“You keep carryin’ that anger, it’ll eat you up inside.”
Don Henley
I have been carrying around so much anger in my life that it has fanned the flames of my addiction. I wouldn’t allow myself to feel the anger because I was afraid it would overwhelm me. I used food and other substances to stuff it down and the anger became rage and turned inward as depression. My compulsive eating spiraled out of control.Many things have happened to me to justify the anger I’ve been carrying. Healthy anger indicates that someone has violated my boundaries or placed me in an untenable position. Anger that is felt and then released is a healthy emotion. But anger that is stuffed is toxic and will surely corrode my spirit and trap me even further in the cycle of addiction.I have learned through the Twelve Steps that forgiveness is the only path to letting go of toxic anger. Forgiveness does not mean excusing others’ abusive behavior nor accepting my abusers back into my life. Forgiveness happens when I allow myself to feel and work through my anger, and then release it to my Higher Power. Forgiveness is self-love.One Day at a Time . . .
I will feel and express my healthy anger and strive for forgiveness.~ Suzanne
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Each Day A New Beginning
—Simone Weil
We don't want pain in our lives. We dread the situations we anticipate will be painful. We probably even pray to be spared all painful experiences. But they come anyway, at times in profusion. And we not only survive the pain, we profit from it.
It seems that pain stretches us to our limits, generally forcing us to look for guidance from others, and it pushes us to consider new choices in our present situation. Pain is our common denominator as women, as members of the human family. It softens us to one another. It fosters empathy. It helps us to reach out and realize our need for one another.
New knowledge, new awarenesses, are additional benefits of accepting, rather than denying, the pain that accompanies life. This journey that we're on is moving us further and further along the path of enlightenment. We can consider that each problem, each crisis, is our necessary preparation for moving another step down the road.
I learn out of necessity. And when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.
From Each Day
a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982,
1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
Food For Thought
Another of the seven deadly sins, which we do not talk much about anymore, is sloth. Webster defines it as laziness or indolence. It is our experience that the more we eat, the lazier we become. We procrastinate, we do not feel like undertaking anything difficult, and we avoid movement as much as possible.
Abstinence puts our bodies into high gear. With proper nourishment and without an excess amount of food to digest, we feel alert and alive. We find ourselves requiring less sleep and fewer naps. Lifetime habits of laziness do not change immediately, but if we are willing to become more energetic, our Higher Power will provide the motivation.
Sometimes the thought of a large task looming ahead of us is overwhelming, and we feel that we will never be able to manage it. Here is where the willingness to take one step at a time can make the difference. If we will begin, God will keep us going when the task is part of His plan.
Deliver us from slothfulness.
From Food for
Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992
by Hazelden Foundation.
The Language of Letting Go
Some people are carriers of negativity. They are storehouses of pent up anger and volatile emotions. Some remain trapped in the victim role and act in ways that further their victimization. And others are still caught in the cycle of addictive or compulsive patterns.
Negative energy can have a powerful pull on us, especially if we're struggling to maintain positive energy and balance. It may seem that others who exude negative energy would like to pull us into the darkness with them. We do not have to go. Without judgment, we can decide it's okay to walk away, okay to protect ourselves.
We cannot change other people. It does not help others for us to get off balance. We do not lead others into the Light by stepping into the darkness with them.
Today, God, help me to know that I don't have to allow myself to be pulled into negativity - even around those I love. Help me set boundaries. Help me know it's okay to take care of myself.
From The
Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Today's thought from the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:
I want to change things. I want to see things happen. I don't want just to talk about them.
--John Kenneth Galbraith
Newcomer
I feel as if I should be doing so much more than just staying in recovery and going to meetings. And yet, when I have free time, I'm not accomplishing much these days. I go to a meeting and then to coffee – "the meeting after the meeting," I've heard it called – and I get home and feel too tired to do any more. When I have a big block of time, I don't know how to use it. I feel confused and discouraged.
Sponsor
This point in recovery is a time to be especially gentle with ourselves. When we look back at how we were feeling and what we were doing just before we entered recovery, we can see that "just staying in recovery and going to meetings" is a major change. To be free from our addictive behavior, to keep a commitment to a program of recovery – this is nothing short of a total revolution in our lives. We have made a commitment to live, not to punish ourselves for not doing it faster and more perfectly.
"The meeting after the meeting" is not a waste of time. It's important to get to know our peers in recovery. We can learn from one another, support one another. The changes we're experiencing are mirrored back to us by others who are undergoing similar transformations. It gives us experience, too, at being with people without the "help" of our addictive substance or behavior.
We don't have to worry about wasting time in early recovery. It is a miracle that we can simply be.
Today, I let myself be.
I want to change things. I want to see things happen. I don't want just to talk about them.
--John Kenneth Galbraith
Newcomer
I feel as if I should be doing so much more than just staying in recovery and going to meetings. And yet, when I have free time, I'm not accomplishing much these days. I go to a meeting and then to coffee – "the meeting after the meeting," I've heard it called – and I get home and feel too tired to do any more. When I have a big block of time, I don't know how to use it. I feel confused and discouraged.
Sponsor
This point in recovery is a time to be especially gentle with ourselves. When we look back at how we were feeling and what we were doing just before we entered recovery, we can see that "just staying in recovery and going to meetings" is a major change. To be free from our addictive behavior, to keep a commitment to a program of recovery – this is nothing short of a total revolution in our lives. We have made a commitment to live, not to punish ourselves for not doing it faster and more perfectly.
"The meeting after the meeting" is not a waste of time. It's important to get to know our peers in recovery. We can learn from one another, support one another. The changes we're experiencing are mirrored back to us by others who are undergoing similar transformations. It gives us experience, too, at being with people without the "help" of our addictive substance or behavior.
We don't have to worry about wasting time in early recovery. It is a miracle that we can simply be.
Today, I let myself be.
You are reading from the book:
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