For Today: August 8th

They that reverence too much old times are but a scorn to the new.
Francis Bacon

Do I look back in longing and think what fun it was to eat what I wanted when I wanted it?  Do I feel my life today is one of deprivation?  Dear God, remind me of what life was like before I came to OA---the obsession, the demoralization, the treadmill, the despair and sickness. I am as powerless over food now as I was the day I walked in.  Compulsive overeating and hope are not compatible.

My new life of abstinence, peace of mind and physical well being was made possible by a willingness to trust in a Power greater than myself.  All I have to do is keep on letting that Power do for me what I cannot do for myself. That is more precious to me than any remembered “high old time” with food.

For Today:  On my knees, I pray to be “as a child”—to go back now to steps one, two and three. There is nothing out there in the wilderness of compulsive overeating that I want.

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The longer I stay abstinent, the less I long for the 'good old days' of eating whatever I wanted, whenever  I wanted to.  Back in those days, I was spiritually impoverished.  I relied on myself instead of my Higher Power because I thought I knew what was best for me.  I control freaked my way up to 225 lbs of pure misery & self-loathing.

Eating small meals in moderate portions does not have me feeling deprived.  I don't long for the good old days because they weren't good.........my life today is just as it should be; in God's hands.  While my life isn't perfect, it's filled with serenity, peace of mind and just what I NEED to function.  When I put aside my WANTS and trust that God will provide me with what I need, I can stay focused and abstinent, one day at a time.

For today, I pray for the willingness to trust that God WILL do for me what I cannot do for myself, which is allow me to live free from the obsession with excess in all forms.