Recovery Meditations: September 20th
FILLING THE VOID
“You can't have everything.
Where would you put it?”
Steven Wright.
I’d thought marriage alone would heal all the hurts I’d gathered up in my life. My husband, also the product of a dysfunctional family, felt the same way. We quickly learned that our love for each other was not enough to fill our emptiness.
I was used to using food to temporarily fill my inner-holes; he was used to abusing another substance to fill his. Neither worked well, and we soon discovered that buying things we didn’t need would help to temporarily fill some of our hurts. Pretty soon we had a house that was full of things we’d bought that had given only a few moments of pleasure at best.
One of the benefits of program life is that I’ve learned to fill the holes within me in ways that really work. I want to make my life more simple and less cluttered. Three years later, I’m still getting rid of things we bought and never used again. But the best part is we can go to the mall when we really do need something and not feel the compulsion to buy something we don’t need.
One day at a time...
I will use the lessons I've learned working the program to finally heal the hurts within me instead of looking for material things to repair these inner-holes.
~ Rhonda H.
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Each Day a New Beginning
What difference does it make how I am treated by life? My real life is within.
—Angela L. Wozniak
It is said that we teach people how to treat us. How we treat others invites similar treatment. Our response to the external conditions of our lives can be greatly altered by our perceptions of those conditions. And we have control of that perception. No experience has to demoralize us. Each situation can be appreciated for its long-term contribution to our growth as happy, secure women.
No outside circumstances will offer us full time and forever the security we all long for. And in like manner, none will adversely interfere with our well being, except briefly and on occasion.
The program offers us the awareness that our security, happiness, and well being reside within. The uplifting moments of our lives may enhance our security, but they can't guarantee that it will last. Only the relationship we have with ourselves and God within can promise the gift of security.
The ripples in my day are reminders to me to go within.
—Angela L. Wozniak
It is said that we teach people how to treat us. How we treat others invites similar treatment. Our response to the external conditions of our lives can be greatly altered by our perceptions of those conditions. And we have control of that perception. No experience has to demoralize us. Each situation can be appreciated for its long-term contribution to our growth as happy, secure women.
No outside circumstances will offer us full time and forever the security we all long for. And in like manner, none will adversely interfere with our well being, except briefly and on occasion.
The program offers us the awareness that our security, happiness, and well being reside within. The uplifting moments of our lives may enhance our security, but they can't guarantee that it will last. Only the relationship we have with ourselves and God within can promise the gift of security.
The ripples in my day are reminders to me to go within.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey
© 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
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Food for Thought
A New Self-Image
As we lose weight, our self-image needs to change along with our body. We may have had a mental image of our self as a thin person, but this image probably did not go beyond the physical. If we continue to think of our self as the same confused, compulsive, childish person we once were, we are not facilitating our emotional and spiritual growth.
The OA program gives us the power to become a new person. If we see ourselves as daily growing saner, more serene, more confident, reality will reflect our inner vision.
Perhaps the most important change in our self-image involves our relationship to our Higher Power. Before, we probably saw ourselves as the center of our world and devoted our energies to protecting and building up our fragile ego. We were all alone in an unfriendly world. Now, we see ourselves as God's creation, subject to His purpose and plan. As we yield to His authority and accept His love, we find strength, security, and peace. By losing ourselves, we find ourselves.
Create in me a new self-image.
As we lose weight, our self-image needs to change along with our body. We may have had a mental image of our self as a thin person, but this image probably did not go beyond the physical. If we continue to think of our self as the same confused, compulsive, childish person we once were, we are not facilitating our emotional and spiritual growth.
The OA program gives us the power to become a new person. If we see ourselves as daily growing saner, more serene, more confident, reality will reflect our inner vision.
Perhaps the most important change in our self-image involves our relationship to our Higher Power. Before, we probably saw ourselves as the center of our world and devoted our energies to protecting and building up our fragile ego. We were all alone in an unfriendly world. Now, we see ourselves as God's creation, subject to His purpose and plan. As we yield to His authority and accept His love, we find strength, security, and peace. By losing ourselves, we find ourselves.
Create in me a new self-image.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L.
©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.
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The Language of Letting Go
Spontaneity
In recovery, we're learning to let ourselves go! We're learning to be spontaneous.
Spontaneity may frighten some of us. We may be afraid of the loss of control involved with spontaneity. We may still be operating under the codependent rules that prohibit spontaneity: be good; be right; be perfect; be strong; don't have fun; and always be in control.
We may associate spontaneity with acting out in an addictive, compulsive, self destructive, or irresponsible manner.
That's not what we're talking about in recovery. Positive spontaneity involves freely expressing who we are - in a way that is fun, healthy, doesn't hurt us, and doesn't infringe on the right of others.
We learn to be spontaneous and free as we grow in self-awareness and self esteem. Spontaneity emerges as our confidence and trust in ourselves increase, and we become more secure in our ability to maintain healthy boundaries.
Being spontaneous is connected to our ability to play and achieve intimacy. For all those desirable acts, we need to be able to let go of our need to control others and ourselves and fully and freely enter into the present moment.
Let go of your tight rein on yourself. So what if you make a mistake? So what if you're wrong? Relish your imperfections. Let yourself be a little needy, a little vulnerable. Take a risk!
We can be spontaneous without hurting ourselves, or others. In fact, everyone will benefit by our spontaneity.
Today, I will throw out the rulebook and enjoy being who I am. I will have some fun with the gift of life, others, and myself.
In recovery, we're learning to let ourselves go! We're learning to be spontaneous.
Spontaneity may frighten some of us. We may be afraid of the loss of control involved with spontaneity. We may still be operating under the codependent rules that prohibit spontaneity: be good; be right; be perfect; be strong; don't have fun; and always be in control.
We may associate spontaneity with acting out in an addictive, compulsive, self destructive, or irresponsible manner.
That's not what we're talking about in recovery. Positive spontaneity involves freely expressing who we are - in a way that is fun, healthy, doesn't hurt us, and doesn't infringe on the right of others.
We learn to be spontaneous and free as we grow in self-awareness and self esteem. Spontaneity emerges as our confidence and trust in ourselves increase, and we become more secure in our ability to maintain healthy boundaries.
Being spontaneous is connected to our ability to play and achieve intimacy. For all those desirable acts, we need to be able to let go of our need to control others and ourselves and fully and freely enter into the present moment.
Let go of your tight rein on yourself. So what if you make a mistake? So what if you're wrong? Relish your imperfections. Let yourself be a little needy, a little vulnerable. Take a risk!
We can be spontaneous without hurting ourselves, or others. In fact, everyone will benefit by our spontaneity.
Today, I will throw out the rulebook and enjoy being who I am. I will have some fun with the gift of life, others, and myself.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
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The only way out is through. The only way to heal the pain is to embrace the pain.
--Fritz Perls
You are like a diamond that is continually being polished and perfected. As this purification proceeds, old thought forms and negative patterns rise to the surface to be released. Past unfinished business must be completed. Old traumas that have been stored in the body ask to be discharged.
This is not a bad thing - far from it. The fact that painful events are being re-experienced is a sign that healing is taking place. Although you may feel tempted to run from these feelings, let yourself experience them. As you allow yourself to feel the pain, the pain diminishes and eventually disappears.
Spirit is always helping you to release that which you no longer need. Let go of the resistance and surrender to the process. Complete the past and move on. Once you have done the work, you will never have to repeat it. How good it feels to be free!
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