A Weight Loss Journey

Lealonnie

Recovery Meditations: April 10th

~ Aging ~

Those who love deeply never grow old;
they may die of old age, but they die young.

Benjamin Franklin

I used to be afraid of getting older. I was also afraid to become friends with older people, because I would come to love them and then they would die. I could not handle unpleasant feelings (other than if I overate to stop feeling them) because the feeling of unpleasantness would totally devastate me.

In working the Twelve Step program, my Higher Power has brought me great recovery in this area ... I am now able to handle the grief and sorrow that come up when I allow myself to get to know and love older people and then they die. I am now free in this area! I get to enjoy the wisdom and beauty that they have to share, from all their life experiences, and from the beautiful people they are!

Another beautiful gift from my Higher Power came when I started relating to older people again. When the first one died, it really threw me, and I was very sad. But I got up the next day and had a great spiritual awakening: this person was missing and that was sad, but I looked around and saw all the other wonderful people still there in my life, with whom I got to share another day! Life suddenly became much more precious to me ... to have one more day to be with and share with someone who touches my soul!

One Day at a Time . . .
I enjoy myself as I become older. I allow myself to enjoy friendships with those who are older than me. I thank my Higher Power for every day and every moment of precious life!

~ Lynne ~

My Certified Health Coach Website

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Each Day a New Beginning

Even though I can't solve your problems, I will be there as your sounding board whenever you need me.
—Sandra K. Lamberson

The prize we each have been given is our ability to offer full and interested attention to people seeking our counsel. And seldom does a day pass, that we aren't given the opportunity to listen, to nurture, to offer hope where it's been dashed.

We are not separate, one from another. Interdependence is our blessing; however, we fail to recognize it at our crucial crossroads. Alone we ponder. Around us, others, too, are often suffering in silence. These Steps that guide our lives push us to break the silence. The secrets we keep, keep us from the health we deserve.

Our emotional well-being is enhanced each time we share ourselves - our stories or our attentive ears. We need to be a part of someone else's pain and growth in order to make use of the pain that we have grown beyond. Pain has its purpose in our lives. And in the lives of our friends, too. It's our connection to one another, the bridge that closes the gap.

We dread our pain. We hate the suffering our friends must withstand. But each of us gains when we accept these challenges as our invitations for growth and closeness to others.

Secrets keep us sick. I will listen and share and be well.

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Food for Thought

Increasing Joy

Before we found OA, many of us felt depressed much of the time. The combination of too much food and too little inspiration was lethal. We existed and we did what we had to do, but there was a lack of deep joy in our lives.

When we get the poisons out of our systems, which have been deposited by refined starches and sugars and by overeating in general, we feel one hundred percent better. As we get rid of the poisons in our minds and hearts, our joy increases.

Gradually we are relieved of the guilt of overeating. We are also relieved of envy, anger, and fear - all of the negative emotions, which have poisoned our hearts.

Deep joy can only come from the deepest part of ourselves. That is the place where we find and come to know our Higher Power.

Thank You, God, for increasing joy.

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The Language of Letting Go

Using Others to Stop Our Pain

Our happiness is not a present someone else holds in his or her hands. Our well-being is not held by another to be given or withheld at whim. If we reach out and try to force someone to give us what we believe he or she holds, we will be disappointed. We will discover that it is an illusion. The person didn't hold it. He or she never shall. That beautifully wrapped box with the ribbon on it that we believed contained our happiness that someone was holding - it's an illusion!

In those moments when we are trying to reach out and force someone to stop our pain and create our joy, if we can find the courage to stop flailing about and instead stand still and deal with our issues, we will find our happiness.

Yes, it is true that if someone steps on our foot, he or she is hurting us and therefore holds the power to stop our pain by removing his or her foot. But the pain is still ours. And so is the responsibility to tell someone to stop stepping on our feet.

Healing will come when we're aware of how we attempt to use others to stop our pain and create our happiness. We will heal from the past. We will receive insights that can change the course of our relationships.

We will see that, all along, our happiness and our well-being have been in our hands. We have held that box. The contents are ours for the opening.

God, help me remember that I hold the key to my own happiness. Give me the courage to stand still and deal with my own feelings. Give me the insights I need to improve my relationships. Help me stop doing the codependent dance and start doing the dance of recovery.

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Celebrate your life and hear your spirit sing.
-- Elisabeth L.

"What's to celebrate?" some people ask. We all get our fill of the cynics. Their negativity can weigh down our spirits. But we don't have to let them control how we see our lives or theirs. To keep our own perceptions positive, it helps to detach from the naysayers. We will improve our chances if we consciously focus on gratitude for even the tiny blessings rather than on whatever might be wrong.

Becoming grateful is the strongest, safest means of feeling good now that we are abstinent. Not only does it readily alter our mood, but it changes our perspective on every detail of our lives. To be thankful rather than "thankless" is a small price to pay for unqualified happiness coupled with serenity.

We've all known people who radiate a singing spirit. They love life, themselves, and others. We seek out their company. We can be like those people for the travelers sharing our journey. Let's do it!

I will practice gratitude today and be a blessing in everyone's life.

You are reading from the book:

A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

Lealonnie

Recovery Meditations: April 9th

~ Feelings ~

Few are those who see with their own eyes
and feel with their own hearts.

Albert Einstein

Before working the Twelve Step program, one reason I used to overeat was that I couldn't manage my feelings. My feelings were overwhelming and incapacitating to me. I would also overreact to feelings and this would make them truly more than I could handle. So I would then overeat to make the feelings stop. I would stuff myself, to stuff them down!

In working the Twelve Step program, I got a chance to work through past hurts and resentments that intensified my feelings. I learned to feel my feelings, just as they are, and how to stop overreacting to them. I learned to sort through messages my family gave me about feelings, that it's not okay to have or feel or express them. I learned to decide what is true for me, today, about feelings. I also worked through my codependency issues and learned how to communicate feelings in an appropriate, effective and loving way.

Now feelings are a part of my life and not something overwhelming and incapacitating. In fact, they have become something beautiful that enrich my life and give it color and texture and even pleasure.

One Day at a Time . . .
I honor the blessing of having my feelings returned to me. I enjoy them, and I respect my feelings and those of others. I thank my Higher Power for this wonderful gift.

~ Lynne ~

My Certified Health Coach Website

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Each Day a New Beginning

For is it not true that human progress is but a mighty growing pattern woven together by the tenuous single threads united in a common effort?
—Soong Mei-ling (Madame Chiang Kai-shek)

We each are spinning our individual threads, lending texture, color, pattern, to the "big design" that is serving us all. Person by person our actions, our thoughts, our values complement those of our sisters, those of the entire human race. We are heading toward the same destination, all of us, and our paths run parallel on occasion, intersect periodically, and veer off in singleness of purpose when inspiration calls us.

It's comforting to be reminded that our lives are purposeful. What we are doing presently, our interactions with other people, our goals, have an impact that is felt by many others. We are interdependent. Our behavior is triggering important thoughts and responses in someone else, consistently and methodically. No one of us is without a contribution to make. Each one of us is giving what we are called upon to give when we are in a right relationship with God, who is the master artist in this design we are creating.

Prayer and meditation will direct my efforts today. My purpose can then be fulfilled.

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Food for Thought

Retreats

OA retreats are a wonderful way to recharge our batteries and gain strength through sharing. Whether for a day or for a weekend, the retreat is an extremely effective tool for growth in our program.

If an organized retreat is not available when we need it, we can arrange our own personal retreat for a day or two. Choosing a day or a weekend when we can concentrate on our program may give us a boost we need when we are having difficulty. If a minimum of time is spent on necessary tasks, there will be many hours free for reading, writing, and meditating. We can plan our abstinent meals ahead of time so that they require as little preparation as possible.

A personal retreat may take place at home or, if there are many distractions and it is possible to leave for a day or two, we may go somewhere away from home where we can be quiet and reflect. Extra time spent in prayer and meditation yields enormous dividends, and we return with increased strength and perspective.

I seek the refreshment that comes from You.

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The Language of Letting Go

Giving

Learning to be a healthy giver can be a challenge. Many of us got caught up in compulsive giving - charitable acts motivated by uncharitable feelings of guilt, shame, obligations, pity, and moral superiority.

We now understand that catering and compulsive giving don't work. They backfire.

Caretaking keeps us feeling victimized.

Many of us gave too much, thinking we were doing things right; then we became confused because our life and relationships weren't working. Many of us gave so much for so long, thinking we were doing God's will; then in recovery, we refused to give, care, or love for a time.

That's okay. Perhaps we needed a rest. But healthy giving is part of healthy living. The goal in recovery is balance - caring that is motivated by a true desire to give, with an underlying attitude of respect for others and ourselves.

The goal in recovery is to choose what we want to give, to whom, when, and how much. The goal in recovery is to give and not feel victimized by our giving.

Are we giving because we want to, because it's our responsibility? Or are we giving because we feel obligated, guilty, ashamed, or superior? Are we giving because we feel afraid to say no?

Are the ways we try to assist people helpful, or do they prevent others from facing their true responsibilities?

Are we giving so that people will like us or feel obligated to us? Are we giving to prove we're worthy? Or are we giving because we want to give and it feels right?

Recovery includes a cycle of giving and receiving. It keeps healthy energy flowing among our Higher Power, others, and us. It takes time to learn how to give in healthy ways. It takes time to learn to receive. Be patient. Balance will come.

God, please guide my giving and my motives today.

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:
Agreement is usually not necessary.

Many of us have lived as if we always had to be right. We did not stop to notice that other things we cared about were being lost such as friends who got tired of our persistent need to be right, or children whose self-esteem was undermined when there was no room for their ideas, or a former mate who drifted away because we could relax only if we were proven right. In our differences there is much more to look at and far more to settle than who is right and who is wrong.

An intimate connection is simply communicating our differences to each other and understanding them. Agreement is usually not necessary. Our partnership gives us an opportunity to view the world intimately through someone else's eyes. Defeating our differences defeats our opportunities to learn. We need just exclaim, Oh that's another way to see it!
Our task is to learn how our partner sees the world. We grow because we gain a second outlook.

You are reading from the book:

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

Lealonnie

Recovery Meditations: April 8th

~ Willingness ~

I cannot change what I am unwilling to face.

James Baldwin

Before I found this program I was locked in a battle with myself. I knew I was eating too much, and I couldn't help myself. I tried to control my eating, and for a while, I was able to keep the upper hand. Then something would happen in my life, and I'd lose that control.

I couldn't face the fact that I was a compulsive eater. I couldn't bear to think that I had a disease that kept me in bondage to food. So during the time I was in denial about my eating, I continued sinking deeper into my disease of compulsion. I sought comfort in food, and did some serious damage to my body, to my self-esteem, and to my relationships.

It was only after I hit bottom that I realized that I had to face the facts. I had a disease that had me in a death grip, and there wasn't one thing I could do about it. When I found this program, I found hope. I discovered a Higher Power who could help me do what I'd never been able to do before. I slowly began to see the changes I'd tried all my life to effect on my own. But it didn't happen until I became willing to face the truth, until I became willing to ask God for help.

One Day at a Time . . .
I am willing to face my disease
and let my Higher Power help me overcome it.

~ Jeff ~

My Certified Health Coach Website

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Each Day a New Beginning

Life is patchwork - here and there, scraps of pleasure and despair. Joined together, hit or miss.
—Anne Bronaugh

As you look ahead, to this day, you can count on unexpected experiences. You can count on moments of laughter. And you can count on twinges of fear. Life is seldom what we expect, but we can trust that we will survive the rough times. They will, in fact, soften our edges. Pleasure and pain share equally in the context of our lives.

We so easily forget that our growth comes through the challenges we label "problems." We do have the tools at hand to reap the benefits inherent in the problems that may face us today. Let us move gently forward, take the program with us, and watch the barriers disappear.

There is no situation that a Step won't help us with. Maybe we'll need to "turn over" a dilemma today. Accepting powerlessness over our children, or spouse, or co-worker may free us of a burden today. Or perhaps amends will open the communication we seek with someone in our lives. The program will weave the events of our day together. It will give them meaning.

Today, well lived, will prepare me for both the pleasure and the pain of tomorrow.

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Food for Thought

The Enemy Within

Why do we self-destruct? The problem of evil has been with us ever since the serpent tempted Eve to eat the apple. We often feel at war internally, one self-fighting another self.

There are forces that would have us abandon our program, and usually we find the temptation coming from within. We become careless, bored, lackadaisical in our efforts. Instead of disciplining ourselves to further spiritual growth, we rest on our oars and then wonder why we are drifting downstream!

There is nothing wrong with our bodily appetites, except when we allow them to take control. Then they will destroy us. Sane, healthy living requires that we acknowledge our spiritual needs. When our Higher Power is in control, we work for emotional and spiritual growth as well as physical satisfaction. Instead of being divided internally, we are integrated. The enemy within is subdued in the only way possible - by God's power.

Defeat the enemy within me. Lord.

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The Language of Letting Go

Self Care

I don't precisely know what you need to do to take care of yourself. But I know you can figure it out.
—Beyond Codependency

Rest when you're tired.

Take a drink of cold water when you're thirsty.

Call a friend when you're lonely.

Ask God to help when you feel overwhelmed.

Many of us have learned how to deprive and neglect ourselves. Many of us have learned to push ourselves hard, when the problem is that were already pushed too hard.

Many of us are afraid the work wont get done if we rest when were tired. The work will get done; it will be done better than work that emerges from tiredness of soul and spirit. Nurtured, nourished people, who love themselves and care for themselves, are the delight of the Universe.

They are well timed, efficient, and Divinely led.

Today, I will practice loving self-care.

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are.
--George Bernard Shaw

It's easy to let circumstances determine how we think and behave. While it's true that some events seem devastating, our relationship with a Higher Power can help us accept and even grow from experiences that seem impossible to cope with.

We all have known men and women who've handled grave upsets far more easily than we have. How did they do it? They have no magic. Rather, they may be more comfortable letting their Higher Power help them accept and understand unfortunate circumstances. Once we accept our anger or disappointment, we're free to move on to better feelings. We begin to realize we have choices in how we look at problems.

We are never given more than we can handle. We can develop acceptance of any circumstances, but our success in doing so comes mainly through our reliance on God to show us the way.

God will help me handle the uncontrollable events of today. Through acceptance, I can change my feelings at any moment - even right now.

You are reading from the book:

Lealonnie

Recovery Meditations: April 7th

~ Higher Power ~

If you spend all your time looking for Him,
you might miss Her when She shows up.

Neale Donald Walsch

Our program of recovery teaches us that we each must lean on a Higher Power. This Higher Power is also known as "the God of my understanding." There is nothing in this Twelve Step program of ours that says that my Higher Power must be the same as your Higher Power. For some, the Higher Power in their life is a deity. The program itself, or a weekly meeting, might be the Higher Power for someone else. It doesn't matter what or who each person has for a Higher Power.

Recovery is possible for everyone. Those who believe in one God can come together with those who believe in many Gods, or maybe no God at all. The atheist has just as much chance of recovery as a very religious person. The beauty of this program is that it works for everybody, regardless of their approach to the spiritual aspect. That is why it is imperative that we accept each other's ideas of a Higher Power. What works for one individual might not work for another. But one thing is sure ... the program that works if you work it, regardless of which Higher Power you decide on.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will work my program with my Higher Power, the God of my understanding, and allow others to work their program with the God of their understanding.

~ Jeff ~

My Certified Health Coach Website

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Each Day a New Beginning

It is only when people begin to shake loose from their preconceptions, from the ideas that have dominated them, that we begin to receive a sense of opening, a sense of vision.
—Barbara Ward

A sense of vision, seeing who we can dare to be and what we can dare to accomplish, is possible if we focus intently on the present and always the present. We are all we need to be, right now. We can trust that. And we will be shown the way to become who we need to become, step by step, from one present moment to the next present moment. We can trust that, too.

The past that we hang onto stands in our way. Many of us needlessly spend much of our lives fighting a poor self-image. But we can overcome that. We can choose to believe we are capable and competent. We can be spontaneous, and our vision of all that life can offer will change--will excite us, will cultivate our confidence.

We can respond to life wholly. We can trust our instincts. And we will become all that we dare to become.

Each day is a new beginning. Each moment is a new opportunity to let go of all that has trapped me in the past. I am free. In the present, I am free.

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Food for Thought

Appetite

Appetite grows as it is fed. The more we eat, the more we want to eat. If we let any physical appetite take over - whether it is for food, sex, security, or whatever - we become its slave.

If we do not nurture our relationship with our Higher Power so that God is the ultimate authority for everything that we do and the object of our greatest desire, then we will be enslaved by one or more of our physical appetites. When God is perceived to be the greatest good and the source of all joy and satisfaction, then physical appetites fall into their proper place.

First we seek spiritual growth. Our primary desire is to do God's will for us, as He enables us to do it. When He is our Master, His love feeds our spiritual appetite and we begin to know the inner peace and satisfaction, which the world cannot give.

May my desire be always for You.

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The Language of Letting Go

Those Old Time Feelings

I still have bad days. But that's okay. I used to have bad years.
—Anonymous

Sometimes, the old feelings creep back in. We may feel fearful, ashamed, and hopeless. We may feel not good enough, unlovable, victimized, helpless, and resentful about it all. This is codependency, a condition some describe as soul sickness.

Many of us felt this way when we began recovery. Sometimes, we slip back into these feelings after we've begun recovery. Sometimes there's a reason. An event may trigger these reactions, such as ending a relationship, stress, problems on the job, at home, or in friendships. Times of change can trigger these reactions. So can physical illness.

Sometimes, these feelings return for no reason.

A return to the old feelings doesn't mean were back to square one in our recovery. They do not mean we've failed at recovery. They do not mean were in for a long, painful session of feeling badly. They just are there.

The solution is the same: practicing the basics. Some of the basics are loving and trusting our self, detachment, dealing with feelings, giving and receiving support in the recovery community, using our affirmations, and having fun.

Another basic is working the Steps. Often, working the Steps is how we become enabled and empowered to practice the other basics, such as detachment and self-love.

If the old feelings come back, know for certain there is a way out that will work.

Today, if I find myself in the dark pit of codependency, I will work a Step to help myself climb out.

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

There is no happiness; there are only moments of happiness.
-- Spanish proverb

How happy we are right now may hinge on dinnertime - whether it is just before or just after. It may also depend on whether we are examining ourselves to see if we are happy or not. There's nothing like a little introspection to convince us of the futility of life. Just asking the question, "Am I happy?" is enough to put us into a blue mood.

Moments of happiness, like creative thoughts, pass before us all the time. If we want to enjoy them, it's up to us to reach out and take them when they appear. The opportunities are boundless, and they all come dressed up like other people. No one has ever been happy for long in isolation. We are not, by nature, solitary creatures. God gave us people to be with. And as an incentive to be kind to one another, God made each of us a source of happiness for others.

If there's anybody around, I won't have to look far for happiness today.

You are reading from the book:

In God's Care by Karen Casey

Lealonnie

Recovery Meditations: April 6th

~ Courage ~

It takes a lot of courage
to show your dreams to someone else.

Erma Bombeck

I remember first starting my Twelve Step program. I had lots of expectations and dreams, but I couldn't talk to anyone about them. I thought my dreams were stupid and that nobody there really cared about who I was or what I wanted to achieve.

This is a big problem with all of us compulsive overeaters. We all have hopes and dreams of losing our impulse to eat all the time, and of losing our excess weight. Thinking we're not worth anyone's time keeps us strong in our addiction.

As we work through the Steps and learn to trust our new family of choice, we get the courage to begin to open up and share our dreams and hopes. We all find our hidden courage by praying and trusting our Higher Power. We find the courage to tell people about ourselves and trust that nobody will put us down for our past or for the future we dream of achieving. Our dreams have no time limit; they don't have to happen immediately. They may happen immediately, or it may take a long time of struggling, but as long as we have hope and courage, they will become a reality in Higher Power's time.

One Day at a Time . . .
I remember that we learn that, together, things become much easier. As we share our experience, strength and dreams with others, they will help us learn how we can work with a special program and plan. With Higher Power and our recovery friends, our courage grows stronger, and we find we can and will succeed.

~ Jeanette ~

My Certified Health Coach Website

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Each Day a New Beginning

Treat your friends as you do your pictures, and place them in their best light.
—Jennie Jerome Churchill

Taking our friends and loved ones for granted, expecting perfection from them in every instance, greatly lessens the value we have in one another's life. Being hard on those closest to us may relieve some of the tension we feel about our own imperfections, but it creates another tension, one that may result in our friends leaving us behind.

We need the reminder, perhaps, that our friends are special to our growth. Our paths have crossed with reason. We complete a portion of the plan for one another's life. And for such gifts we need to offer gratitude.

Each of us is endowed with many qualities, some more enhancing than others; it is our hope, surely, that our lesser qualities will be ignored. We must do likewise for our friends. We can focus on the good, and it will flourish--in them, in ourselves, in all situations. A positive attitude nurtures everyone. Let us look for the good and, in time, it is all that will catch our attention.

I can make this day one to remember with fondness. I will appreciate a friend. I will let her know she matters in my life. Her life will be enhanced by my attention.

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.

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Food for Thought

Giving Up Delusions

As we work the steps of the OA program, our new actions produce new thoughts. When we are ready, our Higher Power reveals new truths and gives us new insights.

Gradually, we give up old, deluded ways of thinking. We realize that we had put self at the center of the universe, and we see this to be a delusion. We may have secretly considered ourselves better than those around us. Once we honestly take inventory and face up to our defects, we can no longer believe this. Another common delusion is that material goals will bring us ultimate satisfaction. When we admit the pain we have caused ourselves and others by our insatiable cravings and demands for material things, we see that they are not the answer.

Most of us have harbored the delusion that one day we will be completely rid of the temptation to overeat, and that we will then be able to relax our efforts. It is our experience that continued effort is required to maintain abstinence and that only through daily dedication to the life of the spirit are we able to receive sanity, strength, and satisfaction from our Higher Power.

Take away my delusions, Lord, and show me Your truth.

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The Language of Letting Go

Patience

How sick and tired we may become of people telling us to be patient or to learn patience. How frustrating it can be to want to finally have something, or to move forward, and then not have that happen. How irritating to have someone tell us to wait while our needs have not been met and were in the midst of anxiety, frustration, and inaction.

Do not confuse the suggestion to be patient with the old rule about not having feelings.

Being patient does not mean we go through the sometimes-grueling process of life and recovery without having feelings! Feel the frustration. Feel the impatience. Get as angry as you need to about not having your needs met. Feel your fear.

Controlling our feelings will not control the process!

We find patience by surrendering to our feelings. Patience cannot be forced. It is a gift, one that closely follows acceptance and gratitude. When we work through our feelings to fully accept who we are and what we have, we will be ready to be and have more.

Today, I will let myself have my feelings while I practice patience.

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Home wasn't build in a day.
--Jane Ace

Newcomer

I'm a lot better than when I was active in my addiction. But parts of my life still feel beyond my control. I don't mean earthquakes or floods. I mean getting to the dentist, repairing the car, doing the laundry, eating well. There are a lot of things I'm not taking care of the way I think I should.

Sponsor

Part of applying Steps Six and Seven to our lives is to take a look at simple behaviors that are keeping us uncomfortable and unbalanced in our recovery. Though we're not using addictive substances or behaviors, we may still be putting off the dentist, living on fast food, neglecting personal appearance, having no time for home or car maintenance, or letting bills pile up. The problems may seem minor – such things as always arriving ten minutes late to work, routinely losing keys or eyeglasses, never finding time for exercise – but they point to where we're stuck in our process of recovery. Over time, they pose risks to, rather than support of, our health and serenity.

We don't expect overnight cures, and we don't demand perfection of ourselves. We begin with awareness of what isn't working well for us. Then, each day, we take a small step toward change.

Today, I acknowledge a habit that stands between me and my serenity. I'm willing to take one small step toward changing it.

You are reading from the book:

Lealonnie

Recovery Meditations: April 5th

~ Acceptance ~

Until you make peace with who you are,
you will never be content with what you have.

Doris Mortman

Through abstinence and recovery, I can begin to accept myself. I can pay attention to my likes and my dislikes as I continue to grow and learn about me. Learning about myself is a new adventure. There are so many layers that have been hidden under years of food abuse and weight obsession. Exploring and discovering the new me requires a lot of acceptance. There are parts of me that I do not like, and there are also wonderful surprises. By accepting all parts of myself, I am honoring my Higher Power and demonstrating spiritual recovery.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will accept myself. By learning to accept myself, I will find myself growing in my acceptance of others.

~ Christine S. ~

My Certified Health Coach Website

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Each Day a New Beginning

I came to the conclusion then that "continual mindfulness". . . must mean, not a sergeant-major-like drilling of thoughts, but a continual readiness to look and readiness to accept whatever came.
—Joanna Field

Resistance to the events, the situations, the many people who come into our lives blocks the growth we are offered every day. Every moment of every day is offering us a gift: the gift of awareness of other persons, awareness of our natural surroundings, awareness of our own personal impact on creation. And in awareness comes our growth as women.

Living in the now, being present in the moment, guarantees us the protection of God. And in the stretches of time when we anxiously anticipate the events of the future, we cheat ourselves of the security God offers us right now.

We are always being taken care of, right here, right now. Being mindful, this minute, of what's happening and only this, eases all anxieties, erases all fears. We only struggle when we have moved our sights from the present moment. Within the now lies all peace.

The most important lesson I have to learn, the lesson that will eliminate all of my pain and struggle, is to receive fully that which is offered in each moment of my life.

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Food for Thought

Fears

Do you eat when you are afraid? Many of us do. When we were babies, being fed brought the safety of our mother's arms. As adults, we subconsciously give food a sort of magic ability to ward off real or imagined danger.

There are times when food may serve as a temporary tranquilizer, but overeating prevents us from facing what we fear and learning how to deal with it. Eating compulsively, moreover, usually produces a feeling of guilt and a fear of "getting caught." The fear that we will not be able to stop eating is added to the fear that prompted us to reach for food, and the more we eat, the greater our fears.

Many of our fears are groundless and irrational. Through contact with our Higher Power, we are given the sanity, which causes them to disappear. Those fears that remain are often the result of the self-centeredness, which prevents us from turning our lives completely over to God. When we give Him absolute control, we have nothing to fear.

May I love You enough to let go of my fears.

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The Language of Letting Go

Detaching in Love

Detachment is a key to recovery from codependency. It strengthens our healthy relationships - the ones that we want to grow and flourish. It benefits our difficult relationships - the ones that are teaching us to cope. It helps us!

Detachment is not something we do once. It's a daily behavior in recovery. We learn it when were beginning our recovery from codependency and adult children issues. And we continue to practice it along the way as we grow and change, and as our relationships grow and change.

We learn to let go of people we love, people we like, and those we don't particularly care for. We separate ourselves, and our process, from others and their process.

We relinquish our tight hold and our need to control in our relationships. We take responsibility for ourselves; we allow others to do the same. We detach with the understanding that life is unfolding exactly as it needs to, for others and ourselves. The way life unfolds is good, even when it hurts. And ultimately, we can benefit from even the most difficult situations. We do this with the understanding that a Power greater than ourselves is in charge, and all is well.

Today, I will apply the concept of detachment, to the best of my ability, in my relationships. If I cant let go completely, Ill try to hang on loose.

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Not what we would, but what we must, makes up the sum of living.
--Richard Henry Stoddard

"We must do the things we must" is frequent advice in the Program. Each Step is evidence of what our founders did in order to achieve abstinence and keep it going with serenity and security. All of the "musts" implied in the Steps and frequently mentioned throughout the Big Book are also spiritual. We will find the importance of "must" in the favorite quotes from that book.

The Steps aren't based on the theory of "thou shalt not." They are based on the theory that "thou shall." That's why we say "there are no musts" in our Program.

Fortunately, those Twelve Steps we work require positive action. They tell us what we can do in order that each of us can live a joyous, happy, and free existence.

"Must" appears many times in the Big Book, along with a few "absolutes." This doesn't refer to our requirements for working the Program. It just lets us concentrate on what we can do, not on what we can't.

You are reading from the book:

Easy Does It by Anonymous

Lealonnie

Recovery Meditations: April 4th

~ Commitment ~

Shallow men believe in luck ~
Strong men believe in cause and effect.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Abstinence did not happen for me until I made a commitment to it. I realized that I would have abstinence until something was a bit too uncomfortable for me to face or feel. Then I would have a slip. So it became a game for me. Was this event or circumstance enough to justify another slip? Sure, why not? That's the nature of the disease. Everything and anything was an excuse to eat.

It wasn't until I made a commitment to abstinence that I was forced to find my solutions in the Twelve Steps and really let go of my addiction. I'm grateful to my Higher Power that I hit the bottom I did. By accepting the truth about myself and my food addiction, I am now free to live in the solution.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will renew my commitment by receiving the gift of abstinence and practicing my program to the best of my ability.

~ Christine S. ~

My Certified Health Coach Website

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Each Day a New Beginning

All we are asked to bear we can bear. That is a law of the spiritual life. The only hindrance to the working of this law, as of all benign laws, is fear.
—Elizabeth Goudge

There is no problem too difficult to handle with all the help available to us. Let's not be overwhelmed. The program tells us to "Let go and let God," to turn it over. And that's where the solution lies.

Our challenges, the stumbling blocks in our way, beckon us toward the spiritual working-out of the problem which moves us closer toward being the women we are meant to be. Our fear comes from not trusting in the power greater than ourselves to provide the direction we need, to make known the solution.

Every day we will have challenges. We have lessons to learn which means growing pains. If we could but remember that our challenges are gifts to grow on and that within every problem lies the solution.

I will not be given more than I and my higher power can handle today, or any day.

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Food for Thought

Resting

We compulsive overeaters often used food as a stimulant when we felt the need to be busy about something. Of course, food did not keep us stimulated for long, since we usually ate too much and ended up in a stupor.

With this program, we can be more in touch with how our bodies really feel. There are times when the craving for food may mask our fatigue, times when what we need is rest, not food. When we are tired and feel that we cannot continue with what we are doing, it is very possible that we need to rest rather than eat. A short nap can refresh us much more than unnecessary food.

True rest for our spirit as well as our body comes from our Higher Power. A period of meditation can lift us out of mental and emotional depression. Only a brief moment is required to take our attention away from the daily routine and let our consciousness be drawn to God. These frequent pauses during the day tap a vast storehouse of energy and power.

I rest in Your greatness, Lord.

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The Language of Letting Go

Negotiating Conflicts

Recovery is about more than walking away. Sometimes it means learning to stay and deal. It's about building and maintaining relationships that work.
—Beyond Codependency

Problems and conflicts are part of life and relationships - with friends, family, loved ones, and at work - problem-solving and conflict negotiation are skills we can acquire and improve with time.

Not being willing to tackle and solve problems in relationships leads to unresolved feelings of anger and victimization, terminated relationships, unresolved problems, and power plays that intensify the problem and waste time and energy.

Not being willing to face and solve problems means we may run into that problem again.

Some problems with people cannot be worked out in mutually satisfactory ways. Sometimes the problem is a boundary issue we have, and there is not room to negotiate. In that case, we need to clearly understand what we want and need and what our bottom line is.

Some problems with people, though, can be worked out, worked through, and satisfactorily negotiated. Often, there are workable options for solving problems that we will not even see until we become open to the concept of working through problems in relationships, rather than running from the problems.

To negotiate problems, we must be willing to identify the problem, let go of blame and shame, and focus on possible creative solutions. To successfully negotiate and solve problems in relationships, we must have a sense of our bottom line and our boundary issues, so we don't waste time trying to negotiate non-negotiable issues.

We need to learn to identify what both people really want and need and the different possibilities for working that out. We can learn to be flexible without being too flexible. Committed, intimate relationships mean two people are learning to work together through their problems and conflicts in ways that work in both people's best interest.

Today, I will be open to negotiating conflicts I have with people. I will strive for balance without being too submissive or too demanding. I will strive for appropriate flexibility in my problem-solving efforts.

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Easy Does It

So, you surrendered. You let go. Now you're ready to face a particular challenge. So you hunker down and garner all your forces. And you hit the wall again.

What's wrong? you may ask. I'm doing all the spiritual things I'm supposed to do. And things still aren't working, I can't get anywhere.

Did you ever try to get a key to unlock a door, and you tried and tried, and the key just wouldn't open it? The harder you tried, the more frustrated you became. So you stopped trying for awhile, relaxed, and tried again. Voila. The key fit perfectly and the slightest turn unlocked the door.

There's a gentler way of being in the world, of trying things, doing things, going about our business.

Whether I'm tackling a specific project, enjoying a new relationship, or grinding through some miserable situation, my first inclination is to force myself and try too hard. If one cup of tea tastes good, I'll drink five. If I want to express love or concern for someone, I'll overdo it.

"If it's worth doing, it's worth doing well," doesn't mean if it's worth doing, try harder and harder. Doing it well means relaxing and letting the actions unfold gently, naturally, without force. Pull back a little. Relax.

You are reading from the book:

52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie

Lealonnie

Lealonnie

Recovery Meditations: April 3rd

~ The Future ~

When I look into the future, it's so bright it burns my eyes.

Oprah Winfrey

I receive the gift of abstinence one day at a time. I am relieved from the obsession to eat one day at a time. With the help of my Higher Power, I can live life on life's terms... one day at a time.

As my recovery builds and builds, I start to imagine all the possibilities for my life. Things I never had the confidence or emotional stability to pursue are options for me. Now that I am free from the despair and self-destruction of overeating, there is space to actualize new adventures. But before I become overwhelmed or grandiose in my thinking, the Program gently reminds me that it is STILL just one day a time.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will work my program so that I have a future.

~ Christine S. ~

My Certified Health Coach Website

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Each Day a New Beginning

Those who do not know how to weep with their whole heart don't know how to laugh either.
—Golda Meir

We all know people who live on the fringes of life. They seem uninvolved with the activity in their midst, as though a pane of glass separated them from us. And there are times when we join the persons standing alone away from the vibrancy of life. Fears keep people apart, particularly the fear of letting go of the vulnerable self and joining in the feelings of the moment.

To fully reap the benefits of life, we have to risk full exposure to one another and to the experience of the moment. Full involvement in the ebb and flow of life will bring the weeping that accompanies both the pain and the joy of life. It will also bring the fruits of laughter.

Both laughter and weeping cleanse us. They bring closure to an experience. They make possible our letting go. And we must let go of pain, as well as joy, to ready ourselves for the next blessing life offers us.

When we keep ourselves apart, when we hold off the tears or the laughter, we cheat ourselves of the richness of life. We have to go through an experience fully in order to learn all it can teach us and then be free of it.

Past experiences never let me go until I fully grieve those that need to be grieved or laugh over those that deserve the light touch. The present is distorted when the past shadows it.

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Food for Thought

Trusting God

Most of us have spent a great amount of time and energy trying to order and arrange our own lives. We have searched frantically for something to hang on to which would solve our problems - a new diet, a new job, a new lover. Nothing has worked permanently. The harder we have tried to straighten ourselves out the more our problems have defeated us.

When we came into the OA program, we were advised to "let go and let God." At first, this may have seemed to us to be a huge cop out. The idea of passively waiting for a Higher Power to do for us what we could not do for ourselves was an insult to our pride and our illusions of self-sufficiency. We were afraid to let go.

Our Higher Power requires that we be willing to trust Him with our lives in order to receive His strength and direction. From our vantage point of limited knowledge, there is a risk involved in letting go. If we are willing to take this risk and if we have the courage to face our fear, we will eventually receive the peace and support which we so desperately need. Besides, what do we have to lose except our own weakness?

Grant me courage to trust You completely.

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The Language of Letting Go

Acceptance

Surrender to the moment. Ride it out and through, for all it's worth. Throw yourself into it.

Stop resisting.

So much of our anguish is created when we are in resistance. So much relief, release, and change are possible when we accept, simply accept.

We waste our time, expend our energy, and make things harder by resisting, repressing, and denying. Repressing our thoughts will not make them disappear. Repressing a thought already formed will not make us a better person. Think it. Let it come into reality. Then release it. A thought is not forever. If we don't like it, we can think another one or change it. But to do that, we must accept and release the first thought.

Resistance and repression will not change a thing. They will put us at war with our thoughts.

We make life harder by resisting and repressing our feelings. No matter how dark, how uncomfortable, how unjustified, how surprising, how inappropriate we might deem our feelings, resisting and repressing them will not free us from them. Doing that will make them worse. They will swirl inside us, torment us, make us sick, and make our body ache, compel us to do compulsive things, keep us awake, or put us to sleep.

In the final analysis, all that we're really called on to do is accept our feelings by feeling them, and saying, Yes, this is what I feel.

Feelings are for the present moment. The more quickly we can accept a feeling, the more quickly we will move on to the next.

Resisting or repressing thoughts and feelings does not change us or turn us into the person we want to be or think we should be. It puts us in resistance to reality. It makes us repressed. Eventually, it makes us depressed.

Resisting events or circumstances in our life does not change things, no matter how undesirable the events or circumstances may be.

Acceptance turns us into the person we are and want to be. Acceptance empowers the events and circumstances to turn around for the better.

What do we do if we're in resistance, in a tug of war with some reality in our life? Accepting our resistance can help us get through that too.

Acceptance does not mean we're giving our approval. It does not mean surrendering to the will and plans of another. It does not mean commitment. It is not forever. It is for the present moment. Acceptance does not make things harder; it makes things easier. Acceptance does not mean we accept abuse or mistreatment; it does not mean we forego boundaries, our hopes, dreams, desires, wants, or ourselves. It means we accept what is, so we know what to do to take care of ourselves and what boundaries we need to set. It means we accept what is and who we are at the moment, so we are free to change and grow.

Acceptance and surrender move us forward on this journey. Force does not work.

Acceptance and surrender - two concepts that hurt the most before we do them.

Today, I will practice accepting my present circumstances and myself. I will begin to watch and trust the magic that acceptance can bring into my life and recovery.

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

You are the hero of your life.

Each of us plays the starring role in the drama that is our life. We co-create the script along with our Higher Power. Sometimes we forget our lines, and so we improvise as best we can. We are heroes, each of us, as we move through the events of the day, refining our character and using our gifts to shape the action of every scene.

We can each be a hero in the drama of recovery. To the casual observer, what we do and say may not appear to be at all heroic. But we - as insiders who are only too well acquainted with our individual limitations - can appreciate and applaud a difficult decision or action.

When we accept our role in life, when we pledge to use our energies to do the best we can, and when we rely on our Higher Power for guidance and support, we will be well on our way toward recovering.

I can be a hero today, even if it doesn't show.

You are reading from the book:

Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

Lealonnie

Recovery Meditations: April 2nd

~ Love ~

There is only one happiness in life ... to love and be loved.

George Sand

It took me many, many years to really and truly discover what turned out to be something that I have yearned for all of my life. That "something" was love ~ both the ability to love and to accept love.

As a child, I felt I had to achieve to be loved and, in the process of achieving, lost a great deal of my childhood. This carried over to adulthood and thus began the years of doing what was expected of me (or so I thought) in order to be loved, valued and respected.

Recovery has taught me so much about myself and about love. One of the greatest truths I have learned about myself and my ability to love is that for me to love someone, it is not necessary that they love me back. My loving someone else never depends on their loving me ... but how wonderful it is when they do.

One Day at a Time . . .
Let me realize that love is something that just happens ... I can't make it happen ... and I can't stop it from happening.

~ Mari ~

My Certified Health Coach Website

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Each Day a New Beginning

Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace.
—Amelia Earhart

We have learned from experience that a wave of peacefulness washes over us after we have successfully finished a task that was difficult to face. Courage has its reward. However, from time to time, and from task to task, we find we need the reminder that peace will come once the loose ends have been tied by us.

Our search for peace was desperate and unending in past years. Our fears overwhelmed us more often than not. Courage was seldom displayed. Tasks were often left half done or not done at all. Challenges went unmet. And peace eluded us.

We are so lucky that the program found us, and that we found the program! We are looking forward, at last, with the courage that trusting a higher power has given us. Peace is ours, now and always, as we go forth with the strength of the program to bolster us. New jobs, new friends, new situations may still elicit our old fears. But their hold on us is gone. We have learned that we face nothing alone. What relief that simple truth brings.

Courage is one of the program's gifts. I will have courage to go forward: to meet the new day, to handle whatever confronts me. Peace is coupled with courage, now and forever.

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.

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Food for Thought

Food Is Not God

Though we may not have admitted it, food was probably the most important thing in our lives when we were overeating. How many times did our relationships with family and friends suffer because of our slavery to our appetites? How often did we hurt those we loved by placing our craving above their needs?

Instead of loving God first, most of us . . .

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The Language of Letting Go

Facing Our Darker Side
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
—Step Four of Al-Anon

By the time we get to the Fourth of the Twelve Steps, we are ready to face our darker side, the side that prevents us from loving others, from letting others love us, and from enjoying life and ourselves. The purpose of Step Four is not to make ourselves feel worse; our purpose is to begin to remove our blocks to joy and love.

We look for fears, anger, hurt, and shame from past events - buried feelings that may be affecting our life today. We search for subconscious beliefs about others and ourselves that may be interfering with the quality of our relationships. These beliefs say: I'm not lovable . . . I'm a burden to those around me . . . People can't be trusted . . . I can't be trusted . . . I don't deserve to be happy and successful . . . Life isn't worth living. We look at our behaviors and patterns with an eye toward discerning the self-defeating ones. With love and compassion for ourselves, we try to unearth all our guilt - earned and unearned - and expose it to the light.

We perform this examination without fear of what we shall find, because this soul searching can cleanse us and help us feel better about ourselves than we ever dreamed possible.

God, help me search out the blocks and barriers within myself. Bring what I need to know into my conscious mind, so I can be free of it. Show me what I need to know about myself.

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Unless our desire for human compassion is stronger than our desire to be right, to be secure or to belong, love will elude us.
--Marsha Sinetar

Knowing we are loved is what most of us crave. For brief moments we feel it; then it eludes us once again. Why does it slip through our fingers so quickly? One way of attracting the love we desire is to be willing to love others. What we give to others comes back to us. Unfortunately, we may give judgment, impatience, or anger far more often than we give love.

We can learn to give compassion. First we need to make the decision to be compassionate. Then we need to act as if we're comfortable doing this. When we have practiced it awhile, we'll discover that giving love and receiving the love we crave is within our grasp.

I will feel loved when I give love away. I don't need to be right today. I need to be loved.

You are reading from the book:

A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

Lealonnie

Recovery Meditations: April 1st

HAPPINESS

Happiness is an achievement brought about by inner productiveness.
People succeed at being happy by building a liking for themselves.

Erich Fromm

It has been said that if one of us ever treated another human being the way we treated ourselves, we would be liable for criminal charges. I did not treat myself as a friend, someone I loved; I constantly fed into my unhappiness.

Alcoholics Anonymous co-founder Bill W. was asked, shortly before he died, to sum up the program in the lowest common denominator. He replied, "Get right with yourself, with God, then with your neighbor." Therefore, it stands to reason that I must start making friends with myself. I must treat myself with love and dignity, and the result will be happiness. To be happy, joyous, and free is the by-product of obedience to the program.

One Day at a Time . . .
Am I going to try being happy?
Am I going to make friends with myself?
If not today, when?

~ Jeremiah ~

My Certified Health Coach Website

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Each Day a New Beginning

To be wildly enthusiastic, or deadly serious--both are wrong. Both pass. One must keep ever present a sense of humor.
—Katherine Mansfield

How familiar wild enthusiasm and deadly seriousness are to most of us. We experience life within the extremes. The thrill of wild enthusiasm we try to trap, to control. We are exhilarated and feel good. Our serious side traps us, controls us, lowers a pall on all our activities. Both expressions keep us stuck. Neither expression allows the freedom of spontaneity so necessary to a full, healthy life.

Through our addiction - the liquor, the upper, the person, the food--we were searching for a feeling we didn't feel. We were searching for an unnatural state of happiness, even perhaps wild enthusiasm, because we had so little of any enthusiasm for life. Our search failed. Again and again we'd "catch it," only to have it elude us.

We may not have given up the search. But we will come to accept both states of mind as temporary and search instead for the middle ground. A sense of humor will make all of life's loads easier to bear. A sense of humor will offer us the balance that has been missing for so many years.

Today will offer me a chance to be wildly enthusiastic and a chance to be deadly serious. I'll try to focus on the middle ground and cultivate my sense of humor.

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Food for Thought

Came to Believe

Perhaps we have believed in a Higher Power all our lives, or perhaps we have been agnostic. In either case we have been unable to apply faith and belief to our greatest problem - compulsive overeating.

OA asks only that we be willing to believe and that we keep an open mind. As we hear the stories of members who have come to believe through the program, our own faith grows. As we experience God's grace, our belief increases.

Steps One, Two, and Three work together. Only by admitting that the problem has us defeated, that we are powerless - only then do we become open to a Higher Power. If there is no way that we can stop eating compulsively by our own strength, then we require a strength greater than our own. Others have found this strength in God, as He is understood by each individual. When we turn our will and our lives over to our Higher Power and practice the Twelve Steps every day, we apply our belief and faith. The belief may be very small and weak in the beginning, but like the mustard seed, it grows. Gradually, we become convinced of what we had known all along, but were afraid to believe.

Strengthen my belief, I pray.

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The Language of Letting Go

Going Easy
Go easy. You may have to push forward, but you don't have to push so hard. Go in gentleness - go in peace.

Do not be in so much of a hurry. At no day, no hour, no time are you required to do more than you can do in peace.

Frantic behaviors and urgency are not the foundation for our new way of life.

Do not be in too much of a hurry to begin. Begin, but do not force the beginning if it is not time. Beginnings will arrive soon enough.

Enjoy and relish middles, the heart of the matter.

Do not be in too much of a hurry to finish. You may be almost done, but enjoy the final moments. Give yourself fully to those moments so that you may give and get all there is.

Let the pace flow naturally. Move forward. Start. Keep moving forward. Do it gently, though. Do it in peace. Cherish each moment.

Today, God, help me focus on a peaceful pace rather than a harried one. I will keep moving forward gently, not frantically. Help me let go of my need to be anxious, upset, and harried. Help me replace it with a need to be a peace and in harmony.

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

When people don't forgive, they probably shorten their lives.
--Doris Donnelly

Sometimes forgiveness seems impossible and we feel stuck in the quicksand of our own resentment. When everything else fails, we can try the "First Five People Forgiveness Plan." Each morning we make a decision to forgive the first five people we come in contact with who make us mad. We forgive all five people without analyzing or deciding if they deserve to be forgiven. We promptly forgive each one of them without exception.

This simple plan can work wonders for those of us who usually hold on to resentments and anger. Letting go of anger and resentment lets us feel our loving side. In learning to forgive others we can begin learning about how to forgive ourselves, too.

Today let me also remember that I, too, deserve forgiveness.

You are reading from the book:

Our Best Days by Nancy Hull-Mast

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Monday, April 7, 2014

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Saturday, April 5, 2014

Friday, April 4, 2014

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Tuesday, April 1, 2014