~ DROWNING TROUBLES ~
You can't drown your troubles,
because trouble can swim.
Margaret Millar
My feelings have always been too large for me to handle alone. Whenever I felt troubled or had a problem too big to handle, I always turned to my friend and comforter...FOOD. This friend and I went everywhere together and with it, I figured that I could handle anything thrown at me. This friend made me feel good. I was drowning my troubles one by one.
Then someone said to me, "Don't you know that eating too much, drinking too much or even working too much won't solve your problems! Troubles usually reproduce themselves rapidly when you try to drown them."
I really didn't understand what she was trying to tell me but kept the thought tucked inside my hat. My friend food and I just kept batting these troubles deeper and deeper in my sea of tears, but sure enough, they would bounce right back up at me again later only twice as bad. What was happening? I was using my friend more each time and I began to hate it. Why was food trying to hurt me? I really thought it was my friend.
Finally, after many bruises, I realized what that person was trying to tell me. She was right. My troubles were swimming and I was drowning. I was using one of my addictions to try and fight the others, and was only going in circles. I was caught in a tidal wave and unable to get out alone. Each of my other addictions were throwing me back to my primary addiction of compulsive eating...my former friend, FOOD.
But where could I go? What could I do? The wonderful person who warned me led me to my recovery meeting and stayed with me. She helped me to find a Higher Power who was always there to help. I learned to share my experiences with my recovery family of choice. I got a wonderful sponsor who also knew me as well as I know myself. Together we looked at all the problems and troubles of the past and they weren't so heavy any more. I moved out of the deep sea that I couldn't swim in, and on dryer, more sturdy ground. What a relief!
One Day at a Time . . .
I remember that my troubles are strong and can drown me in the sea of food if I try to handle them alone. Troubles may be able to swim strongly, but they are NO MATCH for me, my Higher Power, my sponsor and Program. Together, we are strong, but alone we are weak. Together we can do what we can never do alone.
~ Jeanette ~
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Each Day a New Beginning
As in the physical world, so in the spiritual world, pain does not "last forever."
—Katherine Mansfield
Each of us struggles with pain and its repercussions; some of us more than others. At times pain seems unending. Sometimes we hang onto the pain in our lives, maybe because we fear even more what's on the other side. The unknown so easily controls us. Right at this moment, each of us can look back on other painful times and feel thankful for what they taught us. The puzzle pieces take on a deeper meaning when we enjoy the gift of perspective. The pain at this moment fits, too, in the bigger picture of our lives. And it will pass. It is passing.
The wisdom of the past tells us that pain enriches us, prepares us to better serve others. We come to know who we are and the specialness of our gifts through the despair that at times encumbers us. An old, wise saying, is, "We are never given more than we can handle."
My pain today is bringing me closer to the woman I'm meant to be. With each breath I'll remember that.
—Katherine Mansfield
Each of us struggles with pain and its repercussions; some of us more than others. At times pain seems unending. Sometimes we hang onto the pain in our lives, maybe because we fear even more what's on the other side. The unknown so easily controls us. Right at this moment, each of us can look back on other painful times and feel thankful for what they taught us. The puzzle pieces take on a deeper meaning when we enjoy the gift of perspective. The pain at this moment fits, too, in the bigger picture of our lives. And it will pass. It is passing.
The wisdom of the past tells us that pain enriches us, prepares us to better serve others. We come to know who we are and the specialness of our gifts through the despair that at times encumbers us. An old, wise saying, is, "We are never given more than we can handle."
My pain today is bringing me closer to the woman I'm meant to be. With each breath I'll remember that.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey
© 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
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Food for Thought
Cleaning Up
Cleaning up after a meal and taking care of leftovers is a hard job for most compulsive overeaters. What makes it so difficult is our old habit of putting leftovers in our mouths instead of in the refrigerator or the garbage. Once we decide that we will have nothing at all after our measured meal, the clean up job becomes amazingly easy.
If we are not spending our energy fighting the temptation to have a bite of this or that, the energy is available for the task that needs to be done. Cleaning up is accomplished with much less time and effort when we are not arguing with ourselves about what happens to the leftovers.
In the past, we may have felt that cleaning up was a demeaning job. As we work our program, we begin to get more satisfaction from all the work we do, and we are less concerned about the relative status of the jobs that fall to us. There is satisfaction in cleaning up after a meal, just as there is satisfaction in cleaning up our lives by means of the OA program.
May I not be too proud to enjoy cleaning up.
Cleaning up after a meal and taking care of leftovers is a hard job for most compulsive overeaters. What makes it so difficult is our old habit of putting leftovers in our mouths instead of in the refrigerator or the garbage. Once we decide that we will have nothing at all after our measured meal, the clean up job becomes amazingly easy.
If we are not spending our energy fighting the temptation to have a bite of this or that, the energy is available for the task that needs to be done. Cleaning up is accomplished with much less time and effort when we are not arguing with ourselves about what happens to the leftovers.
In the past, we may have felt that cleaning up was a demeaning job. As we work our program, we begin to get more satisfaction from all the work we do, and we are less concerned about the relative status of the jobs that fall to us. There is satisfaction in cleaning up after a meal, just as there is satisfaction in cleaning up our lives by means of the OA program.
May I not be too proud to enjoy cleaning up.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L.
©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.
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The Language of Letting Go
True to Ourselves
This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou 'canst not then be false to any man.
—William Shakespeare
To thine own self be true. A grounding statement for those of us who get caught up in the storm of needs and feelings of others.
Listen to the self. What do we need? Are those needs getting met? What do we feel? What do we need to do to take care of our feelings? What are our feelings telling us about ourselves and the direction we need to go?
What do we want to do or say? What are our instincts telling us? Trust them - even if they don't make sense or meet other people's rules and expectations.
Sometimes, the demands of other people and our confused expectations of ourselves - the messages about our responsibilities toward others - can create a tremendous, complicated mess.
We can even convince ourselves that people pleasing, going against our nature and not being honest, is the kind, honest thing to do!
Not true. Simplify. Back to basics. Let go of the confusion. By honoring and respecting ourselves, we will be true to those around us, even if we displease them momentarily.
To thine own self be true. Simple words describing a powerful task that can put us back on track.
Today, I will honor, cherish, and love myself. When confused about what to do, I will be true to myself. I will break free of the hold others, and their expectations, have on me.
This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou 'canst not then be false to any man.
—William Shakespeare
To thine own self be true. A grounding statement for those of us who get caught up in the storm of needs and feelings of others.
Listen to the self. What do we need? Are those needs getting met? What do we feel? What do we need to do to take care of our feelings? What are our feelings telling us about ourselves and the direction we need to go?
What do we want to do or say? What are our instincts telling us? Trust them - even if they don't make sense or meet other people's rules and expectations.
Sometimes, the demands of other people and our confused expectations of ourselves - the messages about our responsibilities toward others - can create a tremendous, complicated mess.
We can even convince ourselves that people pleasing, going against our nature and not being honest, is the kind, honest thing to do!
Not true. Simplify. Back to basics. Let go of the confusion. By honoring and respecting ourselves, we will be true to those around us, even if we displease them momentarily.
To thine own self be true. Simple words describing a powerful task that can put us back on track.
Today, I will honor, cherish, and love myself. When confused about what to do, I will be true to myself. I will break free of the hold others, and their expectations, have on me.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation
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Happiness is not a matter of events; it depends upon the tides of the mind.
--Alice Meynell
It's all too easy to blame a friend, spouse, or co-worker for the uneven quality of our lives. If only others would behave according to our plans and dictates, then all would go well, we think. What seldom is remembered or even understood is that each of us has an individual perspective on any single event - our own. We need to stretch our minds and hearts to understand an experience from another's point of view. However, we need never fully understand how another perceives life. We need only to accept that another's perspective is legitimate.
Our happiness is not dependent on the perceptions or the actions of someone else. Nor is it dependent on attention, or lack of it, from a loved one. Our occupation may be challenging and fulfilling; however, the joy we get from it depends on the attitude we carry to the job. In every way, whether in the company of others or by ourselves, we make our own happiness.
My opportunity for happiness is guaranteed if I opt for it today.
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