Food for Thought: August 23rd

Envy

When my inside looked at your outside, I overate. Envy of what others seemed to be and of the possessions they had was a prime trigger for overeating, turning to food to compensate for an apparent lack. No amount of food can satisfy envy.

Why is it that the other person seems so much more fortunate, or talented, or happier than we? We are painfully aware of our own inadequacies and quick to envy whoever appears to "have it together." Looking at the outside image or mask is deceptive, however, and prevents us from seeing that underneath is a fellow human being beset with problems and difficulties just as we are.

Who we are, where we are, and what we have is God's gift to us. What we do with ourselves is our gift to God. The more we seek to do His will, the less we envy our neighbor's abilities and possessions. The peace of mind we receive through this program fills us with such gratitude that there is increasingly less room for envy.

Take away my envy, I pray.

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.

***********************************************************************

I don't know of a single compulsive overeater who doesn't compare herself or himself to another.  We look to compare OUR flaws with THEIR talents!  I look at a co-worker who is 5'10" tall with legs that go on forever. Then I look down at my short legs, and feel like I am inadequate?

Envy is a waste of time and a dangerous pre-occupation that threatens my peace of mind. No amount of food can satisfy envy, just as no amount of food can fill ANY void within. Comparing my insides to your outsides is a recipe for disaster!

For today, I myself have it 'together'. I do not need to look for happiness outside of my OWN soul; it's already there inside of me, and I am not afraid to let it OUT!

For today, my gift to God is to love MYSELF and to treat myself with respect and acceptance. 

The Language of Letting Go: August 22nd

Responsibility for Family Members

I can still remember my mother clutching her heart, threatening to have a heart attack and die, and blaming it on me.
—Anonymous

For some of us, the idea that we were responsible for other people's feelings had its roots in childhood and was established by members of our nuclear family. We may have been told that we made our mother or father miserable, leading directly to the idea that we were also responsible for making them happy. The idea that we are responsible for our parents' happiness or misery can instill exaggerated feelings of power and guilt in us.

We do not have this kind of power over our parents - over their feelings, or over the course of their lives. We do not have to allow them to have this kind of power over us.

Our parents did the best they could. But we still do not have to accept one belief from them that is not a healthy belief. They may be our parents, but they are not always right. They may be our parents, but their beliefs and behaviors are not always healthy and in our best interest.

We are free to examine and choose our beliefs.

Let go of guilt. Let go of excessive and inappropriate feelings of responsibility toward parents and other family members. We do not have to allow their destructive beliefs to control our feelings, our behaviors, our life, or us.

Today, I will begin the process of setting myself free from any self-defeating beliefs my parents passed on to me. I will strive for appropriate ideas and boundaries concerning how much power and how much responsibility I can actually have in my relationship with my parents.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

__________________
My Health Coach Website
My Blog

 

*********************************************************************

 

This reading resonates strongly with me. I've carried the burden of trying to make my parents happy for the past half-a-century. I always fall short of that goal........I almost get there, and then WHAM! Another failure.  

 

Awhile ago, I finally gave up thinking it was my responsibility to make them happy. I am not responsible for their feelings, nor have I been appointed The Entertainment Committee.  I do not have this power nor do I deserve to suffer guilt over not being the perfect daughter.

 

Destructive & dysfunctional beliefs have indeed been passed down to me, but it is MY responsibility to set myself free from that thinking!

How does all of this have anything to do with compulsive overeating? Every time I am in my parents' presence, it's all I can do not to run down to the crack-house grocery store and buy me a big ole bag of junk food to 'comfort' myself. Nobody on earth has the power to make me feel badly about myself like my folks.  Then, when I get to feeling that way, why not punish my 'bad self' with garbage?

I've taken my mother grocery shopping and found myself holding onto a bag of junk food, just for the feeling of security it gave me!

For today, I will strive to set boundaries my with parents; I will continue the process of setting myself free from self-defeating beliefs and negative thought processes that were passed along to me. 

For today, I will trust God to guide me accordingly. And I will trust my Food Plan to keep me on the straight & narrow.......to be my security blanket in times of stress.

Food for Thought: August 21st

Fake Gods

Our Higher Power is that which we can turn to in times of stress. In the past, we turned to food, thus making it in fact our Higher Power, even though we may not have realized what we were doing. Food is not capable of being a Higher Power for anyone; food is a thing. By turning to food in stressful situations, we cheated ourselves with a false god.

Lurking in the back of our mind, there may still be some false gods. We may think that more money or an exciting love affair would give us permanent security and happiness. The desire for popularity may be deluding us into thinking that we can please everyone if we try hard enough.

The beauty of the OA program is that it shows us, day by day, the Higher Power who will not let us down. As we see our false gods for what they are, we grow in truth. Daily communion with God as each of us understands Him gives us an intimate relationship with the One to whom we can turn in times of stress.

Thank You for revealing my false gods.

************************************************************************

To be enslaved to food is to worship IT instead of God. Emotional eating creates more stress than it cures & I wind up cheating myself by stuffing down my feelings instead of experiencing them!

During my lifetime, I have gone from rags to riches & back down to rags again. What I've learned is that money isn't really important. As long as I have enough to pay my bills, I'm good to go.  The old Beatles song, "Money Can't Buy Me Love" is spot on. 

An exciting love affair would only be temporarily exciting.........to make an impulsive decision like that would risk my marriage & set me up to hate myself for acting immorally. 

Desires are not needs. Desires lead me to never feeling satisfied, no matter what. 

For today, may I remember that I have everything I need. Whatever isn't a need is a want, and I pray to be relieved of such desires.

For today, may I remember that God is my Higher Power, not food. He can give me exactly what I need, exactly when I need it. May I trust in Him and follow the intuitive guidance that He provides.

Recovery Meditations: August 20th

~ I AM ~

"I yam what I yam."

Popeye, the Sailor Man


When did I start believing that being myself was bad? Was it the first time I did something 'wrong' in the eyes of an adult? Do I remember the day I went from being a bright-eyed child to a shadow of a being? Whenever it occurred, as time progressed, I began to trust that being myself was somehow shameful.

It's hardly a wonder that I turned to food and other addictions. After all, food never spoke badly of me, yet it did darken my spirit. Every compulsive bite dampened my light.

Thank God for this program! It has taught me that those people of my past, however well-meaning, were wrong. Being me is good. In fact, it's better than good. It's wonderful! Without me, this world would be a little darker, a little more lost. That is why I am here, why God created me, to be a light for the world.

One Day at a Time . . .
I realize that it is through God and this fellowship that I am able to shine.

~Debbie~

__________________
My Health Coach Website
My Blog

 

****************************************************************************

 

I do remember the first time I started believing that being myself was bad. It was when I was told I was adopted, at the age of 5 years old. That knowledge tore my world apart, and left me feeling alienated and belonging to nothing and nobody. Alone in the Universe.

 

If my own mother 'didn't want' me, abandoning me after my birth, how could I possibly be worth anything?

 

I would spend the next several decades asking that question and seeking an answer.

 

Excess food helped me cope with my 'shame' and 'unworthiness.'  Food helped me cope with being different. Food helped me stuff down that which could not be processed, as a small child.  Unfortunately, food also squashed down my spirit & dampened my light.

 

I am a child of God, created by Him to be a light for the world.  I am unique and lovable, a member of the human race and I am NEVER alone in the Universe.  

 

For today, and for every other day of my life, I am good enough.

Recovery Meditations: August 19th

AMENDS

“If you have behaved badly, repent;
make what amends you can and address yourself to the task
of behaving better next time. On no account brood over your
wrongdoing. Rolling in the muck is not the best
way of getting clean.”

Aldous Huxley


I grew up with high expectations of perfection and a constant feeling of failure. I seldom recognized truly bad behavior in myself, but instead I apologized for the things I had taken on as my responsibility that were not under my control. I apologized when the weather spoiled plans. I apologized for an adult family member’s poor behavior. I felt intense shame when I accidentally slipped and fell, sure that I'd embarrassed the people with me. Yet I was oblivious to how I snapped at people simply because I was in a HALTS (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, Sick) place. My temper was quick to rise and explode, but I always told myself I had a “good” excuse or cause.

On the other hand, I could feel so mortified over my behavior that it haunted me night and day for weeks, and even months, after the incident; long after any witness could recall it. Years later a phrase would bring the memory back to the forefront and shame me all over again as though it had happened mere minutes before.

I couldn’t seem to find a truthful middle ground until I began working the Twelve Steps. In studying the Steps I learned how to uncover and acknowledge the wrongs for which I am sincerely responsible, how to make proper amends, and how to let go and move on.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will remember that I am responsible only for my own behavior and actions. With the help of my Higher Power, I will acknowledge my wrongdoings quickly and make loving amends.

~ Rhonda H.

__________________
My Health Coach Website
My Blog

 

******************************************************************

 

  Shame is that dark, powerful feeling that holds us back. Yes, shame can stop us from acting inappropriately. But many of us have learned to attach shame to healthy behaviors that are in our best interest.

In dysfunctional families, shame can be tagged to healthy behaviors such as talking about feelings, making choices, taking care of ourselves, having fun, being successful, or even feeling good about ourselves.

Shame may have been attached to asking for what we want and need, to communicating directly and honestly, and to giving and receiving love.

Sometimes shame disguises itself as fear, rage, indifference, or a need to run and hide, wrote Stephanie E. But if it feels dark and makes us feel bad about being who we are, it's probably shame.

In recovery, we are learning to identify shame. When we can recognize it, we can begin to let go of it. We can love and accept ourselves - starting now.

We have a right to be, to be here, and to be who we are. And we don't ever have to let shame tell us any differently.

Today, I will attack and conquer the shame in my life.

Food for Thought: August 18th

Self-Respect

When we were overeating, we did not have much self-respect. Because we felt guilty about the quantity of food we were consuming and the way we looked, we had a very poor self-image. Since we did not respect ourselves, we did not act in a way which evoked respect from others. We put ourselves down and allowed other people to use us.

Abstinence and the OA program produce a change, which is often astonishing. Our self-respect grows in direct proportion to the control we acquire. When we stop overeating and begin to live in accordance with the will of our Higher Power, we can accept and respect ourselves. Those around us respond to us differently as our own attitude improves.

What we realize is that self-respect and inner acceptance are more important than any external approval or disapproval. Instead of living for the admiration of others, we seek each day to follow the will of our Higher Power.

I am grateful for the self-respect OA has given me.

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.

__________________
My Health Coach Website
My Blog

 

******************************************************************

 

When I am at peace with myself is when I realize the enormity of Abstinence. Without it, I dwell in self-hatred, guilt, and poor self-image. I allow others to take advantage of me, since I see myself as 'less than'. I compare myself to others, and I always come up SHORT! What a waste of precious time all THAT nonsense is!!!!!!!

 

Today, I choose to stay Abstinent & to live in the present moment. God has a plan for me, and I recognize that I am exactly where I NEED to be right now.  I will feel my emotions without eating or drinking them away.  Numbing myself to life prevents me from living a full and joyous life.  I no longer care to stuff down that which feels 'uncomfortable.'  Discomfort has a lesson in it..........and coming through that unease without 'using' empowers me to do it again. And again.

 

For today, I will treat myself with the same respect and kindness I use for others.  For today, I accept myself as a child of God and a worthy human being. 

For today, I will place Abstinence on the TOP of my priority list. Without it, I fall back down into the abyss of misery.  

Food For Thought: August 17th

Food for Thought

Punishing Ourselves

Most of us have been carrying around a load of guilt. We felt guilty about overeating and periodically used dieting as a form of self-punishment. We felt guilty about not being perfect, and we felt guilty unless we said yes to everything that everyone expected of us.

In this program, we learn to accept the fact that we are human and not perfect. Through the Steps, we are able to get rid of unnecessary guilt and make a fresh start each day. We do not need to continue to punish ourselves for past mistakes, either by overeating or by denying our legitimate rights as individuals.

Abstinence gives us freedom from compulsive overeating and freedom from self-punishment. We give our bodies what they need, and we also nourish our minds, hearts, and spirits. In our fellowship and in our contact with God as we understand Him, we experience the Power of love which wipes out guilt.

I am glad to learn that self-punishment is no longer necessary.

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.

__________________
My Health Coach Website
My Blog

*********************************************************************

Dieting IS a form of punishment, and so is binging. Guilt had me by the throat and led me down the road to yo-yo dieting for 40 years. My quest for perfection had me either starving or compulsively overeating.....what I call the 'all or nothing' mentality.

 Today I choose to stop punishing myself & to think healing thoughts.

When you feel anger or resentment, ask God to help you feel it, learn from it, and then release it. Ask Him to bless those who you feel anger toward. Ask Him to bless you too.

When you feel fear, ask Him to take it from you. When you feel misery, force gratitude. When you feel deprived, know that there is enough.

When you feel ashamed, reassure yourself that who you are is okay. You are good enough.

When you doubt your timing or your present position in life, assure yourself that all is well; you are right where you're meant to be.

When you ponder the future, tell yourself that it will be good. When you look back at the past, relinquish regrets.

When you notice problems, affirm there will be a timely solution and a gift coming FROM the problem.

When you resist feelings or thoughts, practice acceptance. When you feel discomfort, know it will pass. When you identify a want or a need, tell yourself it will be met.

When you worry about those you love, ask God to protect and care for them. When you worry about yourself, ask Him to do the same.

When you think about others, think love. When you think about yourself, think love.

Then watch your thoughts transform reality.

"Change your thoughts and you change your world." ~Norman Vincent Peale

Thought from Hazelden: August 16th

Imagine living in your head, untrue to your heart.
Imagine the pain of separation.
Imagine the depth of the longing for peace.
--G. Carol

Before finding recovery as a way of life, many of us barely hung on from one pain-filled moment to another. We incessantly tried to figure out what was wrong with our lives. We feared everything: our coworkers, our neighbors, the long days, the new experiences, the many strangers who crossed our paths. Miraculously, we were led to this program.

We can experience the joy of peace each time we remember to turn our will and lives over to the care of our loving God. To receive this goodness, we need only an open heart and a willingness to listen for the guidance of God. This guidance may come to us through a special passage in a book, the words of a friend, or in other ways. If we believe that the guidance will come, we will hear it.

I want to know God's will for me today. I will be attentive every moment.

You are reading from the book:
A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

********************************************************************

Fear & misery was my norm; it's what I expected of life & of myself.  Recovery taught me the error of my ways.

 Many of us have developed the belief that depriving ourselves, not taking care of ourselves, being a victim, and suffering needlessly will get us what we want.

It is our job to notice our abilities, our strengths, and take care of ourselves by developing and acting on them.

It is our job to notice our pain and weariness and appropriately take care of ourselves.

It is our job to notice our deprivation, too, and begin to take steps to give ourselves abundance. It begins inside of us, by changing what we believe we deserve, by giving up our deprivation and treating ourselves the way we deserve to be treated.

Life is hard, but we don't have to make it more difficult by neglecting ourselves. There is no glory in suffering, only suffering. Our pain will not stop when a rescuer comes, but when we take responsibility for ourselves and stop our own pain.

Today, I will be my own rescuer. I will stop waiting for someone else to work through my issues and solve my problems for me.

For today, with God's help, I will take responsibility for myself & my life.  Happiness & serenity is available for the taking.  How much do I want it?

Food for Thought: August 15th

Inner Tigers

What we fear facing and dealing with is often inside. We may transfer our fear and irritation to external circumstances and the people around us, when what we need to do is look inside. Usually, we are our own worst enemy.

Our fears go back to a time when we were very young and relatively helpless. We may still be afraid of rejection, of being inferior, of being hurt with no one to take care of us. We may have an irrational fear of economic insecurity, which comes from a time when we were aware of financial problems but were too young to understand them.

Whether our inner tigers are real or made out of paper, we need to face them instead of eating to appease them. As we recover from compulsive overeating, many of the fears, which we had tried to bury with food, come to consciousness. With the Power greater than ourselves, we are able to tame the inner tigers.

Secure in Your care, may I not fear self-discovery.

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.

****************************************************************

What compulsive overeater doesn't know about eating to appease the inner fears that run wild within us?  Excess food gives the illusion of 'comfort' when in fact, it creates more problems than it cures. Such is the nature of addiction.

If I am suffering from financial instability, will excess food put money in my wallet?  If I am suffering from insecurity or fear within my marriage, will excess food give me courage or a guarantee of security?

No.  In reality, eating excess food will worsen my fears & render me incapable of dealing with the problems that face me.  Living in a food coma blurs reality, and shrouds it in fear & illusion.  In order to make some permanent changes, I have to straighten up my thoughts & start facing the reality of the situation.  Through prayer & meditation I can hand my worries over to God and allow Him to bear them for me. 

Through abstinence, I clear up my muddled thinking so I can ditch the fear & start doing the footwork to change, from the inside out.

For today, I will not dwell in fear, no matter how worrisome my life situation appears to be. For today, I will have faith that God is behind me, every step of the way, and whatever adversity I seem to be facing, He has my back.  All I have to do is the footwork, allowing Him to do the rest.

Recovery Meditations: August 14th

LOVE

“Love conquers all things.
Let us, too, surrender to love.”
Virgil


Learning to love myself has been one of the hardest lessons I've had to learn. I had to discover my capacity for self-care. I had to listen to the way I talked to myself and to learn to speak in more affirming ways. Learning to smile -- and then laugh -- when I made a mistake helped me to be less self-centered and more able to just have fun.

Life is a great experience when I surrender myself to the love around me. Expressing my love to others increases its quantity and quality inside of me. We all need to know that someone loves us and that we are lovable. Everyone needs to know that they are sufficient. I've discovered that as I give love to others, it is returned to me many times over.

One day at a time...
I will work at expressing unconditional love.

~ YAL

__________________
My Health Coach Website
My Blog

 

**************************************************************

 

I've always had the capacity to love others, but myself? Not so much. I was fat, after all, and why did I deserve to love myself? I spoke to myself in harsh tones, with no understanding or forgiveness, considering myself 'weak' and 'worthless' as a human being.

 

No wonder I overeat and drank to cope! 

 

I am lovable. I have the capacity TO love and to BE loved! I am sufficient, in spite of my mistakes & imperfections.  I do not have to work my program 'perfectly' in order to be worthy of self-love.  I love myself NO MATTER WHAT!

If I am struggling with abstinence, I can look at the situation with honesty instead of beating myself to a pulp.  I can tighten UP my program, and work the Steps rather than immediately resort to self-loathing.  

 

I am a child of God, a mother, a wife, a friend, a daughter, a co-worker & a business woman. I am not 'perfect' in ANY of these roles, but I AM good enough!

 

For today, I will love myself unconditionally, no matter WHAT! 

Food for Thought: August 13th

Be Prepared

We need to be prepared for times when we will be tempted to eat the wrong kind of food. This may mean eating our planned meal before going to an event where the right food may not be available. It may mean adjusting our meal schedule so that we can wait to eat until after an event where the wrong kind of food is served.

In the past, we may have used the excuse of not hurting someone's feelings in order to rationalize a deviation from our food plan. No hostess should expect a guest to consume food to which he or she is allergic. We alone are responsible for what goes into our mouths. If we are faced with food, which will activate our illness, it is better to be hungry than to eat what makes us sick.

When we are willing to go to any lengths to maintain abstinence, we can find a way to deal with dangerous food situations. "No, thank you" is a very useful tool.

May I be prepared for times of temptation.

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.

******************************************************************

Abstinence is hard work. Probably THE hardest work I've EVER had to do in my life. But what is the alternative?

The alternative is to go back into the clutches of compulsive overeating where EVERY facet of life is compromised. There is no joy in this disease; there is only fear & misery & self-loathing.

When self-pity sets in, as it ALWAYS does, we have to remember what this disease strips us of.  It strips us of dignity, of self-love, of pure joy in the day-to-day beauty of LIFE.  FOR WHAT? For the temporary 'comfort' of eating some FOOD?????????? 

People, it is SO NOT WORTH IT. Step back & think BEFORE you take that first compulsive bite. Take EVERY precaution to AVOID it.  Make abstinence your NUMBER ONE PRIORITY in life, otherwise, you risk falling back into the darkness where excess prevails, and snuffs OUT everything that is beautiful in life.

The disease will have you believe that nobody loves you; that you are worthless and under appreciated. That you have nothing to offer and you should isolate & hide.  This is the nature of food addiction, which I believe to be STRONGER and even MORE powerful than drug addiction.  Drug addicts get clean, once and for all, and their addiction goes into remission and sleeps like a baby. Oh sure, they entertain the thought of using now & then, but it's a lot easier to slough off those thoughts than it is for compulsive overeaters.  COEs think there is no real harm in having a small taste of this or that, after all........EVERYBODY is eating, why can't I?

I can't have a small taste of this or that because for ME, that first bite is my ticket back to HELL.

In the end, it is far easier to say No Thank You than it is to invite the devil out to play.  It's one helluva job getting him to go back HOME once he's out.

For today, I am putting Abstinence on the TOP of my priority list.  No if's, and's or but's about it. I involve myself with compulsive overeaters ALL day long and what I see breaks my heart into pieces. I see the disease taking OVER, and making people FORGET the beauty of life in Recovery.

For today, let's ALL remember what FREEDOM feels like and looks like. It feels like heaven and it looks like Abstinence.

Food for Thought: August 12th

The Beacon

There are times when we get tired and depressed or elated and confused. We are mentally uncomfortable, knowing that something is wrong but unable to pinpoint the trouble. Our first thought may be to reach for food, but we know that way leads to disaster.

We compulsive overeaters have a beacon light for our dark and confused moments. It is our commitment to abstinence. No matter how confused we may be, we can remember that abstinence is the most important thing in our life without exception. Whatever happens, we will not be lost if we hold fast to our abstinence. From the commitment, everything else follows. As long as we do not overeat, we will be able to find our way out of a difficult situation.

Our Higher Power gives us the beacon light of abstinence, and with it He gives guidance out of our perplexities. Patiently waiting until we clearly see His will keeps us from getting lost in the darkness of self-will.

Thank You for the beacon light of abstinence.

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.

__________________
My Health Coach Website
My Blog

******************************************************************

I often find myself 'mentally uncomfortable', although I can't always pinpoint exactly why.  It's taken me SO long to identify my emotions, that sometimes I get confused trying to figure out WHAT it is I am actually feeling!!!  My first thought turns to food when I feel mentally uncomfortable.  When I'm alone in the house, my first thought turns to food too, since I have always been a closet eater. 
"Gee, why is she so fat when she never eats?"  Uh, because I eat when nobody's looking, that's why.

Anyway, my point is this: There are many, many times when my instincts turn to overeating. My food plan of Abstinence is what keeps those thoughts from turning into reality.  If I didn't have Abstinence to rely on, I'd be eating my way through dozens of uncomfortable situations every day!  Living in a food coma is NOT how I want to live! I want to live free from the burden of addiction, and I want to feel ALL of my emotions as they come up.  

My emotions will NOT kill me, but obesity & compulsive overeating WILL!

My commitment to Abstinence IS my beacon of light for my dark & confused moments. Excess food NEVER 'helps' me out of those kinds of moods................excess food NEVER 'comforts' me, although the disease tries to lie & trick me into thinking it WILL.

It won't. It never did, it never does, and it never will.

The only thing that helps me through emotional turmoil is Abstinence & God.

For today, I pray not to lose myself or compromise my program for ANYTHING or ANYONE.  No food on earth is worth the sacrifice.  To ditch my program IS to sacrifice my peace of mind & well being.

To forget my program 'just this once' is to get lost in the darkness of self-will.

For today, may I keep Abstinence #1 in my list of priorities.

Food for Thought: August 11th

Sloppy Thinking

If we begin to entertain thoughts of slight deviations from our food plan, thoughts of former binge foods, thoughts that maybe once in a while we could eat "normally," we put ourselves on shaky ground. Our disease is never cured, and sloppy thinking can lead to a weakening or loss of control.

"Normal" eating for us is abstinence. Our food plan is what saves us from bizarre eating behavior. There is no such thing as taking a vacation from abstinence.

The less we think about food, the better off we are. To remember the so-called pleasure we once associated with certain foods may cause us to forget the inevitable pain and anguish which eating them eventually produced. We do not want to ever return to the misery of compulsive overeating.

Giving our minds to our Higher Power ensures positive, healthy thinking.

Take my thoughts, Lord, and straighten them out.

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.

***********************************************************************
Since I can never be a 'normal eater', I created normal for myself through abstinence.  My food plan provides me with all of the necessary nutrients & calories my body needs to stay alive. If I begin to entertain thoughts of deviating from my food plan, I know I'm on shaky ground!!!  It means I am considering my Wants instead of my Needs.  And, with the Disease of More, there is NO such thing as Enough, so why get started down that road to begin with?  No amount of binge food is going to 'satisfy' me, so there is no point in taking 'just one' bite.

I can be an observer to my thoughts, instead of a slave to my thoughts. When stinkin thinkin first crops up, I can sit back & recognize it for what it IS rather than succumb.  When my Mind is working in overdrive, I must go inside of myself, to my Spirit, to quiet my mind and to find peace. Deep breathing exercises help me find my focus & squash the negative thought processes.

For today, I will stick to my basic & boring food plan, which prevents me from using food for entertainment. I will not obsess about food today, because I KNOW the parameters of my menu and it's all laid out FOR me.  There is no 'guilty pleasure' associated with food-------it is merely fuel to keep my energy up.  For today, I pray that God helps me remember that, so I don't forget the pain & misery that overeating produces.

Food for Thought: August 10th

No Compromises

Where abstinence is concerned, there can be no compromising. In order to control our illness, we are willing to go to any lengths to maintain abstinence. Nothing else is as important to us.

If we are eating in a restaurant where the right kind of vegetable is not available, we can order two salads or do without a vegetable for one meal, rather than substitute a starch which will activate our disease. We learn what we can handle and what is not for us, and then we act on that knowledge in every situation. To compromise "just this once" is an invitation to trouble.

Just as we have a certain way of eating for the maintenance of our recovery, so we have a way of living based on the principle of rigorous honesty. Honesty in all of our activities is what makes us strong and effective. Where the core principles of our program are concerned, we do not compromise.

By Your grace, may I maintain my integrity in all situations. 

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.

*************************************************************************

Dancing With Gorillas

 

“The desire to stop suffering

is not the same thing as the desire to stop the behavior

we are doing which causes us to suffer.”

~Dr. James Golden

I may want the monkey off of my back, but the question is: do I want to stop the behavior that put the monkey on my back to begin with?

Some of us call ourselves ‘foodies’………we love food, we love to eat, we love to prepare food, dine out, etc. etc.  Isn’t this the very behavior that caused us so many problems in the first place?  

If we want to relieve ourselves of food obsession, then we have to take the necessary steps to relieve ourselves of it, do we not?

As an alcoholic, I wouldn’t work or hang out in a bar environment for obvious reasons. Yet, as a person with a chronic weight problem, do I apply the same rules to my food environment???  Do I sit around watching Diners Drive-In’s & Dives, salivating at the sight of all that greasy & fattening food?  Do I thumb through cookbooks, looking for new & tasty recipes to try out ‘on my family?’  The family who could care less about new & exciting dishes………versus me, who would wind up waiting until everyone else was asleep & then pig out on the leftovers?  I don’t eat a lot in front of others………I reserve that behavior for when I’m alone & nobody is watching.

I didn’t get fat by accident………..I ate & drank my way TO it, one binge at a time, and one bite at a time. And, for the most part, in secret.

If I insist on staying a foodie, I condemn myself to getting fat again.  I can still ENJOY food, and dining out occasionally, but I can’t allow food to be the central focus of my life anymore.  I’ve had to ditch that way of thinking when I embraced abstinence, much as I didn’t think I wanted to…..I knew I needed to.

If I start taking bites, licks & tastes of off plan foods, I’m likely to get back into the foodie mentality & have a full-fledged binge.

When you dance with a gorilla, it is the gorilla who decides when to stop.

What makes me think I can stop that behavior, once I involve myself with it? Once I wake up my taste-buds, who’s to say if and when they’re going back to sleep? Reminds me of the druggie who says he can stop ‘any time he wants to’, refusing to believe he has a problem to begin with.

I have a lifetime of vigilance on my hands here.  I can’t say Oh I’m Thin Now & My Troubles Are All Behind Me, because that’s a lie.  Weight management is a full-time thing……..it requires my attention, my commitment & my perseverance.  It requires me to make healthy food choices on a daily basis, and to look for reasons to eat right rather than excuses not to.  

An excuse is nothing more than a thin skin stretched over a bald faced lie.

When I’m stressed out, excess food won’t fix it.  When my husband & I have an argument, excess food won’t fix it.  When I’m faced with the task of managing my elderly parents’ final years, excess food won’t help me one little bit.

When I’m stressed out, I exercise. When my husband & I have an argument, I talk it out with him.  When I’m traumatized from watching the deterioration of two people I love, I cry.  I feel my emotions rather than eat them.  I face my stuff rather than stuff my face.  When I’m having a bad day, I realize it’s just a moment in time……..not a ‘bad life’.

When I deal with myself & my life honestly, with positivity, I feel that I can make it.  When I start looking at things with negativity, I feel like I will never make it. 

After a lifetime of yo-yo dieting, I’ve learned a few things, thank God. 

Wisdom is knowledge you learn after you know it all.

I am not saying I’ll never make a mistake or eat something I shouldn’t…………I just know that I have a food plan & a life plan in place, which keeps me focused…moving toward a healthier me instead of away from it. That’s all any of us can do………….create a plan & stick to it.  Because, without a plan, we’re likely to fall off track and stay off track, like we’ve done so many times before.

Figure out YOUR plan today, dear ones, and then stick to it. Let nothing & nobody stand in the way of your success.

Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t, you’re right.

~Henry Ford

The Language of Letting Go: August 9th

Asking for What We Need

Decide what it is you want and need, and then go to the person you need it from and ask for it.

Sometimes, it takes hard work and much energy to get what we want and need. We have to go through the pains of identifying what we want, then struggle to believe that we deserve it. Then, we may have to experience the disappointment of asking someone, having the person refuse us, and figuring out what to do next.

Sometimes in life, getting what we want and need is not so difficult. Sometimes, all we need to do is ask.

We can go to another person, or our Higher Power, and ask for what we need.

But because of how difficult it can be, at times, to get what we want and need, we may get trapped in the mind set of believing it will always be that difficult. Sometimes, not wanting to go through the hassle, dreading the struggle, or out of fear, we may make getting what we want and need much more difficult than it needs to be.

We may get angry before we ask, deciding that we'll never get what we want, or anticipating the "fight" we'll have to endure. By the time we talk to someone about what we want, we may be so angry that we're demanding, not asking; thus our anger triggers a power play that didn't exist except in our mind.

Or we may get so worked up that we don't ask--or we waste far more energy than necessary fighting with ourselves, only to find out that the other person, or our Higher Power, is happy to give us what we want.

Sometimes, we have to fight and work and wait for what we want and need. Sometimes, we can get it just by asking or stating that this is what we want. Ask. If the answer is no, or not what we want, then we can decide what to do next.

Today, I will not set up a difficult situation that doesn't exist with other people, or my Higher Power, about getting what I want and need. If there is something I need from someone, I will ask first, before I struggle. 

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

******************************************************************

I'm exhausted just reading this!  As a compulsive overeater/compulsive person in general, I tend to live inside my HEAD.  Inside of my head, I tend to set up all SORTS of possibilities and outcomes for all SORTS of situations that do not even exist. 

The "What If's".  If I play out ENOUGH scenes in my head, surely I'll hit on the ONE possible outcome!

When I do that, I work myself up into a lather, for no good reason.  I wind up wasting ALL of my energy on Anticipation!

The "What If'" scenario constitutes living in the Future.  I prevent Spontaneity and stuff DOWN my intuitions by trying to determine the outcome of something BEFORE it actually happens!  When I allow God to run the show, I don't HAVE TO know the outcome beforehand. 

If I want something, or need something, I will ask for it.  I will not run my brain into overdrive worrying about what the answer will be.  I will keep in mind that I have very few real 'needs', and most of them are already taken care of! 


If my Wants outnumber my Needs, I'll never wind up being happy with what I have.

For today, I will be straightforward and truthful when expressing myself. If I need something, I will ask for it, especially if it's help from someone else.  I will not expect YOU to read MY mind and be able to magically meet all of MY needs. 

For today, I will not project the future by imagining the outcome of any situation.  I will live in the NOW and enjoy each moment as it appears.

The Language of Letting Go

Saying Yes

Yesterday we talked about learning to say no. Today, let's discuss another important word: Yes.

We can learn to say yes to things that feel good, to what we want - for others and ourselves.

We can learn to say yes to fun. Yes to meetings, to calling a friend, asking for help.

We can learn to say yes to healthy relationships, to people and activities that are good for us.

We can learn to say yes to ourselves, what we want and need, our instincts, and the leading of our Higher Power.

We can learn to say yes when it feels right to help someone. We can learn to say yes to our feelings. We can learn to identify when we need to take a walk, take a nap, have our back rubbed, or buy ourselves flowers.

We can learn to say yes to work that is right for us.

We can learn to say yes to all that will nurture and nourish us. We can learn to say yes to the best life and love has to offer.

Today, I will say yes to all that feels good and right.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

__________________
My Health Coach Website
My Blog

 

********************************************************************

 

When I was eating & drinking compulsively, my biggest 'need' was FOOD/BOOZE, or so I thought. Recovery is teaching me to identify what it is I REALLY need, and most often, food and booze is not it.  

 

Sometimes I need a hug, a word of support, fun, exercise, a back rub or a bunch of frivolous flowers.  Other times I need to just BE, without compulsive activity or racing thoughts scrambling up my mind.  Giving myself permission to relax & STOP thinking is the best thing I can do for myself.

In the days before Recovery, I was so estranged from my Self that I didn't know WHAT I wanted or needed..........I was just THAT out of touch with ME.

Today I know WHO I am and what I NEED to thrive. If I forget for a moment, I allow myself some quiet time to reconnect with God. I allow HIM to guide me toward finding the answer. 

For today, I say YES to all that will nurture & nourish me.  I say YES to the best life and love has to offer. YES to healthy relationships, people and activities that are good for me. 

For today, I say yes to my God-given instincts, and recognize them as my Higher Power working THROUGH me.

For today, I will say YES to all that feels good & right.

The Language of Letting Go: August 7th

Saying No

For many of us, the most difficult word to say is one of the shortest and easiest in the vocabulary: No. Go ahead, say it aloud: No.

No - simple to pronounce, hard to say. We're afraid people won't like us, or we feel guilty. We may believe that a "good" employee, child, parent, spouse, or Christian never says no.

The problem is, if we don't learn to say no, we stop liking ourselves and the people we always try to please. We may even punish others out of resentment.


When do we say no? When no is what we really mean.

When we learn to say no, we stop lying. People can trust us, and we can trust ourselves. All sorts of good things happen when we start saying what we mean.

If we're scared to say no, we can buy some time. We can take a break, rehearse the word, and go back and say no. We don't have to offer long explanations for our decisions.

When we can say no, we can say yes to the good. Our no's and our yes's begin to be taken seriously. We gain control of ourselves. And we learn a secret: "No" isn't really that hard to say.

Today, I will say no if that is what I mean.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

__________________
My Health Coach Website
My Blog

 

*********************************************************************

 

Saying No is vital for recovery.  Another good thing to say No to is over-complicating our food plan.

 

  Complicated food plans and complicated lives work against us in this program. We compulsive overeaters have a hard time making decisions about food, and the more simple our menus, the better. We also tend to overextend ourselves in other areas, dissipating energy, which we need for working our program.

Our three meals a day can be nourishing and attractive without being elaborate. If we spend too much time and energy planning and preparing our food, we run the risk of reactivating our obsession. Too much thinking about food usually leads to overeating and invariably produces mental turmoil.

 

Just say NO to complicated food plans!

For our peace of mind and emotional serenity, we need to keep the mechanics of our lives as simple as possible. If the spirit is to be free, it cannot be shackled by over concern with material things.

Saying No empowers us to take our rightful place in the world, and stop worrying about what people think of us.  

Saying No means saying Yes to Recovery.

Recovery Meditations: August 6th

SELF-ESTEEM

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

Eleanor Roosevelt


I always used to feel “less than” everyone else, so I’d eat and feel even worse.

Without true love for myself I was dead in the water. I would compare the facts I knew about myself against the impression I had of you. I never seemed to measure up. Without self-love, I was unable to ask for, expect or accept love from others.

When I love myself and treat myself lovingly, it doesn’t matter what others think of me; what matters is that I do not think less of myself.

One day at a time ...
I ask my Higher Power to show me little ways
to act lovingly toward myself and to know deep within
that I am worthy of being loved by others.

~ Melissa S.

__________________
My Health Coach Website
My Blog

 

******************************************************************

 

"Don't Compare Your Insides to Somebody Else's Outsides."

~AA

 

When I began my journey, I wasn't sure how to love myself.  I wasn't sure how to stop comparing my insides to someone else's outsides. I knew I was a pretty good person, I just didn't like myself very much.  When everything was quiet & I was alone, I doubted my worth as a human being. I'd proven to myself, over & over again, that I was incapable of real change, so why should I try again to reel my addictive behavior back in? 

 

But I had proven to myself that I could make some important changes in my life. I divorced a husband, giving up financial security for personal joy. I went back into the workforce, after a 22 year hiatus, and I was managing on my own quite well. I wasn't making any real money, but I was finally free & happy.

 

I'd found my birth family, after 45 years of wondering who I was & where I came from. I found 6 half-siblings that welcomed me with open arms, and loved me as if I were someone special. Me! Someone special! What a novel thought!

But I was still overeating & drinking to excess. I was still holding onto crutches that I'd needed in the past, just to survive.  My obesity AND my alcoholism did serve a useful purpose, but now that I'd made changes, those addictions were no longer serving me.  Yet I didn't think I could give them up.

 

I knew it was time to start loving myself & treating myself accordingly. And so I did. I stopped overeating & I stopped drinking, 4+ years ago, and that is how I ultimately started learning to love myself. By practicing good behaviors.

I am worth all the trouble. I am worthy of being loved by others, but especially, I am worthy of self-love.  Through abstinence I found myself & the ability to treat myself with self-love & self-respect.

For today, it doesn’t matter what others think of me; what matters is that I do not think less of myself.

Food for Thought: August 5th

Future Phobia

Irrational worry about the future may have triggered eating binges before we found the OA program. Learning to live one day at a time is a necessary part of controlling our disease. Our instinct for security must not be allowed to run riot any more than the other instincts we are learning to control.

Trusting our Higher Power today ensures that we will trust Him tomorrow also. We do not know what the future holds for us, but we are assured of God's continuing care and support. To entertain irrational worries about what might or might not happen is to doubt the Power, which is restoring us to sanity. When we take Step Three without reservations, we give up our crippling anxieties.

We do not expect that life will be a rose garden in the future, any more than it is right now. There are problems and disappointments and pains to deal with. What we do expect is the strength to cope with whatever our Higher Power gives us, realizing that the difficult experiences are often the ones from which we learn the most.

May faith in You blot out fear.

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.

__________________
My Health Coach Website
My Blog

******************************************************************

Step 3:  We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him.

When I began working the steps actively is when I began to find recovery.  Until that time, however, I couldn't think myself into new behaviors.  Only through action does the recovery process begin.


Step 1: Admitted we were powerless over food (alcohol) and our lives had become unmanageable.


What is the definition of unmanageable?  Difficult or impossible to control, use, or manipulate.

Yes indeed, my life had become quite unmanageable. I could no longer control, use or manipulate food & alcohol to achieve a better state of mind.  My addictions were controlling me, which is what ultimately happens to all addicts.  The substances that once brought comfort & relief from thinking, soon bring pain & numbness that create more trouble than they cure.


The Steps taught me how to do the footwork, by committing to abstinence from overeating and total abstinence from drinking, and to allow God to do the rest.  When I trust Him to catch me when I fall, and to have my back, I am able to live my life as He intended me to live it.  Free from the burden of addiction, and allowing love, joy & faith to prevail instead.


If I allow my addictions to cause chaos & run riot, I cannot allow God to take over & show me a better way.


When I live for today, I do not project fear & worry about the future.  No, I don't know what tomorrow may bring, nor must I dwell on the possibilities.  Tomorrow may be rife with unsettling news, or it may hold untold joys & opportunities.  I think I will allow tomorrow to get here after today has passed.  I will not borrow trouble & worry about the 'what if's' of a future that does not exist right NOW.


For today, may I live in the moment, with God's help, and abstinence as my #1 priority.

Recovery Meditations: August 4th

OTHERS

"In the deepest part of a compulsive eater's soul ...
is the realization that recovery begins when we find one another."
Anonymous


Growing up in the deep South in the 1950's, I witnessed things I never dreamed could happen. It taught me lessons I have never forgotten. Little did I think that someone like me could ever be discriminated against. After all, I was the right color, the right size, the right religion and lived on the right side of town.

Messages began to be taped early on in that little girl's brain ... into the psyche of that teenager who worked so hard to achieve ... and into the young woman who had the world by the tail. In adulthood those messages began to play ... and food made the messages easier to hear. So began the life of a compulsive eater. So began discrimination because of my weight.

Years later I would be grateful for my life as an overweight adult. I would look back and see that the God of my understanding was preparing me to see discrimination as a disease of the soul. But what happened to give me serenity and peace and contentment? I found another compulsive eater. And then I found another ... and another. And recovery began.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will overwrite those taped messages;
I will not regret the past;
And I will cherish my fellows forever.

~ Mari

__________________
My Health Coach Website
My Blog

 

***************************************************************

 

It's hard to imagine being grateful for a disease, especially one like compulsive overeating. The tendency is to feel more self-pity than appreciation.  "Why me?" 

 

Nothing worth having comes easy. It took me 40 years of addiction to finally put my ego aside so I could be shown freedom.  A structured food plan IS freedom, despite the fact that many consider it bondage. 

The TRUE bondage is a life of slavery to addiction.

 

If I hadn't suffered the indignities of obesity, how would God have been able to prepare me to see discrimination? How would He have prepared me to share MY story with others who suffer and enable them to see the way OUT of their self-imposed misery?

 

For today, I AM grateful for my disease, because it has opened my eyes to the purpose of life: to pay my blessings forward; to share my struggles and vulnerabilities with the intent of lessening someone else's load.

 

For today, I thank God for ALL the lessons that come my way. 

Recovery Meditations: August 3rd

WORKING IT

“For the things we have to learn
before we can do them, we learn by doing them.”
Aristotle



When I walked into my first Twelve Step meeting I had absolutely no idea what was going on. I knew nothing about the program, the Steps, or how to work them. But I listened, asked questions, and I learned.

One of the most important lessons I learned was that I couldn't just sit around waiting for recovery to take place. I couldn't just ask God for help and do nothing else. I had to put feet to my prayers, as they say. I had to do something. So … slowly, with the help of my sponsor, I took the first Step. And then the second.

I found that I could talk a good game around program folks because I'd learned the lingo. But the saying, “you've got to walk the talk” tells me that I have to do it. I can't just speak my recovery into existence. I found I didn't have recovery until I began working the Steps. It was only when I started “the doing” that the real learning -- and the real recovery -- began.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will take what I learn about recovery
and put it into practice ... I'll work the program.

~ jar

__________________
My Health Coach Website
My Blog

 

*************************************************************

 

If I could have spoken my recovery into existence, I would have done so with no sweat, 40 years ago, and spared myself the pain of compulsive dieting! 

While God DOES respond to Knee-Mail, I STILL have to do the footwork to reap the benefits that come with Recovery.

 

Good actions create good thoughts.  When I stay true to my food plan & do the footwork to make it a reality, I reap all the benefits of healthy thinking. 

 

If I don't work my program, I do not enjoy the freedom of Recovery. When I try to do things 'my way,' I'm quickly brought to my knees with the seriousness of my disease.  "My way" got me to 225 lbs, and I can't lose sight of that fact.  If I insist on doing things "my way" again, I may not come out of the food coma until I'm 325 lbs.

 

Committing myself to working the Steps & staying abstinent guarantees Recovery.  If I start to doubt that fact and begin doing things 'my way', I will soon be reminded that I am powerless over food, and my life is unmanageable without abstinence.

 

If I test the theory 100 times, 100 times I will fall into the abyss of compulsive overeating.  Which one of those relapses will I be unable to recover from?  For today, may I never find out the answer to that question.

  

The Language of Letting Go: August 2nd

In Between

Sometimes, to get from where we are to where we are going, we have to be willing to be in between.

One of the hardest parts of recovery is the concept of letting go of what is old and familiar, but what we don't want, and being willing to stand with our hands empty while we wait for God to fill them.

This may apply to feelings. We may have been full of hurt and anger. In some ways, these feelings may have become comfortably familiar. When we finally face and relinquish our grief, we may feel empty for a time. We are in between pain and the joy of serenity and acceptance.

Being in between can apply to relationships. To prepare ourselves for the new, we need to first let go of the old. This can be frightening. We may feel empty and lost for a time. We may feel all alone, wondering what is wrong with us for letting go of the proverbial bird in hand, when there is nothing in the bush.

Being in between can apply to many areas of life and recovery. We can be in between jobs, careers, homes, or goals. We can be in between behaviors as we let go of the old and are not certain what we will replace it with. This can apply to behaviors that have protected and served us well all of our life, such as caretaking and controlling.

We may have many feelings going on when we're in between: spurts of grief about what we have let go of or lost, and feelings of anxiety, fear, and apprehension about what's ahead. These are normal feelings for the in between place. Accept them. Feel them. Release them.

Being in between isn't fun, but it's necessary. It will not last forever. It may feel like we're standing still, but we're not. We're standing at the in between place. it's how we get from here to there. It is not the destination.

We are moving forward, even when we're in between.

Today, I will accept where I am as the ideal place for me to be. If I am in between, I will strive for the faith that this place is not without purpose, that it is moving me toward something good. 

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

***********************************************************

How uncomfortable it feels to be 'in between'!!!!!!! Since patience is NOT one of my strengths, the 'in between' phases seems like they will never end.

 What bothered me most a year ago? A month ago? Even a week ago? It's probably that whatever it was, I were obsessed with it, certain that my future was ruined, that there was no reasonable solution. It's also probable that I feared I simply couldn't survive the complexity of the situation. But I did. And I always will be able to survive any and all difficulties. I am never, absolutely never, given more than I can handle. In fact, I given exactly what I need, at any given time.  When I am at an 'in between' juncture, that's exactly where I NEED to be.


For today, I will trust God, knowing that His plan for me is better than MY plan for me.  For today, I will not sweat the small stuff.


For today, I will practice patience in all areas of my life.

The Language of Letting Go: August 1st

  Gratitude

We learn the magical lesson that making the most of what we have turns it into more.
  —Codependent No More

Say thank you, until we mean it.

Thank God, life, and the universe for everyone and everything sent your way.

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, and confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. It turns problems into gifts, failures into successes, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. It can turn an existence into a real life, and disconnected situations into important and beneficial lessons. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.

Gratitude makes things right.

Gratitude turns negative energy into positive energy. There is no situation or circumstance so small or large that it is not susceptible to gratitude's power. We can start with whom we are and what we have today, apply gratitude, then let it work its magic.

Say thank you, until you mean it. if you say it long enough, you will believe it.

Today, I will shine the transforming light of gratitude on all the circumstances of my life. 

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

**************************************************************

The key to gratitude is to live in the NOW; to appreciate each moment as it comes, and to stop thinking about the past or the future.

Our past is a story
existing only in our minds.
Look, analyze, understand, and forgive.
Then, as quickly as possible, chuck it.
Marianne Williamson

Each morning when I wake up, and again in the evening before going to sleep, I give thanks to God for all that I have and for all that I am. I give thanks for all good things that have happened during the day, and all not-so-good things as well.  Every event of the day was given to me as a blessing to learn from.  I no more curse the 'bad' events than rejoice in the 'good' ones.  I appreciate what IS, and embrace each day with acceptance.

For today, I will unlock the fullness of life by appreciating what I have right now, and showing gratitude in all circumstances. 

Recovery Meditations: July 31st

NEGATIVE THINKING

“Condemn the fault and not the actor of it.”
William Shakespeare


How many times do we beat ourselves because we have failed to attain the goals we have set? We are human and we suffer from a disease that renders us helpless and out of control. Is it any wonder that we fail in trying to conquer such an unforgiving beast?

It is not ourselves we should be angry with, but the disease and how it affects our actions and reactions. Our inability – or unwillingness -- to realize that we cannot achieve recovery alone is our only true failure. We need help. Without it we are weak and defenseless. This disease would have us believe we are failures ~ but in reality, all we have done is open the doors to our enemy. These doors can be closed again. Our disease not only manifests itself in the form of uncontrollable eating, but also in our negative thoughts and actions towards ourselves and towards the people around us.

It takes no more time to think positively than it does to think negatively. Our only job is to remember that we have a disease. We can choose to forget it, we can choose to beat ourselves up when we leave the door ajar, or we can choose to forgive ourselves and begin again.

One day at a time...
I will work on forgiving myself.
I am worth forgiving.
You are too.

~Sue

__________________
My Health Coach Website
My Blog

 

*******************************************************************

 

How do I close the doors on my disease of compulsive overeating? By staying true to an abstinent food plan.  If I leave that door ajar, my disease comes rushing back IN, leaving me feeling defeated & like a failure as a human being.  This is the vicious cycle that makes it impossible for me to control the disease alone, and without support.  Once the negative thinking sets in, I see nothing clearly, and I am once again dancing with the enemy.

 

I try to examine the facts intellectually, avoiding emotional reactions which cause drama & chaos.  Intellectually, I know what I must do to maintain my sanity, balance, and to maintain my weight in a normal range.  I need to make abstinence my #1 priority in life.  When my food intake is under control, the rest of my LIFE is under control.  When I open the door to my disease by making exceptions, 'just this once', I INVITE chaos & misery back into my life.  It's just that simple.  Yet I make unwise choices from time to time, and I always suffer the consequences.  I don't delude myself into thinking I'm 'cured', or that I can somehow morph into a 'normal eater'..........but I DO make mistakes, knowing full well that I'm opening a door that I may NOT be able to close again.

 

At some point, I don't know when, I will cross over a line that I can't recover from.  I will go back to compulsive overeating on a full time basis, jumping back into the dark abyss, abandoning my hopes & dreams to a disease that is cunning, baffling & powerful.  How can I avoid crossing over that line? By staying abstinent, surrendering my life & my control over to God, by staying connected to my fellow COEs by sharing my experience, strength & hope, and by recognizing the seriousness of the situation.    

 

I will not beat myself up over a mistake, nor will I take a cavalier attitude, sloughing it off as no big deal.  Instead, I will live for Today, handing my troubles over to my Higher Power, asking Him to guide me every step of the way.  I have the tools to stay the course. Am I using them? For today, yes I am.  Yesterday is gone & tomorrow isn't here yet.  For right now, I am gratefully abstinent.

 

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;

The courage to change the things I can;

And the wisdom to know the difference.

Food for Thought: July 30th

Focus on Living

Before we found this program, we were obsessed with food and preoccupied with eating. Instead of concentrating our energies on love and work and play, we were side tracked into the unsatisfactory substitute of overeating.

Abstinence gives us a new lease on life. We can develop more satisfying relationships with our family and friends. Since it has been our habit to withdraw and please ourselves with food, it takes time and effort to learn to relate more closely to those we love. It also takes courage and the willingness to be open and vulnerable.

In our work, we have renewed energy and greater ability to concentrate. Where before we may have avoided difficult tasks, we now have the strength and confidence to attempt them.

When we give up eating as a favorite form of recreation, we can find other activities to enjoy. Being released from bondage to food and fat opens the door to all sorts of new possibilities. Less eating means much more living.

We are grateful for new life.

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.

__________________
My Health Coach Website
My Blog

 

*******************************************************************

 

I thought I didn't have a life because I was fat; turns out, I was fat because I didn't have a life.  For as long as I can remember, I have withdrawn from life, pleasing myself with food.  It somehow felt easier to isolate myself, bury my feelings, and sidetrack my emotions by anesthetizing myself with food.  I didn't have a life.........because I'd turned food INTO my life!

 

When I finally became abstinent, I found myself with lots of time on my hands.  Funny how much time it takes to keep an obsession alive, isn't it? Shopping for food, cooking it, reading recipes, watching The Food Network for 'ideas', and of course, the act of overeating itself took up ALL of my time. If I wasn't eating, I was planning a secret binge.  Obsession is a full time job.  

 

At first, I had to keep myself busy at all times. I didn't know how to stop Doing and just start Being. I was uncomfortable with my Self and my emotions, unable to identify them as they came UP.  I was so used to squashing them DOWN, they felt peculiar and unwelcome when I allowed them to come up.  Who was I? I'd lost my Self in a mountain of fat & food, but I was willing to find out WHO it was inside of me.

 

It's been an amazing journey to date. Much of who I Am I really like, other facets of me, not so much. I am a work in progress, however. I am never 'finished' making discoveries, or working on myself, from the inside out.  When my insides are at peace, my outsides are looking fine.  If I don't like who I am at the core, it doesn't matter much what my body looks like.........because it's only temporary. I WILL go back to the safety zone of obesity unless I love my Self unconditionally. 

 

One day at a time, I am grateful for my new life, free from obsession, abstinent, and willing to feel ALL of my emotions.  I realize that my emotions WON'T kill me, but obesity & compulsive overeating WILL.

 

For today, I thank God for my program of recovery, which releases me from bondage to food.  Today I am free to explore all sorts of new possibilities, keeping my heart and my mind OPEN to change.

The Language of Letting Go: July 29th

Have Some Fun

Have some fun. Loosen up a bit. Enjoy life!

We do not have to be so somber and serious. We do not have to be so reflective, so critical, so bound up within the rigid parameters and ourselves others, and often ourselves, have placed around us.

This is life, not a funeral service. Have some fun with it. Enter into it. Participate. Experiment. Take a risk. Be spontaneous. Do not always be so concerned about doing it right, doing the appropriate thing.

Do not always be so concerned about what others will think or say. What they think and say are their issues not ours. Do not be so afraid of making a mistake. Do not be so fearful and proper. Do not inhibit yourself so much.

God did not intend us to be so inhibited, so restricted, so controlled. These repressive parameters are what other people have imposed on us, what we have allowed to be done to us.

We were created fully human. We were given emotions, desires, hopes, dreams, and feelings. There is an alive, excited, fun loving child in us somewhere! Let it come out! Let it come alive! Let it have some fun - not just for two hours on Saturday evening. Bring it with us. Let it help us enjoy this gift of being alive, being fully human, and being who we are!

So many rules. So much shame we've lived with. It simply isn't necessary. We have been brainwashed. It is time now to free ourselves, let ourselves go, and enter fully human into a full life.

Don't worry. We will learn our lessons when necessary. We have learned discipline. We will not go awry. What will happen is that we will begin enjoying life. We will begin enjoying and experiencing our whole self. We can trust ourselves. We have boundaries now. We have our program for a foundation. We can afford to experiment and experience. We are in touch with our Higher Power and ourselves. We are being guided, but a frozen, inanimate object cannot be guided. it cannot even be moved.

Have some fun. Loosen up a bit. Break a few rules. God won't punish us. We do not have to allow people to punish us. And we can stop punishing ourselves. As long as we're here and alive, let's begin to live.

Today, I will let myself have some fun with life. I will loosen up a bit, knowing I won't crack and break. God, help me let go of my need to be so inhibited, proper, and repressed. Help me inject a big dose of life into myself by letting myself be fully alive and human. 

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

*****************************************************************

I tend to get SO caught up in the seriousness of life that I forget to have fun. Not everything has to be treated SO seriously!  Yes, I treat my food plan seriously, because that's a necessity.  Abstinence is what allows all the rest of the good things in life to come about. Without abstinence, I can't possibly allow myself to have fun because the food obsession is in control OF me.  So is the shame and the regret and the despair.  Without abstinence, all the negativity stays in charge, and there is no time or opportunity to relax.

That being said, I allow myself to be childlike when it comes to having fun. It's ok to loosen up and let go! It's ok to act silly & goofy; there is no 'appearance' I must keep up anymore.  I don't have to look perfect, either, I can throw on a pair of shorts & a floppy hat, forget about the make-up and hair, and rush out the door to go play! 

During the work week, when stress abounds & I feel trapped inside of a place I don't want to BE, I can still take time to appreciate the beauty of life.  Otherwise, I'm wasting 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, living for Friday afternoons and wishing my entire life away.  I go outside of the office for lunch every day, get out into the fresh air & sunshine, and I get away from the toxicity of the environment I'm otherwise surrounded by.  When I treat the situation with Acceptance, I am able to make the best of a bad situation.

For today, I intend to enjoy life.  I intend to trust myself fully, to let go of the need to be inhibited, proper and repressed.  There's little joy in worrying over being "politically correct." 

For today, I will just be ME!