Focus on Living
Before we found this program, we were obsessed with food and preoccupied with eating. Instead of concentrating our energies on love and work and play, we were side tracked into the unsatisfactory substitute of overeating.
Abstinence gives us a new lease on life. We can develop more satisfying relationships with our family and friends. Since it has been our habit to withdraw and please ourselves with food, it takes time and effort to learn to relate more closely to those we love. It also takes courage and the willingness to be open and vulnerable.
In our work, we have renewed energy and greater ability to concentrate. Where before we may have avoided difficult tasks, we now have the strength and confidence to attempt them.
When we give up eating as a favorite form of recreation, we can find other activities to enjoy. Being released from bondage to food and fat opens the door to all sorts of new possibilities. Less eating means much more living.
We are grateful for new life.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.
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I thought I didn't have a life because I was fat; turns out, I was fat because I didn't have a life. For as long as I can remember, I have withdrawn from life, pleasing myself with food. It somehow felt easier to isolate myself, bury my feelings, and sidetrack my emotions by anesthetizing myself with food. I didn't have a life.........because I'd turned food INTO my life!
When I finally became abstinent, I found myself with lots of time on my hands. Funny how much time it takes to keep an obsession alive, isn't it? Shopping for food, cooking it, reading recipes, watching The Food Network for 'ideas', and of course, the act of overeating itself took up ALL of my time. If I wasn't eating, I was planning a secret binge. Obsession is a full time job.
At first, I had to keep myself busy at all times. I didn't know how to stop Doing and just start Being. I was uncomfortable with my Self and my emotions, unable to identify them as they came UP. I was so used to squashing them DOWN, they felt peculiar and unwelcome when I allowed them to come up. Who was I? I'd lost my Self in a mountain of fat & food, but I was willing to find out WHO it was inside of me.
It's been an amazing journey to date. Much of who I Am I really like, other facets of me, not so much. I am a work in progress, however. I am never 'finished' making discoveries, or working on myself, from the inside out. When my insides are at peace, my outsides are looking fine. If I don't like who I am at the core, it doesn't matter much what my body looks like.........because it's only temporary. I WILL go back to the safety zone of obesity unless I love my Self unconditionally.
One day at a time, I am grateful for my new life, free from obsession, abstinent, and willing to feel ALL of my emotions. I realize that my emotions WON'T kill me, but obesity & compulsive overeating WILL.
For today, I thank God for my program of recovery, which releases me from bondage to food. Today I am free to explore all sorts of new possibilities, keeping my heart and my mind OPEN to change.
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