For Today: September 9th

Minds, like bodies, will often fall into a pimpled, ill-conditioned state from mere excess of comfort.

Charles Dickens

Excess kills the very qualities I seek in anything, be it possessions, activities or food.  Compulsive overeating gives the illusion of comfort, but what begins as an attempt to fill unmet needs soon takes on a life of its own, demanding more and giving less in return.

True comfort is to be found in the balance and sanity of abstinence. So deep and pure is this comfort that it is well worth whatever trouble or pain I might have to pass through to attain it.

For Today:  Abstinence from compulsive overeating is a state of mind, not a diet. God grant me abstinence today and, if need be, the willingness to go to any length to get it.

This is probably THE best reading I’ve ever seen on the subject of addictive eating! “Excess kills the very qualities I seek in anything”………”overeating gives the illusion of comfort……but soon takes on a life of its own, demanding MORE and giving less………”

No truer words have EVER been uttered!  Take binges for example. What starts out as a few extra cookies easily leads to a whole box of cookies and a ½ gallon of ice cream to go with it.  No matter HOW much trigger food I eat, it is NEVER enough…………and it takes more and more and MORE to ‘fill me up’ once I get started.

If I am eating compulsively, I am not eating for taste; I am eating for VOLUME.  I realized that nasty little fact back in June of 2008 when I started my journey to recovery.  That’s how I talk myself off the ledge, when I am compelled and DRIVEN to overeat: I tell myself that no matter how much I eat, it STILL won’t be enough……so why get started? That’s how I stopped drinking, too: by recognizing the fact that getting whacked out drunk was STILL not satisfying me……so where would it end? With me in the gutter? Maybe. Probably.

Smoking, drinking, and eating to excess has always been my problem. Oral fixation I wonder? Ha.  In my futile attempt to fill unmet needs, I wound up discovering unmet WANTS instead.  My wants in these areas will ALWAYS exceed my needs……….so, staying abstinent from all 3 behaviors is vital for me.

For today, I thank God for leading me to find abstinence from booze, cigarettes and excess/unhealthy food.  My life is far richer for my LACK of excess than it ever was WITH excess.

For Today: September 8th

True freedom is to share

All the chains our brothers wear;

And, with heart and hand, to be

Earnest to make others free!

James Russell Lowell

I am thankful for what I have received in OA. But if I am to keep it, I must remember my sisters and brothers who are still in the chains of compulsive overeating.  I am willing to break my anonymity, to share my experience with those who are still sick.

The love and compassion in my heart was poorly expressed in the lonely habits of compulsive overeating and the accompanying feeling of self-contempt.  I am thankful today that I have been relieved of my chains, that I have discovered a Higher Power, experienced a spiritual awakening, and can tell my story to others.

For Today:  It is through the love and friendship of others in OA that I have found  freedom. Only by working with those who are not yet free do I fully realize that freedom.

**********************************************************************

When I give back to my fellow compulsive overeaters who are still suffering, I DO realize how fortunate I am to have found freedom! That is one of the best features of this marvelous program: the sharing & caring.

When I share my own experience, strength and hope with others, fellow COEs realize they are NOT alone. 

For today, I will reach out to someone who needs my help & let them know they are not alone.

For Today: September 7th

No man can justly censure or condemn another, because indeed no man truly knows another.

Sir Thomas Brown

It is easy to condemn those who transgress, but there is no justice in such judgment.  I cannot know how another person feels, what the life experience of that person is.  Much as I do not want to think about it, child abuse and neglect are evils that have been with us a long time.  Am I so sure of the inherent “badness” of a person who lashes out in unprovoked attack?  To be sure, I am not obligated to stand still and let myself be used as a doormat, but I am bound to apply a single standard to all persons.  As I learn in OA to admit my errors and misdeeds, and ask my own and others'  forgiveness, I can do no less than extend the same humanity to others.

For Today: It is not for me to judge anyone.

********************************************************************

Judging others prevents me from looking at my OWN problems with honesty. It's easy to do.....that's for sure......but judging others sets ME back in my program.  While I shouldn't sit there and allow myself to be used as a doormat, I shouldn't go to the other extreme of passing judgment either.

That's the nature of compulsion......being prone to extreme behavior all over the place. The 'all or nothing' mentality.........I am either starving myself or overeating..........either sitting around like a lump on a log or exercising like a demon.............either being used as a doormat or casting judgment. 

Sigh.

Compulsive overeating is NOT just a disease of eating too much food; it is a disease of extremes in EVERYTHING.

OA has taught me to be more moderate with life...........with food, exercise, and behavior in general. I've learned to ditch the all-or-nothing mentality and settle into living in the moment.  When I don't project about tomorrow, I can handle today.

For today, I pray to not pass judgment on anyone, including myself,  for the next 24 hours.

For Today: September 6th

When one door of happiness closes, another opens;  but often we look so long  at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.

Helen Keller

It’s the end.  I had such hopes. What happened?

What happened was that God had other plans for me.  If I cling to what wasn’t—and can never be---I won’t see anything else.  If I keep moaning about what I thought I wanted, I’ll miss what is unfolding before my eyes.

My Higher Power knows what I need.  I can remember other closed doors, in each instance my life took a turn for the better, even though I may not have thought so at the time.  It will be no different now.

God is the producer of this show, not I.  When the next act begins, I want to be ready.

For Today:  I am willing to let go bygone happiness, and know that by letting go I become free to experience something new.  I may not see it now, but I have faith that it will come.

*********************************************************

"God is the producer of this show, not I."  When I remember that fact, I am able to let go of 'my way'and take what comes, with the knowledge that it's God's plan FOR me.  "My way" brought me to my knees in desperation, obesity & addiction.  "God's way" gives me freedom & a joy for life I never dreamed possible.

"Man plans & God laughs" is one of my favorite sayings.  Every morning when I wake up, I say a prayer putting my day in His hands and surrendering MY way. When I am at a loss over what to DO, I shoot up a prayer, sit back & await further instruction.  I do the footwork (by staying abstinent from my various addictions) and allow God to do the rest.

For today, I pray to stay the course, to do the footwork, and to have faith in the fact that whatever door may close for me, another WILL open and reveal something new & interesting for me.  I may not know the 'whys' of everything that happens, but I DO know that God has a plan for me & I accept that fact.

For Today: September 5th

What is dignity without honesty?
Cicero

Who says it is undignified for a grown woman or man to play ball with neighborhood kids or rollerskate down the middle of the street?  Dignity is a quality achieved by freeing myself of arrogance and self-importance.  When I present myself to the world as I really am, I attain an effortless dignity.  True dignity depends on honest self-respect that is without lies and without the temptation to see myself as better or worse than I am.  Accepting myself as I am confers a natural dignity upon me that is free of all pretense and is close to the humility I strive for on a daily basis.

For Today:  If I feel lacking in dignity, I look for incidents in which I may have been less than honest.

********************************************************************

The fear of looking foolish tends to prevent me from getting on rollerskates & breaking my neck in full view of the world! I'm not sure 'arrogance & self-importance' plays all that much of a role in it.............LOL.

I do strive to be more child-like though...........more innocent, more open, more willing to let loose and have fun. If I take myself too seriously, I tend to look at LIFE too seriously.  And, not every moment SHOULD be taken too seriously, right?

To laugh & to be as a child is to truly LIVE and to feel FREE!

For today, I will worry less about 'dignity' and more about FREEDOM! With God's help, I can live today with total honesty and humility.  Because therein lies Recovery!