Recovery
Meditations: September 20th
FILLING THE VOID
“You can't have
everything.
Where would you put
it?”
Steven Wright.
I’d thought marriage alone would heal all the hurts I’d
gathered up in my life. My husband, also the product of a dysfunctional family,
felt the same way. We quickly learned that our love for each other was not
enough to our emptiness.
I was used to using food to temporarily fill my inner-holes;
he was used to abusing another substance to fill his. Neither worked well, and
we soon discovered that buying things we didn’t need would help to temporarily
fill some of our hurts. Pretty soon we had a house that was full of things we’d
bought that had given only a few moments of pleasure at best.
One of the benefits of program life is that I’ve learned to
fill the holes within me in ways that really work. I want to make my life more
simple and less cluttered. Three years later, I’m still getting rid of things
we bought and never used again. But the best part is we can go to the mall when
we really do need something and not feel the compulsion to buy something we
don’t need.
One day at a time...
I will use the
lessons I've learned working the program to finally heal the hurts within me instead
of looking for material things to repair these inner-holes.
~ Rhonda H.
************************************
Each Day A New Beginning
What difference does it make how I am treated by life? My real life is within.
—Angela L. Wozniak
It is said that we teach people how to treat us. How we treat others invites similar treatment. Our response to the external conditions of our lives can be greatly altered by our perceptions of those conditions. And we have control of that perception. No experience has to demoralize us. Each situation can be appreciated for its long-term contribution to our growth as happy, secure women.
No outside circumstances will offer us full time and forever the security we all long for. And in like manner, none will adversely interfere with our well being, except briefly and on occasion.
The program offers us the awareness that our security, happiness, and well being reside within. The uplifting moments of our lives may enhance our security, but they can't guarantee that it will last. Only the relationship we have with ourselves and God within can promise the gift of security.
The ripples in my day are reminders to me to go within.
—Angela L. Wozniak
It is said that we teach people how to treat us. How we treat others invites similar treatment. Our response to the external conditions of our lives can be greatly altered by our perceptions of those conditions. And we have control of that perception. No experience has to demoralize us. Each situation can be appreciated for its long-term contribution to our growth as happy, secure women.
No outside circumstances will offer us full time and forever the security we all long for. And in like manner, none will adversely interfere with our well being, except briefly and on occasion.
The program offers us the awareness that our security, happiness, and well being reside within. The uplifting moments of our lives may enhance our security, but they can't guarantee that it will last. Only the relationship we have with ourselves and God within can promise the gift of security.
The ripples in my day are reminders to me to go within.
Hazelden Foundation
**************************************
Food For Thought
A New Self-Image
As we lose weight, our self-image needs to change along with our body. We may have had a mental image of our self as a thin person, but this image probably did not go beyond the physical. If we continue to think of our self as the same confused, compulsive, childish person we once were, we are not facilitating our emotional and spiritual growth.
The OA program gives us the power to become a new person. If we see ourselves as daily growing saner, more serene, more confident, reality will reflect our inner vision.
Perhaps the most important change in our self-image involves our relationship to our Higher Power. Before, we probably saw ourselves as the center of our world and devoted our energies to protecting and building up our fragile ego. We were all alone in an unfriendly world. Now, we see ourselves as God's creation, subject to His purpose and plan. As we yield to His authority and accept His love, we find strength, security, and peace. By losing ourselves, we find ourselves.
Create in me a new self-image.
As we lose weight, our self-image needs to change along with our body. We may have had a mental image of our self as a thin person, but this image probably did not go beyond the physical. If we continue to think of our self as the same confused, compulsive, childish person we once were, we are not facilitating our emotional and spiritual growth.
The OA program gives us the power to become a new person. If we see ourselves as daily growing saner, more serene, more confident, reality will reflect our inner vision.
Perhaps the most important change in our self-image involves our relationship to our Higher Power. Before, we probably saw ourselves as the center of our world and devoted our energies to protecting and building up our fragile ego. We were all alone in an unfriendly world. Now, we see ourselves as God's creation, subject to His purpose and plan. As we yield to His authority and accept His love, we find strength, security, and peace. By losing ourselves, we find ourselves.
Create in me a new self-image.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.
******************************************
The Language of Letting Go
Spontaneity
In recovery, we're learning to let ourselves go! We're learning to be spontaneous.
Spontaneity may frighten some of us. We may be afraid of the loss of control involved with spontaneity. We may still be operating under the codependent rules that prohibit spontaneity: be good; be right; be perfect; be strong; don't have fun; and always be in control.
We may associate spontaneity with acting out in an addictive, compulsive, self destructive, or irresponsible manner.
That's not what we're talking about in recovery. Positive spontaneity involves freely expressing who we are - in a way that is fun, healthy, doesn't hurt us, and doesn't infringe on the right of others.
We learn to be spontaneous and free as we grow in self-awareness and self esteem. Spontaneity emerges as our confidence and trust in ourselves increase, and we become more secure in our ability to maintain healthy boundaries.
Being spontaneous is connected to our ability to play and achieve intimacy. For all those desirable acts, we need to be able to let go of our need to control others and ourselves and fully and freely enter into the present moment.
Let go of your tight rein on yourself. So what if you make a mistake? So what if you're wrong? Relish your imperfections. Let yourself be a little needy, a little vulnerable. Take a risk!
We can be spontaneous without hurting ourselves, or others. In fact, everyone will benefit by our spontaneity.
Today, I will throw out the rulebook and enjoy being who I am. I will have some fun with the gift of life, others, and myself.
In recovery, we're learning to let ourselves go! We're learning to be spontaneous.
Spontaneity may frighten some of us. We may be afraid of the loss of control involved with spontaneity. We may still be operating under the codependent rules that prohibit spontaneity: be good; be right; be perfect; be strong; don't have fun; and always be in control.
We may associate spontaneity with acting out in an addictive, compulsive, self destructive, or irresponsible manner.
That's not what we're talking about in recovery. Positive spontaneity involves freely expressing who we are - in a way that is fun, healthy, doesn't hurt us, and doesn't infringe on the right of others.
We learn to be spontaneous and free as we grow in self-awareness and self esteem. Spontaneity emerges as our confidence and trust in ourselves increase, and we become more secure in our ability to maintain healthy boundaries.
Being spontaneous is connected to our ability to play and achieve intimacy. For all those desirable acts, we need to be able to let go of our need to control others and ourselves and fully and freely enter into the present moment.
Let go of your tight rein on yourself. So what if you make a mistake? So what if you're wrong? Relish your imperfections. Let yourself be a little needy, a little vulnerable. Take a risk!
We can be spontaneous without hurting ourselves, or others. In fact, everyone will benefit by our spontaneity.
Today, I will throw out the rulebook and enjoy being who I am. I will have some fun with the gift of life, others, and myself.
Today's thought from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:
In everyone's heart stirs a great homesickness.
--Rabbi Seymour Siegel
We ask ourselves what drove us to do some of the things we did? We went to extremes even when we knew our actions were not rational. Still today, we are drawn to extremes. At times we still long for things that we know will hurt us. Are we puzzled by these desires?
Wise men and prophets have searched their own deep truths to understand their desires and longings. Many say that our desires and hungers are, at the base of our being, a search for a spiritual home, a place where we know we are welcome, safe, and loved. Perhaps we are all born longing for that home. Maybe we first taste it when we first experience the warmth of loving and caring parents, even when it was only a taste, and only partially satisfied. Then we spend the rest of our lives in pursuit of that good feeling again.
The wisdom of the Twelve Steps points us toward that spiritual home, a lifetime of growth and development follows in which we feel the spirit in our fellowship with other men and women, and we learn from others how they have found their way home.
Today the stirring in my heart will be a sign of my spiritual longing.
In everyone's heart stirs a great homesickness.
--Rabbi Seymour Siegel
We ask ourselves what drove us to do some of the things we did? We went to extremes even when we knew our actions were not rational. Still today, we are drawn to extremes. At times we still long for things that we know will hurt us. Are we puzzled by these desires?
Wise men and prophets have searched their own deep truths to understand their desires and longings. Many say that our desires and hungers are, at the base of our being, a search for a spiritual home, a place where we know we are welcome, safe, and loved. Perhaps we are all born longing for that home. Maybe we first taste it when we first experience the warmth of loving and caring parents, even when it was only a taste, and only partially satisfied. Then we spend the rest of our lives in pursuit of that good feeling again.
The wisdom of the Twelve Steps points us toward that spiritual home, a lifetime of growth and development follows in which we feel the spirit in our fellowship with other men and women, and we learn from others how they have found their way home.
Today the stirring in my heart will be a sign of my spiritual longing.
You are reading from the book:
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