A Weight Loss Journey

Sunday, July 10, 2016

Daily Recovery Readings: July 10th

Recovery Meditations: July 10th

SANITY
"Came to believe ...
That a power greater than ourselves ...
Could restore us to sanity."
Step Two

What a powerful statement! There's a power greater than me. At first glance it seemed so frightening. As I looked at my situation, it seemed impossible ... who or what could be greater than I am? To be "restored" to sanity meant I must be crazy. After all, that is what insanity means. My Higher Power happened to be my sponsor and she was determined enough to be that power, if only until I opened the door to another.

One day when my ears were open and my mouth shut, these words came from another sufferer: "God can." I thought to myself, "What?! What does 'God can' mean?" Later -- when my body was clean and my mind receptive -- those words came to mean a great deal to me. "God can" if I let Him. God can take away my compulsion to overeat. God can remove my desire for nicotine. God can take away my desire for booze. Yes, God can.

I no longer worry about what I can't accomplish because I know that "God can." So now when my day begins I think of what I can do right, and do it for today. That which I cannot do right -- I just let God handle that. We make a pretty good team, God and me.
One Day at a Time . . .
I let my Higher Power restore me to sanity.

~ Danny

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Each Day A New Beginning

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
—Eleanor Roosevelt

We are competent women. We made a wise choice for ourselves when we decided to recover. Each day that we continue working this program our Spirits are strengthened. And our gifts will multiply.

Feeling inferior can become a habit. Being passive and feeling inferior go hand-in-hand, and they prepare us for becoming dependent on alcohol, pills, food, and people. We didn't understand, instinctively, that we are just who we're meant to be. We grew up believing we were not smart enough, not pretty enough, not capable enough. We grew up too distant from the source of our real strength.

How wonderful for us that we found the program! How lucky we are to have, for the taking, all the strength we'll ever need to face any situation, to handle any problem, to resolve any personal relationship conflict. Feeling inferior can be only a bad memory. The choice is ours. The program promises a better life. The Steps promise the strength to move forward. Our friends promise us outstretched hands.

I will look forward to the challenges of today with hope and strength and know that I am able to meet them.

Food For Thought

A Progressive Illness
It is the experience of recovering compulsive overeaters that the illness is progressive. The disease does not get better; it gets worse. Even while we abstain, the illness progresses. If we were to break our abstinence, we would find that we had even less control over our eating than before.

Continued abstinence is our only means of health and sanity. We well remember the misery and despair that we felt when we were overeating, and we do not want to feel that way again. Abstaining from one compulsive bite is a small price to pay for health and sanity.

When we find ourselves thinking thoughts, which in the past have preceded loss of control, we need to realize the great danger that lies in a relapse. The OA program has saved us from the destruction of compulsive overeating, but our disease is still alive. Our program needs to be foremost in our minds every day if we are to continue recovering.

Do not let me forget my illness.

The Language of Letting Go

Ending Relationships

It takes courage and honesty to end a relationship - with friends, loved ones, or a work relationship.

Sometimes, it may appear easier to let the relationship die from lack of attention rather than risk ending it. Sometimes, it may appear easier to let the other person take responsibility for ending the relationship.

We may be tempted to take a passive approach. Instead of saying how we feel, what we want or don't want, or what we intend to do, we may begin sabotaging the relationship, hoping to force the other person to do the difficult work.

Those are ways to end relationships, but they are not the cleanest or the easiest ways.

As we walk this path of self-care, we learn that when it is time to end a relationship, the easiest way is one of honesty and directness. We are not being loving, gentle, or kind by avoiding the truth, if we know the truth.

We are not sparing the other person's feelings by sabotaging the relationship instead of accepting the end or the change, and doing something about it. We are prolonging and increasing the pain and discomfort - for the other person and ourselves.

If we don't know, if we are on the fence, it is more loving and honest to say that.

If we know it is time to terminate a relationship, say that.

Endings are never easy, but endings are not made easy by sabotage, indirectness, and lying about what we want and need to do. Say what you need to say, in honesty and love, when it is time. If we are trusting and listening to ourselves, we will know what to say and when to say it.

Today, I will remember that honesty and directness will increase my self-esteem. God, help me let go of my fear about owning my power to take care of myself in all my relationships.

Today's Gift

What a man thinks of himself, that is which determines, or rather indicates, his fate.
—Henry David Thoreau

Let us think of ourselves as made of dust, and allow us to be as proud of it as if it were true. For dust is everywhere. We see it in solemn rooms streaked by sun, dancing like fine angels in a cathedral light. It is the stuff of life. And it drifts down on fancy tables where the richest people eat. It cannot be denied a place. And it returns time and a time again like the seasons. It is one of the wonders of the world. And when no one sees or cares, it finds a secret corner in which to keep a solitary peace. It intends no harm. We find it at home on old leather books, the ones that preserve our noblest thoughts.

And from where we stand, it seems that even the stars are made of it. When we feel low, unworthy, or useless, let's remember that these feelings are only a small but important part of us, that even great things are made of small parts, and that we, as whole beings, are always greater than the sum of these parts.

What feelings am I made of today?

Saturday, July 9, 2016

Daily Recovery Readings: July 9th

Recovery Meditations: July 9th

CONTROL
“I offer you this prayer for all the difficult relationships in our lives:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change,
The courage to change the person I can,
And the wisdom to know that person is me.”
Rev. Mary Manin Morrissey

My disease tells me that my life would be so much better if people would only do what I tell them to do. If they would listen to me, I could solve all their problems, fix their lives, and everybody would be happy. Why can't they see that our relationships would be better if they'd just do what I say, and not what I do? Don't they realize that I know more than they do about how to run their lives?

Well, luckily for the people in my life, this disease lies. I DON'T know what's best for them. Because I have a disease of compulsion, I don't even know what's best for me. If I had known what was best for me, my life would not have been in shambles like it was before I found the Twelve Steps of recovery.

I had to come to the realization that my life had become unmanageable. Only then could I find a Higher Power to restore sanity to the crazy drama that had become my life ~ and to grant me the serenity which accompanies sanity. Now I realize the only person I can control is myself. I can't make other people change into what I want them to be, nor can I make them do what I think is best for them. Since I've begun letting my Higher Power restore me to sanity, I no longer want to be a control freak. I can't even fathom trying to run another person's life. I have enough on my hands just living my own life; I don't have the strength, knowledge or wisdom to live someone else's. I will always be grateful to my Higher Power for helping me to realize that.

One day at a time...
I will live my own life and allow others to live theirs.

~ Jeff

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Each Day A New Beginning

Of course, fortune has its part in human affairs, but conduct is really much more important.
—Jeanne Detourbey

It's not infrequent that we are faced with a dilemma; what is the best action to take in a certain situation? We can be guided, rightly, in every situation if we but turn inward and let our conscience direct our behavior. We have often heard it said at meetings that when we long for a message from God we will hear it, either through our conscience or in the words of our friends. Thus we can never really be in doubt; our conduct can always be above reproach if we but listen.

Right behavior leads to fortunate opportunities for those who look for them. Behavior that we're proud of seems to attract blessings in our lives. One's good fortune is really God-given and in proportion to one's willingness to act well toward others in all situations.

Simply, what goes around comes around. Our behavior comes back to us many fold. In our encounters with others today, we'll have numerous occasions to decide about the best behavior for the particular circumstance. We must not forget that our behavior elicits the responses we receive.

I will invite blessings today. I will also shower blessings on my friends.

Food For Thought

Tension or Hunger?

How often have we eaten because of tension, rather than hunger? Accepting our need for three measured meals a day with nothing in between establishes a sensible pattern, which satisfies our need for nourishment. When we are tense, we can find ways of relaxing which do not harm our body by making it fat.

Learning to relax the stomach muscles helps get rid of tension hunger. Often when we have eaten too fast because of tension, our stomach continues to send hunger signals after the meal. There has not been enough time for the digestive process to register satisfaction. We can consciously relax the muscles so that the feeling of emptiness will go away.

The best cure for tension is a growing faith in our Higher Power. If we are willing to trust Him in the little things of each day, as well as the big events of our life, we will be able to relax and cultivate serenity.

Dissolve my tension and feed my hunger, I pray.

The Language of Letting Go

Overspending and Underspending

I used to beat my husband to death with my credit card. It made me feel like I had some control, some way to get even with him.
—Anonymous

I spent ten years buying everything for myself at garage sales. I didn't even buy myself a new pair of shoes. The entire time I was depriving myself, my husband was gambling, speculating on risky business deals, and doing whatever he wanted with money. I learned that when I made a decision that I deserved to have the things I wanted, and made a decision to buy something I wanted, there was enough money to do it. It wasn't about being frugal; it was about depriving myself, and being a martyr.
—Anonymous

Compulsive buying or overspending may give us a temporary feeling of power or satisfaction, but like other out of control behaviors, it has predictable negative consequences.

Under spending can leave us feeling victimized too.

There is a difference between responsible spending and martyred deprivation. There is a difference between treating ourselves well financially and overspending. We can learn to discern that difference. We can develop responsible spending habits that reflect high self-esteem and love for ourselves.

Today, I will strive for balance in my spending habits. If I am overspending, I will stop and deal with what's going on inside me. If I am under spending or depriving myself, I will ask myself if that's necessary and what I want.

Today's Gift

A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary.
—Dorothy Canfield Fisher

A strong, healthy tree is one which is free to grow straight and tall. A weak tree often must lean against another for support. It is not that different with people. We are not healthy and strong when we must always lean on another to support us.

This doesn't mean it isn't healthy to accept help. But the best help we can get or give is that which enables us to do things without it. Sometimes we think we lose a relationship when others don't need our help, or when we don't need theirs all the time. The reverse is true. Only when we are each strong enough to stand on our own can we really share the kind of help, which allows both, helped and helper to be independent.

Have I been giving the right kind of help?

Friday, July 8, 2016

Daily Recovery Readings: July 8th

Recovery Meditations: July 8th

~ ACTION ~
"He does not believe who does not live his belief."
Thomas Fuller

It's an old axiom that actions speak louder than words. Our Twelve Step program is one of action, no matter how much we want to avoid working the Steps. The Big Book states that IF you want what we have, you will do what we did. That also means the opposite ... if you don't want what we have, don't do it. The insanity of this disease is expecting a different result by continually doing the same old thing. Sanity is giving up what didn't work and daring to try something new.

One day at a time ...
I am going to trust that obedience to the program will, in time, restore me to sanity.
~ Jeremiah ~

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Each Day A New Beginning

Women like to sit down with trouble as if it were knitting.
—Ellen Glasgow

How often we turn minor challenges into monumental barriers by giving them undue attention, forgetting that within any problem lies its solution! However, the center of our focus must be off the problem's tangle if we are to find the solution's thread. The best remedy for this dilemma is the Serenity Prayer.

We cannot change our children, our husbands or partners, not even the best friends who we know love us. But with God's help we can change the attitude that has us blocked at this time. A changed attitude, easing up on ourselves, lessening our expectations of others, will open the door to the kind of relationships we seek, the smooth flowing days we long for.

We need not take life so seriously. In fact, we shouldn't take it so seriously. We can measure our emotional health by how heartily we laugh with others and at ourselves. The 24 hours stretching before us at this time promises many choices in attitude. We can worry, be mad, depressed, or frustrated, or we can trust our higher power to see us through whatever the situation. So, we can relax. It is our decision, the one decision over which we are not powerless.

I will be in control of my attitude today. I can have the kind of day I long for.

Food for Thought

Stronger or Weaker?

Every time I say no to the craving for just one small, extra bite, I become stronger. Every time I give in, I weaken myself and make it harder to say no the next time.

Abstinence from compulsive overeating is made up of many small decisions. We gradually acquire the knowledge of what we can handle and what we should avoid. This knowledge applies to situations and attitudes as well as food. As we work our program and make the right decisions, we gain strength.

Since none of us is perfect, we do not need to become discouraged when we make mistakes. We are learning how to live, and our failures teach us more than our successes. Growth is slow, but if we keep coming back to OA and the program, we will see results beyond our wildest expectations. OA gives us the strength to become new people.

For growing stronger, we thank You.

The Language of Letting Go

Going with the Flow

Go with the flow.

Let go of fear and your need to control. Relinquish anxiety. Let it slip away, as you dive into the river of the present moment, the river of your life, your place in the universe.

Stop trying to force the direction. Try not to swim against the current, unless it is necessary for your survival. If you've been clinging to a branch at the riverside, let go.

Let yourself move forward. Let yourself be moved forward.

Avoid the rapids when possible. If you can't, stay relaxed. Staying relaxed can take your safely through fierce currents. If you go under for a moment, allow yourself to surface naturally. You will.

Appreciate the beauty of the scenery, as it is. See things with freshness, with newness. You shall never pass by today's scenery again!

Don't think too hard about things. The flow is meant to be experienced. Within it, care for yourself. You are part of the flow, an important part. Work with the flow. Work within the flow. Thrashing about isn't necessary. Let the flow help you care for yourself. Let it help you set boundaries, make decisions, and get you where you need to be when it is time. You can trust the flow, and your part in it.

Today, I will go with the flow.

Today's Gift

Hurry, hurry has no blessing.
—Swahili Proverb

In a busy family there is a lot of activity. We sometimes feel imprisoned by all the work, school, extracurricular activities, housework, meetings, and special events. In the press to do it all, we may lose our peace because of the hurry. We rush to eat; we rush to work; we rush to get there on time. Much of this cannot be helped. But hurry has no blessing, as the proverb goes. We can create quick tempers and a lot of frustration if we try to hurry too much.

When we allow enough time to slow things down, we give ourselves a chance to enjoy what we're doing, and to develop along spiritual lines. Inner peace depends on our keeping a balance in all the things we do. Only then can we feel the joy that comes from having enough time to do things quietly and smoothly, and value the inner peace that comes when we do not hurry.

How can I take my time today and enjoy myself?

Thursday, July 7, 2016

Daily Recovery Readings: July 7th

Recovery Meditations: July 7th

FEAR
“Few persons live up to the faith which they really have.
Unreasoned fear is a master intellectual fraud
practiced upon the evolving mortal soul.”
The Urantia Book

“Unreasoned fear” was my main problem for most of my life. I lived with a myriad of fears which seemed to be too awesome and terrible to face. I love the fact that since finding this recovery program, I no longer have to live in fear. What wondrous freedom I found in the realization that unreasoned fear is “intellectual fraud!”

One slogan I recall about fear says: “Future Events Appear Real.” That is the first one that really helped me to realize that most of my fears were not based on what was real. By working the Steps of this program I have managed to stop attempting to live in a future filled with fear. When I focus on just being here now -- living in this moment only -- I don't have to run from fear.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will stay in this moment. I will look at the people and things that are here right now and enjoy what my Higher Power has given me.
~ Steph

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Each Day A New Beginning

. . . that is what learning is. You suddenly understand something you've understood all your life, but in a new way.
—Doris Lessing

As we are changed by our experiences, that which we know also changes. Our experiences foster growth and enlightenment, and all awarenesses give way to new understandings. We are forever students of life blessed with particular lessons designed only for us. There is joy in knowing that learning has no end and that each day offers us a chance to move closer to becoming the persons we are meant to be.

To understand something more deeply requires that we be open to the ideas of others, willing to part with our present opinions. The program offers us many opportunities to trade in the understandings we've outgrown. Throughout our recovery we have discovered new interpretations of old ideas. And we will continue to expand our understanding.

Every situation, every person, every feeling, every idea has a slightly different hue each time we encounter it. The wonder of this is that life is forever enriched, forever fresh.

Each moment offers me a chance to know better who I am and to understand more fully the real contribution that is mine to make in this life. I will let the anticipation of my changing ideas excite me.

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Food For Thought

Life Is Opportunity

Each morning when we wake up, we thank our Higher Power for another day of abstaining. Each hour that is given to us is a chance to grow and learn and serve. We can believe that God has a plan for every day that he gives us and that He will reveal the plan step by step as we listen for His guidance.

If we are too intent on carrying out our personal ideas and projects, we may miss the directions that come from God. We need to remain open and flexible so that He may use us as He chooses.

Considering the time and tasks that we have as opportunities to serve saves us from self-centered worry and anxiety. We do not have to be compulsive about our work and activities. God knows our capabilities and will not give us more than we can handle. He is always ready to direct our efforts when we turn to Him.

Thank You for the opportunity to live and serve today.

The Language of Letting Go

Getting It All Out

Let yourself have a good gripe session.
From: " Woman, Sex, and Addiction"
—Charlotte Davis Kasl, Ph.D.

Get it out. Go ahead. Get it all out. Once we begin recovery, we may feel like it's not okay to gripe and complain. We may tell ourselves that if we were really working a good program, we wouldn't need to complain.

What does that mean? We won't have feelings? We won't feel overwhelmed? We won't need to blow off steam or work through some not so pleasant, not so perfect, and not so pretty parts of life?

We can let ourselves get our feelings out, take risks, and be vulnerable with others. We don't have to be all put together, all the time. That sounds more like codependency than recovery.

Getting it all out doesn't mean we need to be victims. It doesn't mean we need to revel in our misery, finding status in our martyrdom. It doesn't mean we won't go on to set boundaries. It doesn't mean we won't take care of ourselves.

Sometimes, getting it all out is an essential part of taking care of ourselves. We reach a point of surrender so we can move forward.

Self-disclosure does not mean only quietly reporting our feelings. It means we occasionally take the risk to share our human side-the side with fears, sadness, hurt, rage, unreasonable anger, weariness, or lack of faith.

We can let our humanity show. In the process, we give others permission to be human too. "Together" people have their not so together moments. Sometimes, falling apart - getting it all out - is how we get put back together.

Today, I will let it all out if I need a release.

Today's Gift

I found words to every thought I ever had, but one . . .
—Emily Dickinson

What kinds of thoughts can't be put into words? We feel lost in space, mind-boggled by how small and big the stars are. We are sure and unsure about death, its blank and steady stare. Or we have done something that makes us feel both good and bad. Sometimes we hate someone we love, but we aren't sure what hate is, or love. We are scared of crowds and afraid of being abandoned, always alone. Sometimes we just want to laugh and cry, and when words fail we expect someone to know what our silences mean.

What are some ways I try to express my feelings without using words?

Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Daily Recovery Readings: July 6th

Recovery Meditations: July 6th

SUFFERING

“The desire to stop suffering
is not the same thing as the desire to stop the behavior
we are doing which causes us to suffer.”
Dr. James Golden

Our disease of addiction causes tremendous suffering to ourselves and to those around us. It consumes our lives and often leads to painful losses. No matter how profoundly we long to be rid of our disease, recovery is not something that falls into our laps just because we want it. We don’t magically stop being compulsive eaters just because that’s our desire. It would be great if recovery happened magically and all we’d have to do is say, "I don't want this disease any more; I don’t want to suffer any longer." If it were that easy, we'd immediately find ourselves in a place of complete and total recovery. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way.

In the depths of my disease I cried out to the God of my understanding to help me achieve abstinence and an alleviation of my suffering. What was the answer to my prayers? This wonderful Twelve Step program.

One of the first things I learned was that I could wish and hope and pray, but until I put feet to my prayers and actually started working the Steps, I wouldn’t recover from my disease. God will only do for us what He can do through us. If I’m not willing to do even a little bit of the work, I shouldn’t expect recovery. If I won’t take the first step on this journey, I can’t expect to reach my final destination. I can do some things for myself -- like putting the Steps into practice -- but what about the things I can’t do for myself? I’ll let God handle those.

One day at a time...
I’ll remember that it’s not enough
to want to stop suffering from my disease;
I also need to do some footwork to make it happen.

~ Jeff

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Each Day A New Beginning

Peace, she supposed, was contingent upon a certain disposition of the soul, a disposition to receive the gift that only detachment from self made possible.
—Elizabeth Goudge
Self-centeredness, egocentrism, and selfishness are familiar to most of us. We have judged our world and all the situations and people in it in terms of how their existence affects our own. We have become tied to him or to her or to a situation just as surely as an anchor to a boat. Most of us learned in very early childhood to read others' behaviors. And we determined our own worth accordingly.

As adult women we still struggle, trying to read another's actions, hoping to find acceptance. Which means we are always vulnerable, exposing our "self" to the whims of other, equally vulnerable "selves." What we search for is peace and security. We think if others love and accept us, we'll be at peace. We'll know serenity. A most important lesson for us to learn in this life is that peace is assured when we anchor ourselves to our God. Peace, well-being, serene joy will accompany our every step when we expose our vulnerable selves to God's care and only God's care. We'll no longer need to worry about the self we try to protect. It will be handled with care.

Peace awaits me today. I will look to God, and only God, to know that all is well, that I am all that I need to be.

Food For Thought

Dual Personalities

It is as if we are each two people. When we are abstaining, we are calm, confident, and capable of handling the demands of every day. When we are in contact with our Higher Power, we have the right mental perspective and God's peace and love in our hearts.

Slipping back into the old attitudes and habits of our compulsive overeating days brings back our frightened, confused, and despairing selves. We lose our ability to function efficiently. We are antagonistic to those around us. Worst of all, we are cut off from the source of strength and light.

Remembering that the negative personality will destroy us makes us more determined not to give in to it. Abstinence, day by day, is our safety. Reliance on the OA group, our Twelve Step program, and our Higher Power keeps us living the good, new life of freedom.

Deliver me from my negative personality.

The Language of Letting Go

Step Seven

Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
—Step Seven of Al-Anon

In the Sixth and Seventh Steps of the program, we become willing to let go of our defects of character - issues, behaviors, old feelings, unresolved grief, and beliefs that are blocking us from the joy that is ours. Then we ask God to take them from us.

Isn't that simple? We don't have to contort ourselves to make ourselves change. We don't have to force change. For once, we don't have to "do it ourselves." All we have to do is strive for an attitude of willingness and humility. All we have to do is ask God for what we want and need, and then trust God to do for us that which we cannot do and do not have to do for ourselves.

We do not have to watch with bated breath for how and when we shall change. This is not a self-help program. In this miraculous and effective program that has brought about recovery and change for millions, we become changed by working the Steps.

Today, God, help me surrender to recovery and to the process by which I become changed. Help me focus on the Step I need. Help me do my part, relax, and allow the rest to happen.

Today's Gift

Forgiveness is all-powerful. Forgiveness heals all ills.
—Catherine Ponder

Getting mad at someone, a friend perhaps, is normal. Everybody gets mad sometimes. But when we stay mad for very long, it ruins all the fun we'd planned on having throughout the day. Staying mad multiplies. Sometimes it seems we are mad at the dog, our mom, and another friend, even the TV.

Forgiving the people we're mad at works like magic. We don't even have to forgive them out loud. We can forgive them in our own minds. The result is the same. Pretty soon the whole day looks bright again. When we're mad, we are the ones who suffer most.

Who can I forgive today, and make my day a better one?

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

Daily Recovery Readings: July 5th

Recovery Meditations: July 5th

OVERCOMING RELAPSE
"Come, whoever you are! Wanderer, worshipper,
Lover of Leaving. Come, this is not a caravan of despair.
It doesn't matter if you've broken your vow a thousand times.
Still, and yet again, come, come."
Rumi

Perhaps the best thing my recovery plan has given me is finding the gift of inspiration almost anywhere. The above quote is such an example. Mevlana Jelalu'ddin Rumi was a Persian poet and theologian who lived from 1207 to 1273. Rumi also seemed to understand recovery quite well, judging from this quote.

I have fallen so many times on my recovery path. Once down, the disease really starts talking to me. "You're already down; you may as well stay down," it will say. Or, "You screwed up your food plan, so you might as well eat this, too." On and on, it never fails.

That's why this quote from Rumi means so much to me. My Higher Power sent it as an invitation to begin again, however many times I need. Even if I slip over and over and over, I can always begin again. My Higher Power and this program of recovery are very forgiving, and I can pick up and move on. I needn't fear failure, because I only fail if I don't get up and forge ahead.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will remember that I may fall, but I can get up again. I can begin anew, and know that I will overcome relapse when I make a fresh start.
~ Jeff

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Each Day A New Beginning

There are really only two ways to approach life--as victim or as gallant fighter-and you must decide if you want to act or react, deal your own cards or play with a stacked deck. And if you don't decide which way to play with life, it always plays with you.
—Merle Shain

Being the victim is, or was, uncomfortably familiar to many of us. Perhaps some of us are only now realizing we have choices, that we need not let life happen to us. Becoming responsible to ourselves, choosing behavior, beliefs, friends, activities, that please us, though unfamiliar at first, soon exhilarates us. The more choices we make, the more alive we feel. The more alive we feel, the healthier our choices.

Our aim is recovery. Recovering means participating fully in our lives. It means self-assessment and self-direction. It means trusting to move forward, step-by-step, choice-by-choice, knowing all the while that no thoughtful action can trouble us.

Many opportunities to make choices will present themselves today. The choices I make will satisfy me; they will move me toward my goal of recovery.

Food For Thought

Ignore the Craving

Old habits die hard, and for a long time we may experience our old craving for that "small," compulsive bite. The craving will not hurt us, and eventually it will pass if we ignore it. If we give in to the craving, it does not go away but becomes stronger. To feed the craving is to pour gasoline on a fire.

When we experience the craving for unnecessary food, we need to find something else to occupy our attention. If possible, we should physically remove ourselves from the tempting situation. If that is impossible, we need to ask our Higher Power for the strength to remain abstinent and to ignore the demands of our over blown appetite. God never allows us to be tempted beyond our ability to endure. He is always here to support us when we turn and ask for help.

May I listen to You and ignore harmful cravings.

The Language of Letting Go

Survivor Guilt

We begin recovering. We begin taking care of ourselves. Our recovery program starts to work in our life, and we begin to feel good about ourselves.

Then it hits. Guilt.

Whenever we begin to experience the fullness and joy of life, we may feel guilty about those we've left behind - those not recovering, those still in pain. This survivor guilt is a symptom of codependency.

We may think about the husband we've divorced who is still drinking. We may dwell on a child, grown or adult, still in pain. We may get a phone call from a non-recovering parent who relates his or her misery to us. And we feel pulled into their pain.

How can we feel so happy, so good, when those we love are still in misery? Can we really break away and lead satisfying lives, despite their circumstances? Yes, we can.

And yes, it hurts to leave behind those we love. But keep moving forward anyway. Be patient. Other people's recovery is not our job. We cannot make them recover. We cannot make them happy.

We may ask why we were chosen for a fuller life. We may never know the answer. Some may catch up in their own time, but their recovery is not our business. The only recovery we can truly claim is our own.

We can let go of others with love, and love ourselves without guilt.

Today, I am willing to work through my sadness and guilt. I will let myself be healthy and happy, even though someone I love has not chosen the same path.

Today's Gift

In uplifting, get underneath.
—George Ade

A sandpile in the summer is deceiving. The topmost sand burns hot on our feet. But as we push down toward the center, we come to a damp, cool place that soothes and oozes between our toes.

The nature of most things is not revealed at the surface. Like the sandpile, many people and situations we encounter are, on the surface, downright uncomfortable. The reward is in digging deeper-to the essential goodness, the core or meaning, the true friend. It takes time, a little knowledge, and abundant trust that we will not be burned.

What have I discovered by digging a little lately?

Monday, July 4, 2016

Daily Recovery Readings: July 4th

Recovery Meditations: July 4th

YES AND NO

“Let your ‘no’ be ‘no’ and your ‘yes’ be ‘yes.’”
The Bible, Book of James

The disease of compulsive eating really warps a person's life. Many compulsive overeaters become people-pleasers and do not know how to set boundaries. We end up not being able to say "No." However, we also end up saying "Yes" to our disease. In the depths of our disease we lose complete control in our lives.

This program of recovery helps us to set our lives back in order. When we give our disease over to our Higher Power, work the Twelve Steps and practice the principles of our program, we see that our lives can be turned around ~ and daily we have victory over our disease.

One day at a time...
I will say "No" to my disease and "Yes" to recovery by working the Twelve Steps, surrendering to my Higher Power, and living the principles of my program.

~ Jeff

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Each Day A New Beginning

One doesn't recognize in one's life the really important moments-not until it's too late.
—Agatha Christie

Every moment is special and offers us an opportunity-to let an experience change us in an important way, to invite another person into our life, to nurture the growing, changing woman within. Life's events move so rapidly we seldom relish the moments individually, but each day teems with tiny gifts divinely designed for our well-being. The woman smiled at in the grocery store yesterday or the man acknowledged on the bus last week felt special. And we were softened, too, by our expression.

We change, and we change our world when we acknowledge one another's presence in it. The wonderful reality is that we are in another's world because of the special qualities we each have and are able to share with one another.

For many of us, in times past, no moment felt important. The days were simply long and painful. But now, we can relish even the past pain for what it taught us. We know now that we can look to this day before us with expectation. We can be conscious of every moment, thankful for every experience and every person we encounter.

In this inner game of life, I share the court, and I will have my turn to serve. To really live, I must participate fully.

Food For Thought

Holidays

Holidays come and holidays go. Our choice remains the same: to abstain or to overeat.

Most holidays are associated with an overabundance of special food. Those who are not compulsive overeaters may be able to indulge for a day. We cannot. For us, one day's indulgence is usually the start of a downward skid into loss of control and the despair, which follows. What kind of a celebration is it if we end up back in the trap of compulsive overeating?

Every day we may celebrate our freedom by abstaining. When holidays come, we enjoy them more by abstaining than we ever did by indulging. We are free from guilt and remorse and the terrible panic that seizes us when we lose control. We are free to think about the deeper significance of the holiday-whatever the celebration, it is more than a reason to eat and drink.

When abstinence remains the most important part of our life, no matter what day it is, then every day is a celebration and holidays are blessings instead of disasters.

Lord, may I celebrate this day and every day by abstaining.

The Language of Letting Go

Celebrate

Take time to celebrate.

Celebrate your successes, your growth, and your accomplishments. Celebrate you and who you are.

For too long you have been too hard on yourself. Others have spilled their negative energy - their attitudes, beliefs, and pain - on you. It had nothing to do with you! All along, you have been a gift to yourself and to the Universe.

You are a child of God. Beautiful, a delight, a joy. You do not have to try harder, be better, be perfect, or be anything you are not. Your beauty is in you, just as you are each moment.

Celebrate that.

When you have a success, when you accomplish something, enjoy it. Pause, reflect, and rejoice. Too long you have listened to admonitions not to feel good about what you have done, lest you travel the downward road to arrogance.

Celebration is a high form of praise, of gratitude to the Creator for the beauty of God's creation. To enjoy and celebrate the good does not mean that it will be taken from you. To celebrate is to delight in the gift, to show gratitude.

Celebrate your relationships! Celebrate the lessons from the past and the love and warmth that are there today. Enjoy the beauty of others and their connection to you.

Celebrate all that is in your life. Celebrate all that is good. Celebrate you!

Today, I will indulge in the joy of celebrating.

Today's Gift

In Micronesian, there's a word, kukaro, which has no corresponding word in English. When people say they are going to kukaro, they mean they are going to relax, sit around, and hang out. They are being, not doing.
—Eli and Beth Halpern

As children, our best times are often trips to an amusement park, fishing at the lake, camping, or just sitting idly under a tree. These make the best memories, and times sitting around a campfire roasting marshmallows or having a root beer after a family outing seem to bring out the love we share.

We don't seem to be accomplishing anything at these times. No chores are getting done around the house, no schoolwork, no repairs, and no moneymaking.

But these times of peace, relaxation, and a sense of endless time of being, not doing, may be essential to our ability to get other things done later. Certainly we are most receptive to our feelings, new ideas, and unplanned adventures at these moments. Maybe we should add kukaro to our vocabulary.

What timeless thing can I do today?

Sunday, July 3, 2016

Daily Recovery Readings: July 3rd

Recovery Meditations: July 3rd

HOPE

“Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all.”
Emily Dickinson

I wanted desperately to lose weight, be happy, be spiritually and emotionally fulfilled, and feel serenity in my soul. How long must one wait in a single lifetime to achieve these things? How long must one function day-to-day at a fairly high level, only to close the door at night to a world of emptiness? How long must one go without hope?

My compulsion for food had come close to destroying my life. I was in a constant state of denial that the simple act of eating food could account for a life run amok and totally unmanageable. But the truth of the matter is that it could ... and it did.

I found Twelve Steps that empowered me to do things I'd never dreamed of doing. These Twelve Steps enabled me to see the simple reality that compulsive eating could destroy my life. They showed me that life was beautiful and that my disease could turn out to be my greatest blessing. The Twelve Steps gave me something so precious that I am in awe of their power .... something so empowering that I had to admit powerlessness in order to become powerful. The Twelve Steps gave me the most beautiful gift I have ever received ... a gift that no one can ever take away from me ... a gift that I treasure above all gifts: hope. They gave me the gift of hope.

One day at a time...
I will hold onto my hope.
One day at a time ... I will treasure my hope.
One day at a time ... hope perches in my soul.
One day at a time ... hope sings its song.

~ Mari

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Each Day A New Beginning

No one can build (her) security upon the nobleness of another person.
—Willa Cather

Where do we look for our security? Do we look to our husbands or our lovers? Do we look to a parent or our children? Perhaps we seek our security in our jobs. But none of these avenues brings lasting contentment, as we've each probably discovered, just as pills, alcohol, or maybe food failed to give us lasting security.

Security of the spirit is with us from our birth. It's just that we haven't tapped into the source. Perhaps we don't even know the source, but it's been with us always, awaiting our realization of it.

No step do we ever take alone. Each breath we take is in partnership with the eternal source of strength and security within us. We have the choice to accept this partnership any time. And this guarantee of security in all things at all times is the gift of freedom.

Our desire for security is God-given. The security we desire is also given by God to us. We are secure today and every day.

Each step I take is in concert with my higher power. I need experience nothing alone. I can breathe in and tap the plentiful source of strength awaiting me, now.

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
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Food For Thought

Rest in God

Fatigue is one of our worst enemies. Sometimes it is our own unnecessary busyness and over ambition, which wears us out, and sometimes, the cause of our fatigue seems unavoidable. Depression and weariness go hand in hand.

It was our habit to reach for something to eat when we were tired. We may still crave refined sugar and carbohydrates as a quick boost when our energy lags. Instead of these substances, which we know will let us down, we need to turn to our Higher Power for rest and refreshment.

Even better than waiting until we are fatigued to ask for help is the habit of resting continuously in God. We may then carry on our activities knowing that we are upheld by His power, and we will avoid the exhaustion of trying to accomplish everything by our own efforts.

May I remember to rest in You.

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The Language of Letting Go

Directness

So much of our communication can reflect our need to control. We say what we think others want to hear. We try to keep others from getting angry, feeling afraid, going away, or disliking us. But our need to control traps us into feeling like victims and martyrs.

Freedom is just a few words away. Those words are our truths. We can say what we need to say. We can gently, but assertively, speak our mind.

Let go of your need to control. We do not need to be judgmental, tactless, blaming, or cruel when we speak our truths. Neither do we need to hide our light. Let go, and freely be who you are.

Today, I will be honest with others, and myself knowing that if I don't, my truth will come out some other way.

Today's Gift

You are here for a purpose. There is not a duplicate of you in the whole wide world; there never has been, there never will be. You were brought here now to fill a certain need. Take time to think that over.
—Lou Austin

No other person is exactly like you or me. No one can do exactly what we can, or touch another person in exactly the way we can. Out of all the people who could have been created, we were chosen to be a part of this time and place.

We are needed to fulfill a plan, in our families as well as in our relationships. Knowing we have unique abilities, we will spend less time feeling jealous of what others can do.

Through our dreams and yearnings, God shows us who we can be. It is up to us to have the courage to follow that dream with action.

What unique gift can I offer the world today?

Saturday, July 2, 2016

Daily Recovery Readings: July 2nd

Recovery Meditations: July 2nd

COMMITMENT
"One small step for a man ~
One giant leap for mankind."
Neil Armstrong

When I came into program, I was very overwhelmed by the idea of commitment. The thought of committing to a food plan or exercise regime was more than I could comprehend; in fact, I would feel panic rising in me at the thought of it. I would have dreams of being a mouse caught in a corner with nowhere to run. I would throw in the proverbial monkey wrench after a short time, and soon be on my own turf ... the desperation and depression which were my "old friends" would reappear, and I would be back into my "safe" and always-waiting disease.

This recovery program taught me "one day at a time;" it taught me to put one foot in front of the other; that for one day I could do what I couldn't do, or even fathom doing, for a lifetime. This is how I found abstinence. Breaking up my days, weeks, months and years into 24-hour periods allows me to live in the now, and not feel swallowed up in thinking that I have to do this for the rest of my life.

One Day at a Time . . .
The steps may seem small, it may even look as though I'm not moving at all, but with God's help I make giant leaps toward wellness and peace of mind.
~ Shana

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Each Day A New Beginning

Humor is such a strong weapon, such a strong answer. Women have to make jokes about themselves, laugh about themselves, because they have nothing to lose.
—Agnes Varda
Laughter can cure a physical condition; it can and will positively affect an emotional illness as well. Laughter ushers in a new perspective which gives vent to a changed attitude. And our attitude toward any situation, any individual, is all-powerful.

A negative, critical attitude toward our financial situation, toward our disease, toward our boss, or spouse, or children, determines how we feel moment by moment. In like manner, when we raise our sights, look at the world with lightness in our hearts, expecting to enjoy the day, the people, the activity, we'll succeed.

Finding humor in a situation, any situation prevents us from succumbing to feelings of powerlessness. Feeling powerless, behaving as victims, came easily for many of us before we chose this program and the Twelve Steps to live by. Choosing a humorous response, opting to laugh at our situation, at any point in time, keeps our personal power where it belongs-with ourselves.

My emotional health depends on my active involvement in deciding who I am, right now. Deciding to chuckle rather than snarl will give me an unexpected emotional boost.

Food For Thought

Spiritual Strength

What we compulsive overeaters need in order to control our disease is spiritual strength. If we are strong spiritually, we will not turn to food to fill our inner emptiness. We overate because we were spiritually impoverished, and overeating further depleted our spirits.

Paradoxically, we are strongest spiritually when we are most aware of our weakness. In order for our Higher Power to take over, we must recognize and admit our powerlessness. Spiritual strength comes to those who have the necessary humility to receive it.

We do not acquire this strength overnight. The more time we spend each day in communion with God, the stronger we become. Cultivating the awareness of His presence as we go about our activities enables us to rely more and more on His strength and less and less on our own.

Strengthen us with spiritual food so that we do not need to overeat.

The Language of Letting Go

Who Knows Best?

Others do not know what's best for us.

We do not know what's best for others.

It is our job to determine what's best for ourselves.

"I know what you need." . . . "I know what you should do." . . . "Now listen, this is what I think you should be working on right now."

These are audacious statements, beliefs that take us away from how we operate on a spiritual plane of life. Each of us is given the ability to be able to discern and detect our own path, on a daily basis. This is not always easy. We may have to struggle to reach that quiet, still place.

Giving advice, making decisions for others, mapping out their strategy, is not our job. Nor is it their job to direct us. Even if we have a clean contract with someone to help us - such as in a sponsorship relationship - we cannot trust that others always know what is best for us. We are responsible for listening to the information that comes to us. We are responsible for asking for guidance and direction. But it is our responsibility to sift and sort through information, and then listen to ourselves about what is best for us. Nobody can know that but ourselves.

A great gift we can give to others is to be able to trust in them - that they have their own source of guidance and wisdom, that they have the ability to discern what is best for them and the right to find that path by making mistakes and learning.

To trust ourselves to be able to discover - through that same imperfect process of struggle, trial, and error - is a great gift we can give ourselves.

Today, I will remember that we are each given the gift of being able to discover what is best for ourselves. God, help me trust that gift.

Today's Gift

Now my soul hath elbowroom.
—William Shakespeare

If we spend too much time together we are bound to grow weary of one another. This would happen regardless of who the other person was. In a family, we need some time apart to pursue other interests and friendships. We may be able to meet many needs for each other, but there will be some we cannot meet. If we press too hard upon one another we will cramp our life together.

Our needs for space aren't just physical. Freedom to think and feel what seems appropriate for us, to be alone if we want, is a large part of our lives together. Only with this kind of freedom is love possible. Love requires freedom. We need to value each other, and at the same time realize that no one person or family can fill us with all life has to offer.

What are my own freedoms at home?

Friday, July 1, 2016

Daily Recovery Readings: July 1st

Recovery Meditations: July 1st

THE BOTTOM
"Those who cannot remember the past
are condemned to repeat it."
George Santayana

Sometimes we have to go to the absolute bottom. If we're extremely lucky, the absolute bottom is where we find our inspiration. Sometimes I think that people who don't hit absolute bottom are missing a valuable experience. Then again, living life on the edge of that precipice is no fun at all. The greatest gift is to be able to step away from the edge and live life without the fear of falling.

If we aren't extremely lucky, what we find at the absolute bottom is a trapdoor that opens to a vast, empty space. The door opens and the empty space gratefully accepts the body and the soul given to it.
One Day at a Time . . .
I will stop living on the edge;
I will stop regretting my past;
I will avoid the trapdoor.
~ Richard H.

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Each Day A New Beginning

It's quite uncomfortable to be an adolescent at age thirty-two.
—Peggy Cahn

Our lives are in process every moment, which means change is ever-present. As new information is sorted and acquired, old habits are discarded. We don't let go of some old behaviors easily, however. They are like comfortable shoes. They may be worn thin, and they probably embarrass us in certain company, but we slip them on unconsciously and then it's too late.

Maturity is an "as if" behavior, initially. Emotional development was stunted, for most of us, with the onset of our addictive behavior, thus, we often respond to situations like adolescents. Application of the "as if" principle will result both in new personal attitudes and unfamiliar, yet welcome, responses from others. Acting as if we are capable, strong, confident, or serene will pave the way for making those behaviors real, after a time. If we believe in ourselves and our ability to become the women we strive to be, we can then move forward confidently.

When my behavior embarrasses or shames me, I will accept the responsibility for changing it. Changing it offers immediate rewards. The people around me will react in refreshing ways, and I'll feel more fully alive.

Food For Thought

Saying No

There are times when all of us find it difficult to say no. Even though we realize intellectually that we cannot have and do everything, we have trouble saying no to the foods, activities, and people that are not good for us.

Abstaining means saying "No, thank you" when offered something not on our food plan. We may think that we are afraid of hurting someone else's feelings by our refusal, but usually it is our own compulsive desire that prevents us from giving a firm no. Our sanity and health are more important than pleasing whoever is offering what we should not have.

As we work the program, we become more aware of the people and activities that use up our energies unnecessarily. Avoiding them gives us more time and strength for what means most to us. Learning when and how to say no is a very important part of our recovery. Most often, the person we need to say no to is ourself.

I pray for the strength to say no to what is not good for me.

The Language of Letting Go

Receiving

Here is an exercise.

Today let someone give to you. Let someone do something nice for you. Let someone give you a compliment or tell you something good about yourself. Let someone help you.

Then, stand there and take it. Take it in. Feel it. Know that you are worthy and deserving. Do not apologize. Do not say, "You shouldn't have." Do you feel guilty, afraid, ashamed, and panicky? Do not immediately try to give something back.

Just say, "Thank you."

Today, I will let myself receive one thing from someone else, and I will let myself be comfortable with that.

Today's Gift

Those who contemplate the beauty of the earth find reserves of strength that will endure as long as life lasts.
—Rachel Carson

Beauty is everywhere. It is in the daisies, in the lavender wildflowers, in the new green grass of spring. As we walk through life, noticing such beauty strengthens us. It reminds us of the spiritual creative force alive in this world. On better days, we can feel our own creativity gaining power from such beauty. On harder days, nature's sunset can help us step out of our suffering for a moment to be comforted and inspired by its splendor.

Even storms, in their wild and angry way, show us a power greater than ourselves. Such awesome beauty is beyond our understanding, and yet it is part of the earth we live on.

What lessons will nature teach me today?