HONESTY
“Honesty is the first chapter of the book of wisdom.”
Thomas Jefferson
Thomas Jefferson
Throughout my ups and downs in life and in working the Steps, I have discovered the importance of complete honesty. No matter what I feel or think, being honest about it with myself, others and God helps me to stay in a healthier state of physical, emotional and spiritual wellness. When I first started in the program, the idea of telling my Higher Power how I really felt was foreign to me. Sure I asked for help and “explained” what I was going through, but I didn’t often pour my heart out. I didn’t want to offend or burden God with complaints or weakness.
With the help of the Steps, I have let go of the formal prayers I learned in my youth and I more often tell God the way my life really is. Sometimes that includes sharing my negative attitude, crying, or just conversing casually with God. My Higher Power is full of acceptance and understanding and is pleased every time I share my honest thoughts and feelings with Him.
The years of denying and burying my feelings have resulted in an automatic reaction to not allow myself to feel or think straight in lots of situations. If I can take the time to identify exactly where I am and then honestly admit that to God and others (when needed), I have made progress.
Sharing my true self with a sponsor or in a meeting helps, too. It lifts the blinders from my eyes so that I can see my reality and proceed from there. If I hide from God, fool myself or deceive others, I rob myself of honesty which is the foundation of my progress towards serenity and wisdom.
One day at a time...
For today I will embrace my reality, the good and the bad. I will honestly admit my thoughts and feelings to myself, to another person and to God.~ Susanne
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Each Day A New Beginning
—Julia Morgan
How short is our vision of where an invitation might take us! Any invitation. Of one thing we can be certain, it offers an opportunity for making a choice, which means taking responsibility for who we're becoming. Choice making is growth enhancing because it strengthens our awareness of personal power.
Our lives unfold in small measures, just as small as they need to be for our personal comfort. It's doubtful that we could handle everything the future has in store, today; however, we will be prepared for it, measure by measure, choice by choice, day by day. We need not fear; what is meted out to us in the invitations offered is for our benefit. We are on a pathway to goodness.
The thrill of making choices is new to many of us when we enter this program. We'd opted for the passive life, all too often, and we became increasingly aware of, and often depressed by, our self-imposed powerlessness. Free at last! We are free at last to fully participate in our lives.
I will be grateful for the many options to act tugging at me today. Every choice I make strengthens my womanhood.
From Each Day
a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982,
1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
Food For Thought
As we work the OA program, we find that we cannot be rigorously honest about what we are eating unless we are rigorously honest about our other actions as well. Once our Higher Power takes charge of our lives, a general housecleaning occurs. Gradually, we see that the attitudes and activities, which undermine our integrity, have to go.
The housecleaning process can be painful. It involves facing aspects of ourselves, which we would prefer to remain hidden - our dependency, pride, selfishness, and avarice. Sex and money are often areas where our attitudes and practices need revision. What we are doing is shifting from an ego-centered to a God-centered orientation, and the shift is not always smooth.
Rigorous honesty shows up harmful relationships for what they are. It illumines our motives, which are not always the best. The love and care of our Higher Power support us as our weaknesses are exposed. Through His healing power, we are strengthened and made whole.
Grant me the ability to practice rigorous honesty in all areas of my life.
From Food for
Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992
by Hazelden Foundation.
The Language of Letting Go
I'm learning that for a variety of reasons, I've spent much of my life focusing on form rather than substance. My focus has been on having my hair done perfectly, wearing the right clothes, having my makeup applied perfectly, living in the right place, furnishing it with the right furniture, working at the right job, and having the right man. Form, rather than substance, has controlled my behavior in many areas of my life. Now, I'm finally getting to the truth. It's substance that counts.
—Anonymous
There is nothing wrong in wanting to look our best. Whether we are striving to create a self, a relationship, or a life, we need to have some solid ideas about what we want that to look like.
Form gives us a place to begin. But for many of us, form has been a substitute for substance. We may have focused on form to compensate for feeling afraid or feeling inferior. We may have focused on form because we didn't know how to focus on substance.
Form is the outline; substance is what fills it in. We fill in the outline of ourselves by being authentic; we fill in the outline of our life by showing up for life and participating to the best of our ability.
Now, in recovery, we're learning to pay attention to how things work and feel, not just to what they look like.
Today, I will focus on substance in my life. I will fill in the lines of myself with a real person - me. I will concentrate on the substance of my relationships, rather than what they look like. I will focus on the real working of my life, instead of the trappings.
From The
Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Today's Gift
...(the king) can deprive them of the benefit of sun and rain, . . . and they are at the same time pelted from above with great stones, . . . while the roofs of their houses are beaten to pieces.—Jonathan Swift
How do we punish those momentarily gone wrong? Do we try hurting with words - jab them in the heart with some spear-shaped phrases, slap them in the face with an insult or two? Maybe we like to poison them with a strong dose of silence. Have we tried to make them feel bad by making them feel sorry for us? Do we remind them daily that what went wrong with our lives is really all their fault?
We must remember that we are the rulers of our own lives only, and this knowledge gives us the power to punish only ourselves. It also gives us control over our lives, so that others' actions need not wrong us, and we need not punish.
Have I been punishing someone?
From Today's
Gift: Daily Meditations for Families ©1985, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
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