For Today: August 12th

A theorist without practice is a tree without fruit; and a devotee without learning is a house without an entrance.

Sa’di

If I talk a spiritual program and practice that program to the best of my ability, people ask me to share my experience.  They want what I have because what I have is obvious even to the newcomer.  If, on the other hand, I make suggestions I do not follow, my words are hollow sounds without conviction.

It is a waste to pretend to be something I am not, because I am missing out on the rewards of this program.  To start walking the way I talk, I need only the willingness to ask for help.

For Today:  It has been said that no one is too “dumb” to work the 12 Step program, but there are some who are too smart.  I pray to God to keep me from being too smart.

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Before I surrendered my powerlessness over food, I had 'outsmarted' myself right into obesity, misery & spiritual impoverishment.  I had all the answers.  I insisted on doing things 'my way' and there was no need to ask for help.  My 'fierce independence' and brilliant mind kept me stuck in a place where self-righteous pride was in charge.  

Only when I allowed God to be in charge was I able to set myself free from the burden of obesity and food obsession.

Today, I have no need to pretend; I work my program to the best of my ability and I speak the truth about it.  I am not perfect, I do not know everything, and I'm relieved to not be running the world all by myself.  To let go & let God is to relinquish control of something I truly have no control over.

It's too bad I didn't realize the power of surrender long ago. I could have avoided 40 years of failed diet attempts and all the pain that goes along with that.  To have spent all those years feeling shame & self-loathing is a sad thing. But then I see the blessing in it.......had I not felt the pain of compulsive overeating, I would never have found such a wonderful new way of life or such inner peace and serenity.

"There are no mistakes; no coincidences. Every event is given to us as blessings to learn from."  For today, I choose to look at my disease as a blessing.