A Weight Loss Journey

Lealonnie

Recovery Meditations: May 21st

THOUGHTS

“The universe is transformation;
our lives are what our thoughts make it.”
Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

The power of our thoughts is astounding, and my negative thoughts kept me in chains for many years. I was constantly thinking of what was not right, what I didn't do right, what needs of mine went unmet. My life was miserable by my own making. My own thoughts kept me in a prison of negativity. The only person who had the key was me. For many years I stayed locked in, not knowing the key was in my possession..

When I came to the program I learned that I had responsibility for my “side of the street.” I finally came to understand that I was able to change my thinking, one day at a time. It was a slow process. It took a life-time to learn negative thinking patterns, and it took years to learn positive thinking patterns. Using the tools of the program was the key to re-educating my mind. At meetings I heard positive statements that others made about themselves and me. Reading program literature was always a positive experience. As I chose nurturing, loving sponsors, they affirmed me and my baby steps toward wholeness and healing. All of these, and other tools, worked slowly to bring about an awareness that I held the key to my own prison door and gave me the courage to take the key and free myself from negativity..

One day at a time...
I will choose positive thoughts and actions that bring me freedom.

~ Carolyn H.

My Certified Health Coach Website

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Each Day a New Beginning

Our friends were not unearthly beautiful, Nor spoke with tongues of gold; our lovers blundered now and again when we most sought perfection . . .
—Adrienne Rich

So often our expectations exceed reality. We want more than we have; our homes, our loved ones, perhaps our jobs seem not to measure up. "If only. . ." we say to ourselves. The time has come to quit saying "if only" and be glad, instead, for what is.

We are recovering. We do have friends and family who care about us. We do have exactly what we need at this moment.

We each can make a contribution today for the good of someone else and thus for ourselves. And in the act of looking to this day--to giving something to another human being - we will sense the inner perfection we mistakenly long for in our outer selves.

I can look around me today and be thankful. I will tell someone close that I'm glad we share one another's world.

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Food for Thought

A Reason to Be Thin

How many times have we been determined to lose weight for a specific occasion or event? A trip, a wedding, a new job, a holiday - there are many such occasions which may have provided inspiration for short term reducing. The problem with losing weight for a specific event is that when it is over there is nothing left to provide an incentive for maintaining the weight loss.

Many of us have spent years losing and gaining the same pounds over and over again. Since the reasons for losing were superficial, the loss was temporary.

What we need is a permanent reason to be rid of fat. When we abstain from compulsive eating and work the OA program, we not only lose weight but we also live better. We have more enthusiasm, satisfaction, and peace of mind, as well as better looks and health. Our reason to be thin is that it gives us a richer, fuller life not just for one occasion but every day. The benefits are worth the price.

May I want to be thin for the right reasons.

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The Language of Letting Go

Getting Needs Met
I want to change careers . . . I need a friend . . .I'm ready to be in a relationship . . .

Regularly, we become aware of new needs. We may need to change our behavior with our children. We may need a new couch, love and nurturing, a dollar, or help.

Do not be afraid to recognize a want or need. The birth of a want or need, the temporary frustration from acknowledging a need before it's met, is the start of the cycle of receiving what we want. We follow this by letting go, then receiving that which we want and need. Identifying our needs is preparation for good things to come.

Acknowledging our needs means we are being prepared and drawn to that which will meet them. We can have faith to stand in that place in between.

Today, I will let go of my belief that my needs never get met. I will acknowledge my wants and needs, and then turn them over to my Higher Power. My Higher Power cares, sometimes about the silliest little things, if I do. My wants and needs are not an accident. God created me and all my desires.

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

"The secret, kid," said the seal, bending toward him and speaking behind his flipper, "is to have a good compass and a following wind."
--Will Watkins – Sid Seal, Houseman

The secret, for us, is to never let our recovery become "dead in the water." We keep a good compass by working the Steps. Working the Steps tells us what we need to be doing and where we need to go in our recovery. Our sponsor helps us with this and helps us stay on course.

We also need the energy behind us to keep us from getting stalled out. We keep this energy – this "tailwind" – by making our program a way of life. The more we put ourselves in its path, the more the recovery wind keeps us moving. We stay in the path of this wind by going to meetings at least once a week and by using recovery tools as a matter of habit every day.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me remember that my spirituality has a lot to do with the way I use my life energy.

Today's Action

Are there days when I'd like to skip my reading, my prayer, my meetings, my conscious contact with my Higher Power? I will talk with my sponsor about a plan to get through this kind of day next time it comes up.

You are reading from the book:

God Grant Me... by Anonymous

Lealonnie

Recovery Meditations: May 20th

AVOIDANCE

” Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.."
Aldous Huxley

Step 1 has a basic principle behind it which is truth. For me that truth is, just as I use tools for recovery, there are tools that my willful mind uses to keep me rooted in my disease. One of the strongest is avoidance.

Recovery can bring up a lot of painful issues and have me recall situations in which I feel uncomfortable. Sometimes I find that these old feelings have a way of creeping into my psyche. Suddenly some old behavior comes rushing back and I find myself using avoidance as a means to protect myself. Other times, I find myself acting very willfully by deliberately putting things off like going to the gym even when I know that it is good for me, I enjoy myself and am always happy for having gone..

My avoidance can take the form of rebellion against a person, chore, or situation.

Recovery has taught me to face situations. Once the situation has been faced, I often feel a sense of immediate relief. I know that the deed is done, my fears whether they be realistic or not, usually fall away, and sometimes I even feel a little silly for having avoided the situation in the first place.

One day at a time...
I will fact the situations that I encounter today with action.

~ Marilyn S.

My Certified Health Coach Website

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Each Day a New Beginning

It only takes one person to change your life - you.
—Ruth Casey

Change is not easy, but it's absolutely unavoidable. Doors will close. Barriers will surface. Frustrations will mount. Nothing stays the same forever, and it's such folly to wish otherwise. Growth accompanies positive change; determining to risk the outcome resulting from a changed behavior or attitude will enhance our self-perceptions. We will have moved forward; in every instance our lives will be influenced by making a change that only each of us can make.

We have all dreaded the changes we knew we had to make. Perhaps even now we fear some impending changes. Where might they take us? It's difficult accepting that the outcome is not ours to control. Only the effort is ours. The solace is that positive changes, which we know are right for us and other people in our lives, are never going to take us astray. In fact, they are necessary for the smooth path just beyond this stumbling block.

When we are troubled by circumstances in our lives, a change is called for, a change that we must initiate. When we reflect on our recent as well as distant past, we will remember that the changes we most dreaded again and again have positively influenced our lives in untold ways.

Change ushers in glad, not bad, tidings.

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Food for Thought

Goals

In the OA program, our ultimate goal is not to be able to follow perfectly some diet or other. It is not even to arrive at a certain number of pounds by a certain date. Our goal is nothing short of becoming a new person, the person God intends us to be. Now that is a goal worthy of a lifetime's work!

We begin with the desire to stop eating compulsively. For a while, that may be goal enough. Sooner or later, we discover that in order to stop eating compulsively we need to rely on a Power greater than ourselves, and in the process of developing a relationship with this Higher Power, our goals change.

As our spiritual awareness increases, new possibilities are opened to us. As we experience God's grace in our daily lives, we become less self-centered and more centered in Him. Little by little, our willfulness is absorbed by His will and we are more sensitive to His direction. Our mood changes from one of despair to one of hope, and we grow in willingness to follow wherever our Higher Power leads.

Lord, direct my goals.

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The Language of Letting Go

Sadness

Ultimately, to grieve our losses means to surrender to our feelings.

So many of us have lost so much, have said so many good byes - have been through so many changes. We may want to hold back the tides of change, not because the change isn't good, but because we have had so much change, so much loss.

Sometimes, when we are in the midst of pain and grief, we become shortsighted, like members of a tribe described in the movie Out of Africa.

"If you put them in prison," one character said, describing this tribe, "they die."

"Why?" asked another character.

"Because they can't grasp the idea that they'll be let out one day. They think it's permanent, so they die."

Many of us have so much grief to get through. Sometimes we begin to believe grief, or pain, is a permanent condition.

The pain will stop. Once felt and released, our feelings will bring us to a better place than where we started. Feeling our feelings, instead of denying or minimizing them, is how we heal from our past and move forward into a better future. Feeling our feelings is how we let go.

It may hurt for a moment, but peace and acceptance are on the other side. So is a new beginning.

God, help me fully embrace and finish my endings, so I may be ready for my new beginnings.

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

He has served who now and then
Has helped along his fellowmen.
--Edgar A. Guest

It's hard to be interested in something that seems too remote. Sure, we're sorry for starving people in faraway places. And the TV news story about whole villages disappearing in an earthquake makes us feel terrible - until the next news story comes on. It doesn't mean we're bad people when we don't respond much to such tragedies. It only means they're not personal - and only the personal is real.

We care most about what we're involved in directly. If we're not personally involved, we're not very enthusiastic either. If we are the ones starting a new [12 Step] meeting, setting up the chairs, making the coffee, the success of that meeting means a lot to us. If our children are on drugs, we're not bored by city council meetings where new drug programs are discussed. It's our stake in something that makes it important.

The world doesn't need any more spectators. To feel more alive, we must be more alive. Caring is life and involvement is growth.

Today, I will not sit on the sidelines. I will act on behalf of a good cause that deserves my support.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

Lealonnie

Recovery Meditations: May 19th

~ DENIAL ~

The ability to delude yourself
may be an important survival tool.

Jane Wagner

I had many delusions when I entered the Twelve Step program. One by one they have shattered, but only when I was able to handle the truth.

Still, I have looked back at the things I was in denial about during my sickness, and I blamed myself for not seeing the truth sooner, for not seeking recovery sooner. On the good days, which are becoming more and more common for me, I see that my denial was indeed a survival tool.

I spent 33 years with eating disorders without ever consciously knowing about them. Subconsciously, I was very interested in books and movies about anorexia and bulimia, and was fascinated to learn about compulsive overeating. I can only believe I was unknowingly preparing myself for the day when I would be able to face my addiction and still survive.

One day at a time...
I will remind myself that many things are in our lives for a reason,
even denial.

~ Rhonda H. ~

My Certified Health Coach Website

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Each Day a New Beginning

. . . if we are suffering illness, poverty, or misfortune, we think we shall be satisfied on the day it ceases. But there too, we know it is false, so soon as one has got used to not suffering, one wants something else.
—Simone Weil

Perhaps it's the human condition never to be satisfied and yet always to think, "If only . . ." However, the more we look within for wholeness, the greater will be our acceptance of all things, at all times.

So frequently we hear that happiness is within. But what does that mean when we may have just lost the job that supported us and our children? Or when the car won't start and funds are low? Or when we are feeling really scared and don't know whom to talk to or where to go? "Happiness is within" is such a grand platitude at those times.

Nevertheless, our security in any situation is within, if we but know how to tap it. It is within because that is where the strength we are blessed with resides, the strength given us from the power greater than ourselves. "Going within" takes, first, a decision. Next, it takes stillness, and then, patience. But peace will come.

We will quit wanting when we have learned how to turn to our inner strength. We will find serenity rather than suffering.

I will go within whenever I feel the rumblings of dissatisfaction today. I will look there for my joy and sense of well-being and know that divine order is in charge.

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Food for Thought

Resentments
When we hang on to resentments, we poison ourselves. As compulsive overeaters, we cannot afford resentment, since it exacerbates our disease. If we do not get rid of our anger and bitterness, we will suffer more than anyone. Seeking revenge will harm ourselves in the long run.

Many of us have carried around old grudges, which caused us to reach for food when we thought about them. We don't need the food and we don't need the grudges, either. When we give away the resentments, we are that much lighter in body and in spirit. Now that we have found OA, we have a way to get rid of the animosity and indignation, which has been poisoning our system.

Taking inventory and making amends is an essential part of burying resentments. We need to first be consciously aware of them before we can give them away. These steps usually need to be taken again and again as negative material threatens our physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being.

Take away my resentments, Lord.

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The Language of Letting Go

Solving Problems

"Shame is the first feeling that strikes me whenever I, or someone I love, has a problem," said one recovering woman.

Many of us were raised with the belief that having a problem is something to be ashamed of.

This belief can do many damaging things to us. It can stop us from identifying our problems; it can make us feel alienated and inferior when we have, or someone we love has, a problem. Shame can block us from solving a problem and finding the gift from the problem.

Problems are a part of life. So are solutions. People have problems, but we, and our self-esteem, are separate from our problems.

I've yet to meet a person who didn't have problems to solve, but I've met many who felt shamed to talk about the problems they actually had solved!

We are more than our problems. Even if our problem is our own behavior, the problem is not who we are - it's what we did.

It's okay to have problems. It's okay to talk about problems at appropriate times, and with safe people. It's okay to solve problems.

And we're okay, even when we have, or someone we love has, a problem. We don't have to forfeit our personal power or our self-esteem. We have solved exactly the problems we've needed to solve to become who we are.

Today, I will let go of my shame about problems.

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

"You silly thing," said Fritz, my eldest son, sharply, "don't you know that we must not settle what God is to do for us? We must have patience and wait His time."
--Johann R. Wyss

The story of the shipwrecked Robinson family is a lesson in patience. It was years before their rescue. They didn't know what their fate would be on the unfamiliar island. Yet they survived every day by working together and keeping strong faith in a Power greater than themselves.

We are certainly far from the adversities faced by that family. But at times we may feel our lives would be better if our Higher Power would do what we wanted. How many times have we prayed as hard as we could for something we felt we needed?

Today might have been one of those days where we felt our prayers weren't answered. But we need to remember our prayers are heard. Now it is up to us to Let Go and Let God.

Have I tried to be in control of my Higher Power today? How can I Let Go and Let God?

You are reading from the book:

Night Light by Amy E. Dean

Lealonnie

Recovery Meditations: May 18th

STEP ELEVEN

"Be like the bird that, passing on her flight
awhile on boughs too slight,
feels them give way beneath her,
and yet sings, knowing that she hath wings. "
Victor Hugo

Step eleven tells us to seek “through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understand Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.” For me, that is a daily, some times, minute by minute task. As a food addict and compulsive overeater I face temptation daily and need to be in fit spiritual condition to resist. I do this by making a daily conscious contact with the God of my understanding. Then I am connected when I need the fox hole prayers like, “Help me!” or “I’m in trouble!”

Step eleven for me is a spiritual discipline to be practiced daily. I do not do that perfectly, but I aspire to connect daily with my God. As I connect I pray for His will for my life and the power to carry that out. It is easy to get selfish with my prayers and step eleven helps me with this. There are certain things that I know are His will, such as attending meetings, talking to my sponsor, using the tools and staying connected to my God. If I am unsure, I pray for God’s will and leave the rest to Him.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will maintain a fit spiritual condition by connecting with the God of my understanding.

~ Carolyn

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Each Day a New Beginning

. . . in order to feel anything you need strength . . .
—Anna Maria Ortese

Strength for any task, to withstand any pressure, to find the solution to any problem, is always as close as our very breath. We expend all our energy, wearing ourselves down, even getting sick from worry when we fail to turn to the source of strength that is ours for the taking.

We are offered, moment-by-moment, opportunities to experience the rapture of life. We have the chance, with recovery, to trust our senses, to turn ourselves over to the moment, knowing we can survive every experience, knowing we are guaranteed new knowledge, a greater awareness of the meaning of our own lives when we're fully attuned to the experiences that are uniquely our own, right here, right now.

Our strength increases as we flex it, not unlike muscles. The more we turn to that greater power, the more available that source of strength becomes. With practice, it becomes habitual to let God help us withstand all pressures, solve every problem. In time, the pressures and problems seem to exist no more. We learn to let our higher power circumvent the difficulties in our lives. Free at last, we become free at last to feel the real joys of living.

All the strength I need to face anything that's worrying me is at hand. I will let go and let God help me today.

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Food for Thought

Safety

I am safe as long as I do not take the first compulsive bite. Abstinence is my security. If I break my abstinence, I lose my protection against the confusion, remorse, and pain of overeating.

To keep my abstinence strong, I need to use the OA tools of recovery each day. I need to build my program and to give it my best efforts. Remembering that my Higher Power has given me a new life, I will not endanger it by forgetting how much I need His care.

Temptation is always appearing in one form or another. Sometimes it may seem impossible not to give in. My strength lies not in myself but in God, and only by maintaining close contact with Him can I remain safe.

My Higher Power has led me to OA and has given me a safe place to be. When I am tempted or upset, I will use the telephone, go to a meeting, practice Step Eleven, and do whatever else it takes to maintain my abstinence.

Thank You for bringing me to a safe place.

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The Language of Letting Go

Don't stop living your life!

So often, when a problem occurs, inside or around us, we revert to thinking that if we put our life on hold we can positively contribute to the solution. If a relationship isn't working, if we face a difficult decision, if we're feeling depressed, we may put our life on hold and torment ourselves with obsessive thoughts.

Abandoning our life or routines contributes to the problem and delays us from finding the solution.

Frequently, the solution comes when we let go enough to live our life, return to our routine, and stop obsessing about the problem.

Sometimes, even if we don't feel like we have let go or can let go, we can act as if we have, and that will help bring about the letting go we desire.

You don't have to give up your power to problems. You can take your focus off your problem and direct it to your life, trusting that doing so will bring you closer to a solution.

Today, I will go on living my life and tending to my routine. I will decide, as often as I need to, to stop obsessing about whatever is bothering me. If I don't feel like letting go of a particular thing, I will act as if I have let go of it until my feelings match my behavior.

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

. . . we have some unfinished business between us.

When we respond to the small signals that something is amiss, we prevent bigger problems. When we feel fear in our relationship, it signals that we have some unfinished business between us. When we ask the questions we have been avoiding, we create new possibilities for resolution. Our fear is a signal that something does not feel safe. If we tell ourselves that our fear is illogical and discount it, or if we overreact by totally pulling out of the situation, we miss opportunities to change it.

What a relief we feel as we make sense out of our fear and begin to talk with each other. We let go of secrets between us and work toward mutual understanding. As we communicate, the knot in our stomach loosens and light reappears in our relationship.

Name the signals your body gives you to indicate that something in your relationship needs attention.

You are reading from the book:

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

Lealonnie

Recovery Meditations: May 17th

The Human Spirit

The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it.
Unknown

I spent most years of my life feeling like a damaged person, one who was permanently and irreparably defective. I am the survivor of abuse, and had been a practicing compulsive overeater since early childhood. The only way I knew myself was broken, hopeless, and damaged beyond repair. On the days when I could manage to have a goal, my goal was to make the best of it ... and to simply survive the remainder of my days on this earth.

Recovery has transformed my view of myself and my experience of life. In receiving the love, support and guidance of my friends on this journey I began to see a glimmer of hope. With the loving care of my sponsors I began to take the Steps, and I learned to live them out ... one day at a time.

In taking the Steps and living them out, I found my buried spirit, and I found that it was alive and well! In recovery I became reacquainted with the spiritual part of myself that I thought was lost forever. In this connection, I learned to live, laugh, and hope again. My spiritual connection is stronger than anything that can happen to me. This is the truth in my life today, and it transforms me to peace, joy, and love greater than I had ever dreamed.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will practice Step Eleven, and improve my conscious contact with God. I will choose to live in connection with my inner spirit.

~ Cate

My Certified Health Coach Website

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Each Day a New Beginning

Loving allows us to live and through living we grow in loving.
—Evelyn Mandel

Many days it seems too easy to be centered on ourselves, wondering if others love us rather than loving others. On those days, we may have to act "as if" we love the persons who live on our pathways. The unexpected gift is that we do begin to feel both love and loved. Living becomes easier, and so does loving. Acting "as if" is a good way of learning those behaviors that don't feel natural. And in time, acting "as if" is necessary no more.

I can behave in any way I decide to. I can choose to think about others, and love them. I can choose to forget myself, today.

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Food for Thought

Hunger Is a Habit

Have you ever had the experience of being so interested in what you were doing that meal time came and went before you realized that it was time to eat? Because you were not thinking about food, you were not aware of being hungry.

Eating provides a diversion from the tasks of the day. It is something to do when we can't think of anything else to do. Often our "hunger" in anticipation of a meal arises because we look at the clock and see that it is almost time to eat. Instead of being aware of how we are feeling internally, we allow habit and external cues to stimulate our appetite. "It is noon; therefore, I must be hungry."

The more we can concentrate on activities other than eating, the more successful we will be in controlling our disease. We need a program, one which gives meaning to our days and satisfaction to our spirits. Our Higher Power will lift us out of the rut of destructive habits if we sincerely give our lives into His care.

Teach me constructive habits, I pray.

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The Language of Letting Go

Boundaries

Sometimes, life and people seem to push and push. Because we are so used to pain, we may tell ourselves it doesn't hurt. Because we are so used to people controlling and manipulating us, we may tell ourselves there is something wrong with us.

There's nothing wrong with us. Life is pushing and hurting to get our attention. Sometimes, the pain and pushing are pointing toward a lesson. The lesson may be that we've become too controlling. Or maybe we're being pushed to own our power to take care of ourselves. The issue is boundaries.

If something or somebody is pushing us to our limit, that's exactly what's happening: we're being pushed to our limits. We can be grateful for the lesson that's here to help us explore and set our boundaries.

Today, I will give myself permission to set the limits I want and need to set in my life.

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Nice guys finish last.
--Leo Durocher

Some of us are habitually victims, doormats, and "poor things." No matter what, we never say no. The more we practice being nice guys the less able we are to cope creatively. We place the blame, along with the responsibility, elsewhere.

Darlene modeled this for all of us at a recent meeting. She is well past fifty and has been divorced for twenty years. Yet she is still seeking sympathy for what her husband - and God -did to her. Twenty-five years ago she inherited fifty thousand dollars from her parents' estate. Bit by bit, as she said, her alcoholic husband spent it all. It wasn't that she gave it to him or failed to manage it herself, she explained. What happened was that he "just spent it all up. How could he do that?" The obvious, healthier question never occurred to her: How could she allow a sick person to eat up a small fortune?

The moral of the story is that being "too nice" isn't our problem.

Today, I will search my conscience for evidence of irresponsibility that I may have been filing under other names.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Heal

Lealonnie

Recovery Meditations: May 16th

LOOKING AT THE STARS

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."
Oscar Wilde

Before I made the Twelve Steps part of my life, I considered myself to have been in the gutter. My weight had doubled, I was in a major depression, and I was going through the motions of life. Those looking at me from afar saw only a perfect marriage, a perfect career, a perfect home, and perfect children. Although I was blessed, the disease I suffered from day in and day out made it quite obvious to anyone who truly knew me that I was not "looking at the stars." It took my first sponsor to start the healing process for me.

As I began to work Steps One, Two and Three, I felt "different." Nothing had changed . . . everything had changed. It's hard to describe because outwardly I looked the same ... but my entire being opened up. Weight began to come off because I was able to focus on a plan of eating. I found my feelings returned ... the ability to love and accept love came back. My spirituality blossomed once again. I truly felt alive.

One day at a time...
I want to remember each time I find myself in the gutter and giving up hope ... to look at the stars ... and remember that my program works if I will just work it.

~ Mari

My Certified Health Coach Website

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Each Day a New Beginning

It is only the women whose eyes have been washed clear with tears who get the broad vision that makes them little sisters to all the world.
—Dorothy Dix
The storms of our lives benefit us like the storms that hit our towns and homes and wash clean the air we breathe. Our storms bring to the surface the issues that plague us. Perhaps we still fear a job with responsibilities. Perhaps we still struggle with the significant other persons in our lives. Possessiveness is a particular storm that often haunts our progress. Storms force us to acknowledge these liabilities that continue to stand in our way, and acknowledgment is the step necessary to letting go.

Recovery is a whole series of storms, storms that help to sprout new growth; storms that flush clean our own clogged drains. The peace that comes after a storm is worth singing about.

Each storm can be likened to a rung on the ladder to wholeness, the ladder to full membership in the healthy human race. The storms make climbing tough, but we get strength with each step. The next storm will be more easily weathered.

If today is a stormy day, let me remember it will freshen the air I breathe.

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Food for Thought

Rebellion

Compulsive overeating may often be a form of rebellion. In the past, the more we tried to diet, the more we rebelled against the diet, and the more we overate. We were rebelling not only against a diet but also against other people, ourselves, and our Higher Power.

We should never consider abstinence as defined by OA to be just another diet. To do so would be to invite further rebellion. We compulsive overeaters seem especially prone to fight constraints of any kind. Rather than constraining us, abstinence is our liberation. We no longer have a diet to rebel against.

When we accept abstinence, we decide to have three measured meals a day with nothing in between, and we decide to avoid our personal binge foods. What those meals will consist of is our choice, and we make the choice daily. All we have to do is plan what we will have, measure it, enjoy it, and then get from one meal to the next without taking the first compulsive bite. Simple. There is no diet to rebel against.

I pray that I will no longer need to rebel.

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The Language of Letting Go

Self Love

"I woke up this morning and I had a hard time for a while," said one recovering man. "Then I realized it was because I wasn't liking myself very much." Recovering people often say: I just don't like myself. When will I start liking myself?

The answer is: start now. We can learn to be gentle, loving, and nurturing with ourselves. Of all the recovery behaviors we're striving to attain, loving ourselves may be the most difficult, and the most important. If we are habitually harsh and critical toward ourselves, learning to be gentle with ourselves may require dedicated effort.

But what a valuable venture!

By not liking ourselves, we may be perpetuating the discounting, neglect, or abuse we received in childhood from the important people in our life. We didn't like what happened then, but find ourselves copying those who mistreated us by treating ourselves poorly.

We can stop the pattern. We can begin giving ourselves the loving, respectful treatment we deserve.

Instead of criticizing ourselves, we can tell ourselves we performed well enough.

We can wake up in the morning and tell ourselves we deserve a good day.

We can make a commitment to take good care of ourselves throughout the day.

We can recognize that were deserving of love. We can do loving things for ourselves.

We can love other people and let them love us.

People, who truly love themselves do not become destructively self-centered. They do not abuse others. They do not stop growing and changing. People who love themselves well, learn to love others well too. They continually grow into healthier people, learning that their love was appropriately placed.

Today, I will love myself. If I get caught in the old pattern of not liking myself, I will find a way to get out.

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

The Fox without a Tail

One day a fox became caught in a trap. In his struggle to free himself, he left his tail behind. On his way home, he devised a way to head off being made the butt of jokes. He trotted back into the forest and called together all the foxes.

"Foxes are much more attractive when they do not have a tail," he said as he wiggled his stump. "Observe how sleek my appearance is. No longer will I have to pull burrs out of my tail. I am free – and you can all be free, too! It is time for all foxes to cut off their tails."

"Nonsense!" an elder fox yelled out. "If you had not lost your own tail, my friend, you would not be urging us to lose ours as well. You must deal with your loss on your own."

The Moral of the story: Do not trust all of the advice given by others.

Many in the program offer helpful support based on their experience. There are also those who give advice. Sometimes this advice is well-meaning and useful; other times it may seem suspect. Listen to the support, guidance, and advice you are given. But never let such information have a negative impact on your recovery.

I will listen to the advice I am given, but will make decisions that are right for me.

You are reading from the book:

Morning Light by Amy E. Dean

Lealonnie

Recovery Meditations: May 15th

KIND WORDS

“Kind words can be short and easy to speak,
but their echoes are truly endless.”
Mother Teresa

How many times are we gifted with newcomers to our meetings? They are so easy to see as they huddle in the back of the room -- usually as close to the exit as possible. Their oversized coat is a good giveaway, especially in July. Their eyes show the fear and anxiety that we all felt. Sure, we made it, and so can they.

I remember the elder who first said those magical words to me -- those two simple words -- "Welcome Home." The warmth and safety those words held were immense. I felt that my body was huge, and I was embarrassed in a room full of people who looked very similar to me…but my eyes could not see that. They were filled with tears because of those two words. Welcome home. Whoever that person was, I have two words for you, "Thank you.”

What can you do to make a newcomer feel welcome to your meeting? Let us not forget that all-important first hug. I remember mine; do you remember yours? It felt good, I'll bet. So welcome the newcomer and let them know they are home.

One day at a time...
I will do my part to welcome the newcomer into our fellowship.

~ Danny

My Certified Health Coach Website

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Each Day a New Beginning

Difficulties, opposition, criticism - these things are meant to be overcome, and there is a special joy in facing them and in coming out on top. It is only when there is nothing but praise that life loses its charm, and I begin to wonder what I should do about it.
—Vijaya Lakshmi Pandit

To be alive means to experience difficulties, conflicts, challenges from many directions. What we do with adverse conditions both determines and is determined by who we are. Resistance, most of us have learned, heightens the adversity. Acceptance of the condition, trusting all the while the lesson it offers us is for our benefit, ensures that we'll "come out on top."

Difficulties are opportunities for advancement, for increased self-awareness, for self-fulfillment. So often we hear and remind one another, that we grow through pain. We can face any situation knowing we have the strength of the program to shore us up. Strangely, we need challenges in order to grow; without growth we wither. Happiness is the bounty for facing the momentarily unhappy conditions.

Any difficulty I meet today offers me a chance for even greater happiness; it guarantees my growth.

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Food for Thought

Just For Today

I do not have to plan the rest of my life this morning. All I have is today. I do not need to worry about what I will have for dinner tomorrow night. All I need to be concerned about today is today's food plan.

By accepting the fact that I cannot eat spontaneously - whatever and whenever I feel like it - I have freed myself to live more spontaneously. I make plans for the things that need to be done, but I find time left over to use as the Spirit moves. I will not decide today what I will do with the free time tomorrow. Tomorrow will bring new possibilities and promptings.

Just for today, I am living my program. I will not worry about how hard it will be to work it tomorrow. Tomorrow I will have new strength and fresh insight. Just for today, I will remember to stop and listen to the inner voice and follow where it leads. When I follow it, there is adventure in the day and joy in my heart.

Thank You for today.

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The Language of Letting Go

Taking Risks

Take a risk. Take a chance.

We do not have to indulge in obviously foolhardy or self-defeating risks, but we can allow ourselves to take positive risks in recovery. We cannot afford to keep ourselves paralyzed.

We do not have to keep ourselves stymied and trapped out of fear of making a mistake or failing. Naturally, we will make mistakes and fail from time to time. That's part of being fully alive. There are no guarantees. If we are waiting for guaranteed courses of action, we may spend much of our life waiting.

We do not have to shame ourselves or accept shame from anyone else, even those in recovery, for making mistakes. The goal of recovery is not to live life perfectly. The goal of recovery is to live, learn our lessons, and make overall progress.

Take a risk. Do not always wait for a guarantee. We don't have to listen to "I told you so." Dust yourself off after a mistake, and then move on to the success.

God, help me begin to take healthy risks. Help me let go of my fear of failure, and help me let go of my fear of success. Help me let go of my fear of fully living my life, and help me start experiencing all parts of this journey.

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

The crisis of our time . . . is a crisis not of the hands but of the hearts.
--Archibald MacLeish

We singlemindedly search for love, for belonging, for affirmation from others that will wipe out the torment of alienation that haunts our wakefulness and our dreams. "Does he truly care?" we wonder. "Did she try to call as she said?" Our fears, coupled with our loneliness, turn us inward and the seduction of isolation tightens its hold.

Our hearts plead, sometimes silently, other times hysterically, for comfort. And paradoxically, another's crisis can end our own. If we can hear the call from another's heart today, our own hearts will discover the comfort we crave.

If we look closely and with love toward the people so carefully placed in our midst, we'll discover many hearts, like our own, searching for acceptance.

Let's relieve our haunting alienation and extend a hand in love to a lonely friend today.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

Lealonnie

Recovery Meditations: May 14th

PERFECTIONISM

"Shooting stars come out of the darkness."
Unknown Author

Today I am wading through guilt and shame as I try to step into the Light. My ankles are mired in unfulfilled visions and lost dreams. Childhood voices scream at me of my Potential. What are you doing? You're smart, talented, and beautiful. What are you doing with your life? You have the capacity for a great job, why do you loll in mediocrity? You're close to thinness, why can't you eat less? You could be beautiful, why don't you take more time with your hair, makeup, have manicures or plastic surgery? Why do you hover around "good enough"?

I remember when I had all these things, I wanted different things. The voices remind me I am not perfect, only a perfectionist. My goals remind me of what I lack. My tears remind me I am not what I preach. My Higher Power reminds me I am still on the easel, and grateful for my journey. My darkness reminds me I live in the Light.

One day at a time...
I seek the light of recovery that is seeking me.

~ Dodee

My Certified Health Coach Website

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Each Day a New Beginning

Miracles are instantaneous, they cannot be summoned, but come of themselves, usually at unlikely moments and to those who least expect them.
—Katherine Anne Porter

Each of us has miraculously been summoned to the road to recovery. We no doubt felt hopeless many times. We no doubt pleaded, aimlessly and to no one in particular, for help. And then it came. Many of us probably do not know just how. But we can look around at one another and appreciate the miracle in our lives.

We still have days when the going is rough. Days when we feel twelve years old, unable to handle the responsibility of our lives, in need of a mother to nurture us and assure us that the pain will pass. We can look to a sponsor on those days. We can look for someone else to help. We can also reflect on how far we've come. Gratitude, in the midst of distress, for all the gifts of recovery eases the pain, the fear, and the stress of the moment.

The miracles continue in my life. Every day offers me a miracle. Thankfulness today will help me see the miracles at work in my life and in the lives of other women on the road to recovery.

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Food for Thought

Abstinence Plus

Most of us find it impossible to maintain our abstinence and our weight loss if we do not continue to grow spiritually and emotionally. The Steps are not something we take once and for all and then put aside. We continue to work on ourselves.

It is possible to reach and maintain a weight goal, but the emotional and spiritual goals of the program are never fully attained. We keep striving for progress, in spite of temporary setbacks.

All of us need something to live for, something that captures our imagination and beckons us on to greater efforts. Achievement in the areas of study and work, commitments to family and community, development of talents and interests--all serve as motivation. Usually, though, we require something more to keep us going. When we become aware of the Spirit, which is constantly available to us through contact with our Higher Power, we are tuned in to the source of our abstinence and of our life.

May I remember to live by the Spirit.

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The Language of Letting Go

Honesty

Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
—Step Five of Al-Anon

Talking openly and honestly to another person about ourselves, in an attitude that reflects self-responsibility, is critical to recovery.

It's important to admit what we have done wrong to others and to ourselves. Verbalize our beliefs and our behaviors. Get our resentments and fears out in the open.

That's how we release our pain. That's how we release old beliefs and feelings. That's how we are set free. The more clear and specific we can be with our Higher Power, ourselves, and another person, the more quickly we will experience that freedom.

Step Five is an important part of the recovery process. For those of us who have learned to keep secrets from others, and ourselves it is not just a step - it is a leap toward becoming healthy.

Today I will remember that it's okay to talk about the issues that bother me. It is by sharing my issues that I will grow beyond them. I will also remember that it's okay to be selective about those in whom I confide. I can trust my instincts and choose someone who will not use my disclosures against me, and who will give me healthy feedback.

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Is he related to something infinite or not? That is the telling question of life.
--Carl Jung

The times that life works best are when we get out of the way and let the power work through us. The writer says of an inspired short story, "I didn't write this story; it seemed to write itself." After a record-breaking performance an athlete recalls, "I just had an 'on' day. My shots kept falling in."

Each of us has had moments when we felt as if we were riding the crest of a wave or were being pushed from behind by a gentle wind. The more you can surrender to the universal energy and go with its flow, the easier life becomes.

Compare this experience to that of trying to control and manipulate life through the limited ego. Everything becomes a strain and an effort, a constant struggle. We tire easily. By the time we cross the finish line, we wonder if the race was worth running.

A better way is stated by the paradox, "You give it all up to have it all." Whatever your current situation, step back and let the power work through you. You'll be amazed at the miracles that occur. When your will and the Higher will are aligned, all things become possible.

You are reading from the book:

Listening to Your Inner Voice by Douglas Bloch

Lealonnie

Recovery Meditations: May 13th

SERENITY

“The final wisdom of life requires not the annulment of incongruity
but the achievement of serenity with and above it.”
Reinhold Niebuhr

When I started coming to Recovery Group meetings, I heard the word "serenity" used frequently. I waited for someone to turn the serenity light switch on for me. I thought if I kept coming, the guy in charge of lights would turn mine on, and then I would possess and understand serenity! But the people in the meetings kept telling me, "You need to work the steps." I began to work them with a vengeance, the way a compulsive person -- such as I am -- tends to function.

With each passing day I have begun to feel more comfortable living in my own skin. My fears, worries about the future, and anxieties have all decreased. I have made a more personal connection with my Higher Power. I have begun to develop friendships with other people in Recovery Group. The loving friendships here have had a huge impact on how I feel about myself. They have caused me to experience more self-love and self-acceptance. I have come to the point where I now know that no matter what happens, things will eventually work out for the best for me.

One day at a time...
I will continue to attend meetings to experience serenity.

~ Karen A.

My Certified Health Coach Website

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Each Day a New Beginning

Your sense of what will bring happiness is so crude and blundering. Try something else as a compass. Maybe the moralists are right and happiness doesn't come from seeking pleasure and ease.
—Joanna Field

We think we know what will make us happy. Seldom do we readily accept that painful moments are often the price tags for peaceful, happy times. Nor do we appreciate that happiness lives within each of us; never is it intrinsic to the events we experience. Because we look for happiness "out there" and expect it gift-wrapped in a particular way, we miss the joy of being fully alive each passing moment. How distorted our sense of happiness was before finding our way to this program! How futile our search!

The way still isn't easy every Step we take, but we will find happiness in those fleeting moments when we can get outside of ourselves long enough to be fully attentive to the people in our lives. We'll find it because it's been there all the time. It flows between us when we open our hearts to give and to receive compassion. Being truly there for another person is the key, which unlocks the gate holding happiness back.

I will let someone in today and feel the rush of happiness.

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Food for Thought

No Doormats Here

When we work the Twelve Steps, we grow in self-respect. Abstaining from compulsive overeating gives us new self-confidence. We no longer need to feel either inferior or superior, but we can take our proper place as an equal to those around us.

Many of us used to let ourselves be manipulated because of a lack of self-respect. We may also have tried to manipulate others. Once we have taken an inventory and gotten rid of past guilt's and defects, we embark on a new way of living. Just as we do not try to control the behavior of those we live with, we also do not permit them to control ours.

We are responsible to our Higher Power and responsible for our own actions. We look for opportunities to serve and to give freely of what we have been given. We respect the new life that God has chosen to give us, and we intend to use it as He directs. Saying no to requests and demands, which interfere with and jeopardize our program is sometimes necessary for our recovery.

Thank You, Lord, for self-respect.

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The Language of Letting Go

Property Lines

A helpful tool in our recovery, especially in the behavior we call detachment, is learning to identify who owns what. Then we let each person own and possess his or her rightful property.

If another person has an addiction, a problem, a feeling, or a self-defeating behavior, that is their property, not ours. If someone is a martyr, immersed in negativity, controlling, or manipulative behavior, that is their issue, not ours.

If someone has acted and experienced a particular consequence, both the behavior and the consequence belong to that person.

If someone is in denial or cannot think clearly on a particular issue, that confusion belongs to him or her.

If someone has a limited or impaired ability to love or care, that is his or her property, not ours. If someone has no approval or nurturing to give away, that is that person's property.

People's lies, deceptions, tricks, manipulations, abusive behaviors, inappropriate behaviors, cheating behaviors, and tacky behaviors belong to them, too. Not us.

People's hope and dreams are their property. Their guilt belongs to them too. Their happiness or misery is also theirs. So are their beliefs and messages.

If some people don't like themselves, that is their choice. Other people's choices are their property, not ours.

What people choose to say and do is their business.

What is our property? Our property includes our behaviors, problems, feelings, happiness, misery, choices, and messages; our ability to love, care, and nurture; our thoughts, our denial, our hopes and dreams for ourselves. Whether we allow ourselves to be controlled, manipulated, deceived, or mistreated is our business.

In recovery, we learn an appropriate sense of ownership. If something isn't ours, we don't take it. If we take it, we learn to give it back. Let other people have their property, and learn to own and take good care of what's ours.

Today, I will work at developing a clear sense of what belongs to me, and what doesn't. If it's not mine, I won't keep it. I will deal with my issues, my responsibilities, and myself. I will take my hands off what is not mine.

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Having boundaries doesn't complicate life; boundaries simplify life.
--Beyond Codependency

There is a positive aspect to boundary setting. We learn to listen to ourselves and identify what hurt us and what we don't like. But we also learn to identify what feels good.

When we are willing to take some risks and begin actively doing so, we will enhance the quality of our life.

What do we like? What feels good? What brings us pleasure? Whose company do we enjoy? What helps us to feel good in the morning? What's a real treat in our life? What are the small, daily activities that make us feel nurtured and cared for?

We have deprived ourselves too long. There is no need to do that anymore, no need. If it feels good, and the consequences are self-loving and not self-defeating, do it!

Today, I will do for myself those little things that make life more pleasurable. I will not deny myself healthy treats.

You are reading from the book:

The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

Lealonnie

Recovery Meditations: May 12th

WORRY

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today.
It's already tomorrow in Australia.
Charles Schultz

Worry...that's a topic I'm really good at! Since working the Twelve Steps, however, I am beginning to see some things about worry that, hopefully, will soon make it a thing of the past in my life. After all, why should I worry? What has worry ever done for me, except mess up my life?

I am seeing that when I am worrying about something, I have not turned it over to my Higher Power, and I am continuing to act from my own self-will. Or, I did turn it over to my Higher Power, but didn't really trust Him to take care of it, and so I took it back!

I had a breakthrough, just a couple of days ago, concerning worry. I was concerned about a decision my husband and I had to make and it was so far beyond my ability to see into the future that I gave up and prayed for help. Somehow I let go and let God. Suddenly a beautiful stillness and peace came over me. I felt calmer than I had in years ... very calm and still and at peace. I felt completely reassured that God was handling my "decision" and that God was completely competent to do so.

One Day at a Time . . .
I abandon worry. I let go and let God, and enjoy the serenity and peace of trust in God.

~ Lynne T.

My Certified Health Coach Website

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Each Day a New Beginning

Every human being has, like Socrates, an attendant spirit; and wise are they who obey its signals. If it does not always tell us what to do, it always cautions us what not to do.
—Lydia M. Child

Our Spirit is our inner guide. And our Spirit never, never, gives us wrong directions. Because we're human, it's all too easy to deny the voice from within. Some call it conscience. And our behavior, maybe frequently, maybe occasionally, belies what our conscience knows is right. We suffer for it.

We are trying to be healthy, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Each day we can make progress. With each action we take, we have a choice. Our Spirit, our conscience, should be consulted. Right choices make for right actions that will emotionally and spiritually benefit us and the other persons close to us.

It's comforting to rely on the inner voice. It assures us we're never alone. No decision has to be made alone. No wrong action need ever be taken. A sense of security accompanies the partnership between each of us and our Spirit.

I will let the partnership work for me today.

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Food for Thought

People Pleasing
If we are too intent on pleasing others, we may lose ourselves. All of us want and need approval from other people, but sometimes we work too hard for external admiration and not hard enough for our own self-regard. If we spend all of our time and energy trying to please others, we never find out who we are and what pleases us.

When we were overeating and felt guilty about that, we may have thought that we needed to do what others wanted us to do in order to somehow make up for overeating. If we didn't look attractive, we could at least be pleasing in other ways!

People pleasing, however, is not confined to those who are overweight. Many people try to find their self-worth and reason for existence in the impression they think they are making on the outside world. It is an easy trap for all of us to fall into.

When we find our center in the life of the Spirit, we become less concerned about pleasing others. As we grow emotionally and spiritually, we begin to discover our giant Self. Through this program, we can find out who we are and what is pleasing to the best that is in us.

May I first seek to please You.

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The Language of Letting Go

Intimacy

We can let ourselves be close to people.

Many of us have deeply ingrained patterns for sabotaging relationships. Some of us may instinctively terminate a relationship once it moves to a certain level of closeness and intimacy.

When we start to feel close to someone, we may zero in on one of the person's character defects, and then make it so big it's all we can see. We may withdraw, or push the person away to create distance. We may start criticizing the other person, a behavior sure to create distance.

We may start trying to control the person, a behavior that prevents intimacy.

We may tell ourselves we don't want or need another person, or smother the person with our needs.

Sometimes, we defeat ourselves by trying to be close to people who aren't available for intimacy - people with active addictions, or people who don't choose to be close to us. Sometimes, we choose people with particular faults so that when it comes time to be close, we have an escape hatch.

We're afraid, and we fear losing ourselves. We're afraid that closeness means we won't be able to own our power to take care of ourselves.

In recovery, we're learning that it's okay to let ourselves be close to people. We're choosing to relate to safe, healthy people, so closeness is a possibility. Closeness doesn't mean we have to lose ourselves, or our life. As one man said, "We're learning that we can own our power with people, even when we're close, even when the other person has something we need."

Today, I will be available for closeness and intimacy with people, when that's appropriate. Whenever possible, I will let myself be who I am, let others be who they are, and enjoy the bond and good feelings between us.

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Every human being is a problem in search of a solution.
--Ashley Montagu

Each of us is a strong and fragile creature. We're always subject to forces outside our control, and we're learning steps for living that help us cope and rise above these problems. Our particular situation might seem special to us but in another sense, everyone's situation is a unique problem. Spiritual growth is the result of coming face to face with our own situation, feeling the brunt of our own puzzlement, recognizing no recipe will apply completely, and then trusting our Higher Power as we make unsure responses.

No school or parent can ever teach us enough to smooth our search for solutions. We become complete human beings by living through the muddle, by truly trusting our connections with God and other people to carry us along until we find clarity again. We progress into adulthood when we meet our own particular life crises. We learn to see we have this process in common with every human being. Rather than resist our problems, we band together with others and pool our strength to find solutions.

My problems today are opportunities for spiritual growth.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Monday, May 19, 2014

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Friday, May 16, 2014

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Monday, May 12, 2014