COURAGE
“The courage of life is often less a dramatic spectacle
than the courage of the final moment;
but it is no less than a magnificent mixture
of triumph and tragedy.”
John F. Kennedy
As a little girl, I often daydreamed of a knight in shining armor who would ride bravely into my life and rescue me from my fears and insecurities. This knight would be fearless; un-phased by fire-breathing dragons, deep dark caves, or howling winds. He would have courage where I had only fear.
The knight never came. I began to look for other rescuers in my friends, rolemodels, teachers, and church. Still I could not find what I sought. My fears continued to scream in my soul ... and I felt so weak. I turned to food in an attempt to silence the monsters in my belly.
Sometimes my fear and hopelessness were so desperate that I almost ended my life – yet something inside of myself stopped me from doing so. Something inside of me clung to life and eventually brought me to The Recovery Group.
In this group of amazing people I immediately noticed the courage they exhibited in confronting the challenges in their lives and in choosing to learn and grow from every failure and every success. I marvel at the courage with which they keep moving towards more and more healing, in spite of their fears.
They have courage in spite of their fears.
The open, honest sharing of dear friends in recovery has taught me that even I had courage all along. Courage is not the absence of fear;
if there were no fear, there’d be no need for courage.
Courage means making the choice to move forward in spite of our fears.
One Day at a Time . . .
I will honor the courage I have. I will thank God for giving me the strength to move forward in spite of fear. I will celebrate the courage I see in my friends and I will encourage them on their journey.
~ Lisa V.
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Each Day a New Beginning
Bad moments, like good ones, tend to be grouped together.
—Edna O'Brien
Rough times may be pouring in on us at the moment, and they may seem unending. Difficulties appear to attract more difficulties, problems with loved ones, problems at work, and problems with our appearance. A negative attitude, something that we all struggle with at times (some of us more than others), is the culprit.
When the good times come, as they always do, they are accompanied by a positive attitude. We do find what we look for.
Our attitude is crucial. It determines our experiences. A trying situation can be tolerated with relative ease when we have a positive, trusting attitude. We forget, generally, that we have an inner source of strength to meet every situation. We forget the simple truth - all is well, at this moment, and at every moment. When the moments feel good, our presence is light, cheery. When the moments are heavy, so are we.
I can turn my day around. I can change the flavor of today's experiences. I can lift my spirits and know all is well.
—Edna O'Brien
Rough times may be pouring in on us at the moment, and they may seem unending. Difficulties appear to attract more difficulties, problems with loved ones, problems at work, and problems with our appearance. A negative attitude, something that we all struggle with at times (some of us more than others), is the culprit.
When the good times come, as they always do, they are accompanied by a positive attitude. We do find what we look for.
Our attitude is crucial. It determines our experiences. A trying situation can be tolerated with relative ease when we have a positive, trusting attitude. We forget, generally, that we have an inner source of strength to meet every situation. We forget the simple truth - all is well, at this moment, and at every moment. When the moments feel good, our presence is light, cheery. When the moments are heavy, so are we.
I can turn my day around. I can change the flavor of today's experiences. I can lift my spirits and know all is well.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey
© 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
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Food for Thought
Body Signals
When we were overeating compulsively, our bodies seemed to signal constant craving. Now that we are practicing a sane way of eating, we find that our bodies are more responsive to what we put into them.
We discover that we are more satisfied with small amounts of high quality food than we were with vast quantities of junk. Our bodies function better and we begin to hunger for wholesome, natural food rather than the refined sugars and starches we formerly craved.
Before, we never had enough. Now, we eat slowly and give our bodies time to signal cessation of hunger. We finish a meal feeling replete and energized, rather than overstuffed and sluggish. We wake up refreshed after fewer hours of sleep.
Now we can accept periods of hunger before meals as good, rather than something to be feared and avoided at all costs. There is no law against being hungry at times - it adds to the enjoyment of our meals. As our bodies become healthier, we experience them with greater awareness and pleasure.
Make me responsive to the signals of my body.
When we were overeating compulsively, our bodies seemed to signal constant craving. Now that we are practicing a sane way of eating, we find that our bodies are more responsive to what we put into them.
We discover that we are more satisfied with small amounts of high quality food than we were with vast quantities of junk. Our bodies function better and we begin to hunger for wholesome, natural food rather than the refined sugars and starches we formerly craved.
Before, we never had enough. Now, we eat slowly and give our bodies time to signal cessation of hunger. We finish a meal feeling replete and energized, rather than overstuffed and sluggish. We wake up refreshed after fewer hours of sleep.
Now we can accept periods of hunger before meals as good, rather than something to be feared and avoided at all costs. There is no law against being hungry at times - it adds to the enjoyment of our meals. As our bodies become healthier, we experience them with greater awareness and pleasure.
Make me responsive to the signals of my body.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L.
©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.
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The Language of Letting Go
Perfection
Many of us picked on ourselves unmercifully before recovery. We may also have a tendency to pick on ourselves after we begin recovery.
If I was really recovering, I wouldn't be doing that again . . . I should be further along than I am. These are statements that we indulge in when we're feeling shame. We don't need to treat ourselves that way. There is no benefit.
Remember, shame blocks us. But self-love and acceptance enable us to grow and change. If we truly have done something we feel guilty about, we can correct it with an amend and an attitude of self-acceptance and love.
Even if we slip back to our old, codependent ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving, we do not need to be ashamed. We all regress from time to time. That's how we learn and grow. Relapse, or recycling, is an important and necessary part of recovery. And the way out of recycling is not by shaming ourselves. That leads us deeper into codependency.
Much pain comes from trying to be perfect. Perfection is impossible unless we think of it in a new way: Perfection is being who and where we are today; it's accepting and loving ourselves just as we are. We are each right where we need to be in our recovery.
Today, I will love and accept myself for who I am and where I am in my recovery process. I am right where I need to be to get to where I'm going tomorrow.
Many of us picked on ourselves unmercifully before recovery. We may also have a tendency to pick on ourselves after we begin recovery.
If I was really recovering, I wouldn't be doing that again . . . I should be further along than I am. These are statements that we indulge in when we're feeling shame. We don't need to treat ourselves that way. There is no benefit.
Remember, shame blocks us. But self-love and acceptance enable us to grow and change. If we truly have done something we feel guilty about, we can correct it with an amend and an attitude of self-acceptance and love.
Even if we slip back to our old, codependent ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving, we do not need to be ashamed. We all regress from time to time. That's how we learn and grow. Relapse, or recycling, is an important and necessary part of recovery. And the way out of recycling is not by shaming ourselves. That leads us deeper into codependency.
Much pain comes from trying to be perfect. Perfection is impossible unless we think of it in a new way: Perfection is being who and where we are today; it's accepting and loving ourselves just as we are. We are each right where we need to be in our recovery.
Today, I will love and accept myself for who I am and where I am in my recovery process. I am right where I need to be to get to where I'm going tomorrow.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation
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Today's thought from Hazelden is:
Presence
"C'mon. Hurry. Let's go," my friend said, shifting nervously from one foot to the other.
I looked around. Another friend, Michael, had just walked into the room. I hadn't seen him for a while. I felt compelled to go over and talk to him, even though I didn't have anything important to say.
"Please, let's go," my friend said again. I started to leave with him, then changed my mind.
"Give me just a few minutes," I said, walking away from my friend and moving toward Michael. We didn't talk about much, Michael and I. But I'll never forget that conversation. He was killed in an accident two weeks later.
Some people suggest that our biggest regret when we die will be that we didn't work less and spend more time with the people we love. That may be true, but for me, I think it will be that I wasn't more completely present for each person, task, and moment in my life.
Action: Do you remember the "stop, look, and, listen" slogan from when you were a child? Every so often, even for a few minutes each day, try to remember to practice it.
Slow down or stop - depending on how fast you're going.
Look - see where you are, whom you're with, what you're doing. Give whatever you're doing your attention.
Listen - as much as possible, quell your anxiety, cease your mental chatter, and just listen to nature, to other people, to God, and to yourself.
You are reading from the book:
52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie
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