For Today: August 10th

A permanent state of transition is man’s most noble condition.

Juan Ramon Jimenez

Change is not compatible with stubborn pride.  Growth does not happen in a climate of arrogance and know-it-all superiority.  The changes that are taking place in those who practice this program involve the total personality---thoughts, emotions, the way I see myself and other people.  These transitions require a willingness to let go old ideas, to place my faith in a Power greater than myself.  When I gave up my will, the gift of abstinence became mind and my compulsion to overeat was arrested.  My other defects are being removed as I become willing to give up my right to decide and control my life.

For Today:  To change, I must understand that giving up ins not giving in, nor is it failing.  It is no longer needing to be right.

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Paper Towels (written 4/26/10)

A weight loss journey is a lot like unraveling a roll of paper towels. At first, the roll is large & bulky...you're hungry & miserable....it seems like you'll never get to the end of the roll....it'll take forever. As each towel is removed from the roll, it gets smaller & smaller. When you first start removing towels, you don't see a change...you don't notice a difference. As the roll keeps unraveling though, you notice it's getting smaller & smaller. Every day you stay the course, you can imagine you're removing another paper towel from that roll. One day, you wake up & you're at the end of the roll: the tube is all that's left.

With each towel removed from the roll, you're uncovering another layer of yourself that's been buried for quite a while. What will you find under each layer? Another facet of yourself...another exciting discovery lies beneath each layer that has effectively cushioned you from life. You realize you can walk further without getting winded. You can reach down & tie your shoes without needing an oxygen tank afterward. You can fit comfortably in the seat of a movie theater without needing the jaws of life to extract you from it.

As each paper towel comes off the roll, you're freeing yourself from a bit more of your burden. You're freeing yourself from the obsession of overeating & the pain that keeps you locked up in your self-imposed prison. While removing those layers may leave you feeling exposed, you realize it's far better to FEEL something than to be numb.

Under those layers you may find the child you once were who is ready, once again, to experience life in a carefree & joyous manner, much like you used to. Maybe you'll go swimming with your kids & let them dunk you underwater. Maybe you won't care that your hair gets messed up...because you'll be wearing a swimsuit & living life instead of watching it from the sidelines, covered up & hiding out on a chaise lounge, planning a rich & carb-filled dinner for later on. Maybe you'll glide down the water slide & hear your kids tell you what a FUN mom or dad you are! That will be music to your ears that no food on earth could possibly provide, no matter how delicious.

When your roll of paper towels is finished, you can look back at all those sheets of paper scattered around you on the floor. You can recognize that each sheet represents a piece of YOU that's no longer there, weighing you down both body & spirit.

You can then use those paper towels to wipe up the tears you've cried over the years. To wipe up the mess of discarded hopes & dreams which vanished when you found abstinence. You will finally be able to dispose of those paper towels in the big old trash can outside, where they belong.

Yep, this journey is a lot like a roll of paper towels. And YOU are a lot like that roll of paper towels. Strong & absorbent, ready to soak up a whole NEW set of hopes & dreams which come along with a slim & healthy body & new eating habits which keep you free, at last, from the burden of obesity. One day at a time.