Recovery
Meditations: October 9th
BALANCE SHEET
“It is amazing what
you can accomplish if
you do not care who
gets the credit.”
Harry S. Truman
Before I came to OA, I kept an emotional account of all my
positive actions. I didn't really do that many good things, but the few I did
were meant to show how great and kind I was. I even “wrote down” smiles,
talking politely, giving a hand in the house, or filling in at work. I expected
a great reward one day for all of my good actions ~ especially considering all
of the things I put up with. I wanted people to speak well of me. I wanted
people to grieve in great sorrow at my funeral for losing the fantastic person
I was. Because I felt I never got back half of what I had put into this balance
sheet, my resentments started to block me from acting nicely. Why help out,
when nobody ever does anything for me? I didn't have an honest focus on
reality. I felt worn out, bitter, used and angry. Why was I never paid what I
deserved?
I learned in OA that I have a terminal disease which will
kill me sooner or later -- if I do not change my thinking and acting. I am
powerless over this disease. The only thing I can do is to admit I’m powerless
and surrender. As I see it, this disease is the primary reason I have gotten
into trouble all my life. I am self-centered, bitter, immature and insecure.
Before I entered these rooms, I didn't know how to have a real friend, or brush
my teeth on a daily basis. In this program, I learned that I am worthy,
loveable, and an ordinary woman -- with my positive and negative sides -- just
like everyone else. When I am accountable today to God as I understand him, I
do not need an emotional balance sheet. I do not need to grow bitter or hate
other people.
One day at a time...
Because I have so
generously been given a new life in this program, I choose to give service to
my homegroup and to give time and patience to my sponsees. I choose to give of
myself, for that does not have a price, in money or in diplomas. I no longer
need the credit for what I give.
~ Trine
*********************************************
Each Day A New Beginning
—Martha Boesing
What a blessing, to be part of God! For many of us, invoking God with a male pronoun put an obstacle in the path of our spiritual growth. We felt left out. Worship of something called "He" or "Him" didn't jibe with our spirituality. When we pray, we pray to a spiritual source that includes everything, that leaves nothing out: sexes, all races, all ages and conditions.
Some of us had no trouble understanding that God is everything, no matter how God is invoked. But whatever our path to spirituality, the Twelve Step program has enriched our understanding. Before we practiced the Twelve Steps, we had allowed ourselves to forget the strength and nurture that are always at hand, and now we are grateful to be reminded that God is with us, within us, and all is well.
One woman says, "When I feel far from God, I ask myself: Who moved?" God is always there. Today I will pray for the wisdom to stay close to my spiritual source, the Creator Spirit.
************************************************
Food For Thought
We can learn from our mistakes so that we do not have to make the same ones over and over again. If a particular attitude or situation consistently makes it difficult for us to follow our food plan, then that attitude or situation needs to be changed. Slips do not just happen. They indicate that something is wrong with our program and that we have not yet learned what we need to know about ourselves.
Being aware of the circumstances, which make us vulnerable to overeating, helps us to be prepared for temptation and to find ways to avoid it wherever possible. If there are certain foods, which we cannot resist, then we should not have those foods available. If trying to do too much makes us tired and emotionally upset, then we need to be less ambitious and learn to delegate responsibility. Compulsive overeating or emotional bingeing indicates that we are not living in a way, which satisfies our basic needs.
Lord, may we learn from our mistakes.
From Food for
Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992
by Hazelden Foundation.
The Language of Letting Go
I've started to realize that waiting is an art, that waiting achieves things. Waiting can be very, very powerful. Time is a valuable thing. If you can wait two years, you can sometimes achieve something that you could not achieve today, however hard you worked, however much money you threw up in the air, however many times you banged your head against the wall. . .
—The Courage to Change by Dennis Wholey
The people who are most successful at living and loving are those who can learn to wait successfully. Not many people enjoy waiting or learning patience. Yet, waiting can be a powerful tool that will help us accomplish much good.
We cannot always have what we want when we want it. For different reasons, what we want to do, have, be, or accomplish is not available to us now. But there are things we could not do or have today, no matter what, that we can have in the future. Today, we would make ourselves crazy trying to accomplish what will come naturally and with ease later.
We can trust that all is on schedule. Waiting time is not wasted time. Something is being worked out - in us, in someone else, in the Universe.
We don't have to put our life on hold while we wait. We can direct our attention elsewhere; we can practice acceptance and gratitude in the interim; we can trust that we do have a life to live while we are waiting - then we go about living it.
Deal with your frustration and impatience, but learn how to wait. The old saying, "You can't always get what you want" isn't entirely true. Often, in life, we can get what we want - especially the desires of our heart - if we can learn to wait.
Today, I am willing to learn the art of patience. If I am feeling powerless because I am waiting for something to happen and I am not in control of timing, I will focus on the power available to me by learning to wait.
*****************************************************
Today's thought from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:
Our deeds determine us, as much as we determine our deeds.
--George Eliot
Who are we, really? It seems like we are one person on the inside, and yet we often act like someone else. Can a good person do bad things? Can a bad person do good things? It's pretty confusing, isn't it?
Our recovery program teaches us that we can change who we are by changing the things we do. We can become the kind of person we want to be by acting as if we are already that person. For example, if we want to be sober, we can act as if we are a sober person; that is, don't drink, and don't hang out in places where people go to drink. If we want to be a caring person, we can do caring actions for others.
We are the person we feel like on the inside. We are also the person we act like on the outside. In recovery, we change how we think, feel, and act. We practice making changes in each of these areas, and every time we do well in one area, we help in the others too.
Prayer for the Day
Higher Power, help me become the person I want to be by changing how I act, how I feel, and how I think. I am sick and tired of acting, feeling, and thinking like an addict.
Our deeds determine us, as much as we determine our deeds.
--George Eliot
Who are we, really? It seems like we are one person on the inside, and yet we often act like someone else. Can a good person do bad things? Can a bad person do good things? It's pretty confusing, isn't it?
Our recovery program teaches us that we can change who we are by changing the things we do. We can become the kind of person we want to be by acting as if we are already that person. For example, if we want to be sober, we can act as if we are a sober person; that is, don't drink, and don't hang out in places where people go to drink. If we want to be a caring person, we can do caring actions for others.
We are the person we feel like on the inside. We are also the person we act like on the outside. In recovery, we change how we think, feel, and act. We practice making changes in each of these areas, and every time we do well in one area, we help in the others too.
Prayer for the Day
Higher Power, help me become the person I want to be by changing how I act, how I feel, and how I think. I am sick and tired of acting, feeling, and thinking like an addict.
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