Recovery
Meditations: July 9th
CONTROL
“I offer you this
prayer for all the difficult relationships in our lives:
God, grant me the
serenity to accept the people I cannot change,
The courage to change
the person I can,
And the wisdom to know
that person is me.”
Rev. Mary Manin
Morrissey
My disease tells me that my life would be so much better if
people would only do what I tell them to do. If they would listen to me, I could
solve all their problems, fix their lives, and everybody would be happy. Why
can't they see that our relationships would be better if they'd just do what I
say, and not what I do? Don't they realize that I know more than they do about
how to run their lives?
Well, luckily for the people in my life, this disease lies.
I DON'T know what's best for them. Because I have a disease of compulsion, I
don't even know what's best for me. If I had known what was best for me, my
life would not have been in shambles like it was before I found the Twelve
Steps of recovery.
I had to come to the realization that my life had become
unmanageable. Only then could I find a Higher Power to restore sanity to the
crazy drama that had become my life ~ and to grant me the serenity which
accompanies sanity. Now I realize the only person I can control is myself. I
can't make other people change into what I want them to be, nor can I make them
do what I think is best for them. Since I've begun letting my Higher Power
restore me to sanity, I no longer want to be a control freak. I can't even
fathom trying to run another person's life. I have enough on my hands just
living my own life; I don't have the strength, knowledge or wisdom to live
someone else's. I will always be grateful to my Higher Power for helping me to
realize that.
One day at a time...
I will live my own
life and allow others to live theirs.
~ Jeff
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Each Day a New Beginning
Of course, fortune has its part in human affairs, but conduct is really much more important.
—Jeanne Detourbey
It's not infrequent that we are faced with a dilemma; what is the best action to take in a certain situation? We can be guided, rightly, in every situation if we but turn inward and let our conscience direct our behavior. We have often heard it said at meetings that when we long for a message from God we will hear it, either through our conscience or in the words of our friends. Thus we can never really be in doubt; our conduct can always be above reproach if we but listen.
Right behavior leads to fortunate opportunities for those who look for them. Behavior that we're proud of seems to attract blessings in our lives. One's good fortune is really God-given and in proportion to one's willingness to act well toward others in all situations.
Simply, what goes around comes around. Our behavior comes back to us many fold. In our encounters with others today, we'll have numerous occasions to decide about the best behavior for the particular circumstance. We must not forget that our behavior elicits the responses we receive.
I will invite blessings today. I will also shower blessings on my friends.
—Jeanne Detourbey
It's not infrequent that we are faced with a dilemma; what is the best action to take in a certain situation? We can be guided, rightly, in every situation if we but turn inward and let our conscience direct our behavior. We have often heard it said at meetings that when we long for a message from God we will hear it, either through our conscience or in the words of our friends. Thus we can never really be in doubt; our conduct can always be above reproach if we but listen.
Right behavior leads to fortunate opportunities for those who look for them. Behavior that we're proud of seems to attract blessings in our lives. One's good fortune is really God-given and in proportion to one's willingness to act well toward others in all situations.
Simply, what goes around comes around. Our behavior comes back to us many fold. In our encounters with others today, we'll have numerous occasions to decide about the best behavior for the particular circumstance. We must not forget that our behavior elicits the responses we receive.
I will invite blessings today. I will also shower blessings on my friends.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey
© 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
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Food for Thought
Tension or Hunger?
How often have we eaten because of tension, rather than hunger? Accepting our need for three measured meals a day with nothing in between establishes a sensible pattern, which satisfies our need for nourishment. When we are tense, we can find ways of relaxing which do not harm our body by making it fat.
Learning to relax the stomach muscles helps get rid of tension hunger. Often when we have eaten too fast because of tension, our stomach continues to send hunger signals after the meal. There has not been enough time for the digestive process to register satisfaction. We can consciously relax the muscles so that the feeling of emptiness will go away.
The best cure for tension is a growing faith in our Higher Power. If we are willing to trust Him in the little things of each day, as well as the big events of our life, we will be able to relax and cultivate serenity.
Dissolve my tension and feed my hunger, I pray.
How often have we eaten because of tension, rather than hunger? Accepting our need for three measured meals a day with nothing in between establishes a sensible pattern, which satisfies our need for nourishment. When we are tense, we can find ways of relaxing which do not harm our body by making it fat.
Learning to relax the stomach muscles helps get rid of tension hunger. Often when we have eaten too fast because of tension, our stomach continues to send hunger signals after the meal. There has not been enough time for the digestive process to register satisfaction. We can consciously relax the muscles so that the feeling of emptiness will go away.
The best cure for tension is a growing faith in our Higher Power. If we are willing to trust Him in the little things of each day, as well as the big events of our life, we will be able to relax and cultivate serenity.
Dissolve my tension and feed my hunger, I pray.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L.
©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation
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The Language of Letting Go
Overspending and Underspending
I used to beat my husband to death with my credit card. It made me feel like I had some control, some way to get even with him.
—Anonymous
I spent ten years buying everything for myself at garage sales. I didn't even buy myself a new pair of shoes. The entire time I was depriving myself, my husband was gambling, speculating on risky business deals, and doing whatever he wanted with money. I learned that when I made a decision that I deserved to have the things I wanted, and made a decision to buy something I wanted, there was enough money to do it. It wasn't about being frugal; it was about depriving myself, and being a martyr.
—Anonymous
Compulsive buying or overspending may give us a temporary feeling of power or satisfaction, but like other out of control behaviors, it has predictable negative consequences.
Under spending can leave us feeling victimized too.
There is a difference between responsible spending and martyred deprivation. There is a difference between treating ourselves well financially and overspending. We can learn to discern that difference. We can develop responsible spending habits that reflect high self-esteem and love for ourselves.
Today, I will strive for balance in my spending habits. If I am overspending, I will stop and deal with what's going on inside me. If I am under spending or depriving myself, I will ask myself if that's necessary and what I want.
I used to beat my husband to death with my credit card. It made me feel like I had some control, some way to get even with him.
—Anonymous
I spent ten years buying everything for myself at garage sales. I didn't even buy myself a new pair of shoes. The entire time I was depriving myself, my husband was gambling, speculating on risky business deals, and doing whatever he wanted with money. I learned that when I made a decision that I deserved to have the things I wanted, and made a decision to buy something I wanted, there was enough money to do it. It wasn't about being frugal; it was about depriving myself, and being a martyr.
—Anonymous
Compulsive buying or overspending may give us a temporary feeling of power or satisfaction, but like other out of control behaviors, it has predictable negative consequences.
Under spending can leave us feeling victimized too.
There is a difference between responsible spending and martyred deprivation. There is a difference between treating ourselves well financially and overspending. We can learn to discern that difference. We can develop responsible spending habits that reflect high self-esteem and love for ourselves.
Today, I will strive for balance in my spending habits. If I am overspending, I will stop and deal with what's going on inside me. If I am under spending or depriving myself, I will ask myself if that's necessary and what I want.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
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Today's thought from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:
As one goes through life, one learns that if you don't paddle your own canoe, you don't move.
--Katharine Hepburn
Newcomer
I appreciate the fact that you remain friendly and even-tempered even though I don't always follow your advice.
Sponsor
Friends can disagree without having to end their relationship. I might have trouble sponsoring someone who never attends meetings, someone who has frequent relapses, or someone who complains about his or her problems without ever being willing to attempt the Steps. But occasional disagreements are a part of life.
A sponsor's suggestions aren't commands, any more than the Twelve Steps are. As a sponsor, I only make suggestions; even though they're based on my experience, I'm not always right about what will work for another person. And I may misjudge what another person's timetable is. I'm not infallible. I try not to let my ego get in the way, to feel hurt or angry when you need to try something on your own. Learning to make your own decisions is necessary to growth.
Each of us makes his or her own way through the process of recovery. We learn more from our own experiences, good and bad, than from anything we read in a book or hear at a meeting.
Today, I learn from my experience.
As one goes through life, one learns that if you don't paddle your own canoe, you don't move.
--Katharine Hepburn
Newcomer
I appreciate the fact that you remain friendly and even-tempered even though I don't always follow your advice.
Sponsor
Friends can disagree without having to end their relationship. I might have trouble sponsoring someone who never attends meetings, someone who has frequent relapses, or someone who complains about his or her problems without ever being willing to attempt the Steps. But occasional disagreements are a part of life.
A sponsor's suggestions aren't commands, any more than the Twelve Steps are. As a sponsor, I only make suggestions; even though they're based on my experience, I'm not always right about what will work for another person. And I may misjudge what another person's timetable is. I'm not infallible. I try not to let my ego get in the way, to feel hurt or angry when you need to try something on your own. Learning to make your own decisions is necessary to growth.
Each of us makes his or her own way through the process of recovery. We learn more from our own experiences, good and bad, than from anything we read in a book or hear at a meeting.
Today, I learn from my experience.
You are reading from the book:
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