may not give you everything you want. Sometimes, it may give you nothing but a chance to start all over again. But whatever little it gives you is much more than you give yourself by letting your emotions tear you apart."

Today I will focus my energies and emotions on the solution, not the problem. I will allow the solution to flow through me, with the help of my Higher Power, knowing there is a satisfactory answer to my difficulty.

You are reading from the book:

The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes

Lealonnie

Recovery Meditations: May 7th

SUBLIMATION

"People who are happy don't use food to
sublimate. Food is supposed to be good for
you - not make you feel good!"
Gary Null

All compulsive overeaters use food to sublimate. Sublimation in layman’s terms is any habit or technique we use to alter or change our reality - for better or worse! Sublimation methods of choice are a great gauge to measure mental and physical health. Poor choices are using food, gambling, television, alcohol, drugs, shopping, excessive sleep or too many passive activities. Healthy choices are meditation, visual imagery, prayer, journaling, yoga, physical exercise, relaxation exercises, deep breathing, etc. Anything from lawn mowing to vacuuming could be an act of sublimation - IF done with high level of awareness and concentration. A person who's high up the ladder spiritually sees Higher Power in all things at all times. Since we sublimate regardless, the trick is to make it a consciously controlled positive sublimation rather than subconscious negative sublimation.

One day at a time...
I will consciously incorporate positive, healthy methods of sublimation.

~ Rob R.

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Each Day a New Beginning

We tend to think of the rational as a higher order, but it is the emotional that marks our lives. One often learns more from ten days of agony than from ten years of contentment.
—Merle Shain

Pain stretches us. It pushes us toward others. It encourages us to pray. It invites us to rely on many resources, particularly those within.

We develop our character while handling painful times. Pain offers wisdom. It prepares us to help other women whose experiences repeat our own. Our own pain offers us the stories that help another who is lost and needs our guidance.

When we reflect on our past for a moment, we can recall the pain we felt last month or last year; the pain of a lost love, or the pain of no job and many bills; perhaps the pain of children leaving home, or the death of a near and dear friend. It might have seemed to us that we couldn't cope. But we did, somehow, and it felt good. Coping strengthened us.

What we forget, even now, is that we need never experience a painful time alone. The agony that accompanies a wrenching situation is dissipated as quickly and as silently as the entrance of our higher power, when called upon.

I long for contentment. And I deserve those times. But without life's pain I would fail to recognize the value of contentment.

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Food for Thought

Anger

When angry, many of us overate. Now that we are abstaining, what do we do with our anger?

First of all, we need to be in touch with our feelings so that we can recognize anger when it occurs. In our overeating days, we often may not have realized that we were angry instead of hungry. Not until we were stuffed with food did the anger surface, and then we frequently directed it at ourselves for overeating.

Getting the carbohydrates out of our system allows us to be more aware of our true feelings and reactions. If we can catch our anger when it begins, it is easier to handle. Expressing it in the early stages is less devastating to ourselves and others than waiting until it builds up into a rage.

The best thing we can do with anger is to turn it over to our Higher Power. If we hang on to it, we can be destroyed. Practicing the Steps every day helps us get rid of anger. If we let Him, our Higher Power will take it away.

Take away my anger, Lord.

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The Language of Letting Go

Letting Go of Fear

Fear is at the core of codependency. It can motivate us to control situations or neglect ourselves.

Many of us have been afraid for so long that we don't label our feelings fear. We're used to feeling upset and anxious. It feels normal.

Peace and serenity may be uncomfortable.

At one time, fear may have been appropriate and useful. We may have relied on fear to protect ourselves, much the way soldiers in a war rely on fear to help them survive. But now, in recovery, we're living life differently.

It's time to thank our old fears for helping us survive, then wave good-bye to them. Welcome peace, trust, acceptance, and safety. We don't need that much fear anymore. We can listen to our healthy fears, and let go of the rest.

We can create a feeling of safety for ourselves, now. We are safe, now. We've made a commitment to take care of ourselves. We can trust and love ourselves.

God, help me let go of my need to be afraid. Replace it with a need to be at peace. Help me listen to my healthy fears and relinquish the rest.

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

God insists that we ask, not because He needs to know our situation, but because we need the spiritual discipline of asking.
-- Catherine Marshall

An omniscient God must know what we desire before we ask. God knows that what we really need most is reliance on God. And how do we develop reliance? Like most other things, by practicing.

If it weren't for the need to remind us daily or hourly that all power flows from our Creator, we could just say a quick prayer at the beginning of each week, or each year, and be done with it. Surely God could fill our requests a year ahead of time. But getting our wishes granted isn't the purpose of prayer. Getting to know God is the purpose.

I need to be in touch with my Creator every hour of the day.

You are reading from the book:

In God's Care by Karen Casey

Lealonnie

Recovery Meditations: May 6th

EXPECTATIONS

“The best thing about the future
is that it only comes one day at a time."
Abraham Lincoln

Being a rational, logical person I have always worked from the premise that If I did something then the following would be the outcome and maybe in the scientific world that may have been true. But in the real world of relationships and people it certainly doesn't work like that as I have discovered since coming into program. As it says in the Big Book "serenity is inversely proportional to one's expectations" and I know now how true this is.

Just recently after having set a boundary with my son I was expecting all sorts of repercussions and imagined him trying to talk me out of my decision and the result was that I lost my serenity and became really anxious. Of course the truth was nowhere like I had imagined and the situation ended very differently from what I had expected. This was a lesson to me once again that things don't turn out the way we expect them to but the way they are meant to.

One day at a time...
When I let go of any expectations I have of how a situation is going to turn out, I get to keep my serenity and the situation turns out the way it's supposed to.

~ Sharon S.

My Certified Health Coach Website

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Each Day a New Beginning

I stand before you as a tower of strength, the weight of the world on my shoulders. As you pass through my life, look, but not too close, for I fear I will expose the vulnerable me.
—Deidra Sarault
Vulnerability is as much a part of being human as is strength. Our vulnerability prevents our strength from becoming hard, brittle, and self-serving. Our soft edges invite others' openness and their expressions of love.

We learned long ago to be "strong." We were encouraged to need no help, to need nobody. Now, we struggle to ask for help. As we grow in understanding of our human needs, and as we become more aware of the spiritual help available, the difficulty of reaching out to others is eased.

No longer need we look to pills, booze, food, or lovers for strength. All the strength we'll ever need is as close as our thoughts. At this moment, we are a tower of strength, not one weighted with burdens. Rather, our strength is a gift of our connection to a spiritual power that can free us from all the troubles we shoulder. Our vulnerable selves will open our souls to the flood of strength just waiting for our prayers.

I will be as strong as I need to be when I tap the spiritual source that awaits my call. I will risk my vulnerable self today.

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation

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Food for Thought

Communicating

If we do not tell people what is troubling us, they cannot help. We have sometimes been too proud or too shy to let others know what we were feeling. Rather than trying to communicate with those close to us, we ate. Eating instead of communicating further increased our isolation and unhappiness.

Exposing our feelings makes us vulnerable, and we often fear that we will be hurt or rejected. We may be trying to preserve a false image of ourselves as self-sufficient and free of problems. Whatever the reasons for our unwillingness to communicate, we are cheating ourselves. By "clamming up," we cut ourselves off from the care and support of those who love us.

Honest sharing between individuals opens the way for growth and change. By expressing our thoughts and feelings out loud to another person, we become better able to understand and deal with whatever is bothering us. More important, we deepen our relationships with family and friends when we are willing to communicate on a meaningful level.

Give me courage to communicate.

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The Language of Letting Go

Feeling Good

Make yourself feel good.

It's our job to first make ourselves feel better and then make ourselves feel good. Recovery is not only about stopping painful feelings; it is about creating a good life for ourselves.

We don't have to deny ourselves activities that help us feel good. Going to meetings, basking in the sun, exercising, taking a walk, or spending time with a friend are activities that may help us feel good. We each have our list. If we don't, we're now free to explore, experiment, and develop that list.

When we find a behavior or activity that produces a good feeling, put it on the list. Then, do it frequently.

Let's stop denying ourselves good feelings and start doing things that make us feel good.

Today, I will do one activity or behavior that I know will create a good feeling for me. If I'm uncertain about what I like, I will experiment with one behavior today.

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Reflection for the Day

I can attain real dignity, importance and individuality only by a dependence on a Power, which is great and good, beyond anything I can imagine or understand. I will try my utmost to use this Power in making all my decisions. Even though my human mind cannot forecast what the outcome will be, I will try to be confident that whatever comes will be for my ultimate good. Just for today, will I try to live this day only, and not tackle my whole life problem at once?

Today I Pray

May I make no decision; engineer no change in the course of my life stream, without calling upon my Higher Power. May I have faith that God's plan for me is better than any scheme I could devise for myself.

Today I Will Remember

God is the architect. I am the builder.

You are reading from the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

Lealonnie

Recovery Meditations: May 5th

CHOOSE HAPPINESS

"Some cause happiness wherever they go;
others whenever they go."
Oscar Wilde

If happiness were to be found on a coin, anger and frustration would be on the other side of that coin, for they are all the children of expectation. As adults, we try to recapture those special moments and feelings of our childhood by recreating them. We use them as a model for happiness, only this time we are the adults and operating the controls. Unfortunately, our expectations are not grounded in reality. Reaching that level of childhood bliss is usually either impossible or fleeting. How can you as an adult compete with the happiness of being a child?

My experience is that we usually have a set-point for happiness. And though we can feel joy and sadness, we return to that same level of happiness afterward. There are things, however, that can help change that set-point. We can come to believe that a power greater than ourselves can feed our spirit, help keep us living in the moment, and enjoying the kind of peace and wisdom that only our Higher Power can provide. It helps ground us in the truth and gets rid of unrealistic expectations. It helps to relax us as opposed to letting our mind bounce back and forth from past to future and pain to fantasy. We learn to accept our life - just as it is. Today. Now

What choices have I been making to choose happiness? I choose to go to meetings and give shares. I choose to abstain from compulsive overeating. I choose to set time for myself every day where I can organize my affairs, and help ward off stressful situations. I also try to spend time with myself in ways that will feed my soul and spirit, not just keep myself entertained until I go to bed. I give to service to others, but remember that I need to take care of myself, for when I am not strong; I have no strength to give.

One day at a time...
Today I will choose happiness.

~ Marilyn S.

My Certified Health Coach Website

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Each Day a New Beginning

. . . it is a peaceful thing to be one succeeding.
—Gertrude Stein

Success is at hand. While we read these words, we are experiencing it. At this very instant, our commitment to recovery is a sign of success, and we feel peace each time we let go of our struggle, turning to another for help, for direction. Because we strive only for perfection, we recognize nothing less; we block our awareness of the ordinary successes that are ours again and again. Thus, the serenity the program promises eludes us. But we are succeeding. Every day that we are abstinent, we succeed.

We can think of the times - perhaps only yesterday - when we listened to a friend in need, or finished a task that was nagging at us. Maybe we made an appointment to begin a project we've been putting off. Success is taking positive action, nothing more.

Many of us, in our youth, were taught that success only came in certain shapes and sizes. And we felt like failures. We need new definitions; it's time to discard the old. Luckily for us, the program offers us new ones.

Every person, every situation, can add to my success today. My attitude can help someone else succeed, too.

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Food for Thought

Slow Down and Live

Many of us rush through our days as well as rush through our meals. Often we let ourselves get so busy that we do not enjoy what we are doing or what we are eating. We swallow life in great gulps instead of savoring it moment by moment.

Hurry and busyness are forms of self-will. Deluded by an exaggerated sense of our own importance, we deem it crucial to perform all tasks and activities according to our personal schedule. Impatient with traffic tie-ups, other people's slowness, or unavoidable delays, we make ourselves tense and miserable by our refusal to accept life as it comes.

Time spent each day in quiet meditation can give us glimpses of God's timelessness. We see that our schedule is not that important after all, when measured against eternity. As the presence of God seeps into our consciousness, we relax into the fullness and peace of each moment. Trusting our Higher Power to order our lives, we can slow down and enjoy His gifts.

May I exchange hurry and busyness for Your peace.

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The Language of Letting Go

Control

Many of us have been trying to keep the whole world in orbit with sheer and forceful application of mental energy.

What happens if we let go, if we stop trying to keep the world orbiting and just let it whirl? It'll keep right on whirling. It'll stay right on track with no help from us. And we'll be free and relaxed enough to enjoy our place on it.

Control is an illusion, especially the kind of control we've been trying to exert. In fact, controlling gives other people, events, and diseases, such as alcoholism, control over us. Whatever we try to control does have control over our life and us.

I have given this control to many things and people in my life. I have never gotten the results I wanted from controlling or trying to control people. What I received for my efforts is an unmanageable life, whether that unmanageability was inside me or in external events.

In recovery, we make a trade off. We trade a life that we have tried to control, and we receive in return something better - a life that is manageable.

Today, I will exchange a controlled life for one that is manageable.

****************************************************************

Today's thought from Hazelden is:
Growing

We all perform on two stages: one public, one private. The Public stage is what we do and say. The Private stage is what we think and what we rehearse in our minds to do on the Public stage. Even though we may never perform it, what we rehearse in our minds helps mold our character and guide our actions.

Are we rehearsing anger, fights, and what we're going to tell that SOB next time? Are we rehearsing drug use, the old ways of living? If so, we are risking the recovery we have achieved.

To keep growing and to keep building character, we need to rehearse kindness, patience, and love. We need to practice awareness of our Higher Power in our lives.

Am I growing?

May I practice kindness, patience, and love in all my affairs today.

You are reading from the book:

Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous

Lealonnie

Recovery Meditations: May 4th

LIGHT

It's better to light a candle
then to curse the darkness.

Old Chinese Proverb

I have been living with this disease of compulsive eating for as long as I can remember. I remember stealing money out of my mother’s purse to buy sugar-filled soft drinks and candy, and sneaking food out of the cupboard and trying to make it look like nothing was missing. I hid food and ate in isolation, pretending on the outside that nothing was wrong. But I carried this terrible secret -- I lived to eat.

As my disease progressed, I acted out in other compulsive ways, and surrounded myself with people who cared nothing for my welfare. I kept running faster and faster, and eating more and more, as my disease sucked all of the energy from my spirit. I sank deeper into the darkness of despair and depression, cursing all those I blamed for my unhappiness.

Through the grace of my Higher Power, my life became so painful that I had to seek help outside of myself. I found this program, and a candle was lit. While my recovery has been rocky over the last 10 years, that candle of progress and hope continues to light my way. No matter how bad things get now, I know that I have my Higher Power and my program friends to lean on. The wonderful people I have met through the program have saved my life, and have shown me the path to peace and abstinence. While I don’t always choose to follow that path perfectly, I continue to recover, and to find everyday joys that make life worth living.

One day at a time . . .
I will keep the light of recovery burning.

Suzanne

My Certified Health Coach Website

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Each Day a New Beginning

The rare and beautiful experiences of divine revelation are moments of special gifts. Each of us, however, lives each day with special gifts which are a part of our very being, and life is a process of discovering and developing these God-given gifts within each one of us.
—Jeane Dixon

Have we discovered what our gifts are? We assuredly have them, and now that we are abstinent we have opportunities, daily, to share them with others. Sharing them knowingly will bring joy to us, but more than that, we will grow in appreciation of ourselves. And we do need to realize how very important we are to others.

Many of us came into this program nearly feet first. Most of us were filled with rage, shame, or both. Life had dumped on us. We had survived only minimally. The knowledge that we had something to offer the human race was not ours, then. It may still be knowledge that escapes us, from time to time. But we can learn to acknowledge it.

We have many talents that are ours alone to offer the world. Perhaps we express ourselves adroitly; maybe we write particularly well. Listening when it's most needed by a friend may be our finest talent today. We might have gifts as a musician or a manager. Our inner self knows our strengths. We can listen for that voice.

God is trying to get my attention today, to direct my energies to make the most of my special talents. I will be aware.

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Food for Thought

Food Is Not Enough
Food is fine, as far as it goes, but it doesn't go far enough. We need our three meals a day, planned according to the requirements for healthy nutrition, but we do not live by food alone.

We need close contacts with friends. We need to be involved in productive work and stimulating activities. We need to serve in the areas where we are best qualified. We need to use our God given talents and abilities rather than sitting on them. Especially, we need the spiritual qualities of faith, hope, and love.

In the past, we may have given up on "religion." Through the OA program, we have found that our Higher Power did not give up on us. He has led us to this plan of recovery and is offering each of us the possibility of a richer, fuller life. God never intended us to be satisfied with physical food and material things. He daily offers us much more.

Fill my spirit, I pray.

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The Language of Letting Go

Freedom from Compulsive Disorders

Thank you for keeping me straight yesterday. Please help me stay straight today.
—paraphrased from Alcoholics Anonymous

When I first began my recovery from codependency, I was furious about having to begin another recovery program. Seven years earlier, I had begun recovery from chemical dependency. It didn't seem fair that one person should have to address two major issues in one lifetime.

I've gotten over my anger. I've learned that my recoveries aren't isolated from one another. Many of us recovering from codependency and adult children issues are also recovering from addictions: alcoholism, other drug dependency, gambling, food, work, or sex addiction. Some of us are trying to stay free of other compulsive disorders - ranging from caretaking to compulsively feeling miserable, guilty, or ashamed.

An important part of codependency recovery is staying clean and free of our compulsive or addictive behaviors. Recovery is one big room we've entered called healthy living.

We can wave the white flag of surrender to all our addictions. We can safely turn to a Power greater than ourselves to relieve us of our compulsive behavior. We know that now. Once we begin actively working a program of recovery, God will relieve us of our addictions. Ask God each morning to help us stay free of our addictions and compulsions. Thank God for helping us the day before.

Today, God, help me pay attention to all my recovery issues. Help me know that before I can work on the finer points of my recovery, such as my relationships, I must be free of addictive behaviors.

*************************************************************

Today's thought for Hazelden is:
Lay not up for yourselves treasures on earth where moth and dust doth corrupt, where thieves break through and steal; but lay up treasures in heaven ... for where your treasure is, there will be your heart also.
--Matthew 6:19 21

The True Treasure

Consider the following story of misplaced priorities. While hiking in the wilderness, I met a man whose T-shirt carried the following message: "He who dies with the most toys, wins."

As I pondered those words, I was sure that the author meant the opposite of what he said. No one on his deathbed ever stated, "I wish I had spent more time at the office." We were put on this earth not to accumulate "toys," but to reap the gifts of the spirit. These gifts come to us when we dedicate our lives to something greater than ourselves — a path of service in the world, the raising of a loving family, the creation of beauty through art, or any passion that inspires one.

Having lived in this manner, you can look back over your life with a real sense of fulfillment. By following the path of peace, love, and joy, you will discover your true treasure — one that transcends death itself.

He who dies having followed his heart, wins.

You are reading from the book:

Listening to Your Inner Voice by Douglas Bloch

Lealonnie

Recovery Meditations: May 3rd

STEP ONE

"The cause is hidden, but the result is known."
Ovid

When I went to my first meeting and was told about Step One, that I was to admit my powerlessness, it was somewhat of a mystery to me. I thought powerlessness was weakness. It was obvious that the result of my compulsive overeating could be seen by everyone, but to me, I was not sure that powerlessness was the answer to the problem. As I kept going to meetings and listening to people share about powerlessness, read the literature, and talked to my sponsor, I learned that powerlessness was not weakness. In fact, to admit my powerlessness, was to connect me to a power that was greater than I had ever experienced before in my life.

The paradoxes of the program, such as we “lose to win” and “give to receive” are true of admitting my powerlessness to find a greater power. In The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous on p. 5 it reads, “Later we discovered that, far from being a negative factor, the admission of our powerlessness over food opened the door to an amazing newfound power.” What a blessing it is to now know that I am powerless, and have opened the door of a newfound power through the steps, the tools and my Higher Power.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will freely admit my powerlessness and gladly open the door to the newfound power in my life.

~ Carolyn

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Each Day a New Beginning

. . . love is a great beautifier.
—Louisa May Alcott

Meeting life head-on, with a smile, attracts to us people and situations. Our attitudes shape our world - which is not to deny that problems do occur. However, problems can be viewed as special opportunities for personal growth -- as gifts, more or less, that we are ready to receive. When the student is ready, the teacher appears. The stumbling blocks we encounter push us beyond our present awareness. They teach us that we are stronger and more creative than we'd thought. Problem solving is esteem-building.

Negatively confronting the day is sure to complicate any experiences. A simple misunderstanding can be exaggerated into a grave situation, requiring the energy of many people to handle it. On the other hand, a patient, trusting, loving attitude can turn a grave situation into a positive learning experience for all affected.

We can beautify the day by smiling at it and throughout all the experiences it offers us. The expression of love to everyone we meet guarantees to make us more lovable in return.

How great is my influence today! I can go forth feeling love, if I choose to--guaranteeing an enjoyable day for me and everyone I meet.

*******************************************************

Food for Thought

Accepting Normality

It is normal to eat three meals a day. As compulsive overeaters, we made ourselves exceptional by refusing to follow the usual pattern of meals. Instead, we wanted to follow the whims and demands of our irrational appetites. For some reason, what was good enough for others was not good enough for us - we had to have more.

Now that we have accepted a reasonable food plan, we can learn to eat normally. We do not need extra food. We know that our true strength and nourishment come from our Higher Power, not from an overload of calories.

When we stop overeating compulsively, we no longer need to feel guilty about our eating habits or different from those around us. We can accept the fact that we are normal people, not better than everyone else and not worse either. Like those around us, we have strengths and weaknesses, and we are making progress. It is a relief to accept normality.

May I keep a realistic perspective on myself.

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The Language of Letting Go

Freedom from Self-Seeking

Please free my thinking of self-will, self-seeking, dishonesty, and wrong motives.
—paraphrased from Alcoholics Anonymous

There is a difference between owning our power to take care of ourselves, as part of God's will for our life, and self-will. There is a difference between self-care and self-seeking. And our behaviors are not as much subject to criticism as are the motives underlying them.

There is a harmonic, gentle, timely feeling to owning our power, to self-care, and to acts with healthy motives that are not present in self-will and self-seeking. We will learn discernment. But we will not always know the difference. Sometimes, we will feel guilty and anxious with no need. We may be surprised at the loving way God wants us to treat ourselves. We can trust that self-care is always appropriate. We want to be free of self-will and self-seeking, but we are always free to take care of ourselves.

God, please guide my motives today, and keep me on Your path. Help me love myself, and others too. Help me understand that more often than not, those two ideas are connected.

********************************************************

Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Information is of two kinds. We know a subject ourselves, or we know where we can find information upon it.
--Samuel Johnson

Knowledge is power. The more information we have, the more empowered we feel. The unknown can be scary. We don't know what we're getting into so we don't act at all. When we know our legal rights and obligations, we start making decisions we feel good about. We can confront difficult situations with confidence instead of fear.

We can get information about our legal rights concerning debt and divorce or debt and collection agencies by visiting the library, a lawyer, Debtors Anonymous meetings, financial advisers, and nonprofit consumer credit agencies.

Today I will make it my responsibility to learn as much as I can about my debt and related legal issues.

You are reading from the book:

Letting Go of Debt by Karen Casanova

Lealonnie

Recovery Meditations: May 2nd

HELPING OTHERS

If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain
If I can ease one life the aching or cool one pain
or help one fainting Robin unto his nest again
I shall not live in vain
Emily Dickinson

Somewhere along the way I found myself to be a caretaker. Injustices, pain, discrimination, bullying; all these things affected me deeply. I carried it too far. It reached a point where I truly believe I began taking better care of others than I did myself. Was this ego? Codependency? Altruism? Or was this a guiltless way I found to deflect my own problems, pain, injustices and needs?

When I was doing my first 4th Step inventory, I learned something very important. As my sponsor read over one "bad thing" I had done after another she cautioned me to take a broader look at myself. Finally, she made me do my entire inventory over and for every 5th character defect or offense to someone, I was required to write something good about myself. She explained that an inventory is never meant to be focused on just the bad ... but the good also. After all, when a store takes inventory on its products, it counts bent cans of beans as well as the perfect cans of beans and crushed boxes of cereal as well as the perfect ones.

This helped me to see that my life's purpose was not just to help others but also to nurture me when my heart was breaking, to make my own life good and to have a nest for myself that was safe and serene. After working the Steps, I know that I'm not living my life in vain and I still want to help others as much as I possibly can, but not to the detriment of myself ... and certainly not to keep me from looking at my own life and my own problems realistically.

One day at a time...
May I help others who are less fortunate than I find their way. And let me also make my own nest as comfortable as it can be.

~ Mari

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Each Day a New Beginning

One must be leery of words because they turn into cages.
—Viola Spolin

We defeat ourselves with labels. We hem ourselves in; we shorten our vision; we cut off opportunities in the making. We influence how others think of us, too. Someone wise said that we teach others how to treat us. Are we teaching people to expect nothing great from us because we are always afraid? Do we shatter their vision of our potential by never thinking we can handle what may come?

We become the persons we have programmed ourselves to be. We can revamp the program, anytime. And right now is a good time to begin. We are surrounded by persons who have done just that.

It's time for praise. We are all that we need to be, and more. We will be helped to do all we are asked to do. We have an inner beauty that only needs encouragement to shine forth. If we smile from within today, we will free ourselves from our negative cages. A new life awaits us.

To catch myself each time I insult myself will be a challenge, but one worth taking on. And it's one I can win!

************************************************************

Food for Thought

Commitment

Our commitment to OA is total. The program is not something we pick up and put down according to whim. Abstinence is not a diet that we go on and off as it pleases us. Perhaps a seeming inability to commit ourselves to anything permanently has been one of our problems in the past. If so, we are now all the more aware of the necessity for genuine, total commitment to this program.

Most of us tried just about everything else before we came to OA. We may even have tried OA previously and left, thinking that there must be an easier way. Now we are desperate because we know that there is no other way for us. Our recovery depends on our willingness to commit ourselves honestly to the OA program and to work it day by day to the very best of our ability.

When we are firmly committed to the Twelve Steps and the OA principles, we are able to apply them to all aspects of our daily lives with astonishing results.

Strengthen my commitment, Lord.

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The Language of Letting Go

Our Higher Power

For the next twenty-four hours ...

In recovery, we live life one day at a time, an idea requiring an enormous amount of faith. We refuse to look back - unless healing from the past is part of today's work. We look ahead only to make plans. We focus on this day's activity, living it to the best of our ability. If we do that long enough, we'll have enough connected days of healing living to make something valuable of our life.

...I pray for knowledge of Your will for me only...

We surrender to God's will. We stop trying to control, and we settle for a life that is manageable. We trust our Higher Power's will for us - that it's good, generous, and with direction.

We're learning, through trial and error, to separate our will from God's will. We're learning that God's will is not offensive. We've learned that sometimes there's a difference between what others want us to do and God's will. We're also learning that God did not intend for us to be codependent, to be martyrs, to control or care take. We're learning to trust ourselves.

. . . and the power to carry that through.

Some of recovery is accepting powerlessness. An important part of recovery is claiming the power to take care of ourselves.

Sometimes, we need to do things that are frightening or painful. Sometimes, we need to step out, step back, or step forward. We need to call on the help of a Power greater than ourselves to do that.

We will never be called upon to do anything that we won't be empowered to do.

Today, I can call upon an energizing Power Source to help me. That Power is God. I will ask for what I need.

********************************************************
Today's thought from Hazelden is:

We can act ourselves into right thinking easier than we can think ourselves into right acting.
--Anonymous

The best thing for us to do in our 12 Step Program is to be honest in how we act and think. We must be true to that belief.

We can't think for others, and they can't think for us. Friends can tell us the lessons they have learned from their experiences. If those lessons fit us, we can use them to help guide us and our thinking. We often hear, "Take what you need and leave the rest."

As good for us as our ideas are, we must not force them on others. We can only offer them. And we won't be true to ourselves if we are jealous of other people's ideas. We never know what we can do until we try, and we can't be sure what ideas are best for us until we test them.

Am I dedicated to the beliefs that are best for me in my recovery?

You are reading from the book:
Easy Does It by Anonymous

Lealonnie

Recovery Meditations: May 1st

SHARING OUR STORIES

" You leave home to seek your fortune and, when you get it,
you go home and share it with your family."
Anita Baker

For much of my life I tried to be “Strong.” I kept silent about my own suffering and focused instead on others people’s needs and how I could help them. Though I could listen and offer advice, I lacked empathy and understanding.

When my stoic, stubborn, and silent avoidance of my own struggles finally made my life unmanageable, I entered recovery. By listening to stories shared by others, I have been blessed. I have found that none of us walk this path alone. We learn from each other and from the strength of traditions. I have found empathy.

I came to see that my silence was born from weakness, not from strength. It was shame, fear, and pride, which kept me hiding. Now I find great joy and freedom in sharing my story with others. I am particularly grateful to God for the way He used my story with my Dad.

My crisis not only drove me to seek help, but it freed my Dad to get help too. If I had remained silent, not only would I have been destroyed, but I would have robbed my Dad of the acceptance and freedom to admit and seek the help he needed ~ and that has so profoundly changed his life.

One day at a time...
I will recognize that my history and my current experiences are not to be hidden in silence. I will share my story with others.

~Lisa V.

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Each Day a New Beginning

Insight is cheap.
—Martha Roth

For years we kept ourselves in a split condition: With one part of our minds we looked at ourselves and said, "I do some self-destructive things because I don't believe I deserve love." When we became involved with unsuitable people or abused our bodies, we said, "I am punishing myself - I am expecting too much - I neglect my own needs."

We may see clearly how and why we get in our own way. But unless we have faith in a power greater than ourselves, we won't step aside. We won't let go. We'll do the same thing and "understand" ourselves in the same ways. We may even use our "insight" to keep ourselves stuck - to protect ourselves from the risk of change.

Now, having had a spiritual awakening, having come to believe that a higher power can restore us, we possess a gift more powerful than the keenest insight - faith in our ability to grow and change. We are children of God. All the creative power of the universe streams through us, if we don't block it.

Today, I will have faith, and all will be well.

*****************************************************************

Food for Thought

We Are Insatiable

Those of us who overeat compulsively can never be satisfied with food, no matter how much we eat. As we work the program, we discover (if we had not known it before) that we are insatiable in other areas, too. No amount of anything satisfies us for long; we soon need more.

We are each created with a spiritual longing which is not filled by anything temporal. What St. Augustine said hundreds of years ago - that our hearts are restless until they find their rest in God - is equally true today. Spiritual food is required to satisfy our spiritual hunger. The fruits of this world are good in their proper place, but when we idolize them we sell ourselves short. Created things in and of themselves are not enough; our hearts can accept nothing less than communion with the Creator.

We are children of God, and the things of this world do not fully satisfy us.

May we find our true rest and satisfaction in You.

******************************************************

The Language of Letting Go

Recovery Prayer

This prayer is based on a section of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous:

Thank you for keeping me straight yesterday. Please help me stay straight today.

For the next twenty-four hours, I pray for knowledge of Your will for me only, and the power to carry that through.

Please free my thinking of self-will, self-seeking, dishonesty, and wrong motives.

Send me the right thought, word, or action. Show me what my next step should be. In times of doubt and indecision, please send Your inspiration and guidance.

I ask that You might help me work through all my problems, to Your glory and honor.

This prayer is a recovery prayer. It can take us through any situation. In the days ahead, we'll explore the ideas in it. If we pray this prayer, we can trust it has been answered with a yes.

Today, I will trust that God will do for me what I cannot do for myself. I will do my part - working the Twelve Steps and letting God do the rest.

3rd Step Prayer
God, I offer myself to Thee

To build with me & to do with me as Thou wilt.

Relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do Thy will.

Take away my difficulties that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy power,

Thy love, and Thy way of life.

May I do Thy will always.

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Some days I feel like a tightrope walker.
- Jeannette N.

We all perform a balancing act, trying to keep perspective on what's important and what is not. Sometimes we fall — crazy drivers cut into our lane, the supermarket line takes forever, the baby's crying. At those times a minor insult at work or a cross word from a friend is just too much, and we lose our cool — and our balance.

During our years of active addiction we were impulsive, living in an all-or-nothing, black-and-white world, completely out of balance. Minor slights became major issues. We were subject to any whim our distorted thoughts cooked up.

We've had lots of practice being out of balance, so we have to work harder to regain it, but now we have the tools to change. Our program gives us a new focus, reminds us of what's important in our lives. We're reminded, too, of our powerlessness over people, places, and things. These ideas are new to us at first. We thought we had to control everything and everyone around us, and so we failed. But now we're learning how to keep our balance, and recover it when we've lost it. With practice, we'll get better every day. Now, we're learning how to let go and let God.

Today help me remember what's important. Help me keep my balance.

You are reading from the book:

Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Friday, May 9, 2014

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Monday, May 5, 2014

Sunday, May 4, 2014

Saturday, May 3, 2014

Friday, May 2, 2014

Thursday, May 1, 2014